absentialucis

[absentialucis]

mikethompson​:

Mike turned the pager over in his hands, fascinated. It wasn’t unlike the one he’d had back in high school and it didn’t look any worse for the wear, either. It wasn’t really a surprise that this wasn’t a LARP, but the real answer for why this woman seemed so out of touch with present day very nearly made him drop the pager. “Whoa, you’re a time traveler? That’s a sick power,” he informed her, visibly impressed. “What brings you here to 2021? Doing a little research on your future?” He guessed, not sure why else someone would come to present day when they could hang out at any point in time. “Also, dinosaurs - feathers or no? I heard someone say they’re basically big chickens and probably had feathers, but I’m not sure if I’m sold.”

Mattie’s heart was racing as she watched the man’s face as she gave in and told him exactly who she was. It wasn’t every day that you were on an island full of demigods, stuck in a future you didn’t understand or had no way of getting out of. “Researching the future would be great but I didn’t choose to come here exactly. Honestly, I was never able to travel this far forward. Past? Sure, I’ve seen dinosaurs and all that jazz. The future always seemed so uncertain that I think my powers couldn’t pinpoint it. Though, I might not have been able to because I wasn’t advanced enough yet. Does any of this make sense?” Mattie sounded like a looney toon and she was aware of that right now. “Feathers. Science was right, they’re kinda like giant birds. Giant scary birds. Like geese!”

[absentialucis]

sorceress-samantha​:

“That’s true, but I didn’t say a spirit, did I? I said imaginary.” Sam replied with a tap on her nose, the smile never falling from her lips. She paused for a moment to think about who was on the island when Lysander mentioned Odessa, and then shook her head. “No, I don’t think I know her, but I’m sure I will do if she comes to town. I’ll keep an eye out for any shifty looking red-heads who give off bad vibes.” Perhaps this woman would appear, and perhaps not - it would all depend if she wanted to go through what the others were with Fink, Sam supposed. “Remi’s here, yeah. In jail, but she’s here.” A short snort left her lips. “Perhaps she deserves a few days behind bars for that, how dare she hurt precious little you.” The brunette rolled her eyes, teasing her brother; it was going to be fun having him here on the island. “Sadly not, although that would be quite an aesthetic. No, it’s just cute little restaurant with Greek food, none of your soul food around here unfortunately. Get used to Moussaka and halloumi, dear brother.”

Lysander was happy to know at least this sibling didn’t seem to hate him. That was a step in the right direction. He missed having a sibling to rely on and not spend their day trying to throw him into traffic with their magic. Maybe he should have stayed with Evander. At least Evander enjoyed having him around but it seemed Sam might as well. “Well that won’t do. It is time for a jail break. To be fair, Remi didn’t kidnap me. We refer back to the redhaired one with a bad attitude. You’ll know her when you see her. Acts fake bubbly and practically shouts about Nyx from the rooftops at any possible moment. Who knew she couldn’t take a light jest at her expense.” Yeah, getting thrown into purgatory was partially his fault but Odessa had taken what was supposed to be banter a little too seriously. At least purgatory hadn’t been awful for him. He always had Noreen and Daniel there with him. “I think those are words you just made up.” Lysander teased her as they began to walk towards said restaurant. “So, my dear sister who thought I was an imaginary friend, tell me all the drama happening on the island. I like being amused by other’s chaos. I’m sure that’s a sentiment you can agree with.”

[absentialucis]

larkfox​:

Siblings were a confusing, nebulous concept to Lark, so she just nodded. “Makes sense. Is it annoying now, though? You still basically live in the same place.” Searching Lina’s expression for sarcasm, Lark frowned. She felt seen and understood, but she also didn’t feel the same as she had being together. “You’re… right. Like one hundred percent right. I don’t know why it takes someone they know dying for people care about something that I’ve been telling them all along. But this is one of the most important things. I’m at least glad people showed up for when it counts.” Lark was not very good at choosing her words carefully when she was so emotionally compromised. But she was making an effort. Apparently words mattered to people. “Not really. I’m sure she wants me to apologize first, and I can’t take her smugness right now. Before I got… awful- You don’t have to answer this, I’d understand if you walked away, but I’ve just never had the chance- Did you ever think that we’d last?” She localized the sound more than usual so that it was intensely private and wouldn’t carry- just in case. She’d been wanting to ask for ages, but it had been the argument topic, after all.

