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shelter doggos get to pick out a christmas toy! (via)

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teaspoonie

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Autumnal Wood on Instagram

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only americans will understand::

shirley temple DVD set infomercial 

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if i was in jurassic park i'd be fine because the dinosaurs would love me and therefore not eat me

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Never get discouraged when chasing your dreams.

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hate it when pets learn words, my dog flips out when he hears "greenie" so we had to start saying "G word" but now he knows G word so we have to say shit like "are we out of emerald indulgences"

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*helps a bug outside so people don't kill it*

*flash forward and I'm convicted of a crime I didn't commit*

*no lawyer touches the case for me*

*everyone hears a buzz and turns around*

*the bug is wearing a tiny suit with a tiny suitcase and becomes my defense attorney*

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My dream for the election is that it’s definitive. I want a 2012-style Election Day where everyone built it up beforehand to possibly be close but then the results start rolling in and it was like “Oh, nevermind. It’s obviously Obama. Everyone go to bed.”

I just want voters to put a stake right through the heart of Trumpism so that it crumbles to ash before our eyes. That’s the dream.

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What the sneef? I'm snorfin' here!

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Not taking any of Crayola’s shit today.

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shooo

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