17in2017 - Tumblr blog

[17in2017]

you can dance if you want to

What a year already--I've been so busy that I haven't made time to write here again, and I'm sorry for that! Where was I... oh yes! After my first riding lesson ever, I headed home for a quick shower and change of clothes before driving down to the big city for Ballet For Every Body. (Disclaimer: I'm still counting this as new because I honestly don't remember anything from the month of ballet class when I was five years old. That was over 25 years ago!)  I wasn’t quite sure what to expect as an inexperienced adult in a dance class, but it’s 2017 and I’m taking Rumi’s advice that if I want to do something, to give my whole heart to it.

I wasn't actually planning to take this class until about a week before it started! My friend M was friendly with the instructor, and posted on Facebook that it was in danger of being cancelled due to low enrollment. I'd thought it was interesting but inconveniently scheduled for me, but when M said she wanted to take it as her first class at that studio, I was on board. I'd taken several conditioning classes at the studio last year, and absolutely love it there, so I was pretty pleased to hear that M was willing to try a class, and wanted to cheer her on. I'd also just come up with the idea for this blog and figured, "Why not?" At worst I try something new for eight weeks, it kicks my ass in a not fun way, and I don't sign up again. The good news is that is not the case!

I picked M up and we arrived at the studio early so she could do waiver paperwork and get acclimated. As usual, the all-classes warmup kicked my ass, but that didn't surprise me as it was led by my conditioning class intructor. After we waved goodbye to the students in other classes, M, seven other people, and I went to the barre area to meet our instructor, J. They welcomed us all to the class, which was now fully registered plus a drop-in student that night, and asked each of us for our names and pronouns, checked whether we had any injuries or other physical issues, and whether it was okay to touch us to make corrections. This is actually standard for the studio and one of the things I really love about it there!

Aside: This was also the first time that I have given my pronouns as 'she or they' which felt immensely liberating and comfortable, and was pretty much the reason my genderqueer ass procrastinated on writing this post for a couple weeks because I wasn't sure how to say as much in text, but fuck it, I've IDed this way since the early/mid 2000s back when I was on LiveJournal and first found a word that fit how I feel. I present fairly feminine because I can't be arsed to care that much about how I look; I'm much more concerned with physical comfort and not having to spend any more time than absolutely necessary dealing with the complexities of clothing fit while short and fat. It's been awkward and uncomfortable to be presumed to be a representative of 'women in STEM fields' while in college and my early career because, well, I'm not...but I digress.

Anyway, I had to laugh and say, "Warn me if you're going to touch my feet because I'm ticklish!" I really don't want to kick J, they're so nice! J started us off by having us use lacrosse, tennis, and/or golf balls to massage our feet and legs prior to barre work. They walked us through basic ballet positions and introduced several new terms in French for the movements we were doing. There were honestly a fair number of new words, and I don't remember all of them even after three class sessions at this point, but most of what we focused on was body movement and relative positioning. I found the foot positions fairly easy but struggle a little with arms. And putting movements of feet together with movements of arms? Hoo boy, that's hard. I think after a few more classes that'll get easier as it becomes muscle memory, but I'm not quite there yet!

We start with massage, positions, and simple movements every class. I have had several moments of gratitude for my conditioning instructor’s refrain of, “Point your toes! From your quads!” which is great for circus classes in general but especially for ballet! So far J has introduced a couple of new moves each week, and reinforced previously learned ones. Other than a tendency to tuck my head forward to look at the mirror, I think I've been doing pretty well. Last week I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my super-strong calves are great for ballet. I'm below average in height for AFAB people, so I regularly stand on tiptoe to reach things, and that apparently makes for strong calves and a solidly high relevé. This week I managed to do a piqué turn in spite of J's warning that we probably wouldn't be able to on the first day. I feel like I'm actually making solid progress each week, and I look forward to the next class. Honestly, I sort of wish it were twice a week! M and I have also made some new friends in this class. I can't wait for next Monday!

Next up: same studio, different class!

[17in2017]

It begins, like many great stories, with a pony.

Don’t get your hopes too high: I’m not Tolkien, though I am just as short as  Thorin. And technically it began yesterday at noon. I had my first horseback riding lesson ever!

