adammwhite

[adammwhite]

Apparently, yesterday was the 40th anniversary of Ian Curtis's death. As a result, the photo above (of him at work drinks) resurfaced. I love this photo because it gives lie to the widely-held view of the mythologised Ian Curtis - that he was some sort of serious, profound, tortured genius. Of course he had his problems, but from what I've read, he was a bit of a lad and enjoyed a laugh (of course, I've no idea what he was like, given that I was eight years old when he died).

It's funny because people like to (or seem to like to) view Curtis as a dour, po-faced monk. No one imagines him contributing to the whip-round for Helen in Accounting's birthday.

[adammwhite]

I Started Something I Couldn’t Finish

[this is old]

My first memory of London should have been my grandmother's flat on Sinclair Road. That would make this post work a lot better, tying up all the bits of memory into a neat package. As luck would have it, my first memory of London was a giant, neon John Courage sign ("Take Courage") viewed from back seat of a cab. That sign adorned the outside of a pub called the Hand and Flower, my family's destination that spring (or was it summer) night in 1979. So, after the sign and the inn it was bolted to, my grandmother's home is my third memory of London.

My mother's family immigrated to London in 1962, settling into a flat in a terraced house on Sinclair Road in West Kensington. My mother arrived a year later, for reasons I've never been entirely certain of. And for the next 47 or so years, someone from my family lived in that building (though not necessarily in the same flat...there was a bit of shuffling rooms over the years). For the most part, it was my nan. She stayed there after my grandad died in the 80s. My Uncle Jim moved back in with his mother after his divorce.

Two years ago, my grandmother died. It wasn't really a surprise - she'd had cancer a few years earlier, though it seemed that she'd beaten it. But she became ill again and it became increasingly clear that she wasn't going to make it this time. My mother came over to visit her and help Jim out when she was admitted to hospital. I'm still haunted by the image of my nan lying in a bed in Charing Cross Hospital, slowly wasting away, looking equal parts confused and embarassed about her state and appearance. It has to be one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever had to witness. But in Anne's defence, she was a much tougher bird than we figured. She continued to hold on, long enough for my mother to have to fly back to Florida. Sadly, she didn't quite make it back in time to see my grandmother again - she died the day before (possibly a few hours before) my mum arrived at Heathrow. The funeral was brutal. Seeing my mother as a grieving child was not a high point of my life. I'd never been to a funeral before and this one really, really hurt.

But as I choked back the tears and tried not to focus on the (tiny) casket, I found solace in my grief. I realised that I was actually happy to be able to be so sad. 

Perhaps I should explain. 

I'd lost grandparents before (my aforementioned grandfather as well as my father's mother). But I didn't really know them that well. In fact, I didn't really know any of my extended family that well. It probably had something to do with my mother leaving London for the USA and my father getting as far away from Buffalo, NY as he could at his earliest possible convenience. So, until I moved to London in January 2007, I'd only seen my grandmother a handful of times (the picture above was taken on one of the more recent occasions, when we visited in 2005).

Perhaps one of the biggest, least expected, bonuses of moving to London was finally having the opportunity to develop a relationship with my grandmother. Until then, I had no idea how funny she was. I had no idea that she and I shared some of the same neuroses. I had no idea that she genuinely cared about me and had been so closely monitoring my life from afar for over 30 years.

So it was a short time, but the time I got to spend getting to know and love my grandmother at the end of her long life ended up being an unexpected bonus. Had I not wound up in London in 2007, I'd not have attended her funeral or been really all that affected by it: I probably would've struggled to find something to say or pretend to feel when my mother called me to break the news. The grief was actually somewhat of a luxury -

[this is new]

That’s where the original draft of this post ended. I struggled to find how to make my point (something about how TfL had announced it was ending the regular District Line services to Kensington Olympia - the station at the bottom of my nan’s road - and it seemed that maybe a bit of my personal London was disappearing in front of my eyes).

I decided to revisit my blog the other day and found the first part of this post sitting in the “drafts” folder. In a strange (maybe cruel) bit of synchronicity, I did this about a week after hearing that my Uncle Jim had passed away.

Jim left London (and the UK) after Nan died. I think there were issues with the flat - it had passed through too many hands and the landlord was keen to renovate and raise the rent (West Kensington had changed a lot since the 1960s). 

So it was off to the west of Ireland for Jim. He settled in Ennis, Co. Clare and by all accounts enjoyed his final years. I first heard he was poorly about a month or two ago and when I learned of his death, it came immediately on the heels of me telling my wife I should fly out to Ireland to see him. I hadn’t been getting much information on his health, but reading between the lines it didn’t look very good.

