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i’m so glad earth only has one moon, if there were more i’d have to pick a favorite and that sounds too emotionally taxing to even fathom

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I’m sad we never got much insight into more of Marika and Radagons arguments or just them talking to eachother in general because I like to think every single one went almost exactly like this

Me and the guy in my brain that I hate

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so true

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good luck killing me ‘cause I’m already, already

dead inside

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interpretation: i dont think messmer is a golden order fundamentalist. to me, the order is more radagons thing. he worships his mothers erdtree more than the golden order, which is part of why the crucible is present within his ranks, since it is considered heretical in the current golden order.

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( <= green bean

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oh and, by the way, if you hear anyone saying any of that “your body my choice” bullshit? press sexual harassment charges.

“but it’s not a big deal” WRONG

“but he was only joking” WRONG. RAPE THREATS ARE NEVER JOKES

WE WILL NOT LET THAT SHIT SLIDE. EVER.

and if you don’t think the cops will help and you’re safe to deal with it on your own?

do it yourself. cuss him out. hurt him. do NOT let it slide.

FASCISTS AND RAPISTS DO NOT GET TO FEEL SAFE.

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for the character ask: Marika!

favorite thing about them

These are all of my own personal ideas, but

the gut wrenching tragedy of her. Her village destroyed, everyone she knew dead in a horrific way. And instead of laying down and giving in, she instead steals the divinity the Hornsent sought from them. She becomes a god, and sets out to build a world of order and of kindness. Things she believes the Hornsent lack. And once she has her armies, she returns the pain a thousand fold.

And then it all starts to go horribly wrong. Her revenge is too brutal. What sort of God of Order and Kindness would do such horrible things? So she erases her crimes and she abandons her first born son, the son who killed them all for her. The son that awaits her return until his dying breath.

Not all is horrible. She has godwyn. She has Godfrey. She has her means to escape, built upon the ashes of her daughter.

And then the crucible "blesses" her with twins, adorned with horns and wings She tries to love them, but they terrify her, they remind her. She has so much hatred and fear in her heart she can not love them. She abandons them, and the only kindness she can spare is a decree that Omens of royal birth are not excised of their horns.

And then she looses Godfrey. She has a new husband. One who throws himself into the Golden Order, a world she made that becomes more and more of a cage. The gods curse their children, and her world becomes smaller and smaller. Her own hatred and fear bleeds into her order, spreading to apply to anyone who is different. And the kindness of gold she envisioned becomes only a bitter memory.

All she has is Godwyn, and then, in one horrible night, she doesn't.

least favorite thing about them

She is, beyond any doubt, a monster. She has killed countless people, she abandoned her children, and no doubt has a very unhealthy co-dependency with Godwyn. I definatly think that in the end he was her only joy and that made her refuse to let him go, smothering him.

I can not excuse her actions (jokes of womens wrongs aside)

Her fans can also be super annoying, woobifying her to extreme degrees and saying shit like "the Hornsent deserved it", as if farmers deserved to be killed when the ones who actually did harm to her sit unbothered in the tower of shadow.

favorite line

Hear me, Demigods. My children beloved. Make of thyselves that which ye desire. Be it a Lord. Be it a God. But should ye fail to become aught at all, ye will be forsaken. Amounting only to sacrifices...

brOTP

Marika and Maliketh. He's quite litterally her brother from another mother (the fingers... or is it Meytr?) I imagine they were a terrifying duo, building the foundations of her empire.

OTP

Marika x Godfrey. I fully believe he was the only man she ever loved. And he loved her, to the point that there is dialogue where he declares the desire to hold her in his arms again. They are the power couple of power couples.

nOTP

I would not say this is a notp, but i really do not care about Rennala and Marika as a couple. There is no appeal to me what so ever. I don't hate it thought, but I just would rather them be with... You know.... The people they were originally married to.

Also I don't care that much about Marika/Radagon either. Like I know they have kids, but its kinda clear in japanese dialogue that she hates his guts. I don't think he liked her either. They were just married cause the Greater Will demanded it.

random headcanon

when she is nervous she will play with her braids.

unpopular opinion

She loved Mohg and Morgott but her hatred and trauma made her a terrible mother.... In fact that goes for all of her kids.

song i associate with them

favorite picture of them

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Marika with bags under her eyes: I've got it! The perfect plan of how to conquer Caria and finally have uncontested control of the Land's Between!

Godfrey picking his nose: Uh...what is it?

Marika wide-eyed and manic: I'm gonna get her pregnant!

Godfrey slowly turning to look at her directly: 🏳️‍🌈?

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𝐅*𝐜𝐤 𝐀𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐎𝐮𝐭, 𝐄𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Morgott - This is really the gist of your dynamic. You've fucked around so many times that Morgott was bound to snap. And snap he did. Time to find out, Tarnished. Next thing you know, you found yourself on the ground, looking up at the Omen's enraged face. And his angry, leaking dick. Oh. Oh. Need a little help there, Morgott? Guess he did, what with the way you're practically loving on it.

