aasmakamran

[aasmakamran]

If I ever meet you again, whether in this world or the next, I'll let you know that ever since we parted our ways, my lips have never tired of praying for you

[aasmakamran]

“There are some things about myself I can’t explain to anyone. There are some things I don’t understand at all. I can’t tell what I think about things or what I’m after. I don’t know what my strengths are or what I’m supposed to do about them. But if I start thinking about these things in too much detail the whole thing gets scary. And if I get scared I can only think about myself. I become really self- centered, and without meaning to, I hurt people. So I’m not such a wonderful human being.”

— Haruki Murakami, The Elephant Vanishes

[aasmakamran]

“Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. You’re doing just fine.”

— Charlotte Eriksson

[aasmakamran]

“Everything in the world we want to do or get done, we must do with and through people.”

— Earl Nightingale

[aasmakamran]

“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.”

— Mandy Hale

[aasmakamran]

““Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.””

—

[aasmakamran]

Whenever I needed you, truly and completely, you were not there & even if you were, I felt misunderstood. You have wronged me in ways I cannot tell & that, my love, breaks my heart a million times over.

[aasmakamran]

I freaking hate goodbyes. That's it. I cannot explain that empty feeling. Please don't ask why I'm crying if you cannot figure this out on your own. I love places & people. I am not a leaver. I invest myself too much while knowing it will hurt in the end. But I do it anyway. I guess this is the way I am & always will be.

[aasmakamran]

Maybe I'm too much for people. Maybe it's in the way I connect or how I pour my heart out every damn time that I end up hurting myself by setting certain expectations. Maybe it is because I feel too much & give too much. Maybe I must let them do their thing and love them from afar without complaining.

[aasmakamran]

Does it feel good to make me feel unwanted? You do know I feel upset, right? Just please stop. It's already hard not being kissed by you at random moments. Don't make it harder for me by NOT expressing what you feel.

[aasmakamran]

“Please don’t, above all, plant me in your heart. I grow too quick.”

— Rainer Maria Rilke (via nightlyquotes)

[aasmakamran]

I have a big heart, but it is sensitive. If you raise your voice on me or say something that triggers sadness, I'll be distant from you. I'll pretend I'm doing okay, but I'll be crying myself to sleep. When you act differently than usual, I'll keep bothering you, pick fights with you, argue over silly things just to get your attention.

[aasmakamran]

What do you do when your favorite people start acting a little edgy? How do you tell them you do not like their energy at that moment & they appear far from your approach even when they're physically next to you? Who do you turn to when you feel they won't accept there's something off about how they are behaving?

[aasmakamran]

If someday, you finally gather the strength to ask how am I doing? I'll tell you I feel sad. I feel unloved & worthless if you are not around or when we are not talking. I might cry a bit, but I will certainly make it visible that I see happy couples all around me, and I am not someone who is jealous or ungrateful; I just feel deprived sometimes. I hope one day when I tell you this, you hold me in your arms, plant a kiss on my forehead, and say, 'I'm sorry for making you feel that way. Let me love you all over again & this time, I'll do right by you."

[aasmakamran]

“If I have to ask for your attention, then I don’t even want it.”

—

[aasmakamran]

“I over-analyze situations because I’m scared of what will happen if I’m not prepared for it.”

— Turcois Ominek

[aasmakamran]

Somedays, I look at you & wonder, will you ever be able to truly understand what I am going through? I observe how your eyes are constantly in search of something mesmerizing. I wonder if I look that appealing to you? Now that some years have passed and you have seen me vulnerable, and at my worst, does my voice sound like poetry to you? Does my smile still make you want to stare at me for several moments? Do you still want to catch my attention while I am busy doing my thing? I guess I will never be able to ask you. I have stopped asking questions.