12stem5galanidahana

[12stem5galanidahana]

𝑰̲̅𝒅̲̅𝒆̲̅𝒂̲̅𝒍̲̅ 𝑭̲̅𝒂̲̅𝒎̲̅𝒊̲̅𝒍̲̅𝒚̲̅

I'm sure that everyone's ideal type of family is the perfect one. Free from stress and problems, living the happiest and peaceful life. I mean, no one wants to live such miserable life especially with the most precious people in your life, right? I do really want it and I'm longing for it since then. It’s the perfect family that I always dreamed of, but as always, life doesn’t go like what we expected.

The short film just started and I can feel the liquids forming into my eyes, it’s the tears that were forming and starting to fall down. It was entitled “a Father’s Love" that I decided to watch first. I was instantly moved by it because I never experienced that kind of connection to both my father and to my mother.

I was envious of the attention and affection of typical parents that they could give to their child. I was always the independent little girl, trying to endure everything, all by herself. I was used to the heartbreaks of everyone surrounding me since my family, specifically, my father already did it, so perfectly. I can't even hug him or give him a kiss and say, “I love you, Pa" ever since when I was a kid and up until now.

I do have a good family that provides for my needs but I can’t deny the toxicity of my parent’s mindset and parenting. But so much for that, I’m still living a good life and there are still so many things that I should be grateful for than focusing on the imperfections of my parents, and besides, I felt sorry for having an imperfect daughter like me. I’m forever grateful because I know, every mother and father have their own sacrifices just to provide for their children I can't deny the fact that I still love them and will continue to strive harder in life just to make them proud, one day.

[12stem5galanidahana]

Love Language

"Your words mean so much to me."

Every word matters to me, positive or negative, when I have received such words from a person, I tend to think about it over and over again. I give so much value to it that I find it hard to forget.

Every time that I get compliments or even sweet and good words, I tend to be shy but deep inside, it felt like I'm floating, it's the best feeling that I've ever felt. I am into encouraging someone too, it bothers me when someone I know is at his/her downfall, I'd love to spend my time talking to that person just to let him/her know that she's/he's appreciated, no matter what happens.

It is, indeed, my love language is Words of Affirmation. Although I just confirmed it just now, when I see my results with 30%, followed by receiving gifts and quality time with 23%, 17% acts of service, and lastly, 3% for physical touch. It all makes sense now, that even it's just mere words from a person, it could make me so happy that I don't want such materialistic gifts or in other words, I'm easily get contented with words. I think it is one of the reasons why I often hurt myself. Being so easily get contented with words, believing that everyone is sincere and they've meant every word they say. I'm so naive, too soft, fragile, or even sensitive with words. This world is so fake and it takes a lot of God's grace to meet such genuine people and I love to keep and treasure them.

For me, building a good and harmonized relationship with everyone also needs good and meaningful words. It gives a different kind of understanding and connection when you directly say what you really wanted.

[12stem5galanidahana]

a True Love Story

I don't have good love stories to tell, but...

Once upon a time, I've been in love with someone whom I thought, uhm... spend my whole life with? I guess? I'd love to but, some people just don't end up being together because they're not meant for each other, not in the will of God. I've been praying for that every night, to remove the people that are not in His divine will, and yes, he did hear my prayers after all. I may not understand this now, but sooner or later, I'll be thankful for it. This blog entry is quite hard for someone like me. I can't tell a typical, romantic, full of butterflies in the stomach love story at all. I did have the experience but all of it was a not-so-happy ending, maybe? Char.

So much for that, this is my true love story.

I can't tell a good love story, so, let me share my BEST love story of all time.

Here it goes... She was once a girl who is poor at everything. Poor in faith, self-esteem, can't find her worth, anxious, insecure, "messed-up" was the perfect word to describe her. She was lost and can't find her way back, everything was blurry of winning herself back. This happened since she depends on temporary things and people. Believing that it could make her happy, although she was but still empty on the inside. She keeps on finding and searching for it until she bumped into someone, an angel, that will lead her to that perfect one. That could fill her with so much love and genuine happiness. The truth is, He was always there, He was been patiently waiting for her and finding ways to win her heart again. His love was indeed so perfect that he even died on the cross to save her, to save everyone existing in this cruel world. To save us from our sins because He doesn't want us to suffer in the hands of evil, in the middle of the lake of fire. He wants us to be in eternal happiness in a paradise with him. He definitely wants the best for us and he is God.

