abellstruckedmoon

[abellstruckedmoon]

5.0 New Covid Year, New Resolutions?

Hi there,

Its been awhile huh?

I’m unsure when was the last time I actually wrote something as when I read my previous post, I had a rough time. A really bad one. In short, I was rejected to be in JD. I was unemployed for a month. Sent out more than 20 applications to multiple law firms and I even tried to apply to jobs that was totally irrelevant to my major. That was how difficult it was to find a job in this hectic pandemic. Not only that, I have spend most of my days going to the gym but I lost nothing except for my mind. I feel like its me against the world. I swear 2020 was the worst I have ever had.

Moving on to February, I gotta say that’s where everything goes well. Alhamdulillah. I got a job interview after I passed my TP test. Uhuh, I failed my first test in 2020. Went for the interview and was invited to another one few days later PLUS another law firm invited for an interview. ALL HAPPENED IN THE SAME WEEK. HOW CRAZY IT IS?! I was more interested in the first law firm as compared to the later one...... to be honest I don’t really know why. Okay, putting aside that the law firm has one of SUSS lecturers in the Law Faculty really amazes me. I was offered for a paralegal position (though I applied for Legal Executive) with a higher pay (alhamdulillah) and I accept the job immediately. I could not be more happier. To add on that amazeball moment, I was offered a job too from the other law firm (they are more inclined in civil matters and rarely does syariah cases) but unfortunately I have to reject them although I had the most engaging interview with the lawyer in-charge. Gotta say that he was quite impressed with my background. I mean, same goes for the current law firm I’m working for.

No doubt I had a hard time adapting to the job and the environment. But thanks to my secretarial team for making it bearable. Had the mental breakdown and the ‘talk’ on my third week. As an emotional ass, obviously I had to cry to let it out from my system. Nevertheless, it was something I need to get through this path. Now I’m almost two months in the job and I gotta say, despite being busy most of the time, to an extend I couldn’t even meet some of my friends and ignores most of the texts, oh and of course, missing gym sessions. I’m definitely happy i’m doing something I’m passionate about. It is really not those flowery path I had imagined it to be, but I’m still looking back to the main reason why i’m doing this in the first place. Guess all the painful moments I had last year was indeed a blessing in disguise.

I really hope I will be someone who I have always want to be. I want to achieve my dream job although it is going to be a very very long and rough road ahead. On a side note, I hope I will find someone who is willing to be on my side and be my no.1 supporter. I guess, I should never lower my standards when I know there will always be one person out there who is my missing puzzle piece. Let’s focus on being a better person in every aspects and be truthful to yourself, kind to others and confident always. Hwaiting!

♡,

B ◡̈︎

[abellstruckedmoon]

4.0 Global pandemic........... you’re still here?

hey, its been awhile. 

we’re 3/4 done with 2020 and yep, crazy things still happening around. 

here’s my life updates: 

1) quitted my retail job 

2) offered to work as a project officer in the govt sector (by contract thO but it ok) 

3) confessed to a guy and got rejected (duh) 

4) gained tons of weight and regretting every bit of it (82kg is enough to get MORE body shame) 

5) did two interviews for JD prog (still waiting for the result to be out in Nov) 

6) managed to save up 

7) frequent anxiety (sucksssss) 

8) despite getting a full time job, did another side job. its lethargic as fok.

.................................................................so yeah. that’s about it. with all these things happening around me, i just hope that for whatever goals i wanna achieve, it will happen. i couldn’t see myself letting go of the future i have always dreamt of. the dream that i have right now seems a little too far for me but impossible is nothing, right? i am currently enjoying the work i am doing and i gotta say, i really be enjoying the job if i really lov it. thus, i need a job that i lov so i won’t feel like i’m actually working? 

wanting to be in the legal field is not an easy path. lowkey knows that people not believing in me to pursue this path but if i myself can’t believe in me, who else would? 

from me to me: 

this may be a painful and a lonely path but just so you know, it is going to be worth it. your future self is waiting for you. you will not be letting go of your dreams. you will be someone who you can be proud of yourself. you matter. you will be as pretty as joy, you will be the best version of yourself. its ok to be selfish. its ok to be you, be the better you each day. its ok to be sad, its ok if the anxiety comes, just so you know everyone is feeling hectic in this world and its normal to feel so. if you fall along the way, get up and move forward. success doesn’t come easy. if its easy, it wont last. go get em, girl! 

