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244simp · 11 months

Text

say you love me.

synopsis. after being in an arranged marriage with an arrogant + selfish man, you never realised how much he cared for you even if he was away.

pairings. slightly mean!ricky x fem!reader

warnings. swearing, slightly suggestive.

word count. 5k

general taglist. @forsobeans , @lvieee

“where are you?”

the only sound you could hear was the sound of the engines car cutting through the wind. it’s wheels hitting the road, the low volume of the radio coming in as a mix. having a sudden driver that was sent by your parents pulled up right in front of your house, casually saying that you need to go in and to not be late for the special meeting they said. playing with your phone, your cold hands meeting the device, soon as an incoming call from your father came up.

“i’m on the way, in another,” you took a peek at the window, “ten minutes.”

and with that, you ended the call, placing your phone on your lap when a text notification from your father appeared on your phone.

father : tell the driver to hurry. the shen family is already here, we just need you here to get started.

you thought that this meeting was supposed to be just you and your family, turns out it was just another business related thing to be discussed with. groaning at yourself to actually think that your parents finally paid attention to you, letting out a heavy sigh, you turned your phone off. - what’s there to be discussed that involves you?

you’re just a rather normal business woman, daughter of the fourth largest enterprise around the country, known only because of your sister's success for you to only just be her shadow, father’s little maid around the house back then, and mother’s little assistant. so you thought that there's nothing really special about you, only feeling the affection from your parents years ago.

you had entered your parents mansion, locking in the code before entering. the maid opened the door for you just as you were about to type in the pin. seeing the living room with your whole family and the shen family sitting in front of your family. you bowed and greeted the shen family. they all stared and greeted you back.

then your eyes landed at a rather fine and composed man, with his blonde platinum hair, well kept but he just lets it slicked back. there he sat with his legs crossed, repeatedly running his thumb over his lips. he screams success, wealth and more so power.

"there you are y/n, come now and take a seat right beside quanrui," your father soon jumped in, fully entering yourself inside the big study and closing the door behind you.

"we should start talking about why we we all decided to meet up"

youu followed your father’s orders not having any choice, you walked your way beside quanrui, his cool demeanor already suffocating you just by looking at him.

"well are you just gonna stand there?" he soon piped up, probably noticing you staring at him.

"move.” you ordered, voice laced with confidence and not caring if he's the son of the most successful ceo there is to set foot on this planet. he could only smirk by your confidence, not opening his mouth to say anything else. he moved to his side, giving you some space to sit down right beside him.

"great, let's get started." the man behind the desk boomed its voice around the room.

gazing at the man who you assumed was quanrui’s father, the CEO of shen enterprise. he looks a bit like ricky, just without his bleached hair.

“is it fine if we bring both our businesses together to promote our newest ceo of my company and the new chief executive officer?,” he says, “and if you’re both confused by bringing you both together means..”

and that's when it hit you. you weren't marrying just anyone, you were getting married to shen quanrui.

the well known CEO of shen enterprise- korea’s largest manufacturing company and owning up to 50+ brands. he was part of seoul and china’s most powerful businessmen, and even being one of the eligible bachelors. it made you feel small just by sitting right next to him, he was handsome, intoxicating and very much so mysterious.

it was the look that he always gives you to be so weak, wanting to just run away and hide under your covers, his now tall legs spread out before him, it seems like he owns this look, his dark eyes always barging in on your own.

swallowing down the lump in your throat, you stood up in your seat, leaving your purse behind for you to also feel quanrui’s gaze trail you from behind.

"what about us? did you even ask us if we're happy about this arranged marriage? and i don't want to marry a man who i just met! "

you don't know why you're suddenly raising your voice, you just hate the fact that the work you've put yourself through for the past few years is just going to be thrown out the window like it was nothing. you wish your whole adulthood to be free, planning on existing loudly with giving zero cares about the world, yet here you are catching the eyes of your parents and your soon to be husband as well.

"well, i’m going to ask you two now..." quanrui’s mother spoke up, facing her son and you.

"do you want this marriage?"

"no-'

"yes" standing there with great shock, you looked over your shoulder and down at quanrui, now having his arms crossed around his chest, agreeing to this marriage like a business matter.

"very well, we will leave the two of you be, and when we all come back here in this room, the papers should be signed already"

feeling powerless all of a sudden, you can't hear anything, only the sounds of their shoes hitting the well carpeted floors heading out to leave the room.

that's until you felt a hand being placed on your shoulder, looking up you faced your mother, a small yet sweet smile on her lips.

"sign the papers please darling, this would help us rise from being unknown to being known, this would bring happiness to our name, even our reputation would increase…. sign the papers" she finished, eyes watching her leave the room as well.

now here you are with him, the killer silence of the study making your ears hurt. you faced him, a frown sitting on your face making him look at you, smirking. bringing out his own pen, his long slender hands opening his cross pen with his family name engraved in gold.

"why did you say yes?"

"they’ve been talking about this whole marriage ever since i set foot back here, it made my ears hurt, so I said yes to make them stop setting me up with twenty different women already." he shrugged it off, walking his way towards his father's desk where the papers that needed to be signed layed on top.

"are you fine about all of this?" you asked, voice failing to not shake when he turned and faced you.

those eyes stared at you for a moment, noticing them look up and down your body almost like he's studying you.

not knowing the reason why he agreed to get married to somebody like you, a much less known woman when there should be many beautiful girls ahead of you.

"hmm?" he spoke up, hunching down the desk to have a more comfortable position to sign down the papers, watching the way he did it with just one go, no hesitation at all, signing his name with his signature.

"i don't care, i don't want my family name to be dragged down in dirt, and it means i get to see your annoying face every day." he ended, deep voice sounding like honey meets your ears.

you looked at his back facing you, what he said earlier still filled your mind like some hard test, he's fine on helping your parent's company even if it costs his freedom as the CEO to get ruined, you could see it, you could see that he's not ready for all of this. So his family is willing to help yours, you slowly took the pen away from his hands, his own pen caging down your delicate hands, catching him off guard.

he stood there beside you, watching as you signed down the papers with your name and signature right beside his, it's the least thing you could do to make your parents proud, putting your whole life under this piece of paper. he was about to grab his pen back from you, that's when your grip around it tightens, quiet sniffles coming out of you as for his eyes to catch freshly salted tears hit the carpet floors.

shen quanrui didn't know what to do, not the type to comfort somebody that well. are you really sad about this whole marriage?

suddenly there was a grey handkerchief coming close to your vision, looking up, you met his hand extended out to you with his handkerchief sitting on top.

"wipe your tears away it makes you look weak.” he scoffed, waiting for you to take it.

oh, how annoying and stupid is he?

this day was dreadful, here you are standing just before the grand doors of a wedding you never asked for, having to follow your wish to make your parents happy for at least once from you. you felt the weight of your unknown future welcoming you as you began walking down the red carpeted aisle.

all that you have now is yourself, and shen quanrui.

he couldn't help but kiss his teeth, knowing that you're probably feeling way more worse than he is right now, but he was clenching his fists, finding himself to relate.

he grabbed both of your hands, trying to finally comfort you in front of everyone, running his thumb over your knuckles, feeling how cold they are and how warm his hands are. and then the sound of the priest's voice became audible, this word could change everything.

"i pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride.”

the two of you locked eyes for a moment, letting go of your hands as quanrui saw that you were already looking at him, starstruck at first, he felt his world stop moving when he looked deeply in your eyes.

finally seeing your face fully because when the two of you first met which was weeks ago, he didn't get a clear view of your face. his eyes trailed down vour lins awaiting the kiss that will probably feel awkward.

feeling the pads of his thumb wipe away your tears, cupping your cheeks as he leaned in, his intoxicating scent still taking the air away from your lungs.

he suddenly stopped, placing his mouth right next to your ear as he whispered some words deeply.

"don’t make that face, it’ll be fine." and with that, he cupped your cheeks, still feeling tears in the corner of your eyes for him to wipe it away, hating to see you like this now. he pressed his lips with your own, surprisingly they were soft, and he guided you through the kiss by placing a hand behind your back.

still standing there in shock, you inhaled deeply and returned the kiss, you swore you felt him smile through the kiss. finishing off with him running his tongue down your bottom lip. you pulled away, crimson cheeks not afraid to hide when you faced him, holding your hand and intertwining them together. the two of you faced everybody, cheers and smiles everywhere for your eyes to see. you took a quick glance to your side, seeing his smile slowly disappear, his body hugged well by his black ralph lauren tux. it’s the first time you've paid attention to him this whole ceremony, you can't deny the fact that he looks breathtaking.

"do you not get tired eating the same thing over and over again?" you asked the boy in front of you, his attention was simply down at the documents he brought along this trip. it’s been a few days after you got married to the CEO of shen enterprise. a plate of cheesecake present for your husband to dig in deliciously, the two of you agreed to meet at the cafe where you and him would always eat whenever he picks you up after work.

"nope, it's addicting and if i do get tired of eating it, that's when l'm probably dead" he shrugged it off, grabbing a fork and feeding himself another serve.

you could only roll your eyes at him playfully, drifting your attention back outside where the car is up for a show to everyone who walks and drives past it. you furrowed your eyebrows when you heard your him let out a groan, probably because he’s tired of work.

