acbloom - Tumblr blog

[acbloom]

“I think it’s important to realize you can miss something, but not want it back.”

— Paulo Coelho

[acbloom]

Short Story pt.2

sorry, there's no title for this lmao.

Carolina steps out into the cool air, well, more like stumbles, but Damon easily steadies her by grabbing her arm and standing her upright. She giggles, then hiccups again. Damon starts to think that maybe he shouldn't be asking her to leave with him while in this state.

"Let's grab some food, and water, definitely water." He says. Carolina looks embarrassed but agrees to go get food. They walk hand in hand, for Carolina's sake, across the street and around the corner where a pizza shop is. Damon sits Carolina down at a table outside and goes to order them a pizza. While Damon is inside the shop, Carolina fishes her phone out and does her best to text Mia that she's okay and probably won't need a ride home. She sets her phone down on the table and closes her eyes, savoring the smell of the pizza in the cool midnight breeze. When she opens them, Damon is sitting in front of her, observing her carefully.

"What?" Carolina blatantly asks.

"You just have super nice posture, it's interesting," he replies, shrugging. He folds his arms behind his head and slouches back into his seat.

"I used to be a ballerina, maybe that's it?" Carolina suggests. She smiles at the compliment though. "Tell me about yourself, Damon." Damon raises his eyebrows and inhales deeply, thinking of what he could tell her. She's still drunk enough to probably forget anything says for the next thirty minutes. Or at least until the pizza kicks in.

"Well, my full name is Damon Kreed," He ventures.

"Damon Kreed," Carolina says, trying it out on her tongue. She likes it. "How old are you Damon Kreed?" Damon shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He acknowledged that he was going to an 18+ club, meaning everything would be legal, but as a 26-year-old, he didn't want to accidentally hit on an eighteen-year-old. Or in this case, buy her a drink and take her out to dinner.

"How old are you, Carolina..." He asks, redirecting the question.

"Carolina Kazimieras -" she hiccups, "- and I'm 21." The server comes out then, placing the pizzas silently on the table, then retreats back into the shop.

"I'm twenty-six, miss Kazimieras," Damon replies while releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Carolina raises a slice of pizza as if it were a glass of champagne and then takes a big bite out of it. They eat in silence for a bit, and Damon can immediately see Carolina's demeanor change. The buzz is wearing off, and it's wearing off fast. She looks uneasy. "You feeling alright?" Damon asks, after finishing his last slice. Carolina looks up at him briefly, then back down at her own empty plate. A small smile is playing on her lips.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I don't normally do this. I mean, go out. Not that I'm assuming we're on a date or anything-" she's tripping over her words and finally slumps back into her seat, giving up.

"Believe it or not, I don't either. But I thought after seeing a girl like you, why not." Damon replies smoothly. Carolina starts to feel her stomach heat up again, in such an uncomfortably pleasant way that it makes her shiver. "Are you cold?" Damon asks immediately, his eyebrows furrowing.

"No, no I'm fine," Carolina says reassuringly. She feels her sober-state courage coming to the surface, so she decides to take advantage of it before it slips away. "I do, however, would like to get into something more comfortable...?" Damon ears perk up at that, and he slowly lifts his gaze up to look into Carolina's eyes. They stay locked on his, confident.

"You can come to my place, it's just down the street? Plus, I'd like to change into something more comfortable too." Damon says, gesturing to his unbuttoned polo and black slacks. Carolina stands up, tugging her skirt down in a very normal way, but it's extremely sexy to Damon and he stands up rather abruptly, wanting to get to his apartment as soon as possible. Carolina eyes him curiously but follows him down the street anyways.

***

Carolina cautiously steps into Damons apartment and immediately likes what she sees. It's dark and atmospheric, with soft, warm lighting accenting the living room and kitchen, which consists of a black marble island. It looks like a New York flat, and not the small city apartment that it is. His couch is situated to face the small fireplace that Damon is currently lighting, but other than the sofa and a few standing lamps, there isn't much else.

"Quite the bachelor pad you've got here," Carolina compliments. She turns around and sees the entire back wall covered in hundreds of books. Even if he hasn't read them all, Carolina thought it was one of the most attractive things she's seen in a guy's house.

"Thank you, I do quite like it myself." He says proudly, chuckling softly at the same time. "Make yourself comfortable," Damon gestures to the couch, so that's where Carolina finds herself to be. She kicked off her shoes at the doorway, and now she was sitting with her legs folded to the side of her, enjoying the warmth coming from the fireplace. Damon comes back and places a small cup of coffee in Carolina's hand. She smiles up at him as he takes a seat next to her.