“I love Vivienne, don’t get me wrong. She’s been my sister for most of my life but the constant comparison with us didn’t do us any favors to foster a loving relationship.” Lina might not have the same views of lifestyle as her sister but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to be there when she was grieving the loss of someone that Lina knew she had loved for a good portion of her life. That didn’t mean that Lina didn’t want to find and punish the people who were making Viv feel the way that she did about the world right now. “Hopefully this is the first step towards change. I know people are hoping it is. The only way things can happen is if the isle works together to stop corruption. Whether it be at a government level or with the gods. They best and worst thing they did for themselves was make so many of us. Banding together we have numbers on them that they can’t even dream about. Plus, given they always have to have to be better than each other think of how many of us are powerful enough to make a difference. Think of the powers Zeus gave his own children. One can create storms to overcharge the others. Not smart planning for a war that they’ll be on the opposing side.” Why Lina was so interested in this escaped her. She always loved the idea that things could change if given the right ammunition. Plus, corruption was one of the things she hated more than anything in his world. That’s why her job was what it was, to go in and stop in by getting to the heart of a human. The turn of the conversation made Lina pause and she took a moment to look over Lark and really think about the answer. “I loved you enough to try,” Lina finally admitted, a small smile on her face. “I think if we both would have put in the effort to talk through our problems, yeah, we could have lasted. We both were also so young and at the end of the day running away from conflict is easier than dealing with feelings.”

[absentialucis]

oceanic-finn​:

“They weren’t lost without me though.” Finn shrugged, knowing that even though his siblings had missed him, it would have been much different if it was the other way around. He would have gone just as mental if one of them had been taken as he had been with Briar, they were much more rational and could keep their emotions at bay. “They were fine. I just needed to make sure you were.” He murmured softly, his lips touching her forehead before he pressed a kiss to it softly. His lips had moved whilst they were talking to capture hers in a short kiss, and the broad smile that had taken over his entire face wouldn’t be one that would be dropping any time soon. “Mhm, no..” He replied softly, peppering a short line of kisses from her lip along her jaw, and gently down her neck. “Would it help if I admitted to you that I’m madly in love with you too?” 

The turn of events that this conversation took surprised Briar. The last thing she expected to do when she arrived at his place today was telling him that she loved him. Briar was not one to admit to having feelings with someone. It never ended well for her, admitting when she cared about someone, let alone when she admitted to being in love with someone. The only hope she had was how big the smile on Finn’s face. It made her feel like she wasn’t putting herself out there just to be hurt in the end. Then he spoke and Briar felt as though her entire body was tingling as they sunk into her. “It would help a lot if it were true,” she finally spoke aloud and moved to kiss him fully on the lips. “So we’re in love, it seems.” It was too hard to deny the teasing.

[absentialucis]

justxjuliette​:

“I’m proud of you Warren! I mean, perhaps having a baby at your age wasn’t the best idea but I bet both of you are fantastic parents, and you’ve stuck around to help as well. You’ve always been a good egg.” Jules’ eyes flickered down to the baby in his arms once again as Warren asked if she wanted to hold him, and she nodded quickly. “Yes, please! I’d love to hold my little nephew.” She moved slightly closer, so that he could be moved into her arms slowly and gently. “You know what dad’s like - he obviously wanted me to be shocked by the fact I’d missed out on your having a baby, and not tell me before I saw you. He was surprised to see me honestly, but he’s happy I’m out.”

