a-queer-child-of-chaos

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

wat do u cal a reptile smoking weed

a mariguana

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

Remember Luigi is currently innocent

Couldn't Be Any Conflict

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

@ people who don't celebrate christmas and are currently having christmas shoved down their throats

i hope whatever holiday you celebrate is fun and well!! and if you don’t celebrate any holidays this time of year, i hope your day is nice anyways!

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

they make me SICK

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

I made a meme

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

gender is a performance and I’m on unpaid leave for punching a kid in the face

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

can you imagine chuckling at none pizza with left beef and then living through the death of humanity and resurrecting a chunk of it and becoming a god figure to the new society you create and then 10,000 years later referencing it in conversation to a horribly traumatized teenager who has no possible frame of reference for this ancient meme that no one else alive has ever heard of

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

one good thing about december on this hellsite is that this gif will be making its rounds again

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

"it's ok for labels to change as you learn more about yourself" and "i hope with every fiber of my being that I'm right about being aroace and nobody will come along to change my mind because I hate the idea of being in a romantic relationship or conforming to gender roles or heteronormativity" are two sentences that can and should coexist.

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

“Hey! yeah, I’m great!” I say, as tears stream down my face

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

How r u out here being homophobic and still writing mpreg 😭

Those are two entirely separate things. But I guess I couldn’t expect someone like you to understand that.

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

let's recap what we've learned about the United States in the last few days.

things that are terrorism:

allegedly shooting a healthcare CEO whose company generated more pure profit (not revenue, profit) in a year than the GDP of 94 countries, exclusively by denying coverage to people who pay for it

a 42-year-old mother of 2 using the wrong combination of 7 words during a heated conversation with a call center employee at a health insurance company who was in the process of denying her health coverage.

things that are not terrorism:

mass shooting in a Black church to incite a race war

going to a BLM protest specifically to kill protestors

a neo-nazi running over a crowd of people, killing a woman

targeting and killing 23 latinos in an el paso, texas walmart

killing 12 people in a theatre, shooting 58 others, rigging your apartment with explosives

a QAnon groyper killing 7 and shooting ~50 at a 4th of July parade

killing 3 people and shooting several others at a Planned Parenthood in defense of the unborn

stalking someone relentlessly and then killing them and their child despite months of the victim making police reports

any one of the 1,200 murders committed by US police yearly, the vast majority being minorities

tightening your border while ~100 immigrants (including children) drown every year in the Rio Grande

United Healthcare killing an unnknowable number of elderly people by using faulty AI to deny medically necessary coverage

Aetna killing a woman by refusing to cover her cancer care

Blue Cross killing a 6-year-old by denying her appendicitis surgery

Cigna killing a 17-year-old child by denying her liver transplant

the pharmaceutical industry killing half a million people with opioids in the name of producing revenues in 2023 that rivaled the GDPs of countries like Spain, Mexico, and Australia.

the United States killing 45,000 people a year because they can't access health coverage

make sure you keep this guide handy the next time you find yourself interacting with your insurance company or any other millionaire, billionaire, or an individual who is part of a protected class such as a CEO or president of a corporation.

[a-queer-child-of-chaos]

Gordon Ramsey fursona reveal!