Mohg - You thought you were cute trying to fuck around but Mohg showed you he was cuter by making you find out. Too bad it comes with a side of orgasm denial and making you ride him ceaselessly as he reclines on his throne. Hah. Thought you did something there, didn't you?

Godrick - Fuck you, Godrick, okay? Just... fuck you. You don't know who's worse, you or him, but what you do know is that you tried him one too many times to the point that his multiple arms and hands practically rip your clothes off you and make you scream and beg for more. Bonus points for Godrick making you suck on two of his fingers to 'shut you up'. Not for long, you spineless bastard.

Godfrey - Um... lmao. Why would you even try him, love? He's a grappler at his core and you don't even try to wrestle yourself out of his grip. Your entire being goes slack when feel the telltale signs of his arousal press against you and by the Erdtree. No wonder Marika liked him so much...

Radahn - Well, you don't even finish fucking around before he has you suspended in the air, his tongue and fingers doing stuff to your body that you never thought possible. He told you he'd have you screaming his name. Don't know why you didn't believe him.

Radagon - He's soft-spoken as always. But there's an edge to his voice that makes you shudder, doubly so as he thrusts into you brutally. Ferally. The walls of your bedchamber reverberate with the sounds of his name. And all who has ears to hear knows Radagon has claimed his prize.

Varré - Varré is an ass so why not bother him? And so you do. And his response is to... not fuck you. Because that's what you weren't expecting. And so it turns into a game of cat-and-mouse and you're more than 1000% sure you two are going to hatefuck in the near near NEAR future.

Patches - In this scenario, it's the reverse. He fucks around because he wants to find out. He wants YOU to fuck HIM. He's glad you got the hint (finally) but did your epiphany have to happen while you're fucking him silly?

Godwyn - He's an adorable golden retriever that you never really took seriously until he fucking snapped. You didn't think the man was capable of fucking you senseless, did you? You were very pleased. And very satisfied. You also reveled in the love bites he blessed you with. And poor Godwyn is so flustered but you can't help but love the way his blush deepens when you flash him a lecherous grin. You'll have to do this often.

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level 1 fantasy author: what if you could fuck your clone lol?

miyazaki and grrm: your clone ceases to be an exact copy of you a second after it enters existence. the subjective nature of consciousness means that a different experience of reality is created. a unique history inevitably results in a different person with their own memory and desires. you and your clone would immediately be separated by the vast, lonely distances of individual consciousness. and even if you were to merge again, you would not find the comfort of yourself but the horror of being known by another. holding your hammer before the ring of life, the same strike would express contradictory yearnings for rebirth and stagnation

also miyazaki and grrm: just to be clear, in this scenario you're still fucking your clone, you're both getting divorces to do it, you're making clone babies, you're making your clone bark like a dog,

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Discussing Elden Ring Ships.

Part II: Godfrey x Radagon

So, Godfrey x Radagon... Oh how I love you and don't see enough of you.

Yes, I actually love this ship. Why? Well we're going to be figuring that out togethaaaa!

BL/MLM Honorary Mention

Alright, I'll admit it. I'm bisexual as hell. (Who would have thunk it?)

But I already gave the honorary lesbian mention to Rennala x Marika, so this is the honoray gay mention for these two kings.

2. Strange Dynamic

Now, we don't actually know a whole lot about how Radagon and Godfrey really are personality wise in game, so most of it will be just dreamed up in our brains. But, even if applied to the game and not just fanon, the dynamic would be weird.

Godfrey: You fucked my wife and took my throne!

Radagon: No. I am your wife!

I would pay real ass American dollars to see how that shit would play out.

Plus, incantation malewife and big beefy barbarian man just hits different. Radagon is a twink compared to Godfrey, you can not change my mind.

3. Sweet, Sweet Drama

Ah, hello again drama.

Yeah, so this has some major potential to spark some drama, yet again.

Godfrey confronting Radagon about how long he's known Marika before marrying her only for Radagon to stand there awkwardly with the, "I am your wife," card just waiting to be played.

Maybe a canon divergence fic where Godfrey actually makes it into the Erdtree and see Marika switch into Radagon and the pieces start falling together.

Oh my God, if Radagon and Godfrey got together, that would make Radahn Godfrey's actual son.

Let's just keep tangling the web that is the Elden Ring family tree, shall we?

4. Actual Fluff Material (Deadass)

Alright, hear me out... This could work as a comfort/fluff fic.

Maybe it's just Godfrey and Radagon cuddling. (Radagon being little spoon, obviously.)

Maybe Godfrey is gently braiding Radagon's hair.

Maybe they have a conversation about the family.

Serosh and one of Radagon's red wolves could meet eachother as well.

I don't know, but this could be really stinkin' cute and I want to cry thinking about it!

My conclusion

I don't have a solid conclusion here actually. Whoopsie. But I just know I love this ship.

That's all I got man. Malewife x Beefy Barbarian.

Bye ya'll!