“I know you’ve been gone for a while but I am twenty-six years old. I’m not exactly a child anymore and yeah, I might not be the luckiest of mom’s kids but ya know, I don’t think it’s terrible that I have a child.” Not that he minded her opinion too much. Everyone seemed to have the same one when it came up that he was now a father. Sam had the same reaction when he slipped up before Oliver was born. Carefully handing his son to his sister, Warren couldn’t help but grin at the sight. His sister, who he didn’t think he’d see again anytime soon, holding his son. Juliette was one of the people that Warren held in the highest regards and he didn’t realize how upset he had been at the idea that his sister wouldn’t meet his child. He didn’t have to worry about it now. “He is rather dramatic, our dear old dad. He has been relentless on pictures of Oliver since he was born.”

[absentialucis]

theowtf​:

Theo was the kind of person who loved animals, but in small doses… and small sizes. He had never owned a dog, especially one with as much energy as his cousin’s. “Bernadette took her. I figured Anya would prefer her dog to be alive and her house not to be trashed when she got back.” He was barely able to take care of himself sometimes. So, a dog being entirely dependent on him didn’t bode well. “Now that’s an idea. We would never run out of material. Do you think their mom is still cranking out the kids?” Theo posed, although he was afraid to know the answer. “Oh yeah. Millie is Thompson adjacent, then Mira is full-blooded Thompson. I’m outnumbered, Dex.”

“Kali still hates you that much?” Dexter asked, trying not to laugh at the idea. While Theo was not the biggest fan of the pup, Dexter loved the pooch. He loved all animals though so that wasn’t surprising to anyone. At least Bernadette took the dog in so Theo didn’t end up at his wits end and Anya could be reunited with her when she returned. “You’re Thompson-adjacent yourself. You’re related to two with the crazy blood. Next you’ll tell me that you’re secretly a Thompson child yourself. I don’t think I could handle that plot twist.”

[absentialucis]

allegra-keele​:

You work in the Africa section, so don’t you try that one on me. Allie reprimanded him through her text message, before then they started to move in the direction of the zoo, the blonde in front of him with a skip in her step - she loved baby animals. You have to let me come and see the elephants whenever I want for the next two weeks, which means you’ll be seeing a lot of me! Deal?

Okay, yeah she had him there. He had been hoping she hadn’t remembered that part of it all. It wasn’t as if he had meant to forget to tell her. It had slipped his mind considering everything else that had been fluttering around in there recently. “I can allow that. Plus you’ll be the first one I send pictures to when the baby comes. Though it’s going to be a while before that happens.” Allie was too excited for Dexter not to do something to help out. “You act as if I mind seeing you,” he teased her. They had been friends for so long it was never a bad idea to see Allie roaming around the place. “How have you been? Other than keeping tabs on the elephants better than I am?”

[absentialucis]

myhearthealing​:

closed starter for @absentialucis​

The last time Ezra saw Dexter, he left the man’s house with a lot of questions. What was Dexter going to say the next time he saw him? Maybe things have changed so much that he wants to take everything he said back. And Ezra would understand. He knew he was being stupid, but his brain was saying stupid things to him and had been all week, and so he transported himself to Dexter’s doorstep and knocked before he could talk himself out of it. When the door opened, his heart fluttered in a way that was new to him. Ezra could assume what that feeling was, but he didn’t want to put the term to it if he was wrong. “Hey,” he greeted, smiling softly. “I was wondering if you would want to take a walk with me.”

Dexter hadn’t been doing much since everything with the Nyx children had been put on hold. Most of his time had been spent between work and the weekly hangout sessions he had with Zoey since she returned home after being abroad for work. He had tried not to spend time dwelling on what the hell happened during the ‘goodbye’ he had with Ezra. His feelings made sense to him but the other man had completely thrown him through a loop and he wasn’t sure what was happening. The thoughts that were plaguing him likely wouldn’t be resolved for a while. He was just finishing up baking some premade cookies when the knock on the door startled him and Dexter made his way to answer it. Surprise colored his face as he tilted his head at the man before him. “Uh, yeah of course. One moment,” his words jumbled together as he gave him a smile and made his way into the house to grab shoes and a jacket. Once he stepped outside the door and shut it behind him, Dexter gestured for him to move first. There was a lot they had to talk about. “How have you been holding up?” Dexter couldn’t help but ask as they began to walk.

