2007whatten

[2007whatten]

Chinese babies and toddlers traditionally wear belled anklets - ideally chains with bells and good luck symbols, all in silver or gold, but historically there probably would have been examples with eg string, steel, or similar alternatives. There was a particular cheap, silvery metal described in late Qing sources, idk what it is in English.

Part of this is a practical way to keep track of where the baby is once they get fucking mobile, part of this is superstitious - to 'chain' the baby to the world and from being stolen away by evil spirits, aka the 46% historical child mortality rate.

It's a sad, sad day in the Burial Mounds when A-Yuan's anklet - the one little valuable they have left, hidden carefully in the prison camps and barely worth anything to begin with - has to be sold off to buy food. It did its job alright - it indirectly kept A-Yuan alive and healthy a little while longer. But why did it have to be that way?

Granny Wen was the one who fought the most about selling it. The old woman was surprisingly fierce while she argued with the Yilling Patriarch who had slaughtered thousands.

"It's necessary!" she insisted. "Look at where we are living now! This place is filled with evil spirits that will snatch A'Yuan away given half a chance- he needs to keep it!"

"All of the spirits here fear me," Wei Wuxian argued back. "None of them would dare touch any of you as long as you stay within the barriers."

"Granny, we have nothing in food or supplies. The money Wei Wuxian had with him is already gone," Wen Qing did her best to reason with her elder.

"We will forage and hunt for food!"

"Too many of us are sick or injured for that right now. I don't like this either, but we can buy a cheaper replacement for A'Yuan after we sell-"

Granny shot from her seat at the word 'replacement'. "Absolutely not! There is no replacing it! My son made it with his own two hands as a gift to his son! You cannot replace that!"

All at once the fight seemed to leave Granny Wen and she collapsed into her seat. She put her head in her hands to cover her wet eyes.

[2007whatten]

Don’t know why I’ve never sent this considering I’ve known about this fact but oh well. The human bite is considered to be a very dangerous bite. Worst comes to worse, you could lose an arm from the infection it creates. So when LWJ bites WWX on his arm, WWX, weak from fever and having fallen into an unclean pool of Xuanwu blood, gets a large infection on his arm. Up to you whether it gets treated in time or not.

Ok I know Ive gotten asks about these two dying while trapped in the caves but this is just... Its bad that I found it funny. Fighting and killing a legendary beast with little to no weapons? No problem. Biting/getting bit by your crush? Fatal.

[2007whatten]

In CQL during Phoenix Mountain when Jin Zixuan gets angry and swings his sword at wwx while he moves into a protective stance in front of jyl, lwj isn't fast enough to deflect and wwx is stabbed. Does he live? Die? Is his lack of a core discovered? What happens to the Wen when he doesn't run into wq?

Of course he lives! WWX gets stabbed more times then a pin cushion and just walks it off like its nothing. This would be a fun set up for the golden core reveal though.

[2007whatten]

My obsession with fem!NHS lives on

I would like to point out that for much of Chinese history, the legal age of marriage for girls was 14 on average, and during the Qing dynasty and well into the modern age, the average age was 16 (20 for men, iirc). Yes, there was a legal minimum age, I'm as shocked as you are.

fem!NHS is the only female heiress apparent to a Great Sect - the only future Great Sect leader who would be obligated to obey their spouse and in-laws. NMJ has been grimly fending off betrothal requests (up to and including sending her to be fostered by her fiancé's family as a 'little daughter-in-law'/future wife for one of their sons) since she was six.

When she was fourteen and thus, legal, the jewellery gifts and event invitations started arriving in earnest. Particularly, jade bangles and invitations to banquets.

Jade bangles are usually sized as small as the wearer can physically put on and take off, and as they are believed to have protective properties, it's common to never take them off for years, or ever - until the wearer's hand grows (if they're young enough) or their joints stiffen and it becomes impossible to remove. Very good carriers for love spells, or some variant thereof.

Banquets - well, alcohol is served, canon NHS is small, let alone a fem!NHS. Enough said.

NHS is well aware of all of this and becomes both extremely conscious of who she's drinking with, and 'inexplicably' very attached to a random jade bangle that had supposedly belonged to her mother; thus she has a good way of politely not wearing any other bangles except to briefly try them on.

A pair of loyal Nie disciples is tasked with screening any and all gifts for NHS, particularly jewellery. Baxia is kept very sharp and frequently rattling in its sheath as NMJ eyes yet another predator eyeing his fourteen-year-old sister drinking wine.

