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6-6-6-6-6-6-me-blog · 6 years ago

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I remember the day I first came into the studio with 5. he had to leave for some reason and

We were left alone I dont remember but you showed me your your artwork and I said how much I liked it and I got some of mine out to show and you liked it too

And you wanted me to drink

and out of your glass but I didnt want to because well I wasnt sure if you

were HIV + or not and you got angry and stormed and raged and so I just had to keep saying sorry, that Id leave, everything I said sorry

i asked for some stuff because i started getting panicked needed to calm down needed it really a lot, a lot

you were nice to me after that but I was alwasys scared I hated you for long youwere so forward and it was hard sometimes to get away, I think your art is shit but were fine I guess fine

But I always remember not drinking from your glass, scared of what youd infect me with

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6-6-6-6-6-6-me-blog · 6 years ago

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Closed Corner. Montevideo, Uruguay.

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6-6-6-6-6-6-me-blog · 6 years ago

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I know

I know who I am now

I am excited by being included in The Group

Really I do want success more than the others - they take no notice because I’m the youngest and they feel like they look after me but I swear to god I am just as good and just as deserving and I hide it but truly no one needs it more than me

I was picked on at school for being how I was and I will show them I will make something of myself I will to show them what cunts they were

I am nice to everyone in The Group but I do harbour so many feelings I don’t say

I miss my family and I have no clue where they are now - probably still in that corner of Wigan I left them in - but I do miss them and I am scared I wont get to see them again

I am a user - I always will be - I’m clean now but I know Im too far gone with it now I know I am

I miss the days when we were all younger I do I miss when we had fun before She got where she got to and ruined us and made us all toxic evil resentful people

I hate that I cant get my words out

I hate how clingy i come across to the Group - they dont realise how much I need this how muych I need them

I want to get fucked up right now, I wont but I do, anything to stop this feeling of going nowhere

I lie, i do and its awful but I lie and I will do it to get out of any level of shit I always have done

I want to meet someone one day who will take me out of all this I know I need success so badly that it means that I need to have it or have none of it- I need to find someone who makes it worth giving it all up for

I want to cover myself in people all the time but I dont

People dont know the things I want to do with them sometimes ive kept it all to myself

I want 1 to dominate me ive always wanted that

I feel like im bottom of the pile

I like the rain i think a lot about it and when it is raining

black and white is what looks good now its right now but there was so much colour in everything we did back then

the counsellor telling me I have dependency issues scared me

I miss my grandad

I used to get so excited when he’d show me his latest pictures whenever I feel like im going under sometimes thats the thing that stops me

i want my life to be a movie

i hate it being the one just to document their work

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6-6-6-6-6-6-me-blog · 6 years ago

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sat in the loft room today and worked on my photos. I want everything to go back to how it used to be. All that time ago, what have these last 10 years been? I mean yes lots of work with the campaigners following the crisis; and yes we all care so much about that.

But I can’t help but think what all this is going to mean when it’s all over and done with. When there is a cure. When we have no more purpose.

I remember back in the days just after school. And we’d just got that new place and we were all together, in that tiny crib- walking all together every morning to that first studio we shared on the corner. That first morning we brought all our things there to that shaded, dull studio and within moments we were lighting it up with colours and lights and ourselves. And we were making things, and we were terrified but it wasn’t all about success back then for any of us. We did it because we wanted it- we wanted us all to succeed. no one in it for themselves. Now you can’t not be in .it for yourself for fucks sake it’s been like this for so klong now, we play like everything is just fine and were all together in whatever way we are but really none of it is real is it. I can see now ever since Her became what she is today no one else ever wants anyone else to succeed not unless its them.

And Sally is getting worsee and worse in the hospice and okay YES we all care but there is the slightest

and its awful its a fucking awful feeling but i cant shake the fact that whilst we do care for her and we gfo there and we look after her i cant help but think that once she goes - and she will go - it’s any day now - itll be like one less person out for competition and I long to see which one of us descends onto her personal belongings to make some art with it just like Her did after Ray. and the thing is is that I can’t even trust that ~I wouldnt either. We all would have done it. Thats the truth, the honest truth we all would have done it - she just thought of it first and this resentment we have towards her is not because of our care for Ray but it is in fact JEALOUSY because she fucking thought of it first.