[absentialucis]

luciferpens​:

Raye shook her head, “You know you’re the best sister-in-law ever right?” she asked as she grabbed her fork and her items before returning to her seat. “It’s close enough to get the general idea” she shrugged, “Enough so that people who haven’t seen the actual musical will have a general idea of what sort of characters they’re auditioning for.” she stuck her fork into her food and took a bite. “But yeah, I think I will go with Hairspray, it’s fun, energetic and there’s a decent amount of characters we can use.” she popped the food in her mouth trying not to giggle as she watched Gianna laugh. “Hey, I’ll take anyone I can get, for any part of it.” she chuckled after she swallowed. “Levi! I would love to rope him into this. I can bribe him with food if it will help get him interested in doing it.” She had at least 14 named character roles and anyone else would be background dancers or part of Dynamites or student body.

Gianna didn’t know the first thing about musicals. The closest she ever got to being part of a production was building and painting sets. Art had always been her passion so when she was in school it was the first thing she signed up for when it came to extracurriculars. Now that her sister-in-law owned the theater in town she had a feeling she would be doing a lot of set painting. “We could find a bootleg online, right? Maybe watch it with some of the people who may do the production and haven’t seen the actual musical?” Gianna suggested knowing stage productions were wildly different from the movies that were made to mimic them. “It wouldn’t be hard to convince him. He’s a great performer, it's just not what he does for a living.” Gianna might have been one of the few that knew the extent of Levi’s talents and probably pretty biased about it. She just knew how great he was and wanted him to believe in himself. “But I’m here to help behind the scenes as much as you need from me.”

[absentialucis]

luciferpens​:

Jasmine just rubbed her temples letting out a long sigh before running a hand through her hair and looking up towards the ceiling. She couldn’t help but grumble under her breath at the idea of it being okay to be angry. She knew it was but she didn’t feel like she had the right to be so upset. “I  – yeah I guess so.” she muttered chewing on her bottom lip. “I guess, I feel like I did, or should have processed my anger ages ago? Yet for some reason I’m mad about it all again.” Jasmine’s brain felt like mush when it came to Luna and her situation – but the exact opposite at the thought of Gianna’s. She could not be happier for her friend finally getting with Levi and being happy. Or she assumed happy. “Puppy play dates will come. That I’m sure of.” she nodded, “I’m just really happy for you Gigi. That ya’ll figured that out. I’m glad – he’s not viewing it that way anymore?”  she asked, though she assumed that he must not if they were back together, it didn’t hurt to make sure. “I always liked you two.” 

Gianna hated that Jasmine was so conflicted about what was happening with Luna. It wasn’t her fault that she was angry with her all over again. “It doesn’t always process right away. She did a lot to hurt you and is only recently coming to you to explain what happened. I’d be surprised if you hadn’t been angry with her.” While Gianna was naturally a happy person, she always was known for her short fuse when it came to anger. It was one of the perks from being the god of war’s child. So she was the first to jump to quick anger but Jasmine was not. “I’m just saying even if you don’t want to be angry you need to process the feelings first.” Thinking of Levi was definitely Gianna’s favorite way to spend her time and she was happy to hear Jasmine was excited for her. She didn’t want to be that person who might have been toxic in a relationship and never realize it. Not that Gianna thought Levi could ever be a toxic individual. She was more worried about herself in that regard. “No, he immediately apologized for saying it. I didn’t blame him though, the circumstances were not ideal. I did take off on him after we had sex on what was supposed to be an adorable date. The only reason I did so was because I was afraid of hurting him again.” Now that they were back together Gianna was going to focus on being honest with him more. “I’m glad you’re happy for me. I’m always worried I get too excited about things and don’t see things clearly.”

[absentialucis]

icarialex​:

As soon as Gianna’s excited tone reached his ears, Levi knew to place his cup of tea on the side table beside him. He’d learned early on that carrying anything while his girlfriend was as happy as she sounded would only lead to messes on the floor. He was proven right when he quickly made sure to wrap his arms around Gianna to catch her and make sure she didn’t wind up on the floor. The carpenter should really thank her for helping him improve his reflexes. A kiss from the woman still managed to make him smile, but instead of initiating more, he turned his attention to listening to whatever news Gianna was obviously dying to share. “Right now,” he asked teasingly as he pretended to think about the whole thing. They both knew he would give in and give her anything she wanted, but toying with Gianna was just too much fun. “Then I guess we’re going to have to go to the pet store and grab toys, a bed, blanket, food, treats, and a whole bunch else I’m forgetting for the little pup, huh?”

