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BUT HE’S DIFFERENT

Of course, sweetheart, we need someone different to win our hearts.

Few moments back, you’ve probably prayed for someone. Someone different from the ones you’ve met. Someone who runs the same race of faith with you. 

So you’ve waited and hoped for it.Then in the most unexpected time, he came.  You met him in a random place maybe in a coffee shop, in a gathering or in the bus on your long way home. You had the most fun, sensible conversation you seldom have with other people. He made you share stuff you aren’t sure people will be interested in yet you both laughed. He sounded kind and sincere, not to mention he reciprocates the topic and makes you comfortable.He made moves that revealed you all the go signals. There might be times that you just caught yourself staring at him with the amusement of the situation; like an antidote that could take the venom of your reservations. 

Yet you chose to endure it. Gave it sometime. It could be just another chitchat but he invited you out and you felt those strange thumping in your chest. You whispered a prayer that whatever it is, there won’t be any expectations.

But there were. A lot.Expectations that slowly built up strongholds inside you that no matter how irrational the situation is, you still have reasons to justify it. All, because with those expectations came hope and joy of the possibility of you and him; Perhaps a possibility of getting out of that cage, getting free from those chains of longingness and lamentations.

You walked the roads under the starry sky and the cold breeze. Not minding the distance, you were side by side talking how crazy this walking was. Then you stopped by a coffee shop and made the conversations deeper and hearts closer. The feeling’s getting harder to endure. 

So there it goes the fluttering heart ready to fly again.Few moments later, he’s gone silent. Nothing came next.His silence left you puzzled and curious. What was all of those then, you started to ask. You are disappointed but there’s no one to blame. You are angry for an open-ended story he left you. 

But, still you waited. You entertained the what if’s and maybe’s that could somehow save the sinking hope.But pause right there. And look back.Here’s one thing about men- if they want something, they pursue it.You knew about it from the start but it felt worth it to stand by the hopes you have with you.And it wasn’t wrong to think someone had finally made sparks and made connection with you, it is in fact one of the greatest feelings for us ladies. But stand guarded. 

Be careful not to get grounded because of the eagerness to know what’s next. Be careful not to lose yourself from doing things incautiously thinking you might lose the opportunity.And let me tell you this and disappointing it may sound, there are men who are really too nice to take you out, to take long hours of great conversations with you, to make you feel comfortable and secure but it doesn’t mean they are looking for an intimate relationship. It might only because they plainly respect you and they think you deserve that. On the other hand, they also collect then select. They also fear commitment and initiating stuff like conversations, treats or even dates gives them pride and confidence. And we shouldn’t put more spices on it that often leaves us overthinking.

Those ‘like’ icons in chat and short replies were actually harmless, they think they’re better responses than seen zones.Expectations give hope; and expectations hurt.There could have been more if.., It might have been like this if,.. what if I did or did not…Shake it off dear. Move on. It might be bitter now that things are clearer but remember that nothing is a wasted time and effort, everything comes with a purpose. He might not be the one yet after all the things you’ve checked in your prayer list, but he might have taught you something.

There are people who come to our lives that no matter how much sense they are already making, they’re still not the right persons for us. And when all the disappointments and desperations have passed, we’ll all just laugh at it and realize that it was better off like that after all.

It’s another closed door but don’t be discouraged to open another one and this time guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. (Prov. 4:23)

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CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES I For TEACHERS

How To be Less Stressed at Work?

It is never easy to start work perfectly and things will not always go in your way that fast. There will always be students, co-workers, or situations that will get in the way! And if you want to get the hang of it or at least survive the first years with less sweat, I am offering to you these 7 tips in choosing your battles in the profession. In my years of experience in the challengingly-fun teaching profession, here are the most helpful ones I have come up with. Enjoy!

#1. SET A FEW RULES AND FOLLOW IT CONSISTENTLY

A room without rules is chaotic. Have you ever lost your temper in class and shouted at your students? Then you felt embarrassed and guilty about it, told yourself you’re not going to do it again the next day. But then again, you still found yourself doing it, even worse. I was admittedly like this during my first year of teaching until I attended a very helpful seminar with an American speaker who inspired me to come up with my own consistent rule. We cannot always wish for a perfect class with a perfect flow of lessons. One of my most effective ways of taming students is the “Give Me Five” rule. It’s quite simple. I simply stand in front of the class and raise my right hand. After a second or two, students start to raise their right hand as well as they go back to their seats and wait for my next instruction. Once everyone is settled, I start to talk with my normal voice.

What is the Give-Me-Five-Rule?

I always introduce this to every class in the first day of the school year. They are only to do five very simple rules: Zip your mouth, Go back to proper seats, hands free, eyes on the teacher, listen. Disclaimer: The contents were adapted from the Google images. With this rule, I didn’t have to shout nor glare at students just to keep them still. I have also found this effective in a big crowd with the whole population of the school. It may be hard to establish this at first, but once you do it consistently, your teaching will more effective.