I do feel like I’m losing my mind over it all- I been clean now for months and im dying for a bit just a little bit I look around and theres none here and I just turn to doing this instead, no one carries anymore and thats good but not today

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6-6-6-6-6-6-me-blog · 6 years ago

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Leaving

East Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY 2019.

CONTAX T3 | Fuji Provia 100f

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6-6-6-6-6-6-me-blog · 6 years ago

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Airlines.

San Francisco, 2018.

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6-6-6-6-6-6-me-blog · 6 years ago

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The prints from my solo exhibition ‘Mad Coincidental’ at the Niznhy Tagil Museum of Fine Art have been back for a while now but I’ve been too busy to install them and make a post until now. I’m pretty stoked on how they turned out - again A2 prints (16.5x23.4”) on 150GSM paper, all hand numbered 1/1 and signed. Pricing is negotiable.

All prints available can be seen on my site at https://seanklingelhoefer.com/project/acceptance

I’ll also be spamming my IG stories (@seanklingelhoefer) so brace yourselves. Huge thanks again to curator Evgeny Komuhin (IG @komukhin) - without him none of this would be possible, I’m very grateful he stumbled upon the work 🙏

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6-6-6-6-6-6-me-blog · 6 years ago

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3 joins

> after being around us for a while 2 and 1 are making 3 an official member of The Group

> she seems nice enough to me and she does put on some good work and it is nice having someone around that is newer than me maybe now she’ll be the one that goes out and makes the coffee for everyone or goes out to get the food for everyone

> but they have taken to her very well, she’s been out with us a lot recently and shes spent enough time in the studio as it is maybe they just thought why not

> Her is probably 3′s closest but 1 and 2 see her potential, their work is very similar, Her’s and 3′s I mean. But with Her getting all this recognition recently I I I i i I don’t know like maybe 3 sees Her as a kind of inspiration.

> I’m certain she slept with 5 as well. The more I think about her actually she is vapid. completely and 2 and 1 didn’t take to my work in the same way they’ve taken to hers. In the early days when I first joined they said how much of an asset i’d be to all of them recording their journey as a group and keeping a log of the whole thing but now now now, maybe they never saw value in my work at all maybe this whole fucking time they just needed some stupid cunt to hold a camera and stay out of everyone’s way the absolute cuntssssssssssss honestly if it wasn’t for 4 I’d go I swear to CHRIST I would just fucking go they say they think I’m talented but we’re not a group how can we be a group if I’m scared of 1 if I can see how fucking poisonous 2 really is how much of an unreliable wanker 5 can be

>NO she has NO Idea what the fuck she is doing by joining this group of twatsw no fucking clue this group fucking kills you it fucking breaks you down because ever since Her has been getting more acclaim for her work and Ray died and she used his shit everyone has seen what success can do and I know, I FUCKING know she isn’t going to stick around with us for much longer at this rate. I know I wouldn’t, everyone can see what happens when your friend starts getting successful and seeing her going off and “I’ll be back tomorrow, just doing an interview” stupid cow. But now I see we’d all be the same. We stay together because we have no where to go

> We stay together because we have nowhere to go, and I know I’m not as good as them or as talented but they are not above me Thety do the same shit I do, and I am giood just the other day I oprobhably took the best photo I;’ve ever taken and what did 1 say? “the line could’ve been better” not feeling just nothing just talking about the line, the angle that’s NOT what art is about come the fuck on

> 4 has been no better, we were so fucking close and now she’s juyst getting more and more fucked up and doesn’t care and still putting on like she does so muych

>I’ve got to get out I’ve got to get out of this, I will not be some fucking diary-boy for this incestuous, festering, dying group of wankers.

> GOOD LUCK 3 I hope this group doesn’t kill you like it’s killing me

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6-6-6-6-6-6-me-blog · 6 years ago

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