When I got the news, it upset me. Perhaps not as much as learning about Nan - I didn’t know Jim as well as I knew her. He was a difficult character to get to know - rather stern and brusque. But he was ‘good craic’ as they say.

I don’t exactly know where I’m going with this - maybe I don’t really have a point so much as a desire to memorialise a couple of people who meant something to me. But just as I felt when I started this post (six?) years ago, I am now even more conscious of how the London of my youth* is practically gone forever. If it weren’t for my Aunt Christine hanging on in Chiswick, there would be nothing left.

That said, I have created a new London for myself over the past ten years. A London quite a bit further east, with my wife and son (and another on the way). And our two birds, of course. 

You can’t hold on to things forever - everything changes. Perhaps it’s worthwhile to try appreciating what those changes represent. Just as I had to learn that my grief was a luxury of sorts, maybe seeing the London of my family slowly slipping away can be a sign of how lucky I am to be here to see it happen. I don’t know. In any event, I miss my grandmother and I will miss Jim, too.

*If I can even call it that - “the London I learned about from my mother and had fleeting memories of from my brief visit in 1979” might be more accurate.

[adammwhite]

[adammwhite]

[adammwhite]

Scones mkII. Ignore the misshapen one on the bottom right.

[adammwhite]

at Broadgate Circle

[adammwhite]

Tried a Paul Hollywood bread recipe. A bit misshapen, but not too bad. (at Grosvenor Park Road)

[adammwhite]

at South Tottenham London Overground Station

[adammwhite]

[adammwhite]

at Walthamstow marshes

[adammwhite]

at Barbican London Underground Station

[adammwhite]

at Matchroom Stadium

[adammwhite]

at Wood Street Railway Station (WST)

[adammwhite]

James Bond.

Sky007 is back - I assume it is because they are now showing Skyfall for "free" on Sky Movies. This means pretty much back-to-back hot James Bond action which has allowed me to become reacquainted with most of the films. So here's my ranking of James Bond films in order of preference:

21. Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough and Die Another Day - I think I've made it through all four of these, but can't really remember which is which. They're all crap. Even with free Bond films on 24 hours a day, I'd rather watch just about anything than try to sit through these. So they're all tied for last place. I like Pierce Brosnan enough, but his Bond films are easily the worst in the franchise.

20. Licence to Kill - Not much better. But it is more entertaining than the Brosnan films. And it has that completely out-of-place song that plays during the closing credits. This movie foreshadows how poor the following films were going to be.

19. A View to a Kill - It's entertaining and it has Grace Jones. But Roger Moore looks like a walking corpse and it has the production values of Dynasty or Dallas. Not very inspiring. It says a lot when a movie can make exotic locations look utterly mundane.

18. The Living Daylights - I feel bad giving this one such a low ranking. It's not that bad, but it's not that good, either. And it loses points for having Joe Don Baker (Mitchell!) and for being another Bond filmed in ugly-vision. You'd be forgiven if you forgot you were watching a James Bond film and instead had stumbled across an episode of the A-Team or Simon and Simon or something. But I do like Timothy Dalton as James Bond and the film could've been a lot better.

17. Skyfall - Now this movie looks great. But the plot is muddled, the dialogue is stilted and cringeworthy at times and some of the acting is really poor. Plus, it's just waaaay too unbelievable - and that says a lot for a James Bond film. At least with some of the others, they're outlandish and fun. This just takes itself too seriously. Too bad Sam Mendes is directing the next one.

16. Never Say Never Again - This time it's Sean Connery's chance to look like a reanimated corpse. It's a 1980s version of Thunderball and it's not an official (i.e. EON) James Bond film. The story's decent, but the production seems better suited to the small screen. 

15. Octopussy - Maude Adams makes her return as a Bond girl. That's probably the highlight. Well, that and the alligator submarine. The plot can be a bit confusing - or maybe thin. But it has its moments and a bit of gritty Cold War drama.

14. The Man With the Golden Gun - I never quite figured out why Scaramanga even bothered with gun made of a pen, a cigarette lighter, cigarette case and cufflink. What's the point? Easy to smuggle? Surely there's got to be a better way. He has a nice hideout, though. Apparently the movie was "inspired" by the 70s energy crisis or something. The movie is almost literally a cross between a spy movie and Fantasy Island.

13. Quantum of Solace - It starts out as a revenge film (at least it's not a Tarantino revenge film) and then turns into a Bond film that should probably star Timothy Dalton. It's pretty forgettable, really. As I typed this, I started to wonder if I was ranking it higher because I've only seen it once and haven't tired of it yet. 

