actualtirefire

[actualtirefire]

She had the spirit and fearlessness to be a Big Fucking Problem--right up until her recklessness made her mortality one hell of an achilleas heel. Not that she'd have too many regrets once she put herself to the endeavor. She was a bit of a double edged sword while Devang was not exactly that anymore.

[txt] that's a good idea. probably.

She was going to make more often proverbial drive-bys on Devang's house, though. Just wouldn't tell anyone that.

[txt] they are The Cutest

She could agree to that much right away.

[actualtirefire]

[txt] they are The Cutest

She could agree to that much right away.

"Fucking??? Okay???" She said that right out loud.

Took her a few deletions to finally send,

[txt] you need anything?

[actualtirefire]

"Fucking??? Okay???" She said that right out loud.

Took her a few deletions to finally send,

[txt] you need anything?

@sweetandsoursaws

That is largely the purpose of the text, yes. Everything is okay enough. [txt] I'll try to get you a visit with them before they get big

[txt] yeah, sure

A looooooong pause on Roka's part. Between being mildly oblivious in the moment. To being distracted and on an edible.

Wait. She stopped writing on a sheet of paper.

Waaaait.

Snatched the phone back up.

[txt] are those family???

Family was a wonky word, but that's how she thought about the poly-network on the downlow.

[actualtirefire]

@sweetandsoursaws

That is largely the purpose of the text, yes. Everything is okay enough. [txt] I'll try to get you a visit with them before they get big

[txt] yeah, sure

A looooooong pause on Roka's part. Between being mildly oblivious in the moment. To being distracted and on an edible.

Wait. She stopped writing on a sheet of paper.

Waaaait.

Snatched the phone back up.

[txt] are those family???

Family was a wonky word, but that's how she thought about the poly-network on the downlow.

[actualtirefire]

Once the kittens have gotten all their fur, Lark sends some photos over text. No context that they’re his yet, because the context is obviously a sore subject, something he’ll get into another day. For now, they’re tiny and cute, and can just be cats. A calico, a pale yellow tabby with a stubby tail, and an orange tabby and white.

What the fuck?? They're so cute, tho?

Hhh.

[txt] youuuuu im jelly

Lacking some context. Lark and Lake watched over fosters. For all she could tell it was a 'hey, everything's okay here's some cuties' thing.

[actualtirefire]

Writing was more difficult than she thought it was. She'd borrowed Rene's writing desk and was getting nowhere fast about it. Kept throwing out scraps of paper and walking away.

[actualtirefire]

Closet time, honestly. She'd built a little space in the bottom of it in their collective room for herself. They'd been patient about it. She wasn't sure if it was Viktor or Rene or both that kept it stocked with water bottles and snacks. Rene was absolutely the one that kept edibles stocked. Viktor was more of a 'keep things clean, tidy, and stocked' sort.

Typically, she left the door in cracked if she was okay with visitors and just needed the feeling of small and solitary. Today she closed it. They'd leave her alone.

She needed to sleep off some numbness that had caught hold of her. Numb despair.

Wasn't too hard to get down to a comfortable shirt and shorts then tuck away in the pillow and blankets there.

[actualtirefire]

"Only if you use a magical camera." Viktor told him while wandering away, still in talking range for the moment. "I haven't found one of those in an antique shop yet." Unlike his current camera. Rene got him a very fancy nice once for his day job, but this one wasn't it.

He got a distance down the street and took up a spot. He was easy to miss--like furniture--once he settled in somewhere.

Didn't come out of that state other than to adjust angles--skilled enough to not need to use the view finder most of the time. Just handling it in front of him.

An expressive snort burst out of him when the head went flying. Clicking a quick series of photos to look at later before he came jogging over and then down the road to go catch that head. He wasn't a big laugher, but he was amused!

He had long legs and good stamina so he caught up to the rolling head before long. Picking it up and walking back. "Almost kicked it like a football out of instinct." A dry joke to the head in arms.

Roka was on her way back with a truck this time. She had to drive slow for all the people walking around without a care in the world for traffic safety, but she was visible by headlights a little ways off.