"give me a tissue.” he ordered.

"excuse me?, it's right in front of you" you pointed at the thing he was looking for.

"i can't reach it.” he tiredly responded, leaning back on his chair as he made no efforts on reaching for the tissues.

"i can't believe you.” you gave in and grabbed the pile of tissues but instead of giving it to him properly you threw it straight into his face. instead of saying something, your husband could only laugh, even though he hates seeing your face, he appreciates what you do for him.

“my, what a surprise to see you two here.” a voice barged into the conversation, knowing who it is by heart you and quanrui looked up seeing zhanghao also here, sunglasses on, a suit present for he looks like he just finished shooting another magazine cover, a cup of coffee on hand as he sat himself down the same table with you and ricky.

"what are you doing here, hyung?" quanrui took off first by asking a question to the eyebreaking intruder.

"i just finished doing my rounds of photoshoots and stopped by to grab myself some coffee." the boy could only roll his eyes at his friend.

"oh, so it is true!" zhanghao voice suddenly shocked you, jumping from your seat and you turned and looked at her questionably.

"what is?"

"you got married.” zhanghao eyes can't seem to break away from your wedding ring that quanrui slipped into your ring finger, the shining jewelry glittering under the lights for him to see.

"i thought it was a joke," zhanghao could only bite down his lip, trying his best to not laugh, “since i really thought ricky wasn’t interested in women-”

a smack on the back made the brunette groan and pouted at the younger. you could only laugh and watched the two of them argue.

"i was forced to marry him." you corrected him, turning your head to look at him half heartedly, trying to stay seated and not lose it on zhanghao when he gave you a teasing look.

“sorry for not coming to your wedding. i was in jeju for some work,” zhanghao only nodded, giving you a small smile, “i have to go, a meeting starts in thirty minutes.”

he bids goodbye to the two of you, walking out to his car to drive off back to his own company, leaving both you and ricky in the café.

"can i have your phone?" quanrui suddenly asked, leaning towards the table as he watched you from the front, who was busy looking at the café’s inside interior.

"why?" you were quick to turn around, an eyebrow raised to show confusion by his sudden words.

"just give me it.” he almost sounds like he's whining, leaving you smiling to yourself on how cute he could be even though he's still in his sharp suit.

he's still waiting for your phone. letting out a sigh to roll out of your lips you nodded your head at him.

"it's in my purse.” you trailed off, turning your attention back to the matter of hand which was washing the dishes.

you could've sworn you saw how his face lit up by the moment you said that. his eyes then trailed over to where your purse is, opening it up as he wasted no time to grab your phone, how stupid of him actually to think that he knows the password. when quanrui returns, you're already staring.

"open it"

he gave you your phone, not even asking what's going on, you did as you were told. opening your phone and when you did it was snatched away from your hands immediately from him.

"why do i have such a blank name?" he scrunched his nose, showing you your phone with his contact name on the screen as he scrutinized you.

shen quanrui

"i mean it is your name- wait do you want me to give you a nickname?" you finally picked everything up, eyes brightening with playfulness when you caught ricky biting down his lips.

“yeah, give me a nickname and give me one that's cute" he suggested, giving you back your phone.

the way you looked so serious on picking out a nickname for him made him look at you, never knowing that this would be the two of you together behind closed doors, not what he's expecting at all.

he was expecting that the two of you would just ignore each other, go in each other's throats with pure hatred. you nearly laugh out loud when you look at your finished product, his new nickname really making you smile.

cheescake lover!

you noticed this earlier, whenever he picks you up after work and drags you to café’s, he’s always buy blueberry cheesecake.

"this is cute right?" you showed him his contact name, a teasing smile coming in last.

“yah! i can’t believe you.” he then grabs hold of your hand where your phone sits, quickly snatching your phone away from you, turning his back as he typed something down.

"quanrui!" you almost hit his back when you were trying your best to get it back, that's when he finally turned around resulting in you bumping into his chest. cheeks heating up, you looked up seeing him smiling at himself.

"there." he smiled, giving your phone back.

ricky ♡

the simple yet heart shaking name made the red tint on your cheek worsen, never once getting used to seeing his nickname next to a heart. you heard some of his friends call him this, ricky.

"ricky?" you mumbled under your breath.

"then my name better have a nickname on yours too!" you turned your phone off, putting it deep into your pocket where it's completely out of reach from him.

"of course.” ricky says, getting his own phone out and showing you the nickname he puts on you.

only taking note of how his hand made his phone look smaller in size, there he showed you your name.

y/n ♡

maybe being with him wasn’t that bad, the bad thing was he makes fun of you 24/7.

"y/n?"

you straightened yourself up, breathing out while slowly turning your back away to face him, hearing his voice without him singing made your knees weak, it turned deep, with a dulcet of it meeting you.

"hi" you sheepishly responded, a small smile forming in his lips when he noticed the state you're in, the whole scene looked like some father catching his daughter lurking in the hallway at 12am in the morning.

"putting on an all nighter?" ricky soon broke the silence and with every single time you try to break his gaze he would always catch them with just a simple eye contact, it's his thing, being a CEO and a business man with many words he picked up the trait where he would have to keep an eye contact with the one he's talking to.

"i just finished actually.” you said, trying your best to sound alright despite the fact that you're really tired with half of your work still present in your own office.

"can you look at me, y/n?" there was no pressure in his voice, it's the same soft melodic tone when he promised that he would take care of you down the aisle weeks ago. and when you did, the next thing he did surprised you, placing his index finger in the bottom of your chin with his thumb as a support, he looked deeply into your eyes.

"a penny for your thoughts?" ricky’s voice soon brought you back to reality. his soft gaze settles on your face with his sharp jawline being in full view for your eyes to see, he was firm as he faced you, his lips that's only inches away from your sight made your heart run faster than before.

"it's nothing.” you voiced out with a little bit of strength even though you are indeed feeling a little bit sleepy with the clock ticking away. he only looked at you, gazing at the tired features of your face, his brows began to furrow before you picked out a sigh escaping his lips.

"let's go to bed, yeah?" ricky then stood up, setting his guitar down to its stand as he waited for you, nodding your head the two of you walked out of the music room, the cold marbled floors kissing your feet while you walked behind him, his broad shoulders coming into a view as ricky would sometimes run his hand through his luscious raven hair.

"can i ask you something?" he stopped walking, trying to register everything he just said, downright getting flustered by the sudden question for your liking.

"what is it?"

"nevermind." you mumbled quietly after taking a few seconds to take away your question to the blonde.

"y/n, what is it?" you were speechless for the first time because of him, not even knowing what other words to say. a soft chuckle escaped your lips by his current state, now it's your turn to study him. ricky watched you walk up the stairs to be on the same level as him, getting a quick glimpse of your slightly messy hair, your sweet scent greeting his nose along the way. you then stopped, standing on top of a single step to make yourself taller as it made ricky look up at you, the silence of the room embracing the two of you placidly.

“nothing.”

and with that, you backed up away from the blonde and went inside your shared bedroom.

that was a close call.

——————————————————————————

sitting up as you began removing your hair away from your face, looking at the wall clock, seeing that it's late already. thinking that he's already on his way to work, you got yourself ready for the day and headed down stairs, praising yourself on not getting lost inside ricky’s gigantic house. wanting to do a detour when your eyes landed at ricky eating his breakfast when you arrived at the kitchen, him using his other hand to use his cellphone while the other was busy doing its job on feeding him, sitting on a barstool, he was wearing a red knitted sweater that brings out his jet black hair, still wearing the same sweatpants from last night. you want to walk away and just eat some food outside or order something but your stomach wouldn't last long. you don't know why you're acting like this around him even though he was being surprisingly nice to you, maybe it's because you're new to this sudden change of lifestyle and finally living with somebody, for the past years you would sleep alone with only the darkness as your companion, eating alone only with your fork and spoon.

gathering yourself together you entered the kitchen fully, walking past ricky who had his eyebrow up like he's questioning your presence. still, ignoring him you grabbed two pieces of bread that caught your eyes, you suddenly stopped moving, this is not your kitchen so you don't know where everything else was stored. slapping your stupid brain for not functioning, you suddenly heard a chuckle from behind.

“thought you were lost again,” his voice spoke behind you, “just like the first morning you were here.”

a roll of your eyes made him scoff jokingly, ignoring his words. you took your plate and wanted to eat in the living room. your hand holding the perfectly stacked pancakes on your plate and the other hand holding a cup of orange juice.

"baby." you abruptly stopped in your tracks, the thumping on your chest will not stop anytime now.

when you held your place, he walked over to you and turned you around to face him.

ricky continuously walked closer to you with the result of you backing away slowly, you bumped your back to the sink counter and couldn't move any further away from him. he placed both arms on the counter, in between you for him to cage you in.

a smug smirk slipped ricky’s lips, licking them moist as his eyes settled down on your face.

"baby... you like the nickname? huh?"

"n-no.”

"no?