With no apparent interest in NHS and Qinghe Nie so used to only looking for threats to NHS, Meng Yao's own plots against NMJ slip beneath their notice.

I honestly love seeing fem NHS aus. It just fits so well into canon and I'm dying for more female characters who actually live to see the end of the novel.

[2007whatten]

WWX was sick after Sunshot at first he thinks it's a after effect of the Golden Core Transfer Surgery, it's WQ in the Burial Mounds who identifies a terminal disease.

WWX uses the Stygian Tiger Amulet to ressurect WN and permanently protect the Burial Mounds, A few weeks later he passes away without anyone apart from the Wen Remnants noticing.

Eventually NHS notices, putting together the clues realising WWX has been dead the whole time. By this point Jin Zixuan, JGS and NMJ have been assassinated(By JGY) , a traumatised JYL having long been driven back to Lotus Pier with JL by JGS being a creep.

WWX finds himself unexpectedly ressurected and helps NHS unravel JGY's actions. (NHS has a low opinion of LWJ who in the 13 or 16 years did not notice WWX was dead) the angst comes from the revelation that WWXs alibi proving his innocence to the entire cultivation world was that he was literally dead the entire time.

Tears, recriminations and WWX being worryingly himself in regards to self esteem.

WWX poking his own preserved corpse WN had carried in to dramatically place on a table in front of the cultivation Discussion Conference "WQ? You kept my corpse under preservation charms? I guess the sayings true about living fast, dying young and leaving behind a beautiful corpse-"

*Fan smack* "Ow!"

"Not funny Wei-xiong!"

LWJ a wreck in the background.

.

[2007whatten]

after jiang yanli and jin zixuan's engagement falls a part, jiang fengmian thinks about who he wants his daughter to marry and brings up the idea of wei wuxian and jiang yanli getting married. in his eyes this is a great match, as it means all of them can stay in lotus pier (so yanli doesn't have to move away to be with her husband's family) & he trusts wei wuxian to take care of yanli, but everybody else is horrified. yu ziyuan hates the idea of actually having to be related to wei wuxian even in an in-law capacity, the jiang sibling trio are horrified because they all view each other as siblings, and its a blow to wei wuxian because he always thought of the jiang family as his family, but this is sort of proof that jiang fengmian doesn't really think the same way (otherwise he wouldn't want wei ying to marry his daughter). since everyone hates the idea so much, jiang fengmian concedes that it wasn't a good idea, but even the fact that mentioned it permanently ruins everybody's family relationship with him and makes wei wuxian feel like he is viewed as an outsider.

maybe also as a consequence to this, wei wuxian starts acting more distant from jiang yanli because he is afraid of how other people view their relationship now (he has always viewed her as an older sister, and while he knew that some people didn't understand that, in the past he didn't care because he didn't care what others thought in the distant, but now he knows even someone as close as jiang fengmian can misinterpret that relationship, and he doesn't want anybody to try to misinterpret it again) and jiang yanli is heartbroken because she also loves wei wuxian as a brother and hates how distant he's being, but she understands that it's not really his fault and that this is just a bad situation

Oh I like this one. JFM wants WWX to be his son in law but all the siblings are like isnt he Already Your Son?!?

[2007whatten]

Is anyone going to write anything about JYL being within groping range of JGS? And JGS going after a conveniently in range woman? Something to the tune of JZX being a bit of a oblivious naive dumbass, JC being himself and WWX being a good brother.

I don’t know about everyone else, but I just tell myself Jin Zixuan and Madam Jin guarded her like the absolute treasure that she is. Maybe Jin Zixuan trained one or two dogs to never leave her side and no hesitate to maul anyone (JGS) who tried to harm her. Or maybe Madam Jin made it very clear to her husband that if he tried anything with their daughter in law she would make sure his sword could never be used again. Or maybe Jiang Yanli was just very cautious and made sure to never ever be alone with her father in law.

But my god can you imagine the pain if he actually did do something to her? She doesn’t want to talk about it because what would everyone think? She would be a ruined woman. Rumors spread so easily and that anyone finding out would turn disastrous. Her husband would set her aside and Madam Jin would think of her as another of her husbands whores and her brothers would charge in and start another war when they hadn’t ever recovered from the last one. Her silence keeps the peace and thats all she’s ever wanted- a peaceful, happy life.

[2007whatten]

I don't think it's very angsty but Modern AU where Yanli is in her 20's but the boys are middle schoolers. Newly married Jiang Yanli sues her parents for custody of Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying. She has the money and the means now (part of the reason she agreed to marry Jin Zixuan even if he was a total brat) and is more than willing to fight her parents.