♡,

B

[abellstruckedmoon]

3.0 Global Pandemic

It has been a month or two since we lived life normally. By that I meant, going to work, hanging out with friends and such. 

No doubt that the pandemic drives every single soul nuts someway somehow. It’s saddening but I can’t say much as we all be facing the same thing. 

I mentioned previously that I enjoyed working at my new job right? Unfortunately all retails stores are obligated to close temporarily as Circuit Breaker commenced. I managed to work only for a day and now I’m kind of back to square one of being unemployed (kind of). With no income coming in, kind of making me depressed. I should be saving up at this age but yeah. And I will be taking my LNAT test next month. Oh, no major improvements yet but gotta fake it till i make it, eh?

Everything is hard nowadays. Sitting at home trying to be productive, more knowledgable, it’s so hard to be consistent. However, everything happens for a reason. I gotta stay positive to make myself sane. It is still unpredictable on when can the world be normal again but let’s take this opportunity to appreciate all the little things and be thankful for whatever we have. 

On a positive note, I managed to find a new skill and invest myself on an iPad! to more drawings in the future!

I hope for nothing but to have a good and happy life. Forever.

signing off,

b

[abellstruckedmoon]

2.0 First  Day

yesterday marked my first day of work at one of the japanese retail store. i have been looking for jobs for almost 3 months but never shortlisted. sad and idk mixed feelings here and there. it was hard no doubt, but girl gotta do what a girl gotta do, right? so i applied for something has no relation to my field. thank god, i got a callback and were asked to report at the HQ. despite all the happiness of getting employed, things doesn't always go the way you want it. i mean, its already difficult enough for me and for whatever i have on my plate. but life has to move on so gotta just bear the shit out of it. 

okay enough of the sudden negativity, lets continue about the job. my jobscope is okay i guess? i mean from customer greeting to managing the store items and stuffs but i swear its super super tiring! i have never been that tired for a LONG time! i cant feel my legs, i got a backache and a major headache? slept before 11am and that my friend, is my biggest achievement. 

though feeling like im almost at the edge of living, it was actually fun. the people there are friendly and helpful! i hope everything goes well, eh?

with the pandemic going around, i don’t know how it’s gonna be like in the future. i hope for nothing but the best for the world. everyone hope that everything will be like how it was. but i believe everything happen for a reason.

signing off, 

B 

[abellstruckedmoon]

1.0 Hello

i have always thought that having a blog means venting out all the negativity inside you, may it be about your day or the people who angered the shit out of you. tbvh, i don’t really feel good after doing so. 

as i grow up (turning 24 this year), i realized the importance of having positivity especially when i’m feeling down. thus, the birth of this blog! i will write down things that made me happy as a young adult. hehe. 

firstly! my application as a retail assistant is accepted! alhamdulillah! a little anxious and nervous but am totally looking forward to new experiences! oh yes, hello saving up?

secondly! ordered two albums of nct though it has the same CD but not the items included in the albums!!!!! a tad pricey but its okay! i’m still happy that i purchased those! 

thirdly! had the mood to start revising for LNAT. yep, the mood came few days before i start working lolsies. BUT BUT BUT, atleast something right? 

fourthly! i can finally swallow SUSHI?!?!?!?!??!?!!? im totally a sushi addict now. ok, too soon to say that. change it to a makisan addict! hahaha

oh, i have always wanted to go back to my old weight. im struggling real bad cos i ♡ food and forever having a hard time resisting it. nevertheless, STILL WANNA GO BACK TO 59KG me! i can do this right? 

till i found more happy things, i will write more!

signing off,

B.