abductedbymyownmind

[abductedbymyownmind]

the start?

i just dont get hungry as much as others

[abductedbymyownmind]

for me.

for us.

so im going to have to let go now

[abductedbymyownmind]

for those who hurt me when i didnt deserve it

i forgive you

[abductedbymyownmind]

August 5, 2018

A year or so after ana –started

I have said many many times i was over it, i no longer counted calories, I no longer didn’t eat that cookie because I thought of butter, sugar, calories.

a year of saying i’m OK and now I finally feel like I am getting better. I am staying true to myself.

and you know what? After losing more than 10% of my body weight I have gained 3kgs and I feel much better

I am not 100% over it and I know, I still wont add butter, I still can’t eat all that ice cream It is still hard for me to eat pasta and bread. But slowly I am getting over it.

I refuse to leave for college and let ana come back and take over who I am and who I’m supposed to become.

Help me lord for I am weak

i was anorexic. i would starve myself for days and hunger was a constant pain. I became weak and i couldn’t understand why, now i know. thankfully, i was able to identify it and realize how i was killing my own body.

if this is you, you know many people will tell you to get out of it. you will tell yourself to get out of it. but it is not as easy as it sounds. i know my blog isn’t as popular but if anyone out there is struggling with ana just like I am, here are some tips on how to help your stomach get used to a new diet. deciding to fight ana is a difficult thing to do, but you are strong and believe me, it will be worth it.

eat foods that are low on fiber (foods that are easy for your stomach to digest and it will slowly get you back on track)

oatmeal

bananas

white rice

bread

simple cookies

low fat food in general

i know it might be hard but never starve yourself, start eating small quantities of food throughout the day, this will make your stomach and your metabolism better, dont skip meals, even if they are small remember to eat

dm me if you found this useful, i really hope you find your path because i am currently trying to get out and i never want to go back. ana changed me and i didn’t even realize, i hope i can go back to who i was someday, but i understand if i never do.

take care

[abductedbymyownmind]

[abductedbymyownmind]

amor es una promesa

let me tell how I fell in love with you. since the very moment I saw you. only that was enough to make me think about you day and night, dream of your magical smile and your eyes full of worlds. then I got the balls to manage talking to you, and at that moment I fell in love with your calm, kiddo lovable voice and gosh the way you shined when you smiled. short time passed till I felt your warm hugs and those hot, red exquisite lips of yours on mine, your hands on my waist and heard your tiny go like lightning heartbeats of your enormous pure heart.

let me tell when I will stop loving you. only at the moment when all the stars above heaven stop shining and there’s nothing left in the universe, that day the love I feel for you will no longer be love, it will be much more than that

[abductedbymyownmind]

[abductedbymyownmind]

5 calorie drink means¿¿

[abductedbymyownmind]

lol wtf is ana back or nah?

[abductedbymyownmind]

Adivino, no era tu intención.

BrokenCigarettes

[abductedbymyownmind]

sometimes you just have to sleep it off

go sleep it off emma

[abductedbymyownmind]

NO SE QUE PUTAS QUIERO OK?!?!?

MENTIRA FUCK THAT SHIT MAYBE I DO!!!!

ESCOCIA?!?!?

fuckmylife

is this whats best for me??? do i need lehigh?? small town shitty as boring???

:////// maybe its what i need... mejores bases pero ughhh no se a small part of me quiere el reto de ir a escocia

fuck pero el clima!! voy a ser miserable

que pasa si no me gusta? si estoy sola? si las clases nada que ver y no hay latinos?

que pasa si me meto mucho en la mica? que pasa si estoy yendo pq es europa y blabla y no tanto por mi educación?

que es mejor para mi educación?? lehigh que me da mas bases y mas tiempo para decidir lo que quiero? o strathclyde que... ¿que tiene que la hace mejor académicamente?– algo? nada?

porque me gusto tanto escocia? por ser europa? por la ciudad? por hacer algo diferente?

porque esq le agarre tanto hate a lehigh? los gringos/gringas? el mini pueblo? porque fue la unica que me acepto? porque pedro se va a ir a europa?.... porque pedro no le gusta eso?

que tanto peso le estoy poniendo a la vida social? a las fiestas? eso no es

no debo ir solo a clases? al cuarto? y despues a la linreria?

me sentiria comoda en un cuarto compartido con alguien?

me voy a poder cocinar sola en strathclyde? voy a comer wherever i go? is ana gonna come back? its so easy tho

me imagino en escocia... en la ciudad

me imagino en lehigh... en la biblioteca

no nos tratan mucho como bebes? yo tengo un advisor en lehigh y en strathclyde con quien puedo confiar...

adonde voy a ser feliz?... adonde voy a ser la mejor versión de mi?

[abductedbymyownmind]

im so nervous

[abductedbymyownmind]

Adivino, no era tu intención.

BrokenCigarettes

[abductedbymyownmind]

may make

[abductedbymyownmind]

so why do i keep chasing it—you—?

[abductedbymyownmind]

te gusta la taza que te compré? es lo menos que podía hacer después de que cambiaras mi vida

via weheartit