19jsteffen-blog

[19jsteffen-blog]

To swim or not to swim

Yesterday was the first time I had swam in a week. This is very unusual for me since I go to practice every day, sometimes twice in one day. During this week off, at first I felt very free and I would go home and make myself a complicated snack, so basically a meal, and then I would either work out or take a nap. Usually after 2 days off from swimming I am itching to go back in the water but this time, I wasn’t. This was strange because I began to question whether or not I even wanted to go back to swimming. This sport has always been a huge part of my life and as much as I love it, I also have begun to hate it. At times, it feels as if I am obligated to keep on swimming because I have been doing it and putting so much work into it for so long.

This season I didn’t end up getting my CCS cuts and this added to the frustration that I was beginning to have with swimming. When I was younger, older swimmers on my team would tell me that swimming is 90% mental and 10% physical; I 1000% believe that this is true. I think that a huge part of swimming is being able to be confident in your training and yourself, so that when you step up on the blocks for your race you know what you are capable of. Personally, I didn’t necessarily feel ready in terms of my training but I wanted to believe that my passion for getting my cuts would help me succeed.

After practice yesterday, I felt slow (because I hadn’t swam for a week) but I also felt a little better about swimming again. Although I still am having many doubts about whether I want to even continue swimming, I also think that continuing to swim will be useful in terms of having a place where I can get away from home and school. I don’t want this blog post to sound like a negative complaint about my life and swimming but at the same time I want people to know that although I am known as a swimmer or water person, I am not necessarily happy when I swim. On the other hand, I also love all my teammates and friends from swimming and if I continue (I probably will), it will be because of my love for them!

[19jsteffen-blog]

vegetarianism

Everyone is always surprised when they find out that I am vegetarian. Some of my friends tell me that I seem like the type of person to be an aggressive meat eater and my other friends wonder how I’m vegetarian since I’m always talking about my love of fried chicken. Ever since I can remember, I have always been vegetarian because my mom was one too. All of my mom’s friends always wonder why she’s vegetarian because she grew up in Germany which is famous for its meat eaters.

A dilemma that I have always faced with my “vegetarianism” is why I’m actually vegetarian. I honestly don’t like most types of meat (beef, pork, turkey), which is an obvious reason for being vegetarian, but my love of fried chicken sometimes betrays me. I also don’t support the meat industry and how they treat animals which is another reason for being vegetarian. Finally, I know that I would get tired of meat after a week.

My only problem with being vegetarian is that people and restaurants feel the need to make vegetarian meals healthier than they need to be. I have never understood why meals can’t be made without just the meat for example, sandwiches with cheese, turkey, tomatoes, lettuce and other condiments can be made without the turkey instead of creating a whole new sandwich with hummus and other gross vegetables. Although at times it is very beneficial to have healthier meals I also get frustrated because I feel like people associate vegetarians with vegans and picky eaters but I am neither of them! Something that hits close to home is at school when the cafeteria runs out of vegetarian options. I know it might seem like I am complaining, which I kind of am, but I get frustrated because although there are fewer vegetarians, I still think that they should have back up and better options for us!

[19jsteffen-blog]

“Smart”

Something that has been on my mind a lot lately is the difference between being street smart and book smart. I want to start off by saying that the word smart kind of bothers me because I honestly don’t believe that someone can truly define what the word means, but going to Castilleja I feel like there is an immense pressure for everyone to be book smart in the sense that being smart entails getting good grades and generally doing well or liking school. Personally, I enjoy being in the classroom and learning new concepts or languages but sometimes I feel out of place when so many of my peers bring school home with them. Obviously everyone needs to do their homework, study for tests and apply what we learn in school to the real world but at times I feel that besides these examples, school shouldn’t define a person. What I mean by this is that even if someone gets 100%’s on all of their tests, they might be super smart in a school setting but when they go out into daily life, they could easily be completely lost.

I consider myself someone who is more “street smart” because I feel like I interact well with people and I enjoy talking and learning about others. I also feel like since I only have one parent at home, I have learned to become more independent and resourceful which is a different kind of smartness than doing well in school. I am not saying that everyone who is intelligent can’t be street smart or vice versa but I believe that it is very important to have a balance between doing well in academics and knowing how to behave in certain settings because in order to get a job or form relationships, knowing calculus or historical facts won’t get you anywhere. I wish that people realized this whenever they get a grade that they consider to be good because being amazing at school is not everything. I think that it is so important to have manners and common etiquette when going out to eat or to someone’s house. Anyways, I hope that this post makes sense since I was kind of rambling but I have been thinking about the differences in the types of smartness and I truly believe that being street smart is just as important or even more important than being smart in school.

