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You traumatized me, you abandoned me, you ruined me. I hope you still hate yourself

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My mother taught me emotions were weak.

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He practically proposed right when he came back. Why would he do that? Only a desperate bimbo would say ‘yes’.

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I no longer want to do this. I think it was good we broke up in the first place. He cares about what people think about him, and that’s weak, and my mother taught me weakness was the worst thing possible—even though everyone is weak.

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Fuck you.

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This is impossible. This is bullshit.

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I am sorry if you think I am bitching too much. I am not normally like this, but the circumstances are extenuating. If you don’t like this, you may want to get out"

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The worst thing you can do is keep me in the dark.

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Regardless, I think I’m too intense for him.

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Here’s my point: I can’t wait around without any answers forever. I don’t care if things are perfect, but at this point, I can’t help but bitch a little about this. Perhaps that makes me weak. I guess I will just have to learn to live with the reality that I am weak.

Heck, the weakness was going to come out anyway.

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Again, I don’t get why everything needs to be perfect right now. Or ever.

But this is not fair on my end. I don’t even know if anything is ever going to come of this, because all this seems too crazy, and I have no answers.

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This in stating the obvious, but I want more information. Obviously, for whatever reason, I can’t know everything, but I would appreciate it if I could get a time frame on this whole thingy.

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I don’t understand how anyone could believe in free will. Feelings affect actions. You may want to argue that people can avoid acting how they feel, but they can only avoid acting in such a way if they feel like it. This should be a simple concept, and I pretty much knew it existed before I found it explained online. Most feelings are dumb.

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S4 was all a bad dream.

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I guess I always knew this, but I just consciously realized certainty seems arrogant. Most of me sees that it shouldn’t seem that way, but a part of me questions that.

I wonder if I kind of buy into that because society promotes that idea. Maybe it’s just my perception.

Then again, maybe not; society says the status quo is always right. Fucking society.

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I frequently feel like I am so right about stuff, and I question who would disagree with me. Sometimes, I then start questioning all the assumptions I made that support my conclusions, and everything comes undone, and everything is a mess.

Even though I know two plus two is four, a part of me wants proof that two plus two can’t equal any other number. Complete proof of such a thing would require testing every number in the universe. Imagine that.

Of course, questioning every little detail is useless, but sometimes, I just fear ‘being wrong’ that much.

Undoubtedly, I like my world precisely defined because, growing up, I was baffled by what makes a person ‘happy’ or ‘sad’. My mother was so different from other people. And I never knew what could make her legitimately happy, either.

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sherlock you don’t have clearance to throw government paperwork out the window