Gianna knew that Levi was teasing her immediately and she didn’t mind it. When push came to shove, Levi would indulge whatever whim that she had. It was hard to believe that they had been broken up for nearly two years and were just getting back together. How had she ever been able to leave him behind? The answer would be lost on her for the rest of her life but that didn’t matter as long as he was around. “He is such a cute puppy, I think you’re going to love him. I nearly brought him home with me but logic said I should get your approval first! Plus, he’s going to be giant and I cannot wait for the biggest puppy ever.” She was radiating happiness as she kept her arms secured around Levi’s neck. Only after squeezing him one more time, Gianna let her legs touch the ground and she began to bounce up and down watching him. “Can we go now? Do you have anything going on right now?” If he did she would only pout a little bit. 

[absentialucis]

nikhilvara​:

Nikhil had essentially been meditating by the seaside. He didn’t call it that, but there was something extraordinarily peaceful about looking out to the water and seeing nothing that could really hurt him. Okay, yes, sometimes he was shaken out of his happy place by unusual intrusive thoughts- Sea monsters might be lurking beneath the depths. The mermaids seemed to be on the right side of harmless, but Nikhil had not been there to see what came through when the mythical creatures had landed on the isle.  Or maybe something worse had been there all along. But no, happy place… water… good. He had been trying to get back into a good frame of mind when he heard someone’s voice. Having not noticed someone approaching, Nikhil masked his shock. “oh. Hullo. No, I don’t mind at all.” Not wanting to be too much of a waste of space, he scooted over on the bench so that there would doubtlessly be enough space for two. The last thing he wanted would be to take up someone else’s space. It was only after moving that Nikhil noticed the cane. Well, that was probably not a weapon, was all that came to mind. “Long day? That’s why I’m here.” Every day felt a little too long.

Taking a seat next to the man, Benji allowed himself to relax as he sat his cane to lean next to him. The sea was always so calming to the Poseidon son, feeling like home when he felt lost to the world. That was what he felt like constantly these days: lost. He didn’t want to interrupt the man’s thoughts as he watched the ocean, perfectly content to sit in silence as they watched the water. It wasn’t until he spoke up that Benji turned to regard him. “I feel as though it’s been a long year,” he spoke quietly, thinking back to everything that had been happening to him. He didn’t even know what was going on with the island. Everyone seemed angry at one point at the Nyx children and then backing them the next. Honestly, he didn’t have a horse in this race. The only person that had been kidnapped that meant anything to Benji was his older brother who he barely knew. “What seems to have you seeking out guidance from the ocean?” His curiosity getting the better of him.

[absentialucis]

myhearthealing​:

“Well,” she thought about it. “Yes, it’s a good escape. And I do use it as an escape a lot. But reading has many uses. I like self-help sometimes because I feel better about reality afterwards. Usually fiction books make me kind of hate reality, you know? So you like reading, too?” This was interesting to Bernie; maybe she’d be able to talk book recommendations with him. “That’s honestly awful,” she frowned. “How long ago did you get injured? Do you still have to do physical therapy?” Since she didn’t know a lot about her older brother, she didn’t understand the extent of the loss Benji had. “Why is that weird?” Bernie asked. “Oh. Cool.” She handed him his ice cream as her mind whirled, catching up to this news. “Wait a minute. Really?” Maybe it was like Noel with his family all being sourced in Minnesota. But wait a minute, if it was like Noel… “I’m from Hooker,” she said slowly. “Are…you?” The town had less than two thousand people. Most people in the larger cities never even knew of it, except for the weird name. If he was, then that was certainly weird…

