accidental-child

[accidental-child]

when i was 9 i was banned from editing the muscovy duck wikipedia page because i kept editing any mention of the flavor of their meat to say things like “they taste like dirty dishwater” because i had pet muscovy ducks and couldn’t bear the thought of them being eaten, so i tried to run a smear campaign on duck meat

[accidental-child]

happy it sucks saturday

[accidental-child]

i think it's cute when americans talk about being from the 'great state of connecticut' or like 'the great state of wisconsin.' not when it's texas or new york or california obviously because then there's the fear that they're being serious. but when americans adopt that really earnest tone and are like 'god bless the great state of delaware' in response to a picture of a seagull swallowing an entire ziplock bag full of cheese-its. I think that's very endearing

[accidental-child]

Oh fuck you. If you live in a suburb or anything not a big city no one really cares if you go in and take a piss but in major cities its mission impossible to find somewhere 2 piss for free.

And then you wonder why people just piss and shit in the street.

[accidental-child]

[accidental-child]

made a small (SMALL) pot of coffee but did it on auto pilot and used the usual amount of scoops (enough for a full pot) (pot is family sized) and the concoction I've brought into existance can no longer be considered coffee. it is dark enough to show Narcissus his reflection. Boss music pours from the spout. four shots of adrenaline housed in the confines of an 8oz mug. my Palpitation Potion, if you will. if this beast takes me out know I died by no means but my own hubris like god intended.

[accidental-child]

he can’t stop being bad

[accidental-child]

I've found out about emoji kitchen and everyone will suffer as a result!

[accidental-child]

my mom warned me about these kinds of internet users

[accidental-child]

every time i call my mutuals by name im like god what if that was just some random person's name in their description. christ

[accidental-child]

Just playing some Balatro to pass the time on the road

[accidental-child]

baby chain catshark hasn't learned how to swim yet

[accidental-child]

CEO zoom meeting

[accidental-child]

[accidental-child]

in 2019 i saw someone call her butch

[accidental-child]

my proposed dunmeshi alignment chart

[accidental-child]

she was so real for that