ace-of-digiorno

[ace-of-digiorno]

olympic gold in hitting christian babies with a bat

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How to be a househusband and housewife together

There are many women out there who want to be a housewife. I, however, want to be a househusband. So, how is that going to work? You can't be a housewife and househusband together, right?

Wrong.

Here is my guide on how that is in fact possible and how to achieve it. Women, please listen up, because this is important to you when you marry me which I know you want to do.

Step 1) I become your househusband.

Step 2) You become my housewife.

Step 3) The bank takes the house.

Step 4) Can't be a househusband and a housewife without a house, right?

Step 5) Wrong. We pretend to move out, but actually we are just moving all of our stuff into the walls of the house, where we will live. Much like house gnomes.

Step 6) This can go on for years if we play it right, but eventually the family living there finds us.

Step 7) We get arrested on some trumped up charges like trespassing. We both know they are actually arresting us for daring to love.

Step 8) We go to prison.

Step 9) But what else is prison called?

Step 10) The jailHOUSE.

Step 11) We just can't stop winning.

Step 12) We get out of prison but have to reintegrate back into society.

Step 13) Where do we do that?

Step 14) The halfway HOUSE.

Step 15) We just can't stop winning.

Step 16) After we leave we have trouble finding stable employment due to our criminal record..

Step 17) So we become freelance DJs who play at clubs, restaurants, and parties.

Step 18) And what kind of music do we play?

Step 19) We just can't stop winning.

[ace-of-digiorno]

guy who scrolls through tf2 fanart and silently shakes his head in disapproval every time he sees a drawing of poor gun safety

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thinking about this again

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“I’ll just rest my eyes” is the biggest lie you’re going straight to snorkmimimi land

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local woman who claimed she will "cross that bridge when she comes to it" arrives at said bridge

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it actually takes 136 years to draw one line. so think about that next time you want to be mean to an artist

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Small joys on Tumblr:

When your notes make a perfect cat

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This person needs to be arrested im going to cry

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ever since i got access to american library cards thanks to tumblr user anneemay (pbuh) 2 weeks ago ive lost even the 3% sympathy i had for americans crying ofc we’re stupid and illiterate our schools suck!!! because you assholes have had FREE ACCESS to THOUSANDS of books and audiobooks and classic films this ENTIRE TIME you’ve been blaming your schools for your elected ignorance!!! from my home in India I’ve listened to eight audiobooks and watched half of cronenberg’s oevre and I’m watching nosferatu (1922) today and I can’t even go to a library in person and you people have had these things your entire life yet you come on tumblr at 18 19 20 and say you don’t know who james baldwin is and if you expect me to you’re classist and 18 year old Americans are too stupid to know bombing foreign countries kills people so it’s okay if they choose to do that rather than work at McDonald’s and of course I have no idea what stocks are or what colonialism is and MCU is the height of cinema and it’s feminist to wear makeup like. my god. you people are going to go through the rest of your life being incoherently stupid and it’s not because you’re poor and it’s not because your schools suck but its because you’re so ensconced in your American privilege that you will never be forced to confront the realities of life and you can go on living your Disney adult fantasies because you’ve destroyed your innate human curiosity and potential at the altar of hyper consumption.

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I CAN SAVE HIM

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so many of the "i only use chat gpt for ___" excuses are concerning because people use it in place of learning basic, valuable skills.

you don't need chat gpt to write professional sounding emails for you, there are many many guides on the internet and with a bit of practise you can learn to write them yourself. a very important skill for a professional to have, and some of the basic rules will carry over into irl conversations!

you don't need chat gpt to be a "more detailed search engine", because you're robbing yourself of the chance to learn how to find and filter information on the internet and evaluate the credibility of sources. which is a VITAL skill. plus, chat gpt is notorious for being wrong?

if you use it to write essays, you're taking away your ability to hone your research skills, your writing skills, your critical thinking skills. your ability to create persuasive arguments!

and for most of the other reasons people use chat gpt, there are non-ai websites for that! for maths, wolfram alpha. for figuring out what you can cook with the ingredients you have there's supercook and the like. for creating routines, there's about a million apps!

whatever you "only" use chatgpt for i promise there are better websites out there that you don't have to worry will produce complete bullshit???? and destroy the environment???

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it's borbin' time

(turtle dove) Ref photo by Frank Ebertus

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losercore girlcore sitting in her roomcore

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i will never forget in 2022 when i went to the same starbucks every day for like 4 months. and every day i ordered the same thing (grande iced matcha latte with oat milk). and every day it was the same barista and he was so rude to me every single time. and then one day i got in line and he immediately started making my matcha latte when he saw me and as i went to grab it off the counter, he stopped me and looked in my eyes and said "i'm sorry i'm such an asshole to you every day. this job sucks everyone is such a dick to me and youre the only regular who isnt so i take it out on you. and that probably wont change but im sorry anyway." and then the next time i went, he was rude as fuck to me again like nothing had ever happened. life is so strange.

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sick of problematic old man alcoholic characters. make that alcoholic a problematic WOMAN. stat!