aeroroleplays-blog

[aeroroleplays-blog]

1325AE, a medium-sized, grey-furred Charr kneels over a mound.

OOC note: This is some old stuff. I wrote this a looong time ago lol. If this is your first time here, you might want to read something else. This is rough.)) Nyx wasn’t unhappy.

Contrary to what she thought everyone assumed, she was actually quite…alright. Not great. Alright.

Well, most of the time, at least.

She gazed down at the lump in the soil, eyes not quite managing to fully take in what she was seeing. A flower had begun to grow on the mound. Without thinking, Nyx shifted forwards, plucking it from the soil and tossing it aside, eyes tracking it as it drifted in the wind and came to rest on the ground nearby. She settled down once more, vision now focusing on just below the bulge. Her mind urged her to say something, anything. She bit her tongue, fighting the urge. Gods weren’t real. He was dead. Gone. Forever. Fear welled up in her chest as she realized that one day, she, too, would be reduced to nothing.

The urge suddenly flared. Without even being conscious of it, Nyx’s mouth was open and she was speaking. “Hey, Ollus. Been a year since I got you killed. Thought I’d pay you a visit.” She waited. Nothing happened. Obviously, it wouldn’t. She felt a bit stupid. Really stupid, actually. “So, uh…” She wrinkled her nose. “Uh…well, you kind of acted like you hated me, so this is a bit…confusing…” Silence again. “Well, hey, uh…” She reached into her bag, withdrawing a rusted iron ring a second later. “I…uh…got this…for you…” Her voice trailed off, and she awkwardly dropped the metal at the foot of the unmarked grave. “So…uhm…” More silence. She whistled a bit. Stopped. Silence reigned, from her mane down to her claw tips, as she thought of something to say.

Finally, she chuckled. “Hey. That’s funny. When you were, you know, alive, before I killed you, kinda, you said the only thing I could do was stab really good and sing really bad.” She paused, waiting to see if the earth would split open and the brown-furred Charr would burst out of it. Nothing happened, so she resumed speaking. “Said I could whistle nice, though.” Nyx continued chuckling as she took a swig of an unmarked bottle. She didn’t care what she drank, anymore. She wanted anything. Anything at all. “Heh. Remember…” She began laughing. “Remember the time we were all on sewage duty, ‘cause we read the location to our patrol wrong, and we had to relay back that there could be an invasion where we were supposed to be, for all we knew?”

She slowly rose to a crouch. “I was cleanin’ up the pipes to some place, and we were in the Citadel, so there were a buncha other pipes,” she waved a paw. “But, anyway, I accidentally dropped my dagger down into a one of them, and it made that screeching noise…” She laughed. “And Scallus said that he would rather listen to that than listen to me talk!” The laughter continued as she rose to her feet, leaning against the nearby rock. Finally, still laughing, she raised her bottle, slamming it against the rock with a loud shatter.

“I hated him!” Nyx howled with laughter. “I hated all of you! I wanted you all to die!” She took in a moment to suck in breath before continuing. “I was stupid. So dumb. So stupid…” She wildly grabbed for the rock, banging her head against it. “Stupid, stupid…”

Every word was punctuated by her head slamming against the stone. “Stupid…”

Bash.

“Stupid, stupid…”

Two more.

“Stupid…” She took in a deep breath, composing herself before swinging her head as fast as she could.

“Stupid!” Nyx screamed. Silence. She stumbled away, slowly raising a claw to her forehead. It felt moist with blood. She lowered her hand, mutely gazing at the meaningless liquid on it. She could feel it running down her, through her, out of her and away from her. Slowly, she sat down. Silence once more took its throne over her as she stared into the distance.

Nothing came to her mind but more blood as it seeped out of her. She mutely withdrew a roll of gauze from her bag, and began wrapping it around the wound. By the time she finished, the initial shock had worn off, and her head throbbed with pain. There was silence. “Sorry.” She spoke into the wind. She wasn’t sure who she was apologizing to. To herself?

She tried to speak. Her voice faltered. She glanced at the mound. A wave of disgust overtook her as she realized she couldn’t keep her emotions in check, not even right next to their greatest failure. “Screw this.” She swore, standing up. “I don’t regret anything.” She glared at it hatefully. “I’m not sorry for anything. You deserved it. All of you…” Even as the words escaped her lips, she felt like something sacred was being violated.

“You deserved it.” She finished lamely, shuffling away without a look back.