"yes.” a satisfied laugh soon escaped from the lips of the man in front of you, he just completely played with you.

with a pout of annoyance, you gathered the strength to push his arms away and moved to the side as a quick escape. ricky was surprised at first on how you managed to escape his embrace- was it even an embrace? no, it's a trap. it’s a trap to see how every time you push him away, he pulls you in easily, his eyes that look like it's drinking you slowly.

and that made you not step into the living room. you’d prefer to eat on the dining table anyway. hearing a notification and seeing your phone lit up, an email that was sent from your colleague, kim taerae to you.

"what is it?" a voice came out of nowhere, startling you as your gaze got trapped in ricky who happens to be standing right next to you, a glass of water on hand to show that he already finished eating his breakfast.

"a joint project will happen. the dates are not clear yet, and our boss gave me the authority to take care of it.” you sighed, looking down at your wrist watch to see the time. ricky took the time to steal a quick glance over his shoulder to look at you, a soft smile resting on his lips, almost like he's proud.

"you'll do great.”

"i hope so.?”

"you will.” he started watching the trees sway side to side by the calming blow of the wind, the leaves falling down from its branch swayed to touch the ground, you turned and looked at him. his eyelashes were long and soft whenever he would bat them down, his rosy and bow lips were wet when he ran his tongue over them.

words of encouragement from your husband himself.

——————————————————————————

that night when the joint project was happening. the nervousness inside your gut made you panic. the joint project was going in between your company and ricky’s company. if you wrote a report that was not that great, you surely will drop from your chief executive position then.

the blonde saw that you were fiddling with your fingers, staring into space. he was fixing his tie, watching you already dressed from head to toe in the black givenchy dress he made you wear that reached above your knees. he couldn’t lie, you are absolutely gorgeous. he was planning for the event today, he wanted to give out a special thanks to everyone and importantly to his family and you.

looking up from your spot inside the limo, your eyes landed at ricky who is sitting right beside you, his legs sprawled out while he leaned his head back making his adam’s apple on full view for you to see.

he had his eyes closed, there seemed to be a lot of stuff going on inside his mind because he began to wear a visible frown. you want to ask what's wrong with him, is it you? is it this event? or is it the fact that you're sitting right next to him?, you just can't read him.

"we should really act like a couple once we step out of this limo, there will be a lot of cameras and news reporters.” ricky stated the obvious, and just when the limo took a turn, your eyes caught sight of the venue from the outside, packed with people and cameras flashing like they're some fireworks. there he finally opened his eyes, the first thing his eyes saw was you looking at him, he could easily read you like an opened book, the way you would blink faster whenever he catches your gaze for you to just break them, and the way you nervously bit down your lip by all of this sudden pressure of making a public appearance with him.

you nodded your head as you let out a heavy sigh, grabbing your purse when the vehicle put into a stop. ricky unbuckled his seatbelt and so did you.

when he opened the door and stepped out, greeting you with his warm smile as he held out his hand for you, you smiled back sweetly when you noticed some cameras flashing.

“smile for the camera.” he whispered near your ears, holding onto your waist as you both stepped out of the limo.

after taking some pictures, you both saw your friends and colleagues waiting for you at the sides. ricky noticed you looking at your friends and tapped your waist for you to look at him.

“we’ll see each other after the party.”

and with that, he was gone to meet his colleagues and other CEOS from other companies.

oh god, how tired were you tonight.

walking towards the chair where the blazer of his suit was but stopped after hearing your small grunts of defeat, eyebrows coming together in confusion but his face relaxed after realizing the situation that you're in.

"do you need help?" ricky asked you from the other side of the curtain, his shoes peeking through the small gap from below. you looked at yourself in front of the mirror, the dress fitted you like a glove but the only problem was the zipper at the back, it was so high, you couldn’t unzip it on your own.

you were awake for the first two hours of the drive, making use of yourself to keep ricky company inside the car because if it gets too quiet he might get tired and fall asleep without your attention, it was almost 2am.

ricky drummed his fingers to the steering wheel whilst opening the storage compartment between the two of you, taking out one of his glasses to shade his eyes from the bright sun. he looked so good, his slightly messy hair from all of the times he would run a hand through them, and now that he's wearing glasses that rests on the bridge of his sharp nose.

both the event and the drive was exhausting for the both of you.

“y/n,” ricky calls up to you and made you hum after he unzipped your dress, “you know i care for you, right?”

the sudden question caught you off guard, turning to look at him and felt that your heart thumped inside your chest when he came close to you. you never really questioned it but you did thought every single day that did he even care for you since he married you? you didn’t even know whether it was a yes or no.

“to be honest, i’m not sure. you’re always busy, i’m always busy so i never really thought of it. just when mother asked me to marry you. did you even-“

"i want to be a good man and see you smile," he started, straightening up his posture, the urge to see you happy itched his brain, remembering the picture of the two of you laughing beside the fountain that one day, the time where you helped him control a claw machine. knowing where this is leading yet everything goes following each other, watching as the both of you go round and round each time.

"and i want to hold you in my arms tonight."

ricky confessed, standing tall for his eyes to watch you mirror his actions. both trying to find answers in each other's eyes, you took in everything he just said, the bubbling feeling inside your stomach mentioning to you what to do. his voice was a trigger.

his eyes drifted down to your swollen lips on how much you bit them earlier, they were red as a rose along with your cheeks shining down the moonlight from the window beside you. fuck it.

cupping your cheeks and what ricky did next didn't surprise you at all, the feeling of his soft lips met yours, almost forgetting how they felt, he kissed them with so much passion. he’s taking over you slowly, you grabbed his nape and pulled him down so he could meet your height.

"baby.." he spoke up, stopping your actions with a warm cup on your cheek by his hand. the moment you locked eyes with him everything seemed to stop, the flutter inside your heart from his words earlier was still in you. the way he called you out made you love the nickname more than you usually do.

sighing, you settled on top of him and hugged ricky who returned the favor to cuddle you under everything that just happened. both hearts beating right next to each other to create a calm euphoria.

"baby" the sound of his tender voice caught your attention, it almost sounded like a whisper.

"yes?" what is it?" you returned, turning your head to look at him, thinking that he was asking you for some help or anything.

"i love you" those three words never failed to make your heart go feral for it also came from ricky who said those to you.

"and I love you too." you came back, putting a tight smile for your lover.

say you love me.

a/n ! thank you so much for reading and giving me requests. i’m thankful that you guys enjoyed reading it and giving all the notes and support. i do not own any characters, music or pics given, will definitely work harder for the next ones !

signing out, miaaa hihi !

2K notes · View notes

244simp · 11 months

Text

Ungodly Hour

That time you - a broke college student - were willing to do just about anything for a hulu account after your brother kicks you off of his - (and Jungkook would do anything to have you).

Word count: 1.687

Warning: idk yall, i was bored, smut, college au, jungkook is thirsty, reader is somewhat slutty but with good reasons, dirty talking, swallowing, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, riding, cumming,

Your mouth wrapped around the tip of Jungkook’s cock, twirling the head in your mouth. You only slightly (maybe more than you want to admit) the way the salty pre-cum drips into your mouth as you suck. Even better were his moans - so soft and velvety; melodic.

if anyone was to blame it had to be your brother - he was the nuisance in your life. It was as if he intended on making your life a complete mess.

You were a good person, daughter and sister. You did what you had to do - attend classes everyday. You went to work and then home without a care. You worked at a grocery store part time and made enough to pay your half of the rent. Sure, with the price of groceries now you couldn’t be bothered to buy any. But that’s where your parents came in. You craved independence from them but only for privacy. You made sure you were there every night for dinner and sometimes if you had time, breakfast in the mornings.

Your brother was just upset that you accidentally bought an add-on on his hulu account - but how else were you supposed to watch what you wanted if he was too cheap to pay for anything further? It was bad enough you had to sit through 2 minute ads - it was the least he could do.

This is how you now found yourself sucking Jungkook off - the same man you had been dodging ever since the pair of you met. He gave off fuck boy vibes and the last thing you needed was that in your life - until you actually did need Jungkook. The irony.

Jungkook watches with hooded eyes at the beautiful sight of you. You had now grasped the length of his cock and began to pump him, focusing more on the tip of his head. He was glad the two of you were alone - seeing as you didn’t even have the decency to take him to your room and insisted on doing this on the couch. But Jungkook wasn’t a picky person - he prayed for times such as this. You were the play hard to get type and one thing he enjoyed was the chase.

Jungkook places a hand on the back of your head and thrusts lighty into your mouth, groaning as he does so. You allowed it. You laid your tongue flat, eyes flickering up to watch his expression. Satisfaction bubbled deep inside of you at the sight of his lust-filled expression. Dark hooded eyes, gasping lips.

“I waited, fuck…so long for this.” Jungkook groans, pumping inside of your mouth a little faster. His thumb caresses your cheek. “I told you that I’d have you one day, didn’t I?” he says smugly.

You groan a response, throat vibrating against his cock. That bastard, you thought. Jungkook did - he told you that one day your “play hard to get” act would crumble and when it did, he’d be there. But this couldn’t count - right? You were doing this for the greater good, after all. You had shows to watch and Jungkook just so happened to be the one that had a premium account.

