2en2e

[2en2e]

I’m not used to being loved. I wouldn’t know what to do.

F. Scott Fitzgerald, ”More Than Just A House” (via wordsnquotes)

[2en2e]

I get jealous really easily but not like an angry vengeful jealous more like a really sad lonely jealous because everybody likes everybody more than they like me and I really really don’t blame them. 

[2en2e]

I want to be alone…with someone else who wants to be alone.

Dimitri Zaik (via help-n-quotes)

[2en2e]

all of you are pu22yfootiing around and ii’m tiired of iit. iif 2he’2 goiing to be 2hiit let her clean your hand2 and ju2t let her be eviil. 

[2en2e]

that guy ii2 a liiteral po2. 

[2en2e]

my heart hurt2 and ii cant make iit 2top becau2e iit’2 an open wound. 

[2en2e]

kii dii2appeared and left me two deal wiith all my emotiion2 my2elf on my own and ii don’t blame hiim becau2e he ha2 everythiing he need2 now but he 2et up th2e2 barriier2 between cn and ii and that’2 completely effected our relatiion2hiip and now the ramifiicatiion2 of that are kiilliing me. 

ii hate my2elf even more.  ii hate what ii do even more. ii hate how ii am even more. 

why diidn he ju2t tell me. he 2aiid that we 2hould break up but he never told me that iit wa2 becau2e iit wa2 that or abandonment ii triied my be2t two pretend that everythiing wa2 okay for a whiile but iit’2 not. 

that’2 fucked me up and now iim que2tiioniing everythiing and that fuckiing hurt2. 

[2en2e]

ii wa2 2o focu2ed on how kii fucked cn over but ii don’t thiink ii ever got over how kii dii2appeared on me and how that fucked me up. 

[2en2e]

[2en2e]

[2en2e]

do you ever ju2t fuck up.

[2en2e]

ii can't 2tand me 2o how could anyone el2e.

[2en2e]

though ii al2o 2o often don't 2top thiinkiing at just that and ii end up becomiing a me22 liike ii am now.

a lot of the thing2 are like am ii ju2t beiing kept around? do ii really 2atii2fy cn? ii2 he actually happy wiith me? wouldn't cn be better off wiith 2omeone who ii2n't me. ii2 hiigher blood. or not a p2iioniic. or not broken 2o much a2 ii am? or am ii mii2under2tandiing hii2 love for me? iit 2eemed 2o playful before but now everythiing ii2 2eriiou2 and iit2 my fault.

iim afraiid that any 2traw ii2 goiing two be the la2t one and ii'll be kicked out and left alone. or iitll be the la2t tiime ii dii2appoiint hiim. or do 2omethiing wrong among all the other thiing2 iive done wrong by hiim.

ii'm alway2 ju2t 2iittiing on thii2 fear that the per2on ii love 2o much ii2 ju2t keepiing me along a2 a joke.

[2en2e]

ii thiink that too 2ometiime2 iit ju2t happen2.

[2en2e]

ii haven’t talked iin length two karkat iin a whiile and ii thiink that iit2 a lot better for my mental health. 

[2en2e]

ii can’t even do that becau2e iit2 rii2ky and ii have wiiggler2 2o what the fuck am ii 2uppo2ed two do beiing mentally iill and fuckiing hatiing my2elf for beiing a piiece of 2hiit? hmm???? 

[2en2e]

iim ju2t downriight a bad fuckiing per2on no matter what ii do of how hard ii try to do what’2 riight.