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I love you, Umbrella Academy fanfiction. Umbrella Academy fanfiction, I love you.

[a-single-anonymous-duck]

Wait wait wait…

In season 3 we see flashbacks where Klaus is locked in the mausoleum and Reginald is literally timing him from when he dies to when he resurrects.

And then we see moments of him where he thought he was having near death experiences but really that was him legit dying and coming back alive.

So…how come he didn’t come back in season 1 after the apocalypse? Yes he died, and yes he didn’t train himself to his full extent in that timeline, but he was still able to come back to life even if he didn’t know he could.

So what killed him for good? Was it because it was caused by Viktor? Is his power rendered useless because Viktor posses marigold as well?

Did he go to the “afterlife”? Cause when he first meets the girl on the bike he seems confused like he’s never been there before.

So what if he came back alive while Five was in the process of burying him? He already had the grave dug and he just finished burying Allison and had already dragged his body into the hole when Klaus gasps and sits up.

It would scare the shit outta Five but he would be so released that someone made it. That he isn’t alone. And it being one of his favourite siblings too.

Ohhhh this would make a good fic

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sometimes i'm having a chill moment and then i'm reminded of how the umbrella academy made me wait 2 years so they could commit a full character massacre and make me watch one of the worst endings to a meaningful story i've seen in years

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By the way, this is what Five Hargreeves looks like when he's around his siblings (who he fought to protect for decades)

LOOK HOW FUCKING SOFT HE IS WHEN HE'S AROUND THEM. and you want me to believe that this man would do something like that to Diego??? His brother??? No way.

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and you know what else? tipsy five and tipsy lila holding hands was really special to me until season 4 rolled around

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one question: how in the actual hell did five survive a ton of bricks falling right on him

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apocalypse five

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Five fell asleep on the couch and siblings put blankets over him one by one. He woke up because it was too hot.

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it’s out of character for diego to not like being a father when he spent like all of season 3 proving to himself he could do it and showing what a good dad he would be and just unconditionally loving stanley and his unborn child. it’s out of character for lila to fall for five when she loves diego more than she’s ever loved anyone in her life, and she’s so devoted and loyal to her husband who she has children with and who has supported her and proved to her that she is a good person and she is worth loving.

it’s out of character for five to fall for his brother’s wife when he has never expressed interest in her in any way and is endlessly loyal to his family no matter what. he wouldn’t break that trust, even if he did develop feelings for lila, which is completely unexpected and out of character for someone who has not really shown any attraction to another human, least of all lila.

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What if we got Diego and Five getting lost in the subway and them bonding and becoming besties calvin and hobbes style instead

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"If the Hargreeves had phones every season would end in two episodes!" Babe if there were cell phones in the Umbrella Academy it would be so much worse. Not a single person in that house is capable of conveying information in a coherent manner. Diego has them all blocked. Viktor only listens to his voicemail in bulk once a month. Five developed his own shorthand during the apocalypse that he truly thinks is coherent to other human beings (it is not). Luther, by nature of who he is, absolutely Does Not Text for any reason and keeps calling the others. Klaus is carrying at least four conversations in the same thread at any given point in time. Even if they all managed to remember that they owned phones (unlikely) and then proceeded to convey relevant information in a timely fashion (even less likely), not a single one of them would figure it out. Allison could probably muster the braincells necessary but would not under any circumstances manage to stay on task long enough to do anything about it. Phones would absolutely not help with anything at all.

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Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...may I present the de-evolution of Number Five Hargreeves and his weapons:

Exhibit A: Bad-ass, feral, using whatever is within reach, not giving a shit about proper handling, a weapon is basically an extension of his body Five Hargreeves

Exhibit B: Cliche, cheesy cop-show character, follows all protocol and direct orders, no emotion, all out of ammo and all out of ideas Five Hargreeves

[a-single-anonymous-duck]

Okay, I take back my original “how I wanted TUA to end” that I made a week ago and instead I want this:

The siblings realise the world keeps ending because they’re all in the same timeline. So in order to distribute the marigold, and save the end of the world, they all have to sacrifice being a family and never see each other again.

It ends with each sibling one by one (Lila and deigo come as a pair, I don’t make the rules) as they board the subway, each to their very own timeline in which the other family members don’t exist.

It’s heartbreaking, and for a family that were split and torn at the beginning of the series, the choice being made for them is even more heartbreaking because they’re a family now more than ever. But as they board the subway, we see a montage of them all in their HAPPY timelines, the beats of “I think we’re alone now” start playing and we realise, while the Hargreeves siblings finally have their happy ending, they are in fact, alone now. Cut to black. Cue BTS images.

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this post has me in shambles

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diego said five had that cia job for years. are you telling me little 13 year old five walked into the cia building with no resume or anything and they just gave him that job??? with no birth certificate or anything cause he just spawned in that new timeline??? goals honestly i need his mindset

[a-single-anonymous-duck]

I remember liking Five Hargreeves so much because of how unique his character was. The nuances in the way he thinks, acts and actually feels inside. The tsundere vibes of “I love you and I will protect you but you will never hear it from me”. 60 years old man stuck in a kid’s body, all that rage pent up in a tiny body and a kid’s face. Five was an all in all very interesting character that lives in the gray area.

Then season 4 went and butchered that. He’s now a brooding character who decided to run away and get stuck in the timeline because he’s emo that his love life failed. Acting exactly like how a person in early 20s would instead of acting like the 60 years old man he is.

His dynamics used to vary depending on which siblings he hangs out with. Remember Season 1 Five with Diego? Season 3 Five with Klaus? Season 3 Five with Viktor? Etc etc… then boom in season 4 it is as if those dynamics did not exist. Lmao.

RIP to a well written, gray, nuance, and beautifully complicated character. Now destroyed, ripped into pieces, and burnt to the ground (literally).

[a-single-anonymous-duck]

so, I started watching the umbrella academy