You feel the tip of Jungkook’s cock tickling the back of your throat, testing to see how far you’d let him go. There’s a trail of saliva dripping from the corner of your lips and it drips slowly down your chin. Your mouth was heavy - wet and warm and inviting. You were determined to make him cum and he was determined to do just that.

Jungkook’s hand grips your hair - you moan at the sensation. He pumps just a little faster, your slurps and gagging hitting his ears and he moans at just how filthy you were for him.

“I’m about to cum.” Jungkook groans. His free hand wipes away a lone tear that releases from your eye. “You okay?” he asks, slowing his thrusts.

Your response was to bring him deeper into your mouth, blinking up at him. You slap his thigh harshly and that was all the permission he needed to fuck your throat. He shudders, feeling his toes curl. It didn’t help that your teary eyes watched his every move - and Jungkook couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Even now while he took control, you remain just as stubborn; challenging him. “F-Fuck…” Jungkook grunts. “W-Where do I cum?”

Jungkook wants to slap himself, forgetting that you can’t exactly respond to him. But he’s unsure if cumming inside of your mouth would be too intimate - but then again, you could always spit it out and he would be fine with that.

You gag, feeling your throat swell with the warm, salty substance. You inhale through your nose and moan. “L-Let me find-” Jungkook watches as you swallow and lick your lips - he feels his cheeks redden and his heart thump.

You wipe your eyes of the pathetic tears and hum. “Don’t get big headed.” you hiss.

Jungkook smirks and bats his eyelashes. “Never.” he says. “I already made you a profile on my hulu account.”

You watch as Jungkook takes out his phone to show you the account and like state, he did make you your own profile. You snort at the name - stargirl. “I’ll text you the information to get into it.”

You place your hands onto his thighs. Your eyes lower to his cock - it wasn’t completely erect, but it wasn’t softening, either.

“I was told I would get peacock and hbo max.” you say to him. You didn’t want to tell him that you were wet and wanted to ride him, his head was already big enough.

“I have hbo max as an add on with hulu.” Jungkook responds, eyes darkening at the thought of feeling you.

“Hm. That’s too bad.” you tilt your head. “I wanted to ride you.”

“I can add disney.” Jungkook responds far too quickly, mentally cursing at how desperate he appeared.

Smirking, you nod your head. “Deal.”

Jungkook’s eyes are wide when you lift from your knees and kick off your shorts, panties flying with them. He’s erect once more at the sight of your slick trailing down your thighs. Your thighs trap him beneath you as you center yourself on him. “I’m not on any birth control.”

Jungkook gulps. His hands place themselves firmly on your hips. “I can pull out.” he nods. “Unless you want another streaming service as payment for me cumming inside of you.” he jokes - unless…

Jungkook smirks at you and you could only glare. You sit down on him completely and wipe the smirk from his lips. Your hands grip his shoulders as you begin to pound on him. It doesn’t take time for the entire sitting room is filled with your moans mixed with Jungkooks as well as skin slapping.

“You look like you’re enjoying yourself.�� Jungkook murmurs, inching closer to capture your lips with his own. You never said anything against kissing is his defense.

You deepen the kiss, grinding against him. “Says the man who hasn’t stopped moaning since we started.”

Jungkook chuckles and does just that. His hands trail from your hips, to your thighs and upwards towards your breast. He grips both of your clothed breasts into his palms. “Pussy feels so good, I can’t help myself.”

You swallow your own moan back. You can’t let him know his words turn you on - he would never let you live it down. It’s bad enough you were fucking him for streaming services.

You shifted yourself, your feet firmly against the couch. You looked into his eyes as you began to bounce on him once more, satisfied that the man below you was a moaning mess - and broke eye contact first. His eyes begin to roll at the new found pleasure.

You decided that you wouldn’t hide your own pleasure anymore. Jungkook was big and this position only meant that his cock was hitting the right spot each time.

“I know it feels good, baby.” Jungkook’s voice brings you back to reality - and so does his thumb upon your clit. His thumb rubs hastily on it, enjoying the way your pussy tightens around his cock.

“It does.” Maybe you were growing weak - but only because it did feel good. That, and the way Jungkook’s voice grows deeper and more sultry as he speaks is an added turn on.

“What happened to the playing hard to get girl I know?” Jungkook’s now thrusting upwards inside of you to meet you halfway.

You clench around him. “Fuck you.” you murmur.

“I intend to.” Jungkook manages to laugh, his thumb leaving your clit to hook beneath your thighs. He continues where you left off, stamina unmatched. He pounds into you with such need - as if this was what he had been waiting for for who knows how long.

Your arms wrap around his neck and allow him the control - just this once. Jungkook’s reveling in your submission, murmuring dirty words in your ears as he fucks you. You were so wet - slick gripping out of you and onto his thighs - that he knew neither of you would last long.

You bite your lip when you feel Jungkook’s hands on your ass. He squeezes it with such need, moaning beautifully in your ears as his thrusts turn sloppy. “Where do I cum?” he asks suddenly.

“Anywhere.” was your response.

Jungkook took your lack of direction as a sign. His fingers lean down from your ass to find your clit once more. He toys with it as he thrusts, hellbent on making sure you cum right along with him. He wasn’t going to last - not with the way you were squeezing his cock right now.

“S-Shit!” you hiss, feeling yourself come undone right as Jungkook pulls out of you, cum leaking on your ass.

Jungkook leans against the couch and pants. There was no way he was going to leave you alone after this - but that’s okay because he knows you’ll close up once more and play that game you’ve been playing. Jungkook loved the chase and deep down, so do you.

Part 2 | Part 3

4K notes · View notes

244simp · 1 year

Text

severed;; jjk

pairing: non-idol normie!jungkook x reader

word count: 7.7k

rating: teens & up!

genre/warnings: sci-fi, romance, drama, comedy, angst, strangers to established relationship!lovers to strangers again, soulmates au, post-college au

summary: you and jungkook had a terrible breakup. and so, you two decided to delete each other from your guys' memories.

notes: have y'all ever seen eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? severance? that's it. that's the plot, but if jungkook was in it!!

“Isn’t it diabolical to delete him from your brain?”

You shrugged, taking another chug of alcohol.

"Not if he does it first."

“Do you remember him?”

You scratched your head in confusion, not understanding the question.

“Do you remember him?” the person in the lab coat asked again.

You tilted your head once more, your brain was all muddled. There wasn’t anybody else but you and the person, and it was starting to creep you out a bit as to how cold everything was.

“Who?”

The nurse wrote down a few scribbles on her notepad.

“Success. You may proceed to the rest area now.”

You squinted your eyes as you looked down, staring at the package on your lap. It was a small box with a ribbon on it with the words, “Open when ready” card on top of it. You lifted up the card, flipping it to see the words, “THANK YOU FOR DELETING WITH US - LUMON” in the back.

Ah. It seems like I’ve deleted something from my memory.

You relaxed a bit, sighing as you got up from your seat. You remembered you had an appointment today for the procedure, but you couldn’t remember for who and for what. Probably for good reason, you hoped.

The procedure, you were told, was pretty painless. It took about a month to scan through your memories, trying to discard what is good and what’s bad, put in a floppy disk, and then delete all of it, emotions and all. You’d figured that it was a pretty painful thing, maybe some childhood trauma, a bad breakup, or a car accident…who knows.

Well, it was on the floppy disk, whatever it was. And until you were ready to look at it (in which you don’t intend to at the moment), you wouldn’t know.

And so you walked out of the cold and white doctor’s room into a softer-lit, all-green resting area. The plush couches were pressed up against the walls as you see other clients taking a rest, texting their friends and family about the procedure they had just done too.

You took a gaze at the clock: 4:32.

Looking down on the box, you could see a time written in the top corner of the card.

12:01. You’d been here for four hours.

“Did it hurt?” someone asked. You turned around, seeing a pretty attractive young man around the same age as you. He was smiling of course, elated probably that severance helped him. You wondered what his reason was, although you weren’t terribly curious either. It was none of your business.

“No, actually,” you replied nonchalantly, checking your phone. Dead, it appeared. You sighed. “You got a charger on you? Need to text my friend.”

The blonde nodded, unplugging his phone to give the cord to you.

“Battery’s full.”

You thanked him, plugging the phone in to juice it up. As the phone lit up and showed itself to be charging, the man continued asking.

“Do you remember why you're here?” he inquired. “This is my first time doing severance, and I’m worried about the after effects, you know.” He leaned into you a bit closer, whispering, “I heard the last guy who was in here puked the moment he saw his floppy disk inscription. Maybe his body remembered or something.”

You blinked, pouting. That sounded rather extreme. Surely, you’ve heard that severance doesn’t work for everyone, particularly with people who have extreme and prolonged trauma that one can’t entangle and delete easily, but throwing up after seeing the disk? You weren’t so sure about that.

“I think that’s just a rumor honestly,” you reassured the man, who was caressing his floppy disk with a lot of care. “What’s yours say?”

