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someone stole my beloved block of ice and left behind a slick, cold puddle as a calling card. count your days soggy bandit
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Reading this chapter during pride month was kind of comical...
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Peak Lord meeting
Yue Qingyuan: How about we switch our current piping system to lead pipes- they're much more malleable and sealed. It'd be a great investment.
Shang Qinghua, who barely passed science but does remember some stuff: Hmmm how about we don't.
Out on a mission
Qi Qingqi: And when did he begin to take a turn for the worse
Tearful wife: around the time his doctor prescribed him medicine for his illness
Shang Qinghua, squinting at the label on the bottle: does that say arsenic
Shang Qinghua, sidling up to Mu Qingfang: hey how attached are you to the use of mercury as a treatment for constipation.
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I think Binghe should keep growing forever. Like a lobster
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Pro tip! If someone ever says they would fuck their own clone, you can make the conversation different by saying you'd also fuck their clone.
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i think people w acid reflux should be able to store it up so they can unleash it all at once in a devastating corrosive spit attack
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to honor the end of pride month, I’ve decided to return him to the abyss 🥰
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FUCK AMERICA HAPPY 100TH BIRTHDAY CEASAR SALAD 🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽❗❗❗
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'respectively' is such a good sentence modifier. it allows you to define lists in parallel and zip them
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The children who “didn’t need no education” in Pink Floyd’s The Wall later sued the band as they also didn’t get no royalties.
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sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me
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Please have this fanart for one of my all time favorite svsss fics!
And if you haven’t already read Cultivate: Slow Life on a Monster-Infested Mountain by @neonghostcat then I cannot recommend it enough. It’s Liushen, Stardew au, and an absolute gift to read. I have reread it so many times, it is incredibly dear to me.
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