abysskisser

[abysskisser]

This is how a womb looks when a pregnant woman laughs

[abysskisser]

my little cousin confidently declared that mother nature had a counterpart named daddy electric and i feel like this concept needs to be explored

[abysskisser]

As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.

[abysskisser]

[abysskisser]

[abysskisser]

I get so excited when I hear someone naturally say "squoze" as the past tense for "squeeze".

i'm sorry but language-wise we gotta start moving things along. English has been around for 15 centuries and still barely scrapes a couple hundred irregular verbs. for starters i propose the past form of "slice" should be "sloce"

[abysskisser]

people who don't wear glasses are so weird like you just wake up and your eyes are pussy fresh??

[abysskisser]

MAYBE YOU CANT LOVE NATURE FOR ITS INHERENTLY PREDATORY NATURE BECAUSE YOU ROMANTICIZE PASSIVE ENJOYMENT OF A PASSIVE NATURAL WORLD.

I AM BEING HUNTED BY WOLVES.

I CALL THAT ACTIVE PARTICIPATION IN THE ENVIRONMENT AND I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE.

[abysskisser]

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

[abysskisser]

Reading Dracula. When does she show up?

[abysskisser]

do you all see my vision here

[abysskisser]

it's healthy for academics to have professional feuds. enrichment activity

[abysskisser]

there used to be so many stars in the sky that you would have to scrape away a dozen of them that splattered on your windshield every time you drove somewhere, but now they're being over-hunted to make american flag merchandise. very sad

[abysskisser]

not normie enough to fit in but not fringe enough to lean into being a freak, worst of both worlds, pure liminality, just the weird coworker, and unrelatable classmate. and your mutual

[abysskisser]

I love how Gideon refers to the teens with every negative adjective she can think of, despite them being like 4 years younger than her

[abysskisser]

i deal so incredibly well with change!!! my natural reaction to it is just so positive!!!! i really take it in stride!!! i don't even give myself migraines and gastrointestinal issues and night terrors!!!!