Damon's large body makes the couch sink in and Carolina ever so slightly leans into him. She still has to look up to make eye contact with him, but it doesn't bother her. Nor Damon. Without thinking, Damon slowly starts to lower his face toward Carolina. She doesn't know what to do, so she just stays still and lets her eyes close naturally. His lips meet hers softly, slowly. They stay like that for a few seconds, then Damon pulls away, a smile on his lips. Carolina didn't know a simple kiss like that could make her feel so good. Her head feels fuzzy.

"Sorry, you just looked so pretty," Damon whispers. Carolina sets her coffee down on the side table and situates herself so she's kneeling on the couch facing Damon.

"Do I still look pretty...?" she asks, wanting him so desperately to kiss her again. A slow smirk spreads across Damon's face, his heartbeat quickening in his chest.

"Beautiful."

[acbloom]

Short Story pt. 1!

Carolina was perfectly content in her corner with her gin and tonic hanging loosely in her grasp. She leaned heavily against the wall, observing the dancing crowd in the club. They all looked as though they were moving in slow motion, as if they were in Jello. The music was pounding and vibrating through the wall, making Carolinas spine tingle, and question maybe she’s had too much to drink.

She takes a lazy sip of her drink and scans the room for her friend Mia. Even though Mia is significantly taller than anyone at this club, and is wearing an obnoxiously bright neon dress, Carolina can’t seem to find her friend. She takes out her phone to text Mia, but the letters start swimming around on the screen each time she goes to type. She shoves the phone back in her purse and goes to look on foot.

She squeezes through the grinding bodies on the dance floor, random sweat being flung on her body with each step she takes. Once in the middle of the floor, Carolina reaches up on her tip toes to scan the crowd. She spins around hoping to find Mia, but instead meets the intense stare of a man. They hold eye contact as Caroline struggles to keep her balance.

The fluorescent lighting moves smoothly across this man face, highlighting his strong facial features and flirtatious smile. Carolina gulps nervously, not liking the warm feeling she’s getting in her stomach. She watches the man start his way towards her and her heart starts to rapidly beat in her chest. Not today. Not when she’s six drinks down and can barely type a message on her phone. Carolina spins around on her heel and shoves her way through the crowd to escape to the bathroom

She looks over her shoulder for a split second and sees the man still following her. His eyebrows furrowed with confusion on her escaping him. She quickens her pace and eventually makes it to the bathroom, flinging herself through the door. Its warm and sticky in the bathroom, and there’s a rattling sound coming from one of the stalls. Carolina peaks her head around the corner of the wall and see’s Mia’s high heels and purse outside of the stall. She goes to retrieve them, not knowing where Mia could be, but realizes all too late that Mia is in fact in that stall with a random guy. The rattling of the door is coming from the two of them, and it only seems to be getting louder.

Carolina scrunches her face up in disgust and backs out the bathroom directly into someone big and muscular. She turns around to face the man who had been following her to the bathroom. He practically towers over her, his large frame blocking her way out of the corner she’s in. Carolina would have been afraid if she had been in this situation outside of the club and if the man didn’t look so genuinely kind, but her stomach still knots up with unease under his stare.

“How come you ran away?” The man asks. He smiles kindly at Carolina but his eyes say otherwise. He looks her up and down, then slowly drags his eyes back up to hers. Carolina hiccups, her mouth suddenly dry.

“I had to um, use the bathroom.” She says, chuckling uncomfortably. The man raises his eyebrows then takes a sip of his drink. He offers her his other hand and she hesitantly places her own in his. He could probably crush it if he wanted too.

“I’m Damon,” he says over the music.

“Carolina,” she replies. She hiccups again, wishing that Mia wasn’t in the bathroom getting railed so that they could leave. At the same time though, she liked the feeling of her hand in Damon’s.

“Do you dance?”

“Only when I’m alone,” Carolina replies. She peers around Damon’s shoulder and looks at all the flailing bodies. She cringes and turns her focus back on Damon. He’s nodding his head slowly, thinking.

“Want a drink?” Damon asks, still not letting go of her hand. Carolina can tell he’s trying, and even though she shouldn’t, she nods her head yes and let’s Damon lead her to the bar. They sit down on the only two available stools and Damon orders himself the same drink and a different one for Carolina. The buzz had for sure wore off, but everything still feels slow to her. She liked the feeling though, especially now that she was sitting with Damon. Both the drinks come out and Damon hands Carolina her drink. She doesn’t know what it is, but she takes it anyway and takes a sip. It’s good. Better then her six gin and tonics.