“Hm…” he pulled it closer to his eyes, reading it. “‘kth_2021-22.zip.’ Sounds like an ex or something. Three letters always mean ‘ex’ from what I hear.”

“God, I’m so sorry,” you patted him on the shoulder. “Breakups are the worst. Hope it’s for the best.”

The guy sighed, lifting up his jacket after it slid down his shoulders. “It’s whatever. I’m sure it was the best for me. Maybe it was a one-sided love. I hear that happens a lot.”

You found yourself agreeing with him. Although you weren’t exactly sure or really ready to look at whatever it was that got you to the Lumon office, you also felt relieved. Weirdly nervous, but very relieved. As if a big weight has been off of your shoulders, and you could take on the world.

You weren’t sure why you felt that way. Maybe it was your body remembering.

“Anyway, I think I’m gonna head out. Name’s Jimin, by the way. We should get a coffee sometime, maybe track our progress together.” He waved goodbye to you before standing up.

Gesturing for his cord back, you unplugged your phone, grabbing the cable for him. He slipped a little piece of paper in between your fingers. His number presumably.

“Oh, okay,” you replied, shaking his head with it before he lightly laughed, walking out of the resting room and into what seemed like the regular cityscape. You slunk back into the chair, the box with the supposed floppy disk in your hands. Curious, you slid it open, trying to see what your severed appointment was about.

“jjk_2020-22.zip.”

Great. An ex.

“You know what, I’m gonna do it. I’m going to fucking do it!”

You were drunk. And high. Drunk and high at the same time. It has barely been twenty four hours since you found out Jungkook deleted you from his memories and the pain was not letting up. You had been crying to the point of throwing up at this point, and it was not looking pretty.

Sure, you were a bad girlfriend (allegedly, anyways), but to the point of severance? Jungkook promised when you two started getting serious that he would never do such a thing. He loved you, he said. He loved you too much to do such an experimental procedure like that.

What a load of bullshit.

“Dude. You cannot be serious!” Namjoon exclaimed, shook to the core. He attempted to take the alcohol bottle away from you, but to no avail. “You know severance is permanent, right?”

“Yeah, and what about it?” you hiccuped, sliding your hands through the photos of the two together. That awful bastard, you thought. How can this motherfucker be laughing or smiling at all of these photos? It was jeering at you really, like some sick joke. “He had the audacity to break up with me and delete me from his memories? Oh, now he’s gonna be deleted too, FUCK him.”

Namjoon sighed.

“Isn’t it diabolical to delete him from your brain?”

You shrugged, taking another chug of alcohol.

“Not if he did it first.”

Your booksmart friend didn’t have much of a retort after that.

“W-well, didn’t you hear about the side effects? What if you forget about me?”

You chuckled, swinging the glass around in the air.

“You’re not gonna be forgotten, Kim Namjoon. You’re my best friend, for fuck’s sake.”

“W-well, I introduced you to him.”

You swallowed.

“You’re right. You’re gonna be forgotten too, Kim Namjoon.” You gestured wildly in a big circle. “We’re all gonna be forgotten! Severed! Deleted! Vanished!”

Your abnormally tall friend looked at you in disbelief. After all, you were kidding about deleting your best friend from your memories, but he was not amused at all by the possibility of you deleting Jungkook too. Namjoon had desperately tried to get Jungkook to stop the procedure which kept him at bay until one night he impulsively booked the appointment and went to do it without Namjoon knowing. It was terrible. After all, Namjoon had no idea that their breakup would even come, let alone be that awful to the point of severance.

Oh, he hated quarreling couples. Maybe it was best that he retired from his wingman occupation and went back to actually dating people. Not that it would be a joy. He was after all, this close to doing the procedure himself on a situationship he had, only to chicken out.

“She has more balls than I do,” he sighed to himself as your eyes slowly began to close and yawned repeatedly.

“I’ll delete you…Jungkook…”

It had been a week passed since you had done the procedure, and to your surprise, there wasn’t much of a fuss. Surely, your friend Namjoon seemed upset that you did it, but due to the potential complications, he had to sign a nondisclosure to not speak of the ex–er, subject that was deleted from your memory.

“I mean, you can always look back on the disk if you want,” Namjoon egged on in the middle of your guys’ brunch. “People who do it can choose to keep the disk to look back at it without the emotional attachment. I’m guessing the non-severed you wanted to cherish some memories with it.”

“Maybe,” you pondered, swirling the straw in your cup in circles, looking at a distance. There was a pit of emptiness that you couldn’t help but to feel, in which you have already brought up with the exit team. Normal symptoms, they said. It’ll take a few weeks before you’re back to normal, they said.

You thought about what your new friend Jimin had said over lunch a few days ago. Your body still remembered the events that happened from time to time, but the emotional parts of it were voided from your mind and plopped on a disk to view from a third-person perspective.

It was a scary concept turned into reality, but you weren’t entirely creeped out by it. At this point, it was fun guessing what the topic was. So far, you were able to figure out it was a breakup of sorts, but not sure with who. After all, there are 8 billion people on this planet.

“You do seem happier though,” Namjoon remarked, sipping a bit of his latte. “Like much happier. The thing…” he said carefully, dragging the second word out, “...the thing definitely held you back. The thing…uh…” he gestured in attempts to articulate further. “Ah…I don’t know how to not talk about this without mentioning–”

“Hyung!”

You glanced up, eyes directly meeting with big doe eyes. It was a young man who had a cool effortless style to him, wearing a basic white Calvin Klein tee and sweatpants, followed by a yellow Supreme hoodie. He had a full sleeve and a couple of lip piercings to boot. He was cute, but definitely was not your type.

“J-jungkook!” he stuttered, sitting up rather abruptly as he nearly knocked down his chair. You laughed, waving the air to get him to stand up.

“Please, you’re embarrassing your friend,” you retorted as the guy smiled back for a quick second.

“I’m used to Namjoon-hyung being that way. He’s our clumsy little tall friend. Huh, Hyung?”

“Ay, stop teasing me like that,” he said hastily. Namjoon took a quick glance at the both of you, clearing his throat. He seemed weirdly nervous all of a sudden, as if he was caught cheating with his side chick. “Uh…this is Jungkook. Jungkook, this is one of my college friends…”

You extended your hand out to say hello as Namjoon continued to give a whole background of how you guys met, but you were met with a blank stare, almost as if the guy was embarrassed to talk to you. There was an awkward silence between you two, and you figured to try to say something, but there was something rather dead and cold behind Jungkook’s eyes that you felt rather uncomfortable by. You grimaced, rescinding the handshake back.

What’s up with this kid? Why is he staring at me like that?

You also felt that empty feeling again, as if something was terribly missing. It was a lot, but you thought nothing of it. It seemed like it happened rather randomly and in little bursts.

“...anyway, nice to see you, little one. I need to go to my appointment, so we’ll see each other soon, yeah?”

Jungkook snapped out of the daze to nod at his broad-shouldered friend.

“Yeah. See you,” he said before waving goodbye, turning swiftly around and leaving the scene as quickly as he appeared. You frowned as you watched the kid walked away briskly, only to be met with Namjoon’s nervous expression.

“What?”

“What what?”

You sighed.

“Never mind. You’re being weird today.”

“He just stared at you? Did he know you or anything?”

“No…?” you answered with a questioning tone, sipping some more wine. It was pouring outside and you decided to have a few drinks with Jimin at his place. It turned out he was extremely and terribly gay, and definitely was not trying to hit on you when he slipped that number in your fingers. Thank God, you sighed. At least, he wasn’t going to take advantage of the fact that you maybe had an ex and try to be your rebound. Surely, you had enough rebounds in your life as it is.

“Suspicious indeed,” Jimin squinted his eyes, sipping a bit of his newly concocted cocktail. “Ah, I thought about watching the footage on the disk back this week, but someone had told me not to.”

“Why?” you leaned in closer, staring at Jimin’s disk perched on top of the coffee table. “You think you’re gonna see some bad shit on there?”

“Nah,” he remarked, leaning back on the couch and gathering his legs up to his chin. “Someone told me that they threw up after they watched everything on the disk. Like, for 10 minutes straight or something.”

“What’s with you and throwing up?” you laughed, hitting him playfully. He hit back, giggling.

“I don’t know. At this point, I think people are just lying to me.”

“Yeah, probably!”

As Jimin gathered the glasses together to start cleaning up, you drifted off for a second. What if you’re ready to see the contents of the tape? Was it safe to see what’s on it for you? What was so awful that you chose to delete this person from your memories and detach yourself like that? You wondered how much you loved this person, how much you wanted this person to be a part of your life forever…what were the possibilities? There were so many?

One thing was for sure though. You were ready to watch the tape tonight.

And so you did.

As you plopped the disk into the hard drive of your desktop CPU, it booted up, showing the LUMON logo. As the screen loaded in front of you, you tapped your fingers nervously on the keyboard, wondering what you were going to unpack.

A virtual set of eyes popped up and opened its eyelids, finished with a pair of lips. Then, a female voice greeted you.

