79522114149

[79522114149]

what would someone who writes write about in a blog? i've gone so far off the deep end in trying to be abstract with my words to somewhat soothsaying to riddles to simple to mixed and i've seen some great work through the years if i would have to give it a percentage about 20-35 percent of what i wrote would be considered great and at least 15 would be better than what is considered the best, i feel at par if not a bit more chaotically original with robert frost an edgar allan poe i don't write horror but i used to and that was probably some of the best years of my life, once i came back from my imagination everything seemed bland and safe and now i have trouble going outside. i guess ill just use this as a dump station for my thoughts that does not mean i want my work copied but all what i consider great will remain in my thoughts until ready to be published or implicated which yes i know i am 27 no diploma and 50k in debt by 28 im confident ill catch up on the past 10 years i've lost to bad decisions recovery which to this day i do not feel guilty about and that being said i have felt guilt constantly until i realized i survived what would have probably killed others, i might believe in god i might not im not sure whos sales pitch seems not only better but based in truth, i hope its not what some say that science and religion are just two different languages saying the same thing, foolish followers throw rocks through windows and claim they are saving the race, as if we were the first or the last who knows i really wish i knew but maybe the desire of truth is a vice in itself a wretched horrible thing which has brung nothing but uncertainty fear and guilt for walking down a road with no sight i hope i take the right turns i feel as if not just my soul but the soul of entire legions rests within me waiting to be saved, i hope i bring what was intended of me, will i meet greatness in the way hollywood sales it or is a ratty old shake on the edge of a beach with or without a few who adore me is the heaven i'm actually chasing, is marijuana enough or have i been substituting happiness too long i've forgotten what it truly feels like. i need to forget what came before and focus on what will be i hate when people say be in the present and be in the now it feels like they're trying to keep my soul from experiencing what it could if it only believed and desired what if they sold of the fantasy of flying so we'd forget about our ability to travel through space, time, dimensions and who knows what else, how could you say you believe in history and not believe that everything around you is just your generations version of what others came and will come to see claiming their truth different from yours is the correct one, maybe thats the trap the belief that our intuition is not enough as if we just thought hard enough we would find the information flowing through our genetic code instructing our muscles the way fighters teach their muscles to remember combinations in times of stress like sleepless warrior killing in the name of freedom like others killing in the names of their gods, i seem to be disgusted by the repetitive actions like war and how rises bring collapses, or is that what they sold us so we the rest will make sense, is rome still running things? theres not a single place where i am not followed, people seem to be so obsessed with me they're spending others time and money they've stolen from others.