He could get behind her liking whatever types of books she wanted to. He personally had always been into fantasy, wanting to get away from reality. Not that his life had been terrible until recently. His adoptive parents were loving to him and his younger brother, he never wanted for anything in his life. Benji had trained his entire life to do something he loved and succeeded in it. That was more than many people could say for themselves. So being away from real life was not something he needed constantly. Not until recently that was. Focusing on her talking about where she was from in Oklahoma gave him pause. How likely was it that they were both born in the same place to Poseidon and some random woman? He never understood how Poseidon knew to find her in the first place. Let alone two. “I was born in Hooker, Oklahoma. According to my birth certificate that is,” Benji began to explain, not being able to meet her eyes. This couldn’t just be a coincidence but he didn’t want to open her mind to that right away. “I was raised in San Francisco with my adoptive parents and my brother.”

[absentialucis]

obscuritas-est-lux​:

Odessa shrugged her shoulder and then tilted her head at him. “I’m too important for that non sense.” She flipped her hair. There was no way she’d waste her time kidnapping…well except that one time. That wasn’t her fault it was obviously that hecate child who decided to tease her. “Caelan.” She said raising her eyebrows. Dessa looked him over some more and smiled. This was a surprising turn of events. Dessa was going to have a farmer boy. He would do nicely for her plans. “So you’re a farm boy huh?” She walked up and touched his arm. “Probably means you’re super strong?” She gave his arm a squeeze and then leaned down to pet the puppy again. “He really is adorable.” She smiled up at the man she was now determined to make her farm boy.

When she said that she was too important for the kidnappings, Caelan didn't understand. How had she gotten away with not having to do the dirty work that the living Nyx children swore their mother made them do. "Yep, Caelan Larsen. If Caelan is too long then people call me Cael a lot. Like 'kale' the food but spelled differently." Was he rambling? Yes, he was. Did Caelan mind that? Not too much, no. After all, she seemed friendly enough. "Uh huh, I'm pretty strong but I also have bees. They're very nice bees. Do you like mead?" Still too friendly for his own good, Caelan had perked up since learning of her parentage and was practically bouncing on his feet. "Would you like to try my mead?"

[absentialucis]

larkfox​:

Yes, calling Caelan over had definitely been a good idea. It was oddly comforting not to feelthe urge to argue (yet). “Thanks.” Lark took all of this at face value, even though Caelan sounded a bit like an overgrown thirteen year old trying to get more responsibility. She didn’t mind, honestly. Plus, Percy the dog seemed adorable. Given, she was a little worried about Percy’s feeding schedule. “That sounded like Caroline- on top of everything.” She fidgeted with her hands, trying her best to maintain her smile. Even thought Caelan was helping did not mean it was easy to get out of her own miserable head. “I would definitely be interested in seeing Beenard’s new dance! And I’d love to hear more about your mead-making, Caelan. I don’t know anything about that. Not that I’m a big drinker or anything, but I assume that you’d know your honey better than just about anyone else. Also I’m going to just look up the process for making the stuff after you leave anyway, and Wikipedia only tells me so much.”

“Caroline is the best when it comes to these sorts of things,” Caelan agreed as he thought about his older twin sister. She was often the logical one out of the two of them, always taking care of things he forgot. Though Percy didn’t seem to mind. He liked roaming the island, often showing up at Khione’s Kones and hanging out with Lachlan and Wolfgang during the day. He always came home and that’s what mattered to Caelan. When Lark asked about making mead, Caelan visibly brightened up. Beenard’s dance could wait for a moment as he regarded the woman next to him. “Wait, you really wanna know about mead?” He tilted his head. Most people just nodded their heads and told him it tasted great even if it didn’t. He might not have been the brightest on the island but he knew most did not want to listen to him talk about the process of turning honey into alcohol. “Well, I usually mix my honey with other fruits so it tastes better. I really like this strawberry one I made the other day. But basically you boil down honey and water and mix it with anything you want to put it in it. Then after it’s all settled a bit you add yeast for fermentation. I could show you how to make some if you’d like. It’s not difficult and doesn’t take long.”

