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minecraft yoshi horse, ok?

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ai powered cigarette that keeps track of stats and you can see other smokers scores

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i just beefed with someone online and I got tired of it so I said "I ate some really good blueberries today" and they replied "I had a fire ass peach today". world peace

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PLEASE let me put your camera in my mouth i promise i wont bite you and chomp you and shake you and drag you to a freezing watery grave pleas please please i am just a friendly sea doggy i will only engulf your camera in my jaws and not anything else (lying)

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Transcript:

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM.

THE MACHINE.

I CAN FIX HIM.

NO REALLY I CAN.

Audio Source

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wonderful pair of posts on the dash tonight

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well life just isnt fucking fair is it humpback whale 85

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tumblr bitch: liking creepypasta makes you a freak!

me: **growls really hard**

jeff: its ok theyre just jealous babe…

me: i know jeff, i know

slendy: **slaps my fat juicy ass**

me: NOT NOW SLENDY JEFF AND I ARE HAVING A MOMENT

slendy: youre so boring **murders a whole family**

me: **sighs**

police: **en route**

jeff: **the killer**

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i remember when i was a child internet safety was like "if you even hint at the country you live in, you're gonna get kidnapped and murdered", and nowadays it is encouraged or even necessary to give corporations every single personal detail if you want to use anything because if they can't sell your information they cry so hard they throw up

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they dont do recency bias like they used to

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ordering a pup cup for my chikorita in lumiose

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