["𝘏𝘌𝘓𝘓𝘖, 𝘐 𝘈𝘔 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘝𝘐𝘙𝘛𝘜𝘈𝘓 𝘔𝘌𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘠 𝘒𝘌𝘌𝘗𝘌𝘙, 𝘓𝘠𝘓𝘈. 𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘈𝘙𝘌 𝘈𝘊𝘊𝘌𝘚𝘚𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘍𝘐𝘓𝘌: 𝘑-𝘑-𝘒, 𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙𝘚𝘊𝘖𝘙𝘌, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠, 𝘋𝘈𝘚𝘏, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠-𝘛𝘞𝘖. 𝘞𝘏𝘈𝘛 𝘞𝘖𝘜𝘓𝘋 𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘓𝘐𝘒𝘌 𝘛𝘖 𝘚𝘌𝘌?"]

A folder appeared on the screen before it opened itself up to show a multitude of videos, seemingly time stamped in the course of the past two years. You tilted your head in amazement, scrolling through all the different files and seeing one person you had seen just earlier in the week present in all the videos.

“It’s that kid. Jung…shit, what was his fucking name?”

You scratched your head trying to remember, but to no avail. No wonder Namjoon seemed nervous around you when he came by.

Was this guy your ex? A friend? What did he do to you?

You had a sinking feeling as to what it could be, only to be comforted in not seeing any sexual misconduct or assault warnings on the side of the videos. You sighed in relief, leaning back against your office chair.

Where do you even start?

That empty feeling came up again, this time stronger than before. It felt really uncomfortable, something that you wanted to go away.

Now, it was starting to make sense. The empty feelings were probably what was missing, what this person, whoever it is, is going to provide answers for.

“There was a guy it seems,” you began replying back to Lyla. “Apparently he met the world to me based on some of these previews. I can’t seem…I can’t seem to remember him, Lyla.”

A moment of silence.

["𝘐'𝘔 𝘚𝘖𝘙𝘙𝘠, 𝘐 𝘊𝘈𝘕𝘕𝘖𝘛 𝘈𝘊𝘊𝘌𝘚𝘚 𝘛𝘖 𝘙𝘌𝘊𝘓𝘈𝘐𝘔 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘔𝘌𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘐𝘌𝘚."]

“Uh, I’m not asking…” you swore under your breath before proceeding. “Um. Not trying to remember. Just…I weirdly…have this empty feeling right now. Just wanna know if this is related to this person perhaps.”

Silence. Longer than usual.

["𝘞𝘖𝘜𝘓𝘋 𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘓𝘐𝘒𝘌 𝘛𝘖 𝘝𝘐𝘌𝘞 𝘍𝘐𝘓𝘌, 𝘑-𝘑-𝘒, 𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙𝘚𝘊𝘖𝘙𝘌, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘋𝘈𝘚𝘏, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠-𝘛𝘞𝘖 𝘍𝘙𝘖𝘔 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘝𝘌𝘙𝘠 𝘉𝘌𝘎𝘐𝘕𝘕𝘐𝘕𝘎?"]

Should I? What’s the worst that could happen?

“Yes.”

["𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙊𝙉𝙀."]

The screen turned to black.

It was you and Namjoon sitting at a restaurant booth, waiting for someone. It was late 2020 as the snow engulfed the streets of Seoul and people were hurriedly trying to get out of work since it was the end of day. You sat there seemingly nervous, pondering about something that you cannot recall what it was.

“Are you sure about this guy?” you inquired.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure. He’s one of my good friends actually,” Namjoon grinned. His eyes met somebody as he gestured them over. “There he is! Jungkook!”

You peered through your shoulder to see a young man and to your shock, it was the guy who you had met earlier who was gawking at you in the weirdest way.

Pausing the video, you sat back in your chair, wondering what this encounter was. Was Namjoon introducing you to a friend as a date? You swore this guy Jungkook wasn’t your type. You preferred guys who were more clean cut, academic looking and well, not have tattoos.

Maybe Namjoon saw something in this kid that you didn’t see before. Who even knows besides continuing on watching the tape.

“Ah, we’ve met before!” you exclaimed. You stood up, giving Jungkook a warm embrace. “We met at the show that Yoongi had, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he replied, smiling back. “Namjoon talked a lot about you right after the show to me. It seemed like he was the one who was interested in you rather than trying to pitch a date, haha.”

“He does that,” you smiled awkwardly, extending your hand out to have him sit down. “Let’s eat, yeah?”

And so the conversation went on as you continued to watch the tape intently, getting a notebook to write some notes down. It turned out Jungkook was a friend of Yoongi’s, graduated from a state university back in the States and worked for some finance consulting firm nearby. You were surprised, of course, considering that the kid had a very visible sleeve tattoo alongside finger tattoos to boot. You couldn’t take the guy seriously despite the fact that he fits your profile now. After all, he must’ve charmed his way into your heart for you to have spent 2 years with the guy.

“So what do you do for a living?” Jungkook asked as he volunteered to flip the meats over to cook. You covered your mouth to swallow (a movement that you looking in retrospect gagged at, knowing that you were trying to look girly and proper in front of the guy) before answering,

“I’m a marketing director at an entertainment company,” you replied, grabbing some more seasoned bean sprouts to your plate. “I can’t say who I work for though, people would freak out.”

“Really?” he chuckled. The sound of it was impeccably attractive to you, you admit to yourself. “And why is that?”

“Because my main account is a girl group who every guy is obsessed with. Or rather, just that one singular member.”

He lifted up an eyebrow.

“Oh? I don’t think I’d be weird about it if you tell me.”

“Dude trust me, she doesn’t lie,” Namjoon joked, taking a sip of his soju. “When she told me she was working for Wonyoung’s group, I was sure that none of our boys knew so they didn't bother her for the girls’ numbers.”

“Namjoon,” you emphasized as he opened his mouth in shock, covering his mouth.

“I’m sorry!” he hastily replied, putting his hands up in defeat. “I swear–”

“No, that was on purpose!” you retorted back, throwing some seasoned spinach his way. The both of you laughed as Jungkook nervously laughed back, unsure if it was a joke or not.

“Aren’t they really young though?” Jungkook remarked, putting some cooked meat onto everyone’s plates. “Like, one of them is sixteen or something, no?”

“Eh, men are men,” you replied dryly, thanking him quietly as he passed some samgyeopsal over to you. “And men are pigs. I’ve told them this and they still don’t give a shit. Especially when it comes to little Wonyo. Everyone throws logic out of the window when I talk about her.”

“‘Wonyo’…” Jungkook’s voice trailed off. “I’m guessing you’re close to Wonyoung to call her that?”

“Yeah. You obsessed with her too?” you asked plainly.

It was a test, you could tell in hindsight. You were the type to test men out to see they weren’t creeps every single time. Namjoon hated it (“You’re starting up shit for no reason!” he would say), but as a strong independent feminist yourself, you always had to make sure that some guy you were interested in wasn’t a predatory weirdo.

“Nah,” Jungkook answered just as matter-of-factly, stuffing his cheeks with meat. “I don’t like barely legal girls.” His cheeks began to flush a faint tint of pink. “Actually, I’m more into older women.”

You choked on some mashed potatoes.

“Jesus,” you paused the video, hands covering your face. You couldn’t help but to flush as well at how incredibly cute that was. Surely, you were always into older men, but younger men lately have had a death grip on you.

You can see your old self blushing too. Ah, that was what got you to be interested, you thought. You were so predictable.

There were more conversations here and there, and you could tell over time, Jungkook felt more and more confident, extending his shoulder blades to make him look bigger than he actually was, cooking the meat a bit more aggressively and not stopping once to compliment you in some way or another. He was being outwardly flirtatious, something that you, as a Libra-dominant person, enjoyed quite a bit. You couldn’t help but feel the butterflies in your stomach flutter every time he said something wildly flirty, you would coil back in your chair out of embarrassment. He was totally your type, and it was crazy how deeply charismatic he was.

“So, when am I going to see you again, my dear?” he asked as he held the door for you. You could see Namjoon’s eyeballs roll to the back of his head as the old you continued to be flustered by how directly forward this kid was.

“How about tomorrow, you little flirt?” you teased back, pulling him into a hug. Jungkook put his arms around your waist quite immediately, his nose scrunched up in embarrassment as he was doing this in front of his good friend.

“You guys are disgusting,” Namjoon muttered loud enough for you two to hear. “What am I getting myself into with y’all being a thing…”

You leaned in closer as you could see your old self’s sparkling eyes looking into Jungkook’s. His big caramel eyes were looking back at you as well with his smile getting so big that you couldn’t help but smile too. Even though you two were getting to know each other, you could tell this was the start of something really great, although, with the fate of what happened, you wondered why this seemingly good relationship was now on a floppy disk and not in your brain.

What happened, you thought to yourself. Did Jungkook break your heart that bad for you to forget him this way? Your heart sank at the thought of it. Surely, the answers would reveal itself as the tapes go on, but somehow, you were scared to watch the rest of it.

[“𝙀𝙉𝘿 𝙊𝙁 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙊𝙉𝙀. 𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂, 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙏𝙒𝙊."]

It was a routine every night to watch a few videos from the disk. It was like binging on a new show you fell in love with, except this time, you were falling in love with this Jungkook from your computer screen.

