4dznsalamanders

[4dznsalamanders]

bro we're so fucked they just integrated a ticking clock into the background music

[4dznsalamanders]

[4dznsalamanders]

[4dznsalamanders]

Reminder for all of my USAmerican mutuals and followers:

Outlive the bastard running this country. The internet will be so funny when he dies. And we can't let him win, he doesn't deserve the satisfaction. I believe in yall.

[4dznsalamanders]

bro your whimsy. you forgot your fucking whimsy. your solemn and somber attitude is scaring the hoes

[4dznsalamanders]

A goblin and an elf have decided to defy tradition and get married. Their ceremony will be held in the magical forest in accordance with elven tradition.

[4dznsalamanders]

[4dznsalamanders]

Hello and Happy New Year \o/!

I'm here to tell you about a silly fabriz teacher au where Riz and Fabian are the Professor Brickwall and Professor Oversharer that few students know are actually married with two kids.

Riz is essentially a TA at Aguefort. There to grade assignments, proctor exams and tests, and train the rogues' martial techniques. Leading by example, none of the Rogue students know anything about Professor Gukgak. It's a feat to even find out his first name is Riz. He wears a couple of rings, but never any on his ring finger. (It’s dangerous in his line of work for anyone to know that you're happily married.)

No pictures of anyone on his desk. None as his crystal's wallpaper. Nothing. Rumour is that he never leaves the school since, once, one of the senior rogues came in early and caught him in Eugenia's office already. Looking as if he'd slept over.

And it's not like he's a offputting or anything! He seems to get along fine with the other staff members and his professor evaluations always come back with high praises. Which has led to a general consensus among Aguefort Rogues that Professor Gukgak must be a quintessential Rogue with a tragic backstory that led to him having no family or friends. Leaving them to believe that Professor Gukgak must be a very lonely man.

On the other hand, ALL of the Aguefort Dance Bard and Fighter Multiclass students know about Mr. Seacaster's (Call me, Fabian!) darling Husband and Kids. Not a class goes by where Fabian doesn't mention or gush about his absolutely wonderful family. They know that his husband is a coffee-loving workaholic detective that he's been with since high school. They know that they have two kids, Briar and Revel, but they also know that those aren't their true names because Fabian’s husband observes Fey superstitions.

Though he never shows anyone any photos (he respects his husband's want of privacy), everyone is convinced that Fabian is essentially a romance book heroine that charmed a brooding Fae Prince on a Spring Break Quest into coming back to Elmville with him and is now living his happily ever after.

Of course, hardly any students have noticed an old Senior Prom couple photo hung up in the school's foyer of a much younger Professor Gukgak and Mr. Seacaster wearing matching suits and two halves of a BFF heart necklace.

Honestly Riz is SO disappointed in his rogue students. ALL THE CLUES ARE THERE. He even kept that photo in the foyer as a hint but no-one as pieced it together yet. Hell, there's a standing assignment to find out details about his life and write up a report but NOPE, NOTHING YET.

He's usually in at school early because 1) he still doesnt sleep as much as he's supposed to and 2) Fabian also gets up disgustingly early for training.

[4dznsalamanders]

i think the near-extinction of people making fun, deep and/or unique interactive text-based browser games, projects and stories is catastrophic to the internet. i'm talking pre-itch.io era, nothing against it.

there are a lot of fun ones listed here and here but for the most part, they were made years ago and are now a dying breed. i get why. there's no money in it. factoring in the cost of web hosting and servers, it probably costs money. it's just sad that it's a dying art form.

anyway, here's some of my favorite browser-based interactive projects and games, if you're into that kind of thing. 90% of them are on the lists that i linked above.

A Better World - create an alternate history timeline

Alter Ego - abandonware birth-to-death life simulator game

Seedship - text-based game about colonizing a new planet

Sandboxels or ThisIsSand - free-falling sand physics games

Little Alchemy 2 - combine various elements to make new ones

Infinite Craft - kind of the same as Little Alchemy

ZenGM - simulate sports

Tamajoji - browser-based tamagotchi

IFDB - interactive fiction database (text adventure games)

Written Realms - more text adventure games with a user interface

The Cafe & Diner - mystery game

The New Campaign Trail - US presidential campaign game

Money Simulator - simulate financial decisions

Genesis - text-based adventure/fantasy game

Level 13 - text-based science fiction adventure game

Miniconomy - player driven economy game

Checkbox Olympics - games involving clicking checkboxes

BrantSteele.net - game show and Hunger Games simulators

Murder Games - fight to the death simulator by Orteil

Cookie Clicker - different but felt weird not including it. by Orteil.

if you're ever thinking about making a niche project that only a select number of individuals will be nerdy enough to enjoy, keep in mind i've been playing some of these games off and on for 20~ years (Alter Ego, for example). quite literally a lifetime of replayability.

[4dznsalamanders]

Hate how lighting a candle does wonders to my mood. Like wowwww. Grug like fire? Grug not sad anymore because Fire in Cave? Wow. Real predictable of Grug.

[4dznsalamanders]

we got shower crayons

[4dznsalamanders]

youtube is pulling this bullshit again

praying for the firefox gods to save me once more...

[4dznsalamanders]

"You think you're informed just because you read a bunch of grainy PDFs?"

Yeah man. Reading scholarly works on a topic informs you on that topic. That's how this works.

[4dznsalamanders]

A Bug’s Life, 1998

[4dznsalamanders]

mutuals lets do this

[4dznsalamanders]

[4dznsalamanders]

greencough will kill the patient, the patient will need catmint to live