First off, I’m a little bit allergic to horses, probably more so after living across the street from a horse farm in college. Secondly, having never really interacted with them other than seeing draft horses at fairs as a kid, I was a little scared of the huge powerful animals. But some of my dearest friends have been riding for years, and getting back into it as adults, and my former roommate’s mom just fell in love with riding and bought a horse. Their Facebook posts had me curious about the experience.

So when V, one of the other students at the circus school I go to (more on that in a later post!), offered a deal on riding lessons during winter semester break, I figured, “Why the hell not? The worst case is that I discover I like it and my allergies get really bad. And honestly, even if that happens,  I get temporary enjoyment. I’m not going to live in fear. It’s going to be a new year.  Why don’t I do 17 new things in 2017? It’s a change from not making resolutions ever. I’m tired of living in fear.” So I booked a lesson with her.

And then proceeded to obsess about it, mostly quietly, but did tell my partner and my horse-loving friends. And another set of friends. I was a little excited. And nervous, so I researched videos about riding for beginners on YouTube and bought pants without an inseam because none of my leggings were suitable to wear and asked questions of my friends... but when I arrived yesterday, I still didn’t know quite what to expect. The place of knowing that you don’t know is a good one, I think, because it’s where learning happens.

As I gingerly stepped over the icy ground to the house, I could see three fuzzy Icelandic ponies in a paddock next to the house. I was actually here! And I would be touching and maybe even riding one...today! I met V, my teacher, who got me settled with paperwork and then we started. No, not with the pony. Before I would be near a pony, there was a lot to learn. She told me that riding is like a dance or partner acrobatics, where you move together. V did some exercises with me to explain what leading and reins felt like to the horse, and gauged my own relaxation and movements. (Spoiler: I hold a lot of tension in my body. I get a lecture about tension in my hips every time I get a massage.) I did manage to start noticing my own movements a little more closely, and tried to keep up with all the new information. Separately it wasn't too bad, and made a lot of intuitive sense. Putting it all together was a little more complicated.

V and I walked down to her indoor training area, then she got her schoolmaster pony from the icy paddock and had me watch that process. She walked the pony (whose name I cannot yet pronounce or spell because it's in Icelandic) around the training ring. I walked him around after that, to get a sense of how he follows a lead, while she ran back to the house to get something. This is when I started to feel a little more confident. He was following, and the exercises I'd done with V earlier were making sense with a real live pony! I learned to use a couple different brushes on him for grooming, first brushing and then bringing my hand behind for petting and checking for skin issues. I was so worried about pushing too hard with the brushes, but I didn't need to be!  Once his coat was sorted (and oh, his nose was kitten-fur-soft and pettable!), V tacked up and showed me mounting, a few gaits, and dismounting.

"He's so sweet!" I exclaimed. V grinned, "He's an Icelandic pony. They also eat them in Iceland. So you're either a good pony or 3,000 meatballs."

Okay, big moment, with V holding the reins, and as I stepped onto the IKEA stepstool that served as mounting block, I regretted not stretching. But an almost-split and a big reach later, I was on ponyback for the first time. It was such a startling and new feeling! The pony took a few steps around, not liking the stepstool next to him, and I just hung on, suddenly quite aware of just how far off the ground I was, and how uncomfortable a fall would be.  The stirrups were too low for me so V had me leave my legs just dangling, and talked about sitting more relaxed. She led him in walk and tölt while I just sat and tried to adjust to everything. The moment when it started to click was when I realized how much it felt like being on a boat, and getting sea legs, letting the wind and sea have ultimate control but still giving direction with sails and rudder. V reminded me that it's like learning a dance. I found it enjoyable overall, just slightly startling to get used to. I managed to dismount by myself and give the pony lots of love and thanked him for being so patient with me.

Time ran out and my lesson ended. V offered for me to watch the new lesson if I wanted, but I had to get home to shower before my next adventure of the day. I said goodbye and went to my car, where I immediately texted my friend, "SUCH PONY MUCH LOVE VERY WANT TO GO AGAIN"

All in all, a wonderful start!