abzulios - Tumblr blog

[abzulios]

everyone STOP having steady 9-5s and start being able to hang out with me at 2 am on a wednesday

[abzulios]

Las Vegas CES (1993)

Source: Youtube/The Computer Chronicles

[abzulios]

[abzulios]

Space graphics

[abzulios]

if somebody expresses distress at seeing bigotry/facing harassment/etc. and your immediate spoken response is a "sounds like you need better mutuals"/"SO glad i've never seen this, what kind of circles are you in OP??" i do think that OP should be allowed to come to your house and beat you bare-handed

[abzulios]

i can't help seeing the concept of "coming back wrong" as reflective of the aftermath of attempted (and unsuccessful) suicide. whether you gratefully accepted death at the end, or you struggled in terror in your final moments and wished you could somehow twist out of the way of your oncoming fate, the choice to die was taken from you. you failed to achieve the inevitable. how wrong must you be, to be unable to even die properly? how horrifying - and how utterly infuriating - would it be, to have everyone around you expressing gratitude or disgust at your resurrection, while you cannot even begin to articulate the depths of your own conviction that death, the inexorable maw itself, must have decided there was something just not right about you, and spat you out?

[abzulios]

PENIS BLAST PENIS BLAST PENIS BLAST FULL BLAST AHEAD PENIS BLAST PENIS BLAST PENIS BLAST

[abzulios]

*gets down on one knee* I want to make a shared oc universe with you

[abzulios]

halos are fun but tbh realistically i think that saints would just have heads burning up with holy fire from the inside out. they'd be uncomfortable to look at, not only because they burn so bright and billow with smoke and flame, but because of the abjectly contradictory, miraculously terrible nature of it. headless but whole. dead yet alive.

[abzulios]

if you're interested in experiencing the most undignified way of having a bad time ever devised, then look no further than having a body

[abzulios]

Just a remind you dont have to suffer 24/7 to be struggling or valid, you're allowed to have moments where you feel okay or even happy, it doesn't mean you aren't struggling, you're still just as valid

[abzulios]

Is: being a heavily co-con blurry system where you rarely feel switches but still find random shit moved or out of "systems normal routine" around the house and being absolutely clueless at which moment someone took executive control just for such random shit.

.

[abzulios]

Syscutlrue is trying to organize SP to make it comprehensive and more palatable to our autism but it ends up looking more messy somehow

On top of that we feel fake for using SP at all, let alone 'glamorize' it and make it look like a roleplay site

We use it and make it fancy because it helps us cope with existing

Making it pretty to us let's us feel like we have something that's actually just ours and it's kinda nice

It does make us feel fake sometimes but it also really helps

[abzulios]

[text ID: "This innerworld is fucking massive and vivid and full of all kinds of shit."]

Like or Reblog if you save or use!!!

[abzulios]

You're allowed to cut people out of your life, set boundaries, and protect yourself.

It is not a crime to want safety.

[This is partially a reminder to the rest of our system]

-Negative [X/Xself , She/Her]

[abzulios]

Life is too short to gaf what other people think wear whatever you want bro

[abzulios]

this isn’t really endo related but we really wish that joining system related discords wasn’t so fucking scary. they either have too many people for us to feel comfortable or they have weird rules or a mile long blacklist or they’re pro endo or they’re primarily made up of 14 year old. like can we have a syscord for people who go outside maybe? for systems who aren’t literally children? like some of these motherfuckers still have a bedtime and while i wish the best for them i do not want to speak to them!

sorry for rambling. we are tired and the thoughts aren’t coming together in a way that will go in to words

oh, yeah. I'm really sorry that discord is such a sucky place, but we get it. It's scary because you never really know what to expect, it's always either children, weird rules (e.g; "*insert "problematic" source* introjects don't use faceclaims as pfp"), or really long blacklists (usually with actual names on the blacklist). Syscord sucks and we honestly can't stand it there. We wish there were better syscord servers.