#2. SET A REASONABLE DEADLINE

Don’t get caught up in this major reason of stress! There were times when students come up to you asking for your considerations and extend miles of help for their projects or other requirements even if you’ve already set a due-date and reminded them a thousand times. We feel less respected then here come complaints and excuses, until we eventually get unnecessarily angry at them. More often than not, when they fail to accomplish the requirements, we give them a package size of project with a pea size of time. At the end, both we and the students are stressed. So when we require them to do something, think about the deadline first and as much as possible, don’t change it. Consider if it’s long enough to produce a great result, not just a petty finished product, and if you are also available to receive them.

As teachers, it is important to put some integrity on our words. When we set it, we stick to it. It is also one way to earn respect from our students.

#3 DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

There was one time when I entered the faculty room, a co-teacher was ranting, early in the morning about something. I was not intentionally listening but the tone of the voice, the negative words and emotions are too strong that I can’t help but eventually get affected. When I went out to meet my class, this naughty student didn’t even show any polite gesture to greet a teacher, so I scolded him. When they were having a seatwork, I noticed him not interested at all.

There was a cycle that went on and I was guilty for starting it. Negativity is everywhere! But the good news is, we can control how we receive them. This can be the example above, or a co-worker talking down on you, an unruly student, an unappreciative boss, a complacent parent, a slippery path, an awful smell, a bad outfit etc.

Before you let it get the better of you, ask yourself first:

Is it worth my attention and emotions? Will this compromise a relationship? Will my response give a positive impact?

If no, let go!

#4. LESS GOSSIP, MORE LIFE TALK

Women, especially, can’t help but talk. I got myself caught up in situations where I enjoy talking about others’ lives. Sometimes it’s healthy, sometimes it’s unnecessary. Gossip, in any reference we can look up to, destroys relationships.

Talk about people only when it’s helpful. The ‘talk’ becomes healthy if we talk about helping them about the situations they’re having or appreciating them for the great things they’ve done. The ‘talk’ now becomes life talk.

Talk about how you can be better, how inspiring something/someone is, how you felt about a situation and how you can cope from it. In this way, you and others can brainstorm about an idea or solution and both of you can inspire others. In this way, sarcasms, misunderstandings, misinterpretations may be avoided. In this way, life is much easier.

To make conversations more meaningful, look for a mentor.😉

#5. Make a SMART check-list and accomplish them

We only get productive when we are busy. So be busy with Specific-Measurable-Attainable-Realistic-Time bound goals for the day or for the week. Get yourself a planner or a mini notebook and commit it to that checklist of the day/week. It is good to know that you are aware of the things you need to do but putting them into writing is something else. When you are writing these mini goals, they somehow register in your subconscious mind and they become part of your day. I always do the listing before I sleep or in the morning before I start my work. I find this habit very helpful; it makes me busy and productive. I also feel fulfilled as I end my day. I don’t rush on things I should’ve done, I accomplish what I needed to do for the day and most of the time, I don’t forget commitments I agreed on.

#6. EAT BREAKFAST!

If you want to have a more peaceful day with your students, eat your breakfast! As the quote says, “Skipping breakfast is like trying to run a car without gas; you will not get very far. Food is the fuel for your body- start your day right.”

Most of the stress and the unnecessary emotions we have in the day are all simply because our stomachs are empty. It is actually one of the routines I take time in the morning. A breakfast can’t be that good if you can’t even savor it. So, as you have it, at least eat slowly and enjoy it before the rest of the day get the better of you.

#7. RESPECT YOUR COLLEAGUES’ PREFERENCES

Even though we have the same goal as educators, we have different beautiful ways of fulfilling it- and that needs to be respected. There is relativity in this matter, where in what is okay to you doesn’t always mean okay for others. In the small, four corners of the faculty room live a set of different personalities. Be sensitive to everyone’s preferences. Maybe you speak too loud or playing a loud music in the background, it may be fun sometimes but it helps to tone down when someone’s focusing on paperwork. Maybe your colleague’s quite out of fashion or would rather be simple, watch your words when giving comments. Maybe he’s not interested to something you’re very into, don’t insist too much. And the list goes on. This tip can also be applied when it comes to disciplinary actions.

I have confronted and observed teachers who don't do what the majority do. There were times I got offended by the disagreements of my terms and by others who judge and get impatient with my ways. When a problem arises, some prefer confrontation in general, some will insist in a one-on-one. But as I further understand, I don’t need to insist what should have been done and they shouldn’t have as well to me.

We can only encourage, share, and advice but we cannot force people to do the same. The rest is their choice.

SHARE if you agree :-)