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your body is a machine! that turns "penis" into " sucked penis "

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im not scared of the tigerman.

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ViralHog the dog dispenses a random pill once every 2 hours

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They look like if Jamie Lee Curtis split in half

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Dude i want the skoodydoo🐕 giant sandwich🥪

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when there’s an old photograph, AND the guy in it is really old, it’s like, wow, that guy is super old

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here comes the airplane

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joe biden, you stupid fuck. listen to me. Crimes are legal for sitting presidents as long as they’re official actions. Listen: Joe. You have one chance

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So, I guess as a middle range millennial, I now get to tell all you young queer kids that what you are feeling right now is exactly how it felt in 2004 when we re-elected George Bush, and not only that but many states put in bans against gay/same sex marriage at the time.

This is probably not comforting, but it is true, and it helps me when I feel hopeless: For every revolution there is a counter revolution, for every step forward there is a step back, that things may not be good forever but they will not be bad, either. That we clawed our way to get where we are and we can claw our way forward from here, too. Talk to your queer elders, the ones who have been here before and will be here again and who threw bricks at Stonewall.

When I was a child, if you got AIDS it was a death sentence. Now it isn't. Now you live on.

So I'll quote angels in america: You are fabulous creatures, each and every one. And I bless you: More Life. The Great Work Begins.

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guy fawkes didn't even do anything wrong

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We are canceling the election because moo deng was eaten by a scorpeon

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You tripped and fell into a horse nest.

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I’m watching The Big Bang Theory in its natural setting—playing in the background of a hot spiral room—and I can say within that specific context, it is a very charming show. Like the saltine crackers of media.

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Reading sports headlines while pretending sports doesn't exist suggests a fascinating world of magic and whimsy.