Damon can tell and he smirks at her as he takes a sip of his own drink. He watches Carolina intently, her oddly perfect posture doesn’t seem to match her demeanor, but he likes it nonetheless. Her slender legs are crossed at the ankle and her arm sits limply on her lap as she sips her drinks. She has a short, mini light pink dress on, and her light brown her is loosely braided. Its definitely not a clubbing fit, but Damon loves it.

“Do you go clubbing often?” He asks, knowing full well she doesn’t. She takes another gulp of her drink, hiccups, then responds.

“Does it look like I do?” She asks, laughing. “My friend Mia does every week, and this time she dragged me along.”

“Where is this friend of yours?”

“In the bathroom, getting railed.” She says it so causally that it makes Damon laugh. Carolina shoots him a small smile and continues to bop along to the music. Damon swiftly finishes his drink and stands up. He offers Carolina his hand again and she takes it right away.

“Let’s get out of here,” he says. Carolina, now quite buzzed again, gives in to her temptation and willingly follows him out the club.

[acbloom]

Her name was Sunny, which was fitting because her demeanor was just that; bright and warm. Her hair resembled the sun rays you see behind broken clouds, so bright it looks white. Her skin was tan and splattered with amber freckles, matching the amber flecks floating in her green eyes. Dark eyelashes and dark eyebrows made her soft round face stand out, and her pink flushed glow emphasized her sparkling white teeth. Sunny was the epitome of a flawless person. If only they knew what was underneath her appearance.

Storm clouds wrestled and billowed inside her. Lightening constantly striking her in the heart, icy rain flooding her veins, fog smothered her brain. She struggled to stay afloat in her turmoil. Her coveted eyelashes often caught buckets of tears, her perfect, dark skin that was hidden by worthless clothes were covered in scars; white like the lightening inside her.

Sunny had no one to talk to. No one to trust. No one who would believe such a beautiful and smart girl would dare to have problems. Only once the storm died out and her sunny demeanor faded away, did people realize she would never get the rainbow she so desperately deserved.

[acbloom]

Melting Candles

Their love was like a candle, burning and bright when purposefully lit. It would burn hours upon hours, forgotten, until the flame eventually sizzled out, drowning in its own hot wax. Other times, it would be lit, burn for a beautiful hour, then be violently blown out and left cold for months to come. Then came the time when it was difficult reaching the wick, and you had to work to light the candle, and by then, it would only burn for a minute before the candle officially burned itself out. All that was left was an empty jar, a memory of where a flame used to glow.

[acbloom]

Its okay to miss someone even if it was your decision to leave them. It’s okay to still love them even if they stopped loving you. It means that what you had was real.

[acbloom]

Hard Truth right there...

“If you’re struggling and your people are just sitting there watching you struggle, they’re not your people.”

— Unknown

[acbloom]

Encouragement

If you're feeling unmotivated and discouraged, go to your favorite coffee shop, buy your favorite drink, and take some deep breaths. Pull out your computer or book or work, set a timer for twenty minutes, and then work until that timer goes off. Take a break, then repeat. You can do this.

[acbloom]

Never get to the point in a relationship where one partner questions the love of the other.

[acbloom]

Relationships

Relationships are, or should be, very similar to school. What I mean by this, is that you can never stop trying. You can never stop trying, never stop studying, and never stop learning. When you get an A on a paper, you don't pat yourself on the back and forget the rest of the semester. No, you study and continue to learn so that the following paper also gets an A. It may have taken you months, maybe even years, to find the person you now call yours, but it doesn't end there. You must put in the work to get the results you want. Otherwise, it's all for nothing.

[acbloom]

Twisted Love

All she wanted was love from one person, the person whom she loved the most. Love often plays out that way; unfair. Onesided. Yes, the feeling was mutual, there was love between the two, but only one person loved fully and completely, and knew, most importantly, how to love the other. She served him, prioritized him, and appreciated him. He simply just felt the mutual love between the two and thought that was enough. That, as any heartbroken person would know, is never enough. And no matter how hard you fought for the love to be equivalent, it always fell short. You, once again, are heartbroken and disappointed, and the other person continues to question what went wrong. Never learning that love is personal, singular. Something that needed to be practiced. It needed to be heard, shown, and felt. That person will continue to be the heartbreaker until he becomes the heartbroken.