[absentialucis]

icarialex​:

Hearing Phoebe be so sweet and tender with her once again threw the dancer for a loop. A part of her craved it and wanted to fall back into it. Since the ball, she hadn’t had much time to really sit with her thoughts. Between her brother being killed, the mayor losing his shit, and so many people being upset with her, the dancer’s mind was occupied. Since being released from jail though, she’d had nothing to do but get lost in her head. Everything hit her at once, and she just felt so lost. Still, she stopped herself from hoping that things could be okay. Hoping lead to heartbreak, and she didn’t think she’d successfully be able to handle anymore. Instead of answering, Remi just sadly nodded and moved to sit down.

The dancer ran her hand through her hair as her knee subconsciously bounced while she waited for Phoebe to be done. The question was so much more loaded than she thought the bakery owner even realized. “It’s not your responsibility to worry about me,” she started as she pulled her legs up to her chest and squished herself onto the chair. Squeezing herself into small spaces helped with the trembling. “And I don’t mean that in a mean way because I do want you. I haven’t stopped wanting to be with you, but I know I don’t deserve to be. Hell, I might not even have a place which I knew and should have protected myself better for.” Honestly, she’d known about Ava and how everything could explode when things were exposed. She should have walked away, but she couldn’t.

“Still I promised you an explanation, and you deserve that.” Remi could feel her emotions getting a little out of control. A part of her knew she should have taken Deacon up on his offer to get out of Icaria, but she couldn’t. The reason she couldn’t was literally standing in her apartment. The dancer couldn’t take Phoebe thinking she wasn’t worth staying for, or that she didn’t want to figure things out. “Nyx saved my life. I didn’t kidnap people because I’m that loyal to my mother or support her cause. I did it because I literally owed her, and I hate owing anyone. I pay my debts.” That mentality was the biggest part of her that still remained from the streets. Owing people anything never settled well with her. “My dad was — he was a mess. Drug addict who couldn’t support his family. By eight I was on the streets in a local crew. We stole, sold cocaine, and did anything we could to bring home cash. I was addicted to the merchandise before my tenth birthday,” she said solemnly. It definitely wasn’t something she was proud of. People tended to look at her differently

If Remi closed her eyes, she could still remember how it felt back then. The skimpy clothing she’d wear, the clubs she’d hit, and the fights she’d scarcely dodge. She remembered being so high and strung out that she wouldn’t sleep for days. It was then that her mother walked in acting like the saving grace she always appeared to be to her children. “Nyx found me right before I was fifteen. I was a step away from beginning to work corners because I was maturing nicely for my age, so I guess I should thank her timing. Still, the day I left with her was the day I walked into my apartment to see my dad dead next to lines of cocaine. I was so fucked up, I did a line before calling the cops. What kid does that?” Talking about it was making her squeeze her legs tighter, but she needed to get it out. The faster she did, the quicker she could try shoving the memories back down. “She took me to the Bennett’s. Deacon  and Weston saw me through my withdrawals. I’m not stupid. I wasn’t dying, but people where I came from rarely saw their twenty first birthday. I was living on borrowed time back there. When she got me out I got an education, I was put in dance, and I was able to actually remake myself.” Remi couldn’t help but scoff at the end of her words. Some redemption project she turned out to me. “Into a kidnapper who hurts everyone she cares about, but still, I’m alive, so I guess that’s an accomplishment. So, to answer your question, no, I’m not doing too great, but I don’t — I can’t have you feeling like you have to worry about me relapsing because I haven’t earned being someone worth you caring about again yet. Deacon is trying to get me to leave Icaria, but I — I turned him down because of you. I just — I needed to make sure you didn’t still see me the way you did that night. It’s all I see when I think about you.”

Stuck on the words ‘I do want you’, though she would never admit it aloud, Phoebe took her time cleaning up the mess and making sure to take care of putting the leftovers away before she joined Remi. Something told her that this conversation was not going to be over quickly and she didn’t think it was a bad thing. There were a lot of things that they needed to discuss, including the reasons Phoebe had been angry with the woman to begin with. It had never been about kidnapping people, it’s not as if Phoebe had been completely innocent in her life, but the mistrust she now felt with the woman. Still, she owed it to Remi to hear her out.

