aedandrakeheart

[aedandrakeheart]

[aedandrakeheart]

Punished By Fae

I had been out on a camping trip with my friends. Far enough to require tents and the like, but not so far we coudn't drive to a gas station (My buddy who had organized the whole affair was uncomfortable shitting in the woods). Not even 5 minutes after we arrive, snow starts falling. So, to keep everyone warm while we set up, a dug a pit about a foot deep and a few feet wide, and began building a fire. Appreciater of Prometheus as I am, starting a fire in the cold and snow was the easiest thing I would do all weekend. Pine needles for tinder, set under twigs, set under branches, set under fallen logs. After the first member of the group went to bed, I fed the fire no more, letting it burn down in it's own time and see everyone to bed. When morning came, all I needed to do was turn the coals over and throw more wood on top. That fire breathed to life once more.

I fancied myself something akin to a survivalist. And I think that's where I made a mistake. You see, one of the girls in the camp decided, in broad daylight, to walk out into the woods entirely nude. I waited a sensible few minutes, and then made a point to follow her.

I walked off in the direction I had last seen her walking in, and proceeded to amble my way about, enjoying the sunlight and the woods. I never found her. Disappointing, but not unexpected.... Now, this next bit is hard to explain in a meaningful way, but I will do my best. If the direction I had walked in was north, then I thought I had proceeded to walk east for a great deal of time, much longer than I had walked in any other direction in the forest. Then, at a random moment made by the determination that perhaps I should return to camp, I began walking the way I had come (West, such as we shall call it). This is where my trouble began. I walked, and walked, and walked, and did not find camp. And then something strange happened. I began crying. I was worried, yes, scared, a little... But I hadn't even been gone for half a day, a couple hours at most. What reason had I to worry? Nonetheless, tears streamed down my face, and a primal, lizard-brain fear of being lost in the woods overcame my senses. I do not know how much further I walked with my face wet and my heart about to explode, but all of that stopped as soon as I found a proper trail with a sign indicating the way back out.

If the man I saw was at all surprised about a gangly-20 something coming out of the woods with a black sword in hand, he didn't make it obvious. I asked him for directions back to the gas station, and he obliged quite amiably, confirming the signs had been correct. I then walked back down the dusty roads, out onto the frontage, and called my friends with my cell phone. I was picked up, and driven the all of 25 yards back to the campsite. My friends, sun-burned and blistered from having attempted to search for me, said I have been gone for more than two hours, that the girl I had chased after had come back to camp almost as soon as I had left, and wondered how I hadn't seen them on my way back out to the frontage road, posted up as they were.

I made my apologies, offered to help pay for any medical ointments or the like they needed, and tried my best to explain my story. They laughed or scolded, largely based on how bad their burns or how big their blisters. And I felt appropriately bad that they had made such an effort to find me, without proper protection...

I don't think they would have believed me if I told them what I thought. That I had wandered into the woods to chase after a naked lady, and The Fae took offense to that, so instead of finding the woman I saught, I was turned about, confused, and shown elsewhere... For you see, when I made the turn around to start heading back to camp, if I had walked another 30 feet, I would have seen camp. To this day, the path I walked does not make sense to me. But I know, for as long as I may live, I'll ask permission, before I go chasing women in the woods again.

[aedandrakeheart]

Reasons To Love Tentacle Monsters:

They give great hugs

With all the suckers, they can give you multiple forehead kisses at once

They always have a free appendage to hold your lighter or vape pen

Very Squishy

They can hold multiple controllers, so you can play 4 player games together

They're very helpful in the kitchen

[aedandrakeheart]

the fuck am I even writing

I know why people dream of paradise. I don't mean paradise as in a nice place to visit sometimes, but have to eventually return from because The Powers That Be bid you return to make good on your promises I don't even mean paradise as in a nice place to stay forever and maybe die here because you've never been happier and to hell with the consequences of staying I mean paradise. The place you stay because it's where you belong. To belong is not just to take comfort in the familiar, not just to close your eyes and run your hand along the stone, the grass, the wood panelling, and know precisely where you are standing because you understand these places better than your own mind; it is to stay, because where you live has a missing piece of itself if you are not there, or maybe you have a piece missing if you are not there. Valhalla, Heaven, Svarga, take your pick. Places you feel incomplete while you are not there... I dunno. moment of inspirational meloncholy ended.

[aedandrakeheart]

im a union fetishist because i like to strike my partner until they acquiesce to my demands

[aedandrakeheart]

man fuck this *exists against god’s will*

[aedandrakeheart]

@riverlinden

Respectfully, I want to love you in front of people who didn't. I want them to see how much you glow when you're treated right.

[aedandrakeheart]

trying to get up but this warm cozy blanket is making some good points

[aedandrakeheart]

You'd think the warning signs outside this cave would ward away all, but still there are few enough to dare my attention. Few enough who have heard of the monster within and hope to be ripped apart by it. Those few who seek a death that gives purpose to their anger. They hear the stories of the Thing In The Cave, and decide that if everyone else is scared of it, they will seek it out and ask it to kill them. After all, the village fears it, and the village hates them... And there is a certain symmetry to the idea. What better way to prove the village right, than to seek out the creature they tell bedtime horrors to children about? The people who come to my cave are not entirely aware of this fact, I think. I imagine they come to me for the same reason more people committed suicide by gas than by gun. It's out of their hand.

Unfortunately for you, wanderer, I have never killed anyone... And I do so hate being alone. I will not keep you here, but there are clean linen sheets and a soft bed if you desire to stay. There will be chicken, battered and fried, in the morning. You can decide what to do with yourself then. Until such time, why don't you tell me of why ignored the signs outside this cave, and why you came so far from home? The morning is a long, long time away, and I am eager to hear the voice of a stranger. It has been some time since I have heard a voice that didn't haunt these caverns. Oh, those skeletons in the corner? They belong to the ones before you. They sought the same thing you did. I don't think they found what they were looking for. Be smart, when the sun rises, find the road home. If you do not, I can only promise you will share in their fate if you stay beyond the morning...

You'll stay? Are you sure? You have a life yet, a future beyond these wet and hollow halls. A life you might hate, true, but a life nonetheless... Then you have made your choice.

Don't struggle, this will be easier for both of us if you don't. The skeletons? Oh. I lied.

[aedandrakeheart]

if you claim to be a monsterfucker and show me an anime girl with horns or a snake tail or something im stealing something out your house. get that sex lacroix outta here

[aedandrakeheart]

[aedandrakeheart]

everyones laughing at the princess at the executioner's block because shes rock hard. the executioner keeps on pretending to swing the blade to make her pant and moan isnt it disgusting lmaooo 🤭 yeah you can throw stuff if you want it's allowed

[aedandrakeheart]

honestly I hate “can you pet the dog?!?” not for any of the common reasons but because it was initially interesting as a proposition of “can you interact with the world in a way that is not within the primary mechanical loop” and that very quickly fell away to being “well now any indie developer making a game has to have a pet the dog button or they’re going to get letters”

[aedandrakeheart]

Mer vs Shroom

Never mess with master wizard of house Telvanni and their Mushroom Tower, ever.

fit my friend, @the-sunlit-earth's adorable Breton OC Brenna <3

[aedandrakeheart]

[aedandrakeheart]

in case you're wondering what the greatest AMV of all time is, it's this one from 2008.

[aedandrakeheart]

just learned that magnolias are so old that they’re pollinated by beetles because they existed before bees