a-la-lune-et-retour
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i
don’t write poetry or stream of consciousness or whatever the hell these ramblings were once upon a time anymore But this is the first time in a Long Time that I have met someone (a boy) who is worthy of words like mine So I think about the sounds that meet in the back of your throat and how they make their way into the world, softly, only for you and me to hear, because God forbid anyone else hear you speak And I think about the way a cigarette looks in your hand and in your mouth, being lit in the cigarette lighter of your truck, speaking smoked r e a l slow, how you’re always late to pick me up because you need a smoke break first Then I try to remember and count all the times you put your arm around me, dipped me, held my hand, looked me in the eyes - because, those times are fewer and blurrier (thank you, Jack Daniels) but I want them to be more and I want them to be clearer But I realize that we’ve got a whole lot of time left: to stay up late and smoke cigarettes and talk in different languages and eat French fries out of a styrofoam tray and trade stories about our past lives and lock eyes and say “It’s you”
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@ArianaGrande: y'all being the “sisterhood” mentioned at the end….. love u
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you kind of suck
but I still cannot shake the feeling of missing you and your touch and your car and your incessant communication because when someone inserts himself into your life and doesn't do it in a lukewarm, half-hearted way and then leaves in a decidedly not lukewarm, half-hearted way - it hurts. It hurts like a bitch, to know that he's over it and on to the next girl and the tangled limbs on a blue couch when my parents are out of town are finished. I am admitting, that it hurt to have you run away, without a word or hint, but then again didn't I know it would happen eventually? My advice for you is to stop talking about being best friends forever and Malibu beach houses because saying things without meaning them is the worst. After all of this maybe I really do hate you, but not in the facetious way
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Henri Mattise, Landscape At Collioure, 1905
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