Sitting down next to her, Phoebe turned her attention towards Remi and allowed the woman to begin her tale. It was exactly what Phoebe feared in the back of her mind: that Remi felt zero control over the way her life had been led until now. That was something she could understand probably better than most on the island. Living on the streets, being a child with no guidance from adults, rarely made fully formed people. The idea of being addicted to drugs, to seeing her father after he overdosed, all the things that Remi had been through until now broke her heart for the woman. No one should have to live a life like that and considering the hell Phoebe had gone through herself as a child of the system that was the last thing she ever wanted for someone else.

“If I hated you or didn’t want to fix this, I wouldn’t be here,” Phoebe spoke quietly for the first time since sitting down. As much as she wanted to hate Remi, part of her cared about the child of Nyx more than she’d ever let on to anyone. Now she felt more connected to her than she ever thought possible. “I understand that you felt that you had no choice in the matter, that Nyx took advantage of her children to do her dirty work. Let’s be real here, do any of parents truly care for us? You went through hell and she showed up not out of love but out of control for your life because any mother who loves her children would never ask them to do what she did of you.” Now, Phoebe was angry for Remi. At least Phoebe knew her parents never loved or cared for her. That was not something she could say for the other woman.

“I wanted to be angry with you, I was angry with you. The reason I refused to speak further with you that night was because I hurt for you. No one deserved to go through what you and your siblings did at that masquerade, no matter what might have done,” she continued on as she let her eyes fall from Remi’s face to her own hands. “I was even more upset at the fact that despite everything all I wanted to do was comfort you. Even if you didn’t deserve it. I’m not going to let you relapse because I care about you, Remi. More than I’ve cared about most people in life. It may not be much, I can’t fully comprehend what you are going through but I’m going to try. As much as you deserve my anger I can’t do it any longer.”

[absentialucis]

myhearthealing​:

Atticus understood, because that was exactly how he felt. He thought he’d be allowed to be mad, but to everyone, even the people he was with, it was like he was just on a vacation. In a way, it made him feel worthless, like maybe there was something wrong with him for not wanting the treatment he got? And no one cared? Everyone expected him to forgive and forget. He’d decided to forgive Remi for his own sanity, but it would be a long time, if ever, before he forgot about it. “I get the grudge, I really do,” he answered. “I’ve pretty much got one, too. I’m not going to be the one to talk you out of it.” He didn’t even know if she could be talked out of things. “Well,” he considered this question, which was a fair one. “I am thinking I’ll stick around the island for a while. I don’t have shit going for me anywhere else. My family’s here, my job’s here. And why not buy a house with my best friend?” Atticus didn’t see the issue here. “I know her better than I know anyone else, she’s not going to take off and stick me with the mortgage.” He was surprised he was now a person who knew what a mortgage was. “Briar knows how I live, I know how she lives.” Although there was a piece nagging at him, and there was no point in being defensive with Phoebe. “She does have a boyfriend, though. And he might convince her to leave at some point. I don’t know how far in the future that will be.”

Phoebe was glad at least one person understood her frustration with Remi. Though she couldn’t seem to keep the anger in when she was around the other woman, Phoebe had a feeling it would fade if she actually let her speak about it. Right now her frustration was solely in the fact that Remi lied to her. The other woman had known how distraught the redhead had been about losing people she care about and all this time she knew what happened to them. It was the betrayal she was having a hard time getting passed. Instead of lingering on that fact, Phoebe was much more interested in her brother’s weird arrangement with his roommate. “Atti, I hate to be the one to tell you this but that’s not normal. Not the staying in town for those reasons, that’s very justified. I’m just concerned about why you and your roommate think this is a normal reaction to things. Are you sure you’re just friends?” Maybe they were and there was some serious codependency things happening there and Phoebe just didn’t understand. She rarely relied on other people so it was likely just something she couldn’t comprehend. “I just don’t want to see you get stuck in a situation you can’t get out of but I don’t know Briar well enough to give you decent advice on it.”