adieinwonderland

[adieinwonderland]

i wish he would cut me. i want him to hold my wrist tenderly and slide the blade through my veins as he kisses my forehead and praises me for taking it so well. maybe he'd even wash and bandage them afterward and give me aftercare. i want to experience that intimacy of inflicting and receiving pain together. i want i want i want

[adieinwonderland]

Update-I’m going on another deep dive to punish myself for cutting again

Nobody’s going to believe me or probably even see this but screw it.

Nobody knows about what they did to me so I can’t be too mad, but the people that are still obsessing over Devon Erickson and Alec McKinney disgust me.

Even my own best friends are still obsessing and they know what they did to me.

Yeah sure they stabbed me, raped me, drugged me, beat the absolute shit out of me, groomed me, yknow the whole package but fluffy hair makes it ok right?

WRONG!!!

Even though most people don’t know about that part, they still know that they are SCHOOL SHOOTERS.

Seeing those edits and fanart makes me feel so sick it’s not even funny anymore.

And yeah sure I could’ve stopped the shooting but I didn’t. Do I hate myself for that? Yup, obviously. Have I started to forgive myself for that as well? Yup, finally.

I hate everything and just want to fucking die.

Their hands are still on me. I can feel them.

[adieinwonderland]

tw: highlands ranch shooting

There are some rumours going around that the unnamed shooter at highlands ranch school is a transman. In addition the first named shooter, Devon Erickson, has been noted to have said antichristian and lgbt supportive messages online.

Please don’t take any anger you have out on the lgbt community despite the possible connection to the shooters. Even if this does end up being true please remember that lgbt people across the world are mourning with you and even could be in risk of more threats right now due to this so please help to support and protect them at this time.

My heart goes out to the victims and their families in this time of struggle and fear.

[adieinwonderland]

Literally Devon Erickson is so ugly how the fuck are you 10 year old girls finding him attractive, if you touched him he would fall over and his hair looks crunchier than a Dorito, I literally cannot see it. Not only is he ugly as shit though, but he killed an innocent person. Kendrick Castillo does not deserve his killer to get more recognition than him. - Mod Alice

[adieinwonderland]

if these guys are just fighting against oppression

but this guy isn't and is a piece of shit according to you

YOU'RE RACIST. a filthy. racist white predator. a white transmasc's feelings doesn't matter more than a little brown boy's life, you asshole!! go back to europe with that shit!! he doesn't have to be trans to have value, leave poc alone and respect their lives! how dare you support poc getting killed on their own land by entitled white trans parasites, freak!!

[adieinwonderland]

Nobody’s going to believe me or probably even see this but screw it.

Nobody knows about what they did to me so I can’t be too mad, but the people that are still obsessing over Devon Erickson and Alec McKinney disgust me.

Even my own best friends are still obsessing and they know what they did to me.

Yeah sure they stabbed me, raped me, drugged me, beat the absolute shit out of me, groomed me, yknow the whole package but fluffy hair makes it ok right?

WRONG!!!

Even though most people don’t know about that part, they still know that they are SCHOOL SHOOTERS.

Seeing those edits and fanart makes me feel so sick it’s not even funny anymore.

And yeah sure I could’ve stopped the shooting but I didn’t. Do I hate myself for that? Yup, obviously. Have I started to forgive myself for that as well? Yup, finally.

I hate everything and just want to fucking die.

Their hands are still on me. I can feel them.

[adieinwonderland]

Lately I’ve been seeing

so many girls on here talk about how ‘romantic’ and 'edgy’ (they think) it is to have a boyfriend in prison, or to be emotionally/intimately involved with someone who is locked up, and it’s honestly killing me. prison destroys families, relationships, the hearts of children and mothers alike and it’s being romanticized on here. I’m all for girls sharing their experiences and creating a network of information and support, it’s personally helpful to me and I think it’s great! but this romanticizing and dramatic pining for a 'prison relationship’ has to stop. your hyped up infatuation is another person’s living nightmare