Roka might've been more on the same wavelength some handful of years ago, honestly. Right now she in her 'idgaf fafo' era was all. And saved that kind of paranoia for 'work'.

"Yeah, alright. I'll go get Dolly here home. I got a couple small errands too. Then I'll make my way back 'round." She made sure everyone was on the same page while adjusting doggy in arms to set down and take with her on a very 'special' (lmao) walk.

Viktor hung back with his camera. Still somewhat shy in general while in public these days, but trying to be friendly. Ghosting a smirk. "I can hang around nearby and take some photos of the scares."

They'd be great for his albums and hobby work. Not to mention just plain funny.

[actualtirefire]

Roka might've been more on the same wavelength some handful of years ago, honestly. Right now she in her 'idgaf fafo' era was all. And saved that kind of paranoia for 'work'.

"Yeah, alright. I'll go get Dolly here home. I got a couple small errands too. Then I'll make my way back 'round." She made sure everyone was on the same page while adjusting doggy in arms to set down and take with her on a very 'special' (lmao) walk.

Viktor hung back with his camera. Still somewhat shy in general while in public these days, but trying to be friendly. Ghosting a smirk. "I can hang around nearby and take some photos of the scares."

They'd be great for his albums and hobby work. Not to mention just plain funny.

Roka nor Viktor were thinking up ways to fuck with him so--that's Hennesy's pet project alllll on his lonesome.

Roka nodded back, "That's the spirit." She hesitated. "Uh, I gotta take this dog back, but Vik knows the way. Or we can meet up back here in a couple hours and I'll come getcha." She offered.

[actualtirefire]

Roka nor Viktor were thinking up ways to fuck with him so--that's Hennesy's pet project alllll on his lonesome.

Roka nodded back, "That's the spirit." She hesitated. "Uh, I gotta take this dog back, but Vik knows the way. Or we can meet up back here in a couple hours and I'll come getcha." She offered.

Viktor was from a similar time and culture. Maybe even a worse one. Considered himself still a bad person for his participation. No matter the work he'd done to get where he was. Viktor, though, had the subconscious sense enough to make more space between them again. Even if he couldn't put a finger on exactly why.

"I don't think anyone would be worried about that." Roka said about Hennessy going off the farm. No one was going to nail him down or stake him in place like a typical scarecrow.

"Hah! No. Not yet. Unless you count ghosts walking around in bodies." She added to his little trauma dump there. "Look, I know it comes off weird when I make offers for places to stay, but if you're going to here for more than ten minutes--it's good to have a home base in new places. I know that better than most."

[actualtirefire]

You're pretty damn important to him. Even if it doesn't work out between you, I think he'd like to hear how you really feel with a level head before that decision is made.

"Sure hasn't seemed like it. Running off to be a demonic gladiator and removing his own fucking emotions. Not even a postcard. Think you're putting too much on him in that way." God, whatever. She didn't want to have that fight again right now. Could feel her heart starting to race this time and set her arms on her knees to put her chin down.

"Later. Not right now." She did still plan to write something. Just...not right now.

[actualtirefire]

Maybe in-person isn't the right way for you to communicate right now. There's more time to think about it in writing. Harder to get into shouting matches

Mouth pursed into a thin line and she begrudgingly agreed. Once the adrenaline had wore off and left her with shaky hands in her pockets while walking--she could kind of see her own flight or fight response running off with her soon as she was physically in the same room and a bit before.

But she'd had an easier time with texts in the past. Got a little angry still, but didn't feel like she had to go for any throats or like she needed to pack up and eject herself into another reality to get away. Easier to put it down and come back later. That sort of thing.

Ancillary doubt crept in, "Not sure he would even want to hear from me again. I don't know." Once home she sat down in some grass near the duck pond. "Maybe I'll write a letter. Even if I never send it." Seemed like the healthy thing to do. One way or another.

[actualtirefire]

Did you really mean all that?

Roka kicked a loose chunk of concrete that happened to cross her path on her way home. Struggled to answer for a bit.