She had wanted to do it when she turned eighteen. She had spent months leading up to her birthday researching how to get custody of her little brothers. She called lawyers unassociated with her parents for legal advice. She had even thought of dropping out of school to get a job, get an apartment, and kidnapping her little brothers. She's near desperate to get her sweet brothers away from her abusive mother and her willfully ignorant and neglectful father.

None of it would have worked considering how much money and connections her parents had.

So she continued to play the dutiful daughter and went to college, swearing to build a solid safety net and home for her brothers to run to the second they turned eighteen. Until then she kindly insisted that her parents let her brothers spend the night at her off campus apartment every night that they could.

And then Jin Zixuan started making puppy eyes at her every time they saw each other. She had figured that them going to the same university was an act of meddling from their mothers, but Jin Zixuan later confessed to her (very publicly) that he had chosen to attend the same college as her on purpose. She wasn't sure when or why Jin Zixuan had convinced himself he was in love with her, but she saw the golden opportunity for what it was.

The Jin family were stupid rich. Old money wealth with a new money taste for luxury, her father said. It was rumored that the families current head was rotten to the core and had his pick of judges and politicians in his pocket to get him out of any trouble he gets himself into. It wasn't ideal, but it was exactly what she needed.

"I will marry you, A'Xuan," she promises one night. The way his face lights up is endearing. "But only under one condition."

"Anything," Jin Zixuan says eagerly.

She kisses him softly, lovingly as a little reward for his easy obedience and he melts.

[2007whatten]

The Jin don’t let JL go to Yunmeng until he turns 13 then send him alone on his own with only a map and his (at best) mediocre flying skills. The objective is to fuck with JL and make him mistrust Jiangs. JC visits, of course, but he’s the scary uncletm and a 5 days journey is long for a sect leader. So they send him a few hours early, make JC a few hours late. JL is outside waiting for almost 6 hours, suffers a severe hypothermia and discovers just how much his scary brooding Jiujiu loves him.

.

[2007whatten]

Okay, the timeline is completely fucked, but, A-Yuan is Wang Lingjiao's child. He's also Jiang Cheng's. WWX finds out, does the math and realizes why JC was so disgusted with the child.

Jiang Cheng didn’t want to talk about what was done to him while Wen Chao had him, so Wei Wuxian didn’t ask. He didn’t bring up the state he found his brother in when he rescued him or the way Jiang Cheng flinched when anyone other then his siblings tried to touch him.

He doesn’t say anything when he realizes why Wen Yuan looked so familiar. He thinks Jiang Cheng saw it too, but his brother refused to look at the child after the one time and even though Wei Wuxian adored little Yuan and would not hesitate to die defending him, he couldn’t find it in himself to be upset about it.

“She died screaming,” he told Jiang Cheng before they staged their big fight. “She was terrified for weeks before I let her die. She didn’t even sleep in those last days because she was too afraid to close her eyes. I made sure the corpses tore her apart slowly.”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes looked suspiciously wet as he raised his sword. “I’m not going easy on you, so stop trying to be sweet.”

[2007whatten]

Social Media AU. YouTuber Jiang Cheng is being interviewed. He brags about his siblings and his nephews, shows pictures upon pictures of all of them together. But when asked about his parents he snorts and says he has no pictures of them. "It's not like they ever acted like parents in the first place."

Love the casual trauma dumping for him. People would definitely make it a meme and his parents wouldn’t know a days rest.

[2007whatten]

Impostor!Au where Jiang Cheng is the only one to figure out that Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian are impostors. When they save the original MY and JFM, people ask him how he'd known then he'd say, "They were worried about me. They acted like they cared about me, JYL, and WWX. They were NICE." (Lowkey inspired by that one Supernatural scene) ain't that a trip? That literal Impostors were better parents to the three of them than the original people who "raised" them?

Oof

[2007whatten]

What if JC became afraid of being touched after having his core melted. Even after receiving WWX's, he can't bear the feeling of physical contact

And then, WWX started flinching away from everyone aswell, traumatised from the BM and afraid if someone descovering he had no core anymore.

All of a sudden, JYL has two siblings and neither will let her hug them. She's far from happy

Ohh I'm picturing Jiang Yanli reach out to pat Jiang Chengs head and he, totally on instinct, smacks her hand away. Shes stunned and it takes a second or two for him to realize what he just did before hes nearly in tears trying to apologize.