[19jsteffen-blog]

My Bro

For some reason whenever I go away for home for a long time or even for one night I always miss my brother. Ever since we moved into our current house, my brother and I have shared our own little sector in the house. A long hallway connects to my room on the left then a bathroom on the right and then his room is at the end. My brother and usually go to bed around the same time if I don’t have too much work or studying to do, and almost every night we stay up for at least 30 minutes to talk about our days or anything that has been going on. Sometimes if we’re both in weird moods I go into his room and sit on the edge of his bed to joke around or annoy him, and he does the same to me. This usually results in him getting mad at me and then he usually involves my mom and blames me for not letting him go to sleep. The difference between my brother and I is that I never involve my mom when he comes into my room. Even though a lot of the times my brother is super obnoxious when he sits at the edge of my bed at 10:00 or at 11:30 preventing me from sleeping, I appreciate him because I love my brother. Since my household only consists of my mom, my brother and I, sometimes our house feels so empty, so whenever my brother is willing to troll around or talk to me about the most random things, it really matters to me and makes me happy.

It might sound silly to miss my brother because of course I would miss him since he is my brother, but I genuinely feel the utmost at home when I spend time with my brother, so whenever I’m away from him, I’m not truly at home. Just recently I’ve started to learn that my brother and I are actually very similar, which I didn’t use to think was true. Whenever I drive him to swim practice or go to safeway to get ice cream or candy, my brother and I seem to think in the same way. If my brother sees something funny on the side of the road, I will most likely be dying in my seat because I find the same thing he saw hilarious. Again, it’s probably obvious that my brother and I would be similar and have a similar personality since we are related, but for some reason whenever we share a moment of laughter or annoyance for the same thing, when I am away from him and I see something that I know we would both laugh about, it makes me miss him because he is home.

[19jsteffen-blog]

What I brought back from the DR

I feel like we have answered this question many times since we came back from our trips, but I think that each time I have said something different. To be honest, the reason I changed my answer each time was because I didn’t want to say something “stereotypical” or what someone had already said. I also think that I was too scared to talk about my “real” answer to this question. I don’t really know why I was scared because my answer is not embarrassing or disrespectful, but I just think that people would not understand or necessarily agree with my answer.

What I brought back from the Dominican Republic was an even stronger passion for languages. I love speaking in different languages! When we were with the Mariposa girls, we had to speak in spanish because they could not understand or speak english very well. Because of this, I only could speak spanish and if I didn’t know how to say something, I would have to find another way to say it because otherwise I would’ve had to stop talking or change the subject to something that was easier to talk about. This skill was interesting because it put me a little outside my comfort zone at first, but then by the end of the trip, I think that I was able to speak fluid spanish. This trip also helped me realize that languages have so much power because without them, we could not communicate at all or as well as we would communicate if we spoke a language. Many of the castilleja students on the trip couldn’t speak any spanish, and I think that it was challenging for them to speak with the Mariposa girls because they physically couldn’t speak to them. Before this trip I didn’t really think that knowing German, French and Spanish would be immensely useful, but I now realize that knowing these languages might actually allow me to meet many more people and I might be able to talk and collaborate with them to come up with new ideas and creations for the future, which is very cool!

[19jsteffen-blog]

Skrt Skrt

Any one of my friends can testify that I love driving. I probably talk about driving at least once every day, but before this week I didn’t really understand why I actually love driving. Before, I could not wait to jump into my car because it meant that I had the freedom to go anywhere- either to a friend’s house or the beach or to a restaurant. Now, I still appreciate how much more independent I am and how much freedom I have, but I also realized that I love having time to myself. This might sound like I’m a loner or really weird but I realized that I just love sitting in my car and listening to music or watching different cars drive in front of me. Whenever I am in my car I can relax and I don’t have to worry about school or home and all I need to do is focus on the road and the cars around me. If i’m in a bad mood when I get into my car I will sometimes scream or play intense music and If i’m in a good mood I will think of the randomest things and occasionally burst out laughing because I think of something funny. I am so, so happy that I got my license in the summer and I strongly encourage anyone who doesn’t have their license to get it because driving is so fun and it allows you to have time to yourself and to truly let go of anything you are thinking about!

[19jsteffen-blog]

The Danger of a Single Story

The Ted talk we listened to was about how we make assumptions or have one single story about a certain place and the people that live there when we go there for the first time. I believe that in some cases this is true but I also believe that many people travel to new places with very open mindsets. I am scared that the people in the Dominican Republic will have a set picture of who we are- I do not want them to think that we are rich, snobby girls. I hope to form connections with the girls from Mariposa Foundation and I want them to get to know us and be friends with us instead of thinking that we are some random girls on a trip to the Dominican Republic. On the other hand, I think that the girls will be very excited to get to know us because I also can’t to meet them, so I wonder if they will have a “single story” of us or if they will have an open mindset?

[19jsteffen-blog]

Stop Tweeting Bro

Today I read an article that was titled “Chuck Schumer to Trump: ‘Stop tweeting and start leading’”. After the recent terrorist attack in New York, Trump tweeted: “The terrorist came into our country through what is called the ‘Diversity Visa Lottery Program,’ a Chuck Schumer beauty. I want merit based”. From what he is saying, I feel like he is blaming Senator Chuck Schumer, which is not fair and honestly unacceptable. As the president of the United States of America he needs to be able to take action whenever a “crisis” or “attack” that harms or kills our citizens, but instead he is blaming Chuck Schumer for allowing the terrorist to enter the US. I cannot understand how this is logical or just because Trump is turning his back on and betraying a fellow member of government. He wants our country to become stronger and stick together, but then he accuses a senator for allowing the terrorist attack to happen. This is unacceptable.