[acbloom]

I feel like the feeling of wanting to die is similar to breaking a bone. You can't remember how bad it hurts until it happens again. You don't realize how much it tolls on you until you no longer eat, rarely get out of bed, and very little makes you smile. You feel completely empty, void of any emotions or feelings. The tears that so desperately want to come out are blocked by the casing of numbness in your body. Not the numbness you feel when your foot or arm falls asleep, no, the kind of numbness that is dark and heavy and pushes on your chest, making it that much harder to breathe.

It's almost like your subconscious becomes Death, and it accompanies you everywhere you go, whispering the most wretched and lachrymal things in your ear when you're just trying to do the bare minimum. It becomes a tug-a-war between Death and numbness, neither one more comforting than the other, yet only one being non-consequential. And so you fight. You fight until the day comes when Death's voice is quieter than normal, getting out of bed is becoming easier and easier, and food looks appetizing again. The smile of your friends becomes contagious once more, and the numbness eventually melts away, like ice on a hot day.

[acbloom]

Lovely Scars

Something I have resonated with and was inspired to write about <3

Warnings: mention of SH and scars. Mushy love story lol

Background: main character is female, partner is male, relationship of 2+ years.

He traces the raised scars on my hip as we lay in bed together. His head is buried between my neck and shoulder, my hair falling over his face, and I can tell he is close to falling asleep. His breathing is becoming slower and heavier, and his fingers tracing the ever-so-slightly sensitive scars on my skin are barely moving now. I pull him in closer to me, releasing a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Seconds later, I hear soft snores escape from his lips. Lips that had just an hour earlier been on mine, desperately and passionately kissing me.

His kissing had traveled from my lips to my neck, where he unknowingly left reminders of our time together, which then traveled to my collarbone, and then ultimately down to my chest. The scars covering my chest, while not raised like the ones on my hip, are still prominent to the eye, and have always made me feel somewhat self-conscious. With him though, never. He paused to look up at me, love swimming in his eyes, and without breaking eye contact, kissed my scattered scars slowly. One hand had held the back of my neck firmly, the other one on my waist. Eventually, his eyes closed and he continued his way down to my hips, where he planted soft kisses down my leg. At that moment, I had never felt more loved and accepted by anyone else in my life.

This man beside me has seen me at my lowest. He has seen me after crying for hours straight, eyes swollen and puffy, face red and blotchy, and the only look on his face was love. He has seen me at my moodiest, where I can barely get through a single conversation without rolling my eyes, and he would look at me with love. He has stopped me on multiple accounts of harming myself, seeing me so completely lost and broken, and he would hold me against him and look at me with love. Nothing but love.

The first time he saw my scars, he kept his face void of any emotion. He knew how nervous I was, not only physically bare and vulnerable in front of him, but emotionally as well. We had stood face to face like this for a minute, silence coating the room as he slowly observed my broken body. Eventually, he made his way up to my face where he locked eyes with me, and gave me a soft smile.

"You, my love, are beautiful and perfectly created. I would never change a thing." He had whispered to me, breaking the heavy silence. He stepped in closer and wiped the tears spilling down my cheeks. His hands found mine, limp at my side, and he pulled them around his neck. He wrapped one of his own arms around my waist and the other one found its place on my shoulder. His hand lovingly held my face. His thumb stroked my cheek, and I couldn't help but smile in his embrace.

"Every scar-" his hand shifted from my face to my arm, where his thumb made contact with one of my oldest marks. He brushed it gently. "-makes you who you are." He found another one and gently touched that one as well, never once breaking eye contact with me. "Every scar is a memory of how far you have come, and of all the things you HAVE overcome." He quickly planted a kiss on my forehead and then lead me to my bed where we both had laid down, side by side. His hand intertwined with mine and he turned his head to look at me. His mouth was close to my ear, so he only had to whisper for me to hear him.

"Each scar-" his warm breath sent shivers down my body, "is lovely." He took a deep breath and continued. "They don't make you who you are, but they add to who you are. And what they add is loveliness, and strength, and beauty, and imperfect perfectness." I had soaked in every single word he said, and locked it away in my heart where it would remain until my last day.

I can feel him shift in my grasp, and I relax my hold on him, letting him adjust himself into a more comfortable position. A content groan escapes his lips and I smile, my heart full and warm. I close my eyes and let myself fall asleep, safe, loved, and accepted.

[acbloom]

First Post?

Hey guys, this is my first post :) I'm just going to write down some things about me and my hobbies.

. I'm 18yrs old.

.Currently a freshman in college with a psychology degree.

.I have a cat named Thomas but I call him Tommy. He's the loml

.Hobbies: Cooking and drinking coffee (that's a hobby you can't tell me otherwise,) reading and writing (obviously,) and I enjoy staying active!