[2007whatten]

so like jgy and xy experimented on living people right, that cage scene haunts me where they were trying to escape from fierce corpses, so i wonder what would happen when wwx who's able to hear the dead hears souls screaming for help, begging to be let out, the children, the old, its so loud he doesnt realize he's dug his nails into his skin until hes bleeding, or that hes bleeding from his ears. what if its a nighthunt and the juniors are there too

Oh if its a nighthunt with the kids he's going to do his absolute Best to laugh it off. Haha, would you look at that, I AM bleeding! Hey now, no need to worry, I'm not so weak that something like this will slow me down. Lets make this a teachable moment!

[2007whatten]

Yandere JFM AU where it's not CSSR he pines after but WCZ. When he was strongarmed into marrying Madam Ew, he told himself with WCZ by his side, it'd be bearable, he'd still have a safe space, but then CSSR swoops in & JFM decides he'll attempt the impossible....subtly.

He lets YZY rage over his supposed "crush" over CSSR until it culminates to a breaking point. When she sets out to kill the rogue cultivators & frame it as a nighthunt gone wrong, he hires ANOTHER person to ensure YZY is also "tragically" killed but WCZ & WWX are spared.

Without one breadwinner, WCZ & WWX return to Lotus Pier where JFM gladly welcomes him back as his right-hand & the Jiang sibs new parent figure. And if both widowers find comfort in each other well....that's just what "sworn brothers" do.

It really was too easy to stir his wives ever burning jealousy into an inferno. He just need to close his eyes and sigh Cangse's name while sharing Ziyuan's bed. And yes the beating he got was painful, but worth it in the long run.

She fumed the rest of the night and left for a 'hunt' without telling him. He quickly sent five disciples, each of whom have unsullied reputations and are known for being as truthful as a Lan, to follow after her. The men return four days later, kneel before him, and inform him that they witnessed his lady wife murder Cangse Sanren.

The tears he shed were real. Cangse may have ran off with someone who wasn't hers to take, but she had been a good friend to him and he was genuinely remorseful that it had to come to this.

When Yu Ziyuan returned to Lotus Pier, she and her maids were immediately detained. He had worked quickly to ensure she had no allies within the sect and all outside it heard the news too late. People would probably write songs and tell exaggerated tales about the lord who killed his wife to avenge his mistress, but he could ignore those.

What he wouldn't ignore, was his beautiful Changze and the wonderful son he brought home with him.

[2007whatten]

I need the behind the scenes of Atsushi’s entrance exam because the more I think about it the more chaotic it becomes.

Dazai didn’t even have a whole day to put everything together. Atsushi was found at night and had his exam was the next day.

Did they have to call Fukuzawa? Because they got his approval to conduct the whole thing. Was he asleep? Did his dad senses kick in and he answered the phone as soon as Dazai rang?

Because Kunikida mentioned Dazai buying drinks for everyone later so was Fukuzawa like do you kids need a ride?

…Actually on that, did they still go drinking? Was Dazai’s drunk arse rambling to Fukuzawa while Kunikida’s apologising for everything in the background.

They probably gave poor Junichiro a heart attack too. He’s underaged he wouldn’t be out drinking with them.

Did they just drag the poor guy out of bed like hi we need a crazed terrorist tomorrow and thought of you.

Atsushi’s fast asleep while Junichiro’s up all night practicing his lines. Because nothing says deranged murderer like sleep deprivation.

Did Dazai plan to get stuck in an oil drum for hours? Or was it just eh you know I’ve got time I’ll just try this out first then wake Atsushi.

I can just imagine Dazai and Kunikida fake arguing for authenticity and then both of them forget that it’s supposed to fake.

Make it look believable and it was way more than it should’ve been.

Kunikida was just out here pulling out real impressions for this public humiliation of Osamu Dazai because he doesn’t half arse anything.

Like the fact this thing went off without a hitch is actually impressive and I gotta know how many of them were hung over during this event.

Watch that be the reason why Atsushi didn’t have party, everyone was just too busy nursing their headaches.

[2007whatten]

Bruce: *gets kidnapped*

Clark: *suddenly becomes the scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Tim: *gets kidnapped*

Kon: *suddenly becomes the second scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Damian: *gets kidnapped*

Jon: *to the kidnappers* hey guys! no, don’t worry, I’m just here to give yall a fair warning—hey dude shooting people isn’t nice—that you have maybe two minutes before Dami gets impatient and violent so you might just wanna let him go! yeah I can take him home!