At some point during the viewing, you found yourself pausing every few seconds, usually having to stomach what had just happened. You two were impeccably adorable, going on weekly dates the moment after the brunch ended. Jungkook was full of surprises, taking you on amusement park dates. He made you get on the biggest rollercoaster in the park, and you cried the entire time because you hated rollercoasters. You, on the other hand, took him to art museums and jazz concerts, something he always found boring. As his feet tapped in anxiousness and boredom, you would relieve your boyfriend from it by promising to get frisky in the bathrooms later on in the night, only to be blue-balled because you became hyperfixated on the topic at hand, talking about it for hours after the date was over.

In fact, you two also did a lot of fucking in the beginning, a lot. It was interesting at first as you were mostly vanilla, but as time went on, Jungkook did things to you that you never thought could happen to your petite little body. It was exhilarating to watch and also fascinating.

But also, there were arguments here and there. Jungkook was younger by a bit than you after all, and he was deeply, utterly insecure.

[“𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂, 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀. 𝙏𝙒𝙊 𝙃𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙁𝙄𝙁𝙏𝙔-𝙏𝙒𝙊.”]

Jungkook slammed the door behind him, creating a bit of a scene in your apartment. You sighed, still cooking dinner for the both of you.

“Who was that on your story?” he immediately inquired as he slipped off his shoes. You knew where this was about to go. From the last episode, Jungkook found out you were still talking to your ex-now-turned-friend, Sam. Sam was an international student turned graduate who you spent all of college dating. Despite the fact that you guys were deeply compatible, you two ended up breaking up over the lack of time together, but nonetheless, you two enjoyed each other’s company.

“Sam,” you sighed, setting the bowls together. “And yes, it’s that Sam.”

You gestured Jungkook to sit down, but he was heated, hands on his hips. With his tongue sticking out from his cheek, he started pacing back and forth, a sign of agitation.

“Why did you see him? You still got feelings?”

“Jungkook,” you said sternly.

You shook your head and snorted, chewing on the bulgogi you just made. If there was anything you knew about Jungkook at this point, it was the fact that he was a deeply jealous little guy, constantly feeling like he had to compete for your attention. Surely in the beginning, he charmed his way into your pants it seemed, but things have been different since then. You two had gotten used to each other’s presence as you could tell, and Jungkook’s flirty antics were no longer getting the old you flustered.

“Is that not a fair question to ask?” he shot back, crossing his arms. “You did say that you’re the type to always get into situationships.”

“That was the old me,” you rebutted, setting some side dishes on the kitchen island. “Now can you please sit? The food is getting cold.”

Jungkook frowned, widening his stance while staring at you dead in the eye.

“Please,” you urged, waving the food in front of you. “I really don’t wanna argue today. You’ve been on edge so much lately because of the recent restructuring and I just want it to be peaceful.”

It was true. Jungkook’s job had recently merged into a bigger conglomerate and as a result, his department had been cutting people and laying off folks for weeks now. He felt extremely nervous and unhinged for quite some time, and as a result, he has been particularly accusatory toward old you in the past several episodes.

You could see the old you pleading with your eyes, sighing as Jungkook eventually swallowed his pride and came over, sitting down next to you.

“I’m sorry,” he opened his mouth sometime later in between chews. “I’m just–”

“...stressed, I know,” you completed his sentence, giving him a piece of stir-fried pork chop. “Now eat. Your girlfriend spent a couple of hours out of her day to feed her easily jealous boyfriend.”

You smiled softly back at Jungkook, in which he smiled quietly to himself, sighing.

“I wish you were there with me every day. I wouldn’t go as crazy, you know.”

“But I can’t and you know that,” you logically explained it to him. “Have you thought–”

“...of quitting?” he scoffed, shaking his head. “No, I can’t quit now. Especially since Eunwoo got promoted. If he out of all people could get promoted before I do…”

He trailed off. You sighed.

“What did I say about caring about what Cha Eunwoo is doing?” you warned.

“Ignore him,” he answered through gritted teeth, munching on the pork chop slices you gave him. “But he’s so annoying, my love.”

“Well, my love, you need to keep ignoring him for your peace! Your peace is important to me, and you’re always getting so riled up over the smallest things.”

Jungkook grimaced a bit before pouting.

“You’re telling me that the whole Sam thing is a ‘small thing’?” he did air quotes at the last two words.

At this point, you paused the video. It was getting ridiculous at how incredibly immature Jungkook was, and you were also full from your dinner.

While it was true that Jungkook was this rebellious kid who doesn’t listen for shit and gets feisty too often, you were also the same way. It was a shock how you two were compatible considering that you believed in opposites attract, but at the same time, it made all the sense. Jungkook was a mirror to you, and it was incredible how intoxicating the relationship has been. You felt a pit in your stomach in where this could go, and frankly, you weren’t looking forward to seeing it.

[𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙍𝙀𝙀 𝙃𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙎𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙔-𝙁𝙄𝙑𝙀.]

You two were at a wedding. Jin’s wedding to be exact.

It was a lively affair, filled with friends that you grew to know over the course of a few weeks. Seokjin was the oldest in your little quartet of friends who finally proposed to his sweetheart of five years (in which she already knew way in advance because Seokjin was terrible when it comes to keeping secrets). Namjoon had finished singing some cheesy English-only number he wrote specifically for the couple, drunkenly crying after as he toasted for the newly wedded.

You were sitting with your now 2-years-older boyfriend as he goofily danced with his guitarist friend Yoongi, who was too shy to show some of his moves. He took it seriously though, doing parts of a choreography of a song he composed for Jaesang with some chic flair. The man had made good money by producing a lot of amazing beats for the industry, but this was nothing compared to how much Jungkook teased him for it.

As the song came to an end, Seokjin grabbed the mic from the DJ as audio feedback irritated everyone’s ears. He was incredibly drunk, and his new wife was urging him to sit down and drink some water to no avail.

“Ah ah, let me SING!” he protested, making his wife sit down as he continued to hiccup his way through it all. “I am the best singer on the planet, let’s goooooo~!”

The DJ soon played a slower song with Seokjin singing a half a second too late, only to start over again. Everyone was laughing, charmed by the barely married man feeling confident to sing in front of his beloved friends and family.

“You know, he isn’t bad,” Yoongi piped up as everyone began to bring out their phones to record with him doing the same. “I would love him to be in the studio with me and record something.”

“You’re scouting people now, Yoongi?” you giggled as Yoongi chuckled back, smacking his lips.

“I gotta keep my bag flowing,” he sheepishly replied.

The both of you continued to have a good laugh as Jungkook swung by in his sleek black and grey checkered Louis Vuitton suit, wrapping his arms around you.

“Babe, let’s slow dance,” he whined. “We haven’t danced together all night and we look hot together.”

“Jungkook,” you pleaded, pointing at your injured ankle. “Ankle. Sprained. Cannot dance very well.”

“I’ll carry you,” Jungkook reassured you, starting to pull you onto the dance floor. “Come on, let’s dance under the disco ball and make out. Please?”

“We’re already halfway there,” you grumbled, turning your pout into a smile. He was cheekily smiling from ear-to-ear at your approval and pulled you right in the middle of the dance floor, supporting your whole body to ensure that your sprain wouldn’t get worse.

It was a beautiful sight, and as the lights slowly dimmed for Seokjin’s impressive high notes, it looked like you two were deeply in love with each other, that happiest that you seemed to have ever been. Surely, you had a few boyfriends that made you feel something, but genuine happiness? You haven’t seen yourself smile like that in a long time. It was a core memory for sure, a core memory you wished you remembered for the life of you, but cannot.

All you could do was continue watching the tape with absolutely no control of what was to happen next. It was a rollercoaster, similar to the one that you were terribly afraid of to go on. On some days, it felt like you two were a perfect match, while other days, it felt like there was no way to understand each other. It was hot and cold, fiery and icy. Sometimes you felt like you could connect to this Jungkook, only to realize that it doesn’t matter. Fate had other plans and you two are no longer together, not knowing that this history happened.

You wondered if Jungkook now had deleted your memories of you. Namjoon didn’t want to reveal much. After all, he’s still tied under the NDA to not speak about you two because you guys weren’t supposed to know each other. You wondered if Jungkook didn’t delete you, if he missed you the way you strangely and unexplainably missed him. After all, how can you miss someone you never met? You were unsure, but you definitely felt it.

As the star of the night sings the closing notes, the two of you had your foreheads against each other, staring into each other's eyes. You couldn’t help but to feel emotional from seeing it, shedding a tear as you paused for a moment to take it in.

You fell in love with Jungkook. It wasn’t even funny anymore, you had successfully fallen in love with someone you loved and decided to forget. You couldn’t help but to feel pissed at your old self. Like, why did you do it? Why did you choose to delete him from your memory? Was it out of spite? Out of anger? What was it?

It was killing you inside, and you continued to replay the moment over and over again, seeing the happiness in both of your guys’ eyes.

“I love you,” Jungkook finally whispered. His eyes were closed now, shaking a bit out of nervousness probably.

