a-sobriety-journey

[a-sobriety-journey]

How Did I Get Here?... PT. 1

It's been a week since I got back from San Francisco and the week that changed everything. I suppose that there is no better time than the present to just get it out there...

I GOT A DUI.

I have known that I drink too much for a while now, but these last few months have really made it obvious. It all started with my sister and COVID. Due to my work life, before COVID I didn't have a home. My partner and I traveled constantly for work and found it pointless to pay rent when we could just camp or visit friends and family between jobs.

In March of 2020 we had just gotten back from Costa Rica and are usually home in Tahoe for about two weeks before we head out to the next gig, but as we all know, not this time. Lock down hit and S and I were held up at my parents house in Tahoe with a pretty damn white winter happening outside. Like a lot of us, sitting at home lead to movies, board games, puzzles and of course... day drinking. It's was only two weeks, pretty much a forced vacation. Nothing wrong with shots at 10am... right?

That was just the beginning. My sister and her BF came up from the Bay to quarantine at home with the family and the drinking continued. You see growing up my mom's vodka + sodas were 2/3 of a pint (with ice) of vodka and a splash of soda with lime. Our neighbor makes dangerously delicious margaritas with about the same ratios. To us, it was the point to taste the booze and feel the effects. Now, that being said I am a trained bartender and know that a 'proper pour' is, but we didn't even make our own drinks like that after our shift. So when it came time for the at home bartending, you already know that our drinks were the equivalent of 2-4.

We were drinking a bottle of tequila or vodka every 2-3 days and the sibling arguments and family strife began. To get out of the house S got a job at Safeway in town and I started delivering groceries with Instacart. When he wasn't working he would just ride with me. Grocery shopping while sipping cans of rosé, because why not? We weren't hurting anyone. The truth is... we were. We were hurting ourselves, but we will discuss that later.

So while E stayed home, her BF would go play in the snow and S and I would work; all converging at the end of the day back at my parents to start on the homemade margaritas and moscow mules. All at our own points of day drunk, the transition into night drinking with the entire family would commence. This quickly became a routine and then grew into our of control. S and I found ourselves looking for our own apartment due to a desperate need for personal space and mom and dad were rapidly becoming fed up with the drinking, arguments and state of their house with all of us in it.

....stay tuned for PT 2 where I get into how I convinced myself I was fine for too long and what my bottom looked like.

xx,

ASJ

[a-sobriety-journey]

A Light Introduction...

Hey there.

I started this journey three days ago. I haven't even made it a full 3 days without having a beer. Even as I type this, I am thinking about the fact that I have already cracked one today... it's not even 11am.

I guess I am here to just share my experience. Shouting in the void that is the internet, I figure maybe I will find even just one human struggling with the same things. Perhaps we can support one another on this difficult path to not only sobriety, but self discovery.

I suppose that I will share more about me and what got me to this point in a little bit. For now, I just wanted to say hello.

-ASJ