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if I had a wrestling persona they would be part demon part pharmacist and their name would be DVS (like CVS but pronounced Devious) and their catchphrase would be Welcome To The Harmacy

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When a plane rolls over it means it wants belly rubs.

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This week Jacob and Ally really said we’re talking about mpreg whether Vic wants to or not

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So. I’ve been laughing about this like all day and I need to talk about it. My gay ship just went canon in the most male power fantasy game of all time.

Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 recently released (I’ve been playing it, it’s good). It’s an RPG set in medieval Bohemia. You play as Henry, a blacksmith’s son. The first game, released back in 2018, starts with your village being burned to the ground and everyone either is killed or has to flee. The rest of that game is you trying to, among various things, deal with your trauma and get revenge. It’s a very well executed story in my opinion.

A notable character in the game is Lord Hans Capon, who was a real guy but the game version is a bit loosely based on him. Hans and Henry become rivals then friends. Their noble/peasant dynamic is reminiscent of Arthur and Merlin in BBC Merlin (though I would argue the class dynamics are far better executed and more nuanced). Like ten people including me decided to ship them.

The first game was a bit rough but overall good. It garnered a decent audience, including a notably large audience of straight white men who really like medieval history but not enough to know much about it beyond swords are cool. You get the picture.

The second game is announced. Those guys I mentioned are super excited!

Well. As it turns out there’s going to be a homosexual relationship in the game, according to an announcement made by the director at the end of January. Uh oh. W-well as long as it’s not the main character-

Cue release day, February 4th. IT IS!!!

HANS AND HENRY. It’s THEM! They have sex ON SCREEN. No nuance about it (though it’s important to note this is an option you have to CHOOSE).

The guys go crazy. KCD has gone woke they cry. And to make it worse there’s *gasp* a black man in a Bohemian court! DEI!

I can’t believe Warhorse Studios did it. I’m genuinely amazed. I have never been so vindicated in my life.

Everyone play this game for the love of god. The combat is tough but there’s plenty of guides online. It’s worth it I promise.

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In case you aren’t familiar, Michael Scott Moore and David Rohde are both journalists. Moore was held by Somali pirates for 977 days. Rohde was held captive by the Taliban for 7 months after being abducted in Afghanistan.

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Sire, the woodland gnomes have pledged 10 apples to our cause

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reblog to squeeze prev's ass

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i just want to hang out with these 3 cunts

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Because there is a huge amount of variation in when sexual people become interested in sex, many people don't really experience being Horny Teens and don't get Horny until adulthood.

I've noticed that especially in discussions of media aimed at teens, these people tend to assume their experience is the norm. This leads to the assumptions that A. teens are primarily encountering adult/sexual content against their wishes and B. anything horny-related marketed to teens must be the result of gross adult projection and sexualization.

It's fine that you weren't a horny teen but like. Most teens are horny. It is one of the most established facts about that stage of brain development. The overwhelming majority of teens who are interacting with adult content online, or reading smutty YA books, or watching oversexed teen dramas, etc. or hell even watching hardcore porn, are doing so on purpose because they find it pleasurable. That doesn't mean there can't possibly be negative effects from teens interacting with sexual content (there are MANY things human beings do on purpose, for pleasure, that are bad for us!) especially depending on the age of the teen and the type of content. But like. The conversation does have to start from a basic understanding of the typical teen's agency and motivations in that scenario.

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This will never NOT be funny

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