“I love you too,” you said back immediately. “I love you so much more.”

“I love you the most,” he pressed, trying to end it.

The both of you laughed before sharing a sweet kiss together.

“Guys, let’s gather together! Bouquet throwing time!”

All the girls began to scream as the two of you parted lips. He opened his eyes to peer over your shoulder, turning you around and pushing you lightly toward the growing crowd of women.

“Go, go, go!” he urged.

And so you walked over there through the crowd carefully, making sure you weren’t putting so much pressure on the injured ankle. Eventually, you were in the back as Seokjin’s wife slowly began to rock her bouquet front and back before turning around to get ready.

“Okay, let’s…go!”

The bouquet was thrown up in the air and as everyone swarmed each other to block their way, it ended up landing in…

…your hands.

Everyone cheered on for you as you giddily yelled at the top of your lungs, ecstatic. You turned around to try to find Jungkook in the crowd, only seeing him beaming at you. You held the bouquet up and then…

…smile vanished.

“What?”

You paused the video. You wouldn't believe it. And so, you watched it again.

And again.

He did indeed turn stone-faced at the moment you pulled up the bride’s bouquet. It wasn’t a sneer. It wasn’t a frown. Just. Nothing.

“What the fuck…” you said out loud, slinking back into the couch. You unpaused the video and the scene continued.

Your smile faded at the sight of it, in which you made the same face as him, throwing the bouquet down. Jungkook, upon seeing you, turned around hastily, smacking his lips together to sit back down on his seat. You went back to your seat as well, not looking at him.

Shit. This is where it goes to shit, huh.

["𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂. 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙍𝙀𝙀 𝙃𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙎𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙔 𝙎𝙄𝙓."]

The car ride home was quiet. Too quiet.

At this point, you were seething from the tape. It didn’t help that you two ignored each other for the whole night, after exchanging some “I love yous” before this bouquet incident unfolded. No one was saying anything, and it was pissing you off.

“Is someone going to say something?” you muttered under your breath, pressing the fast forward button a bit to see if things changed.

Then, a single sentence came out of Jungkook’s mouth.

“About earlier…I didn’t mean that.”

“Mean what?” you shot back, sitting up from your seat. “You literally told me to go catch the bouquet and then when I did, you made this face like…like…you don’t want to marry me or something.”

“No, that’s not what I was thinking,” Jungkook rebutted, his hands gripping on the steering wheel tighter. “I was just…taken aback, that’s all.”

“Why?”

Yeah. Why?

“Why…” he repeated to himself, trailing off. “I don’t know, my face just reacted. I don’t know what I was thinking, okay?”

“Oh really. And I’m supposed to believe you?”

“Sweetheart, can we please not argue tonight? I had a lot of fun, and it’s been a while since–”

“Oh, it’s been a while?” you interrupted, scoffing. “Oh, it’s been a while since I wasn’t a killjoy, is that it?”

You could tell Jungkook was starting to tense up, gritting his teeth.

“Yes, maybe that was it. Because, I don’t know, you have been on my ass lately about not finding a job, and you don’t pick up after yourself.”

“What? What the fuck?” you laughed bitterly as the two of you pulled up at your place. “What the actual fuck? You don’t even live with me!”

“I don’t, but I sure stayed at your house long enough to know that you’re pretty fucking gross when we’re not together. And maybe, I don’t want to move in seeing all of that, I don’t know.”

“Oh, we’re just speaking our feelings now? Clearing the air?” you shook your head in disbelief. “Well, you’re not really the most pleasant person to be sleeping next to. Have you ever thought about going to sleep at a regular time instead of playing your video games until 5 AM?”

“I have insomnia, my love,” Jungkook refuted. “You told me you weren’t a light sleeper.”

“I’m a pretty heavy sleeper. You,” you pointed right at him. “You are just loud!”

“Well, it’s not like you gave a fuck up until this point, haven’t you? You just care now because I fucking made a face at the wedding.”

“Yes, maybe that’s the case but…maybe, maybe, your little face was a sign.”

“A sign of what?”

“That we’re not going to be endgame, Jungkook.”

You were breathing hard at that point, and same with the present you. The two of you looked at each other blankly as Jungkook’s voice shook in anger.

“What the fuck are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying…” your voice quivered a bit. “I’m saying, if we can’t seem to stand each other’s habits, maybe we should break up.”

Boom. There it was.

“What?” Jungkook scoffed, licking his lips. “You’re going to break up with me after I fucking told you I love you the most?”

“You don’t,” you pressed. “If you do, you wouldn’t constantly be so insecure about Sam or any of my old exes. I shower you with endless amounts of approval every day, trying to make you feel a bit better about yourself, and you just don’t care. You pull me in with all the lovebombing, telling me we’re perfect for each other, and then you pull some shit like all of it is nothing.`

Jungkook was silent. You stared back at him, tears welling up in your eyes.

“I don’t know…I don’t know if I want to continue doing this. It’s been two years since we’ve dated and I feel like every day, I don’t know who I’m going to get next. It feels like you’re just here to only want me when you’re happy and don’t when you’re not happy. Like, what is the point of all of this?”

“‘What’s the point…’” he repeated, only to stop from there. Putting his face in his hands, he sighed deeply. “Maybe you’re fucking right. Maybe I really don’t know what the hell I want in this relationship. We fight so much and it’s so volatile. I don’t know why, I just…I always feel like I have to argue because sometimes, my dear, I cannot stand you when we do. Like, you don’t understand how I feel, how much I need to be consoled that I’m the only one–”

“YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE, JUNGKOOK,” you yelled, your hands shaking. “I keep telling you this and you don’t FUCKING believe me!”

“Then, why are you still having lunch with Sam?”

“Because we’re close friends!”

“And I’m not to you? My feelings don’t fucking matter, does it?”

“It does, it’s just–FUCK.”

You broke down into sobs as Jungkook hit the steering wheel, crying as well. In fact, that was all you two did for a bit.

“I’m going to go,” you said after a while, sniffling as you grabbed your purse. “I don’t know if we’re going to be okay after this–”

“We’re not,” Jungkook said with finality. “Let’s do it. Let’s break up.”

You turned over to him, looking at him straight in the eye. He was dead serious.

“Fine.”

You opened the door, got out, and closed the door shut behind. Jungkook put the car into drive, and drove off almost immediately.

[“𝘌𝘕𝘋 𝘖𝘍 𝘍𝘐𝘓𝘌 𝘛𝘏𝘙𝘌𝘌 𝘏𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘙𝘌𝘋 𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘚𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘚𝘐𝘟. 𝘌𝘕𝘋 𝘖𝘍 𝘑-𝘑-𝘒, 𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙𝘚𝘊𝘖𝘙𝘌, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘋𝘈𝘚𝘏, 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠-𝘛𝘞𝘖 𝘋𝘖𝘛 𝘡𝘐𝘗.”]

And so the tape ended.

It was days, days before you could move on from the contents of the disk. You miss Jungkook more than ever before. The doctors were right about the empty feeling, it does go away.

Except, it was replaced by something else, an array of feelings you feel after watching the tapes.

And so, you went on about your days. Typical, normal days.

Then, you ran into somebody. Someone who you only saw on the tapes.

It was a nice summer day when it happened. You were running errands, trying to catch up for the week and decided to stop by your favorite coffee shop.

“Jungkook?”

The young man turned around. He was wearing all black with another colored Supreme beanie with Birkenstocks.

“____?” he replied back, although unsure. You nodded, putting your small bag of groceries behind your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you answered. “It’s me.”

A moment of silence.

“Uh, I watched the tapes…um, well. I should probably preface that I deleted you from my memories–”

“Me too.”

You stood there, frozen.

“Oh.”

So that answered your question whether he did the procedure too.

“Yeah…” Jungkook continued on. “Um, I went back to see them too and uh…” his fingers began to fidget with the bottom of his shirt. “Well, I know that I don’t necessarily remember anything or remember why I chose to severe you, I can’t help but to feel sorry. For us. For what happened. I don’t know why I feel that way, but I do.”

He was deeply remorseful, very apologetic. You couldn’t help but to feel bad, lowering your bag of groceries to the ground as Jungkook stared at them, unsure of how to really react.

“I wish I didn’t delete you,” he concluded. “I wish we were still together. Watching those tapes made me feel like I lost out on something. I don’t know why I was so insecure. I could care less if you’re friends with your exes. Maybe I’m just too immature at the time. I know a great deal of time has passed, but I want us to–”

He coughed a bit, choking on his words.

“I want us to–”

He coughed a bit more, and then…

Vomit.

“Oh my God!” you exclaimed as the crowd did the same, with a few people hastily grabbing napkins from their bags so Jungkook could clean himself up.

You stared at him agape as you remembered what Jimin had said the first day you two had met.

“You…you were the guy who threw up when you saw your disk, didn’t you?” you inquired. Jungkook, now, wiping his mouth, looked up.

“How did you know?”

Your mouth grew into a smile.

“Heard from somebody.”

Jungkook smiled as well, standing up as he straightened himself up in an attempt to try to look bigger.

“Ah, well, they say it’s a side effect or something. Your body remembers.”