absurdjester

[absurdjester]

Pov you're Mary Morstan and you wanted to take a look at your husband's writing in The Strand only to find shit like "he had a delicate touch" "his long legs" (approximately 700 times) "his lithe frame" "the fire in his eyes" about the best friend he's been seeing a suspicious amount and that he drops everything he's doing for everytime he vaguely suggests at an adventure

[absurdjester]

[absurdjester]

oh yeah well what if trains entering tunnels didn’t symbolise sex, in fact what if sex symbolised railway engineering, how about that huh

[absurdjester]

NEW FISH JUST DROPPED

[absurdjester]

@elodieunderglass horrible things with legs

(source)

[absurdjester]

obsessed w/ this stock photo of a gambler placing their wedding ring on top of a bunch of casino chips

i’m just…i’m trying to imagine a scenario where a casino would ever conceivably accept RANDOM JEWELRY as valid currency, they don’t even let you place cash on the tables

[absurdjester]

SO

STORYTIME

Everyone always talks about how the pilot starts on Halloween right? Like it's obvious Sam and Jess and friends are celebrating Halloween. And then Dean shows up early the next morning and they're gone, only to return on the 2nd when Jess dies right?

This has always bothered me and Im about to tell you why that's WRONG.

"But E, Jess dies on the 2nd. It's in the show." I KNOW JUST HEAR ME OUT DON'T POST THE PIC OF HER HEADSTONE SHH

I did research.

BANG BANG BANGITY BANG

According to this calendar, Halloween 2005 is on a Monday. Thus the 2nd is that Wednesday. HOWEVER Sam argues "I have to be back Monday" which the next Monday isn't even until the 7th.

THUS LAWBOY HAS A WHOLE WEEK

"But E, a hunt can take several days and Sam knows this."

And to that I say RIGHT

IF we go off the vibes of the pilot, its Halloween, then the early hours of the 1st when Dean shows, meaning they solve the mystery of the woman in white IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS so Sam can be back sometime on the evening of the 2nd

Those boys are good but they aint that good

PLUS we see in the pilot the passage of multiple days and nights (and logistically you add up the car ride, and the night on the bridge, and then finding the hotel, and interrogating, and getting arrested, and getting held hostage by a ghost another night, and then the drive back... Like it adds up FAST and definitely a lot longer than it is made to seem)

WHICH BRINGS ME BACK TO MY FINDINGS HERE

I propose that yes, the pilot starts on Monday October 31st. We can all agree on that. (See red square)

I THEN propose Dean actually shows up the early morning of the 2nd AND NOT the 1st because Sam and Jess are clearly sober and not half drunk as if they weren't just throwing back shots a couple hours ago. (See green box) NOTE: WE WILL COME BACK TO THIS

Sam says he has to be back Monday November 7th thus Dean whatever you about to drag your brother on it cannot be too long of an adventure.

This then gives our boys about 2, maaaaaaybe 3 days at the most on this hunt, which does make sense timeline wise. (See blue boxes)

And thus concluding that Sam returns that weekend on either the 5th or the 6th

BUT WAIT

E

DID YOU JUST SAY...

THE 5TH??? OF NOVEMBER???

yes.

yes i did.

do with that information what you will.

REMEMBER THAT NOTE I TOLD YOU WE'D COME BACK TO???

It has been said that Jess was dead the moment Sam left that apartment to go with Dean. Thus if Dean showed up on the 2nd, and the boys left on the 2nd, we don't know what happened afterwards. Jess could have been killed on the 2nd and then left on the ceiling for DAYS until Sam came home and the rest of the plan fell into place. Maybe the demon was hanging around the apartment, staging things, manipulating Sam, who knows. But let's say Jess died on the 2nd after the boys left, the coroner would have noted that when they examined her body THEREFORE BAM that's how Jess died on the 2nd and Sam didn't know about it until he returned home that following weekend and found her.

"But E, we don't know FOR SURE that it was actually Halloween night. Maybe everyone was celebrating a couple days leading up to Halloween and Sam really did come back home on the 2nd."

*sigh*

Okay. Devil's advocate.

Let's say they're partying the weekend before Halloween, thus allowing all the timeline to play out and make sense for Sam to come back on the 2nd.

Halloween is a Monday.

Sam has to be back on Monday.

The 2nd is a Wednesday.

If the pilot happens BEFORE Halloween and Sam's meeting is ON MONDAY aka Halloween, and he returns ON THE 2ND aka Wednesday...

He's hella late for his meeting

No law school for Sammy

I rest my case.

[absurdjester]

nobody tears through library books quite as fast as a 12 yr old girl with no friends

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[absurdjester]

Text from this post

[absurdjester]

slowly approaching bear

[absurdjester]

hung out with my young cousin today and she showed me "soul bug school" which is the gap between her toy chest and the wall where she secretly puts every dead bug she finds in the house

[absurdjester]

i know that “EW” is the actual acronym used for “extinct in the wild” but it’s really funny to imagine that this thumbnail is shaming this poor tiger

[absurdjester]

so that one deleted scene....

[absurdjester]

"cant believe youd make this about your current interest" i will make the birds in the sky and the grass in the fields about my thing. for free. i will look at gods ineffable creation with a mind filled with images and thoughts of my guys.

[absurdjester]

sorry, i haven’t been paying attention to the downfall of tiktok,,, i lost track of time and accidentally watched the Defunctland Animatronics video on loop a totally normal amount of times

[absurdjester]

day 6 / ???