Again, I am the "she" and the reason why I used that because who knows? We're on the same side? You can be that "she/he" and I'm telling you to stop depending on your happiness to something and to someone who's temporary. Heartbreaks will always question our worth and will ruin our happiness. I can say that I am in the period of waiting, and if God keeps me waiting, then, it will all be worth it and I hope you know that:)

[12stem5galanidahana]

Happiness

What makes me happy? When am I really happy?

She sighed exaggeratedly as she read the question twice, she can't even write a single word. She was out of ideas, Been feeling empty with all the dramas. Too tired to share her thoughts, She already trembled, but then she still fought.

Life is indeed filled with different kinds of battles or challenges and we do feel tired sometimes. But, no matter how life will go against our expectations, there are still so many things to be grateful for. Nevertheless, some things could still make us happy both in a hedonic and eudaimonic way. In my case, I am always delighted in everything that life could offer. I am happy and contented with what I have, even on the simplest thing such as seeing my loved ones' smiling faces gives me a different kind of happiness in my heart. Doing the things that I love most, eating desserts or my cravings, watching my favorite movies/series, traveling in the mountains and so many more things, material or non-material, anything could make me happy. 

When am I happy? Of course, when life flows accordingly and that's not always gonna happen. There will always be tough days, just like now, and that’s fine. It's okay not to be okay, they say. It's because as I go through with our Personal Development Class, with all the lessons that has been taught by Mrs. Tadena. I understand it more now, I learned to accept my flaws, I know my limitations and on how to control them. Indeed an "awareness is wellness".

[12stem5galanidahana]

Left and Right Brain Dominance

We were tasked to do a challenge by Mrs. Tadena and that is to identify our brain dominance just by simply watching the video that was posted in our google classroom. While doing it, I felt amazed in what I discovered after, that I have incomplete left-brain dominance since I got a score of 22.22% based on the formula provided. Which somehow, I can relate to. It was clearly explained the differences or the function between our left and right brain. As a matter of fact, I really do love the Sciences than doing arts. I am more interested in any field of Science but I really can't do well in math. I hate dealing with numbers but no matter how I hate dealing with it specifically Calculus, Physics, Chemistry, although Chemistry is bearable among the two even so I can't guarantee that I can correctly solve any math-related equations. I think that's how the incomplete left-brain dominance affects me, I guess? and it's so sad. I have no other choice but to deal with everything since Math and Science are best friends and inseparable. On the other hand, I can still do arts but ain’t that good enough. It's just to satisfy myself in times of boredom or submitting an art requirement for compliance.

Actually, I'm not so sure about it and I do have doubts in me that I feel like I'm being more dominant in my right brain because there are some characteristics of it that suit me well based on my experiences, or am I just neutral? I really have no idea hahaha. 

[12stem5galanidahana]

Positive or Negative Stress?

Which is which?

Stress is already part of growing up, it's already a natural-occurring phenomenon in each and everyone's life. As I'm being part of the "still growing and learning" club, I mean, we are all part of the club, we've been through a lot already and things should always be under our control or else, it'll be very dangerous for us. These experiences is so essential that it serves as the key that gives me awareness of my limitations or tipping point on the other hand when it comes to stress.

As I've read the question for the first time without watching the recorded session, I can't believe that there's such thing as positive stress since the word "stress" alone speaks for itself that it's negative. It even bothers me just by hearing it. But, it was clearly stated in the recorded session the differences between the two. I can say that I'm in a positive stress when I'm working at 11 o'clock situation, or in other words, working under pressure in a short period of time left, they also called it cramming. I don't know but it works well with me, that's the time when my best ideas came out to offer in every school works that I do in my life. Negative stress always happens to me when I can't do a thing because I have no idea knowing that there's still a lot of time for it. The frustration always drives me crazy then procrastinate in the remaining free hours. I did even cried in my junior high school years since I am very desperate to finish such tasks then now, as I did observed what works with me, there are levels of stress that I could handle based on my experiences as well. I am all aware that it's not healthy but I am always trying and slowly changing this toxic and unhealthy habit of mine. With respond to this approach, I have learned also to be more kind and patient with myself if I want to be more effective as a person.

