40yrolddivorce-blog

[40yrolddivorce-blog]

The beginning

I don’t normally do social media with the exception of a few posts here and there for work or school so please forgive me for any communication faux-pas.

Let’s start with some background information that led me to create this blog.  

My now ex-partner and I are separating after 13 yrs of being together.  We have a beautiful 6 yr old son and I’m assuming the separation is like most, messy and stressful.  

We’re not married but here in Canada there’s not much difference between married and common-law and for the purpose of this series of stories I’ll use the term divorce and separation interchangeably.  The “divorce” has been officially going on for approximately 7 months and we’re still in limbo as to what will happen (house, spousal support, who takes what, etc.)  The negotiations are being dealt with by our lawyers and we’re doing a lot of back and forth with little progress.  Needless to say it’s getting worst the longer this goes on.  

Ok so here is where it starts getting interesting...

Did I mention we still live together?  Yup, that’s right...We’re in separate rooms but we still come and go as this is our only dwelling and one of us moving out is not an option due to the increase cost.  

My ex, let’s call her Natalie, now has a girlfriend  we’ll call her Dorothy and the relationship seems pretty serious (we’re lesbians after all, these things happen quickly!).  I’m happy for her and hope it all works out however it appears that her girlfriend’s life has been spilling into mine and I’m not okay with it.  Over the next postings I’ll share a list of events that I find funny yet slightly disturbing and at times made me angry or upset.  I’m hoping the exercise of writing my story will help me process my emotions positively.

Hold on to your cocktails cause this is going to be an interesting read!

[40yrolddivorce-blog]

Take 2!

I’m putting my original homemade hair paste back in the double boiler in an attempt at thickening it.  Once the oils melted, I added a tbsp of both beeswax and arrowroot powder and mixed well till the new beads of wax melted and the powder mixed into the solution.   

The end product gave me a thinker consistency but we will have to see about the hold.  

[40yrolddivorce-blog]

My first attempt at hair paste using beeswax, shea butter and jojoba oil.  I’ll modify the recipe to include arrowroot powder for increase hold and post the results shortly.

[40yrolddivorce-blog]

How many chemicals are in your hair paste?

According to EWG Skin Deep, an Environmental Working Group who uses the power of information to protect human health and the environment, personal care products are manufactured with over 10,500 different chemical ingredients.  Many of those have been proven to affect our nervous and reproductive system with other chemicals not yet tested.  

Recently, I purchased hair paste and was astounded at the number of ingredients it contained that was unfamiliar to me.  I went on the computer and typed in the product in the OWG database to learn how the environmental group rated it’s safety.  Wowzers, was I ever surprised to find out my sculpting hair product rated 8th on a scale of  1 to 10, 10 being the highest levels of chemicals present.  

This led me to this post.  Having some vanity flaws, I feel I can’t leave my home without putting a little effort in styling my hair.  I have shorter hair and without some styling I look like one of the members of the Beatles.  This is how I came to find a recipe I can easily make at home that will give me the same hold as my store bought paste but without the harmful chemicals and as a bonus I get to scent it the way I like.  Click here for the recipe from Mommypotamus.

The paste turned out a bit oily and I prefer it with more hold but the beauty with this recipe is I can modify it.  All I have to do is place everything back in the double boiler and add more beeswax and some arrowroot powder to increase pliability.  I also used cedarwood and lime essential oils to give it a nice fragrance.  Give it a try and let me know how it worked for you.

[40yrolddivorce-blog]

Whipped body lotion made in minutes

[40yrolddivorce-blog]

Moisturizing whipped body lotion recipe

With the winter weather approaching, my hands have started their annual ritual of drying up and cracking at the folds.  This is a painful reminder that I need to double up on the lotion action and what best than to lather up with a rich naturally moisturizing cream made right at home without all the harmful chemicals from the big brand creams.

Over the years I’ve tried several recipes I’ve found online and have modified them to create my own version.  This is a very easy recipe and can be made withing minutes.  Have a hand blender on hand with the whipping attachment to make this cream faster and easier.  Here’s the recipe:

1 cup of shea butter

1/2 cup of coconut oil

1/4 cup of sweet almond oil

1/4 of olive oil

Place all ingredients in a double boiler over heat till all the oils have melted.  Remove from the stove, wait for the oils to cool down enough to touch before whipping it into what will look like whipped cream.  Put cream in a container and keep in a cool dry place.  

And there you have it.  This cream can be used everywhere on the body and not just on hands.  It will be a bit oily at first but within minutes your skin will soak it all up.  Bring it on Winter!