- f/29/bi/oddity. - [I used to have a long, daunting list of all my disorder-diagnosis'. But succinctly: Anxiety, Depression, Autism]. [I'm vegan; I love dogs like nothing else in this world; driving makes me happy; I'm a vivid dream-walker nightly; empathy defines me; and I really love the colour blue]. [Weirdness is rad, and bravery is my thing. I have a hero complex. A little too addicted to benzo's as well]. [Got just the right amount of curious & cocky to shield off my demons and make friends with the scary things. Best survival tip to offer: be open. see the trio of beauty/ humour/ tragedy in everything]. [Currently, my subconscious life is a lot more involved than my physical life. Psychotherapy anchors me. Books keep me company]. P.s. Be Audacious as Fuck.
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Lament for a lost land: Journal of an Ordinary Grief - Mahmoud Darwish
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My Frankie-baby has crossed over the rainbow bridge today. Ten precious years we had. I love you so much good girl, there is a dog-shaped void here now but your suffering is over and that's all I could ever want. Go play❤️
#vent#love#dog#rainbow bridge#my heart#puppy#pets#my best friend#death#i miss you already#i love you#goodbye#good dogs#adopt dont shop#rescue#shelter animals#thank you#snoot boop
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A lot of people, especially adults, are put off trying things out of fear of failing. Learning to accept and even enjoy being bad at things can often be the first step in a new passion.
For what it’s worth, I wasn’t one of those people who picked up a bow and was a natural from the start. I had overly mobile elbows, and my dominant eye and hand don’t match up. But that lack of expectation meant that I was able to do it the way I enjoyed it, without worrying about scores or results. And over time, enjoyment turned into passion, and I like to think I’ve developed some amount of skill.
But even if I was terrible at it, I’d still be doing this, because I love it!
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Wahei workshop, Bear Netsuke, 19th century
earthenware
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I've been so brave this whole month with challenging myself extremely out of my comfort zone.
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Yesterday I screamed at the top of my lungs, in a room full of people, for a sacred rage workshop. I have always been petrified to do this - my entire life having been taught to suppress and hide any visible show of anger. Vocalisation was 'forbidden'. So the thought of full-body wild piercing screaming... unfathomable. But I did it. Over and over and over and over. I conquered my own fucking voice, was hugged by strangers who trusted me to witness them vulnerably do the same, and today my throat is utterly raw.
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I've held and caressed strangers in conscious touch workshops. Let them hold and caress me. Said yes, said no, explored intimacy, let myself be put on the spot and asked to speak uncomfortable truths, reached deep and loudly growled out the most gutteral wolf sounds, followed prompts to walk through groups of people countless times and risk rejection on each approach, stayed in my seat during events when I wanted to run away from the discomfort, trusted I was strong enough to know my boundaries while facing fears.
Damn I'm proud.
Still processing. Feeling.
#boundaries#workshops#touch#sensuality#intimacy#conscious#scream#screaming#anger#rage#therapy#vent#mental health#brave#courage#experimenting#feelings#processing#proud of myself#trying#self expression#pain#strangers#humans#rejection#risk#love#strong#anxiety#wolf
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