[19jsteffen-blog]

Weather

Lately I have begun to appreciate the hot weather more. Whenever it is sunny, I find myself wanting to outside and lay on the circle and soak up the sun. Today, the weather is the complete opposite of how it was earlier this week: it is cold and cloudy. When I woke up this morning, my entire mood changed. All I wanted to do was lay in my bed instead of outside in the sun. For me, cloudiness symbolizes unproductiveness because I function in a completely different way when there is no sun. This might sound really weird, but it’s true! The sudden changes in weather also affect our environment because it is really hard for plants and animals to adjust from boiling temperatures and constant sun to cold and cloudy temperatures. I involve the environment because it is important to realize that these sudden changes in weather come from global warming, even though some people still don’t believe that global warming even exists! Using something as simple as weather, I don’t understand how people think that global warming is “fake” and I wonder what they think causes the weather to change drastically.

[19jsteffen-blog]

Part of me: India

Today at the beginning of my club I was talking about how the current air quality and smell reminded me of India. Many of my club members were shocked to find out that I am 50% indian. This happens to me a lot because I do not look Indian, so I shared my heritage with them and explained how I was connected to India. This moment reminded me a little of the moment in The Great Gatsby where Jordan narrates Gatsby and Daisy’s history. I was reminded of this particular scene because in a way it was similar to my moment today. Jordan was forced to share someone’s past because others (Nick) didn’t know what had happened with Gatsby and Daisy just as I was because some of my peers didn’t know that I was Indian.

This moment also led me to think about what people see me as when they first meet me. I am half German and half Indian, but I do not look like I come from either culture. I wonder where people think I come from or if they know that a huge part of my identity is that my heritage is from these 2 different cultures.

[19jsteffen-blog]

Dear Trump...

A few days ago, Stephen Paddock killed 59 people and injured 527 people in the largest mass shooting in American history. I am devastated that this is even possible and that so many families lost their loved ones because of one man. Lately it feels like there are so many disasters occurring in our world and in our country and I want something to be done about them. Our president seems to be doing nothing about these tragedies and I can’t stand it. Trump refuses to admit that this was an act of terrorism because the shooter was white, not muslim. His presidency and campaign has so far been all about hating on immigrants and those of other religion and races. He wants to diminish their rights and try to reverse what Obama has accomplished during his presidency, but instead Trump should be focusing on what is happening in our country, with our citizens: one of them was: Stephen Paddock.

[19jsteffen-blog]

Global Investigator Trip

A significant challenge for me on the global trip will be dealing with the exotic bugs in the Dominican Republic. This might sound like a really petty or miniscule issue but I am deathly afraid of bugs or spiders. Whenever I see a spider or bug, I start to become really scared and then I eventually yell for my mom or brother to come and kill it. During the trip, I won’t have them there to help me and I also will be seeing bugs that could possibly be even larger than at home: This scares me!!! I think that it will be important for me to go into the trip with the mindset of a leader and try to push away my fears instead of being a prisoner and dwelling in them. Being a “leader” could also mean that I embrace the fact that these bugs won’t hurt me and again, instead of thinking about them, I should go on with my day and have a great trip!

[19jsteffen-blog]

Home

For me home doesn’t have to be a certain place but instead is a combination of many feelings and people. My first home is with my family-- my brother and my mom. Whenever I am with them it feels like home since I have known them for my whole life. Most of the time, I happen to be at my house with them, so I guess I could say that my house is one of my “homes”.

My second home is based on the feeling of familiarity and a sense of community. Foothills Tennis and Swim Club represents these qualities because every time I go there, I see at least one of the kids I coach or one of the adults that have coached me in the past. This sense of familiarity is comforting and it makes me feel that I have a place where I can help others and they can also help me.

Finally, my last home is wherever my friends are. Most of the time I am always laughing or making jokes with them and that is what makes me happy. If I am at the beach or in downtown, I will feel at home because I am with people that share the same interests as me or just want to have fun!

[19jsteffen-blog]

Hamburgers and Fries

The first thing that pops into my head when I think of what it means to be an American is hamburgers and fries. I don’t know why I think of this since I have never actually eaten a hamburger. In a way hamburgers embody Americans because there are basic hamburgers and specialty ones. What I mean by this is that there are some people who live very simple lives and who are the typical Americans who live under a 2 story house with a white picket fence, and then there are people who live completely separate from the “American stereotype”. The majority of our population embodies the “specialty hamburgers”, meaning that they have cultures or ways of life that are unique. Although I just wrote that there are only 2 classifications of Americans, I believe that this is a little objective because anyone who lives in America or has American heritage is “American”. An American is someone who appreciates their country and who works and creates positive changes for others and inside of this definition there are the basic and specialty hamburgers which people chose to embody because of their cultures or ways of life.