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[abeautifulcatharsis]

By szkielko.malwiny

[abeautifulcatharsis]

Theology Words (1/7)

Some terms & definitions taken from www.gotquestions.org

[abeautifulcatharsis]

Questions and Statements

I’m so lonely

I have imaginary pets

I’m so phony

And I have so many regrets

I feel like loser

Spilling this rhyme

I fall in love with abusers

Because I’m aging with time

I don’t want to die alone

My parents are old

There’s no calls on my phone

I’m feeling grey and cold

I have questions you see

Will anyone know?

Who will bury me?

After I bury my family?

Old and alone is not a good combination

That’s why I smoke blunts and heavy rotation

[abeautifulcatharsis]

urbankate_in_ca on ig

[abeautifulcatharsis]

Just thinking about people making year-end summaries of their accomplishments and also about reasons to keep yourself alive through the next year. Sorry, it’s a bit of a sappy comic.

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[abeautifulcatharsis]

Comparison is inevitable.

You compare yourself to your old friend from middle school who just got engaged to her boyfriend of five years.

You compare yourself to the boy you used to ride home with on the school bus every day who bought his own house at twenty-three.

You even compare yourself to the mean girls from high school who found a career that they love, while you’re at a dead-end job not knowing what the hell you want.

Success is not linear but I still cross myself out of the equation.

My body is on autopilot.

It doesn’t know what it wants, but it goes where it’s needed – to work, to the grocery store, to home.

It eats, showers, sleeps, does what it’s supposed to, but it doesn’t have enough resources to find a future it can look forward to. 

What I mean is, my mind and heart are having an affair 

and they can’t find a good enough reason to get out of bed and help me.

– the future is yours (but not mine) // h.w

[abeautifulcatharsis]

Roses in February

Oh,

How romantic

Is rose-petal February

Seeping commercialized love

In giant stuffed bears and candy filled kisses

Little gifts of endearment

For those who can never seem to give enough

And those who see gifts as heart-filled fluff

Oh, but how tragic

Is a lonely February

Frost-bite forgotten lovers

Alone in a cold bed

Softest dreams running in head

Roses in February

Are dying

And those who are together

Give roses of red

From blood of their dead

Forgotten sense of self.

“Valentines is for the viscous”

Like bloody gladiators

Unsheathing swords of forget-me-nots

And bleeding out “I love you”s

Roses in February

Are like hungry lions in the era of gladiators to some

Roses in February

Are like the sword in the stone for others

It’s all dependent on independent perspective

[abeautifulcatharsis]

Can u come thru? https://www.instagram.com/p/BsSmxnfHFpbR4KIo9hbhbZ9TYPfOyUDmC1Q9Tg0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=yjz6tp5gdece

[abeautifulcatharsis]

Last year was a time of discovery. Learned things and developed potentials I thought I never had. Attended weddings, witnessed power of true love as couples exchanging vows. Enjoyed the tides and waves once more, walked barefoot on the sand while the heat kissing my flesh. Toured the west part of the island, mesmerized by the serenity of the view appearing magic onto my eyes (how green it was!). Reconnected with family members and friends whom I have always missed, found happiness that was almost closing then memories with them all became nostalgic. Worked with all my bones, I got tired most of the time and thought of quitting, (planned to pursue my passion but maybe not now) yet I saw the so-called outcome of hardwork and it was the first time I ever felt so fulfilled in my life. And I met new people, never found the one. (Hehe joke 😆) Surrounded myself with good kinds, lived with them, and admired the beauty of their souls. Here comes 2019, a lot more to discover. Thank you to all of you who sailed with me and to Lord God for still keeping me sane despite the tons of blessings He’s been giving — His grace is crazy! 💛 Now I’m opening another year with a full heart, going to fall in love now. xx #2018bestofmine https://www.instagram.com/p/BsE39R4nZnsF5cCVFIn7NbC5y_dkk5M0BF1Ljg0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1h818gxo0nc0

[abeautifulcatharsis]

Changsub’s Solo Album [MARK] — Concept images 1 #btob #changsub https://www.instagram.com/p/BrBv3X_Hqqm/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=rjmfvo1fzdj2

[abeautifulcatharsis]

The universe is full of intellegent design.

And I think maybe one of the reasons God made it all so complex was to show us that it’s okay to trust Him.

That He’s sovereign, not merely over stars and galaxies,

but over each one of our lives, down to our very next breath.

I think the Lord did it to remind us

that He is exactly who He says He is,

that He knows exactly what He’s doing,

and that His words are steadfast and true as they’ve ever been

even when they don’t align with how we feel.

[abeautifulcatharsis]

Lee Changsub solo album [MARK] — concept image 1 Release on 20181211 #btob #leechangsub #비투비 #이창섭 #MARK https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq_IlrTnxAg/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=l1cfv6d5cidr

[abeautifulcatharsis]

Lee Changsub solo album [MARK] — concept image 1 Release on 20181211 #btob #leechangsub #비투비 #이창섭 #MARK https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq_IgIsn8gK/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=qx4y35xu2ya1

[abeautifulcatharsis]

Lee Changsub solo album [MARK] — concept image 1 Release on 20181211 #btob #leechangsub #비투비 #이창섭 #MARK https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq_IdeCnAKF/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=mu4bw6njh0u

[abeautifulcatharsis]

[abeautifulcatharsis]

“The most confused we ever get is when we’re trying to convince our heads of something our heart knows is a lie.”

— Karen Marie Moning

[abeautifulcatharsis]

“Sleep felt productive. Something was getting sorted out. I knew in my heart—this was, perhaps, the only thing my heart knew back then—that when I’d slept enough, I’d be okay. I’d be renewed, reborn. I would be a whole new person, every one of my cells regenerated enough times that the old cells were just distant, foggy memories. My past life would be but a dream, and I could start over without regrets, bolstered by the bliss and serenity that I would have accumulated in my year of rest and relaxation.”

— Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation