abitofafatass

[abitofafatass]

"See? You sound like an ass! Emmmmmpppp-ah!" Grif kept his voice hushed, just for Wash's ears. "Even Simmons says it correctly, and he has some of the dumbest ways of saying things that I've ever heard."

Grif dourly watched as the pair began their preparations. It seemed they meant to go through with the 'violence before talking' cliche. "Action Romcom" was almost as bad a genre as the ordinary version.

"I guess I should have brought a whistle," he grumbled as he hauled his bulk up and out the door to the beach. "The last thing I refereed for was Kai's 5th-grade soccer team. I could throw a sandwich at you guys if you need a yellow card thrown at you."

@ncwblue

Delta would listen to both conversations without input - at least until Carolina ducked behind her curtain to change. It was a measure of modesty that he imagined was mostly for Grif - the Mother of Invention hadn't cared much for modesty in the designs of its locker rooms.

"Based on the scan we performed earlier with the healing unit, areas to avoid if you want to keep this match friendly include the base of her prosthetic and anywhere along the back of her torso; it appears she has a still-healing plasma wound on her back. It should theoretically be causing her pain every time she raises her arms." He was amazed it hadn't come up before now, honestly - but then, he also hadn't seen her raise her arms significantly except to remove her helmet.

"The addition of the lockdown paint actually tilts the odds somewhat in your favor. That is, without a proper up to date analysis of her move set." Not that his old analysis had been particularly favorable to her.

"Would you like me to provide assistance during this match?"

@groundedxdreamer

[abitofafatass]

[abitofafatass]

"Emp," Grif muttered under his breath. "You sound like an asshole when you say it like that." While he felt like he needed to say it, Grif knew that that could spark a discussion, especially with Washington, and for once, he didn't feel like interrupting Freelancer bullshit.

He sat back and watched the proceedings with a sandwich in one hand, and a soda in the other. "You know, I'm starting to see how you and Church and Tex are related now," he remarked casually. "Most couples just talk to each other; there's no reason to get all hot and sweaty doing punchy-kicky shit."

@ncwblue

(Since we managed to accidentally cut Delta's reply out while still acknowledging it, I'm linking it here for Archival Purposes)

Carolina was quiet, outside of an almost-smug little grin. She couldn't help feeling a bit of an ego-boost that York was still head-over-heels for her, even if they had some pretty heavy topics to address. There's a reason she wanted to do it with a spar - physical contact could be therapeutic. She'd just have to remember not to hit too hard.

For just a moment, she'd just enjoy the satisfying crunch from the cucumber slices in her sandwich. It was a little heavy on the peanut butter, but she wasn't about to complain about a sandwich she didn't even make.

"I think we'll need to armor up. A kick with this thing is gonna feel like a dull thwack with a metal pipe." Talk about leaving a bruise. Honestly, it wasn't actually that heavy - but it was designed for combat, and could hit... Decently hard. She was still working on retraining the muscles on that side.

"And we'll need to talk parameters. I actually have a stash of lock-down paint I can dig up if you wanna go all in." Honestly, that might be to his benefit, even - while he might not physically be where he used to be, tools relied more on skill. It would give him more of a chance to strategize, and with Delta there to help, it might be a less unbalanced match. More satisfying when she wins, too.

@groundedxdreamer

[abitofafatass]

Grif looked at the little green AI hard. "I know you. You were with Caboose when the Meta attacked him." Suspicion darkened his brown eyes as he looked over York. He supposed there was a logical explanation for two people coming back from the dead. Delta was another form of Church (he guessed, AI shit was weird), so maybe he got a Get-Out-of-Death Card for free.

It didn't make the hair sit down flat on his hackles.

"I get why you didn't invite Tucker, now." The jokes for moths would be insufferable even from Red Base.

@ncwblue

"Grif, I hate to break it to you, but he and I have been part of a will-they-won't-they drama/romcom blend for over a decade now. Last season finale ended on a cliffhanger; somebody's going to be ecstatic that a network finally picked the show back up." Carolina took a bite of her sandwich, and Delta opted to make himself known again, materializing with a visual stutter near the stack of sandwiches - out of the way, but in an area where people were likely to notice him.

"Agent York has spent approximately 632 hours and 53 minutes practicing pick-up lines during their time apart that I was able to observe. It is a curiosity that he hasn't used any of them." Delta would always take an opportunity to gently rib York; he knew York would do the same to him.

"Besides, York - I'm sure Delta's already given you a full analysis of ways to take advantage of my new weak spot. You'll be fine. And, if you'll recall, you showed up at three in the morning. I'm running on about four hours of sleep. Now, eat; we'll hash it out in a bit."

@groundedxdreamer

[abitofafatass]

"Oh, god." There was an audible slap! when Grif's hand hit his forehead. In his other, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich was thrust forward as if to say really? "Fight or flirt, do not do bolth." Perhaps that was a bit hypocritical, coming from Grif's mouth, but he and Simmons had never dated.

Not like these two had, anyways.

"I'm ok living in the farce genre, we don't need this to become a romcom. You do the flirt/fight bullshit, that's how we wind up in a romcom."

@ncwblue

Carolina was already turning to grab her sandwich - she could use something crisp right now, and those cucumbers would hit the spot. She gave Wash a bit of a look at his question, pausing long enough to appraise him once over.

"Just a few hours ago you were one smart remark away from shooting him. No, after lunch is between him and I." And that was why Grif was here. Because one smart remark was the bare minimum of what was coming up.

"Think you're up for a spar, tough guy?" Carolina turned her gaze to York, finishing her paused action of getting her food and nodding her chin toward him to indicate she was talking to him. Something in her tone indicated this wasn't really a question, though.