12. Live and Let Die - Poor Roger Moore. He had to be James Bond in the 70s and got stuck starring in the films that were clearly dreamed up to cash-in on box office trends (see Moonraker for further evidence). It's funny though, even if it's pretty damn racist. And the alligator prank is classic.

11. Diamonds are Forever - Sean Connery was just phoning this one in. The plot doesn't make a whole lot of sense and I think it might be offensive to homosexuals. Easily the worst Connery Bond film, though it's not all bad - it has Blofeld and for all its campiness, it's nowhere near as bad as the films that followed it. But surely there has to be a less-complicated way to smuggle diamonds.

10. For Your Eyes Only - Apparently it's a hodgepodge (or hotchpotch) of a couple different stories. This is the first Bond film I ever saw - so maybe that's why I like it as much as I do. It's a grittier, more 'realistic' Bond film that dispenses with the gadgetry (similar to 2006's Casino Royale). Moore plays this one well - he manages to find a nice balance between humour and danger. 

9. Goldfinger - I know this is the quintessential Bond film. It has just about everything. But it's also a bit boring. And the ending is such a letdown. Bond uses his manly charms to turn a lesbian and then a bunch of soldiers do a bit of play-acting. You would've thought the writers could manage to come up with a plot that matches the very impressive production. It definitely has its moments, though, and is pretty decent for the first 2/3 or so (if not more) of the film. This is the film where Connery really "got" the James Bond character. It's really the archetypal James Bond film. And it's also the first really gadgety film - and the gadgets are cool.

8. Thunderball - Better than the remake. If anything, it's hampered only by an excess of underwater "action". Too much scuba diving, perhaps, but it's beautifully shot. It even verges on believability - sort of.

7. Moonraker - God, this movie is stupid. And it really has nothing to do with the novel. But it's a lot of fun and it (apparently) was a special effects tour-de-force. It's full of action and really lowbrow comedy. But it works, somehow. Although easily the most outlandish Bond film (and while kind of recycling the basic plot of a couple other Bond films), it still manages to entertain.

6. The Spy Who Loved Me - The plot probably seems familiar. This is Moore's best film. It has just about all you'd need - exotic locations, super villains, Soviet agents and a car that turns into a submarine. 

5. You Only Live Twice - Austin Powers owes his career to this movie. I love it - even though Connery's attempt at "going native" in Japan will make you wince. I guess this movie just comes from a simpler time when racism was okay. The film is iconic, though, and Donald Pleasance is by far the best Blofeld. Apaprently Roald Dahl wrote the screenplay.

4. Casino Royale - Daniel Craig seems born to play James Bond. The movie (very) successfully resuscitates a dying franchise. As with For Your Eyes Only, the gadgets are minimal and the story is realistic (well…) and Bond is the most believable he's probably ever been. It manages to pay tribute to the films that came before while creating a new type of Bond at the same time.

3. From Russia With Love - It's hard not to love this film. Maybe the racist depiction of Gypsies and Turks is a reason - but otherwise it's pretty much perfect. It's probably the first "real" Bond film (in that it's more a spy film and less a detective film). It's still simpler and more direct than its successors though and it excels because of it. 

2. Dr. No - The first. Possibly the best. Bond is a spy, but the film is more a tense detective thriller than anything else. Yes, it has a super villain (who is supposed to be Chinese - if you can believe it; I also believe one of the Bond girls is supposed to be Chinese, too). No gadgets other than a geiger counter and a motorboat. Calypso soundtrack. 

1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service - I admit that George Lazenby is not the best Bond. But to me, this is easily the best Bond film. I often wish it had been Roger Moore's first film - he probably would've done the role justice. That said, Lazenby's Bond is somehow more human. He doesn't seem larger-than-life and rarely seems that cool. He falls in love and gets his heart broken. He fears for his life when Blofeld's henchmen are hunting him down in a picturesque Swiss village. The film perfectly blends the everyman Bond with the superman Bond of later films. The story is at once believable and totally outlandish. The film is probably the Bond film that sticks closest to its source material, which is something. And to top it off, it has the best Bond theme that technically isn't a Bond theme (We Have All the Time in the World by Louis Armstrong).

Maybe I'll rate my top 5 or 10 Bond themes one of these days.

[adammwhite]

at Beulah Road

[adammwhite]

Taken with Instagram at Walthamstow Village

[adammwhite]

Taken with Instagram at Barbican Underground Station