absynthhh

[absynthhh]

i feel so lonely :(

[absynthhh]

i don’t know if i’m ever going to find closure. i can’t put my pain into words, i just know that when i think of you or see your face it hurts a lot. i miss you, more than i remembered you. i don’t know what to do on my days off anymore.

[absynthhh]

why do yicks look so diseased and sickly looking?

are they really the chosen ones when they’re that ghastly?

[absynthhh]

well……

at least were in love.

[absynthhh]

dear god pls get rid of my cockroach infestation

[absynthhh]

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[absynthhh]

via @swatercolor [insta]

[absynthhh]

its fucked up to say this but one of the things my ED makes me fantasize about is my mom holding me as she cries over how thin and frail her daughter has gotten. sometimes i just miss her touch.

[absynthhh]

guess who just managed to get their hands on ozempic! 🥴🥴🥴

[absynthhh]

"Would you peel an orange for me?"

I would peel a pomegranate for you.

[absynthhh]

i wish i had friends. im so lonely and sad. i really wish i had girl friends to spend time with and do things together. i wish i could make connections but im awkward and really introverted. i feel like idk how to socialize. its so hard finding new ppl when the only public places u go to is school and work. i dont do clubs or stuff like that i hate loud places and music and crowded areas i get really overwhelmed and get anxiety. the only friend i made in the past 5 years moved to a different state. and my best friend is states ways. i dont like nor talk to any of my coworkers besides a japanese woman twice my age, but she has a boyfriend and a family.

i tried a friendship finder app but all the girls are educated, well polished, have well established careers, and wouldn’t even look at me twice. theres no chance.

:((((

[absynthhh]

[absynthhh]

"Loneliness is when you sit on a bench for four hours but no one knows you're there."

A. "Urielle"

[absynthhh]

i cry a lot when your not around

[absynthhh]

“I want you under me. On your back.

I'm sorry. You deserve more respect than that. But I can't stop thinking of it. Your arms and leg's around me. Your mouth, open for my kisses. I need too much of you. A lifetime of nights spent between your thighs wouldn't be enough.

I want to talk with you forever. I remember every word you've ever said to me.

If only I could visit you as a foreigner goes into a new country, learn the language of you, wander past all borders into every private and secret place, I would stay forever. I would become a citizen of you.”

— Lisa Kleypas, A Wallflower Christmas

[absynthhh]

i miss you more than my words can explain. i miss watching you walk through the front door, the biggest smile on your face, i miss your laugh, i miss the jokes and stories you tell, i miss when i would see your car pull around up front at school and i use to run to the fence and yell “theres my papa!”, i miss when you would play pranks, i miss when you would get in the pool with us, i miss driving you to publix and help you grocery shop, i miss being with u. i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you. your just the sweetest most gentle soul. thank u for everything u did, your the greatest man to ever walk in my life. i love you so much. i wish i could just have one day with you. i wish it was 2010 and im helping u and grandma decorate the house and christmas tree. i wish i could see u papa. :((((

[absynthhh]

praying i get a new job with a hefty raise that doesnt make me want to end it all.🧎‍♀️ god have mercy on me