@groundedxdreamer

[abitofafatass]

A new Freelancer was always trouble when one was their designated target practice. Most Sim Troopers, Grif had learned, barely survived meeting one, whereas the poor bastards from Blood Gulch had had dealings with at least five of them. After being shot at, hunted, dragged around the galaxy, and having his nuts assaulted several times in just one day, Grif was not in a particularly charitable mindset for this Agent York.

"'Sup, loser." Grif flashed a Shaka at York before turning to the Freelancer he knew how to deal with. "So what do you expect me to do? Sit in the corner and shout if something is out of line? Do I get a referee whistle?"

@ncwblue

Carolina didn't need to say anything; she simply moved to follow, before passing and leading the way back to her little strip of beach, ducking under the camouflage net she'd strung in the driftwood branches that marked the entrance to her cove, holding it for the others, before once again jogging ahead, a combination of anxiety and, though she refused to recognize it, excitement pushing her forward.

The feelings about this situation were an absolute mess, and seemed to be running circles in her head between highs and lows and pros and cons. Putting them into words would prove difficult for her, certainly.

"We got food!" She called ahead as a notice that they were walking up - no need to startle him when they were all on edge already. As they approached the little hutch she'd built for herself (it certainly wasn't designed for company, but she'd do her best), Carolina prepared to do introductions.

"Grif, York; York, Grif. He's one of the simulation troopers I mentioned earlier, here to call foul if things get out of hand." But not intervene; that was never expected.

"We need to talk."

@groundedxdreamer

[abitofafatass]

[abitofafatass]

"Hey!" Grif wrinkled his nose, "I take offense at the implication that I give a fuck about any of you beyond making sure I'm still alive." Once his honor was properly defended, he rolled his shoulders in a shrug and nodded,

"Let's get this terrible part started then."

He shoved his hands into the pocket of his large black Grifball hoodie and looked expectantly at the Freelancers.

@ncwblue

Compared to what he's seen Grif and Caboose eat, peanut butter with cucumbers was not that strange of a request. Wash wouldn't have expected it to come from Carolina of all people, but he had seen worse from others. He wasn't going to comment, simply nod and get to work on what was probably going to become an apology lunch.

Cucumbers were where Carolina had said they were, and everything else was pulled directly from the refrigerator or cabinet. Wash wasn't entirely sure how much time he had to get everything put together and stored safely in a container, and he couldn't be positive how much had passed. Most of his initial feelings from that morning had passed, but that didn't mean there wasn't a chance they would resurface all over again once they met back up with York.

Not to mention Grif would be there this time.

By the time he had gotten everything together, Carolina had returned with Grif in tow. "We needed someone with a level head," Wash explained, making sure the container with their lunches was sealed properly. "And Simmons tends to crack under pressure. Carolina's idea. Not mine."

@perpetualxfire

[abitofafatass]

dadadada

it’s the one and only d o double g

POOPDOGG

[abitofafatass]

[abitofafatass]

daily rvb until the new season releases day 9

[abitofafatass]

there is, in fact, a "platonic explanation for this" if you're not a coward

[abitofafatass]

Grif had gotten dressed. That was about the extent of his visible efforts to keep the entire thing cordial and professional. He had also stuffed his pockets full of cookie packs and other snacks just to keep his constitution up for this entire ordeal. Ostensibly, he was here because it was going to be great to have Wash and Carolina owe him favors, but Grif would be lying if he said a part of him wasn't concerned for his friends.

He kept trying to think of what he would do if people from his first squad showed up out of the blue, and shuddered away from that thought.

"If you wanted someone who was going to be helpful, you should have asked Simmons to come," he said through a yawn.

@ncwblue

Grif. Another sigh, though more out of resignation than frustration. Carolina had a point in that Grif was the most level-headed out of the simulation troopers -- which really spoke volumes about the rest of them. Not that he was willing to open up the doors to that conversation. Nonetheless, Grif always had a gripe or two (or several) about his cooking style, and Wash was positive he would find a way to complain about something as simple as sandwiches.

It was going to be a very long day.

"That's fine," he said, making his way into the adjacent kitchen. "Just means more food to prepare." Wash was fairly confident Grif wasn't that picky about sandwiches, but he also has griped about Wash's healthier lifestyle numerous times. Oh well. York, on the other hand... He wasn't sure he remembered his particular tastes, if he knew them at all back then. Oh well. "Any preferences?"

[abitofafatass]

"Listen, we all know what happens if you steal a Leprechaun's gold. They made a whole ass documentary about it in 1992. Jenifer Aniston was in it." Grif said this without any irony as if he actually believed that movie was a documentary.

"And if that rabbit wants to die by sugary cereal confections, I say we let him."

"Yeah, and Lucky Charms aren't much better. That god damn leprechaun is just hoarding all that shit for no reason! Besides, Trix would probably fucking kill a rabbit."

[abitofafatass]

"Hey, its not my fault the cereal is built on the politics of exclusion! Their entire marketing strategy is abuse and keeping that poor rabbit from having even a nibble."

"Hey, don't you shit on the good name of Trix cereal, you fucking heathen." Marshmallows in Trix was still cursed, though.

[abitofafatass]

"Lemme just say, no one is eating Trix with marshmallows in it. Nobody." Grif paused. "Actually, no one is eating Trix to begin with. Its a bad cereal."

"How else are parents supposed to get their kids to eat breakfast?"

[abitofafatass]

"Its just offensive on some level. What's next? Marshmallows in Kix?"

"Never thought I'd hear you complaining about junk food. Hell must have frozen over."