"I don't know." She'd been...heated. Not her best mind for making good decisions. She wasn't known to make good choices to start with. "Some of it maybe."

[actualtirefire]

[txt] i mean yeah kinda

[txt] like what you see me round lookin like is human as i get and then there's like a

[txt] like a...idk upright humanoid tiger form. not really full tiger or kitty forms

@sweetandsoursaws

[txt] first my shirt off and next he’s gotta lube me up? I told him I shoulda had him buy me dinner first smh smh

[txt] fr fr

[txt] it's water based at least so it'll come out your fur im sure

[actualtirefire]

Roka didn't hear much beyond confirmation and a pity party she wanted no part of.

"I hope you figure it the fuck out without dragging me along like a ball on the chain you made." She snapped back over the same shoulder she dusted off after the shove past. He was, as always, the only one calling himself weak, pathetic, and pliable. Whatever the FUCK that meant. Like she was manipulating him? Into and out of their relationship? Get fucked. Eat shit. Die.

She flashed a double middle finger at the clinic and stormed off. She wouldn't be his cross to die on that's for fucking sure.

Roka's demeanor went from carefully pinned down to furious when Charlie got in here way. Hands balling into fists. Reason far out the window before she even got here, really. She'd just been lying to herself.

"Yes, I am." Beyond not ashamed of that right now. "You made a choice and I told you the consequences and you doubled down." Emphasis on the 'yous' with shoulder pokes. "Here those consequences are. You didn't make that deal for me or Devang or anyone else other than yourself. If that wasn't bad enough, YOU decided to devote all your time and energy into being Pride's fucking prized fighter poodle and nothing else. YOU DECIDED TO FEEL NOTHING AND MAKE IT MY FAULT AND THEN APOLOGIZE FOR DOING ALL OF THAT FOR YOURSELF! We fought about it al-damn-ready and I lost. Now what? You want to make it about how you're sorry? You. It's all about you! I didn't ask for you to go off and have a come to Jesus with Pride nor to say sorry. Anything else or can I fucking go now? Not that you could stop me either way."

[actualtirefire]

Roka's demeanor went from carefully pinned down to furious when Charlie got in here way. Hands balling into fists. Reason far out the window before she even got here, really. She'd just been lying to herself.

"Yes, I am." Beyond not ashamed of that right now. "You made a choice and I told you the consequences and you doubled down." Emphasis on the 'yous' with shoulder pokes. "Here those consequences are. You didn't make that deal for me or Devang or anyone else other than yourself. If that wasn't bad enough, YOU decided to devote all your time and energy into being Pride's fucking prized fighter poodle and nothing else. YOU DECIDED TO FEEL NOTHING AND MAKE IT MY FAULT AND THEN APOLOGIZE FOR DOING ALL OF THAT FOR YOURSELF! We fought about it al-damn-ready and I lost. Now what? You want to make it about how you're sorry? You. It's all about you! I didn't ask for you to go off and have a come to Jesus with Pride nor to say sorry. Anything else or can I fucking go now? Not that you could stop me either way."

Roka tried. She did. Made herself count in the background of trying to think about it rather than feel. Fidgeted a silent clicker toy in her pocket for several seconds. Looked at the ceiling. The floor.

Be calm. Have a calm response. Be reasonable. Be patient. Be kind.

"You're not sorry. You both got what you wanted. And it wasn't me." One hell of a critical fail. "Fuck the rest, right?" She didn't want to hear this bullshit. Didn't help that she wanted to be angry.

"Well, if that's all. Bye." She wasn't sure if that meant she was done or just done for now. She hadn't let herself really visit what she was feeling after the first fight they'd had on this whole situation.

She didn't want to hear anything else from him either. So she sharply about faced and shouldered her way back out into the alleyway beyond.

[actualtirefire]

[txt] o rly? animorphs parttttyyy

@sweetandsoursaws

[txt] first my shirt off and next he’s gotta lube me up? I told him I shoulda had him buy me dinner first smh smh

[txt] fr fr

[txt] it's water based at least so it'll come out your fur im sure