Takeaway

This recorded session could really save a life to people out there who's struggling mentally. We are all struggling mentally and I am just so grateful and blessed to hear such session from Mrs. Tadena. This have taught me to value my life and we should all value our life even more, to be more grateful waking up every morning. If we are invalidated by everyone around us, at least, you should not invalidate yourself, always acknowledge your problems in the inside and  be with the people that will make you the best version of yourself. We are all worth it.

[12stem5galanidahana]

Good old days

When I was just a little kid, I don't stay at home for good. Instead, I frequently go to my neighbor's house to play with my childhood friends. Every summer, I always went on a vacation to my grandparents' farm at Civoleg, Gingoog City. There was no internet, no television. It was just me, my grandparents, and some fresh cold breeze by the mountains, life was simple yet a happy and peaceful living. A kid who doesn't know yet the reality of life, spending her whole time enjoying life freely without minding her responsibilities. I haven't done those things for a while now and I honestly missed those good old days of mine. Less stress, more quality time, and of course, getting more enough sleep.

How's my current situation as an adolescent? Oh well...

Everything gets heavier nowadays. It seems that turning into an adolescent is like the changes are consistently rising up, and are directly proportional to the stress, struggles, and issues within myself that I'm dealing with right now. It is indeed a period of stress. As I am still growing up, learning, and improving myself at the same time, I am slowly strengthening my identity as well. I've been through a lot already, and I'm sure, every adolescent out there has their own struggles and stories to tell yet no matter how hard life is, no matter how stressful it is, we are still here, fighting and doing our purpose.

To my co-adolescents, hang on! We can do this!

Takeaway

Today’s session has taught me not to reach the standard of the world. Specifically, we should stop reaching and comparing ourselves to the standard of the social media world. Be your own standard instead. It is the uniqueness within us that's full of wonders and truly could standout. Embracing one’s differences is the beginning of genuine happiness and a contented heart. Stop comparing, start enhancing:)

[12stem5galanidahana]

Forgive. Forgiven. Forgiveness.

Forgiveness might be a burden to someone, it requires a lot of courage and love to forgive. Hearing Matthew West’s song Forgiveness is so pleasant to hear but not everyone can do it genuinely. We always do have those difficult people in our lives who needs forgiveness even without asking it from you. What if these difficult people are not just some random people you knew, but the one who are closest to your heart? It's none other than your family, my very own family is the difficult people that I've been dealing with my whole life. 

Presenting to you my top three heartbreakers, my mother, father, and my brother. Teenagers nowadays are typically crying over a guy while then there's me, having a poor mental health, questioning my existence and my worth, dealing with the toxicity around me every day, and crying over how my lovely family messed me up. It's hard when you expected them to be that someone you can lean on when this cruel world is against you, but unfortunately, they are one of those. I was lost and empty, my heart is wrapped up with bitterness, anger, and insecurity.

So, I decided to give up. Giving up all of my burdens to the Man from up above, to our ever-loving God, Jesus Christ. Who was very patient with me, all this time. Who would've thought that it's the best decision I made all my life?

Forgiveness is hard when you do it alone, but with God? It’ll be easy and as light as feather. I have learned to forgive and even love them, as I am also forgiven by my sins. I am not perfect, I am a sinner, unrighteous, and I may be a difficult person to others and my soul needs forgiveness too. How can I not forgive these people when our Almighty God has already forgiven me? Shame on me.

Forgive someone, as you are already forgiven. For me, that's what forgiveness truly means.

Takeaway!

Today’s recorded session has taught me to be healthy mentally, physically, and socially. It's not enough to be healthy to just one of these, the equilibrium plays an important role in every person's life. Don’t be driven by such feelings, always consult yourself, your emotions. I don’t believe in the saying, “Follow your heart” anymore, since our heart is the most deceitful than we could ever imagine. Pray for it instead and surrender. Everything will fall into its proper places.

[12stem5galanidahana]

Do I really know myself?

I've been asking that to myself a lot of times already and I can't even give myself some accurate answers so I honestly did not mind that question, not until it was asked during our Personal Development Class. To ask that question again, one thing is for sure, no one knows who I really am but myself. I am all aware of my good and bad sides and I have always been trying my best not to tolerate that bad sides of me. I know where I am good at, although not that pretty much good enough because it was just my hobbies like dancing, playing badminton, writing poems, and overthinking. The last one is my greatest asset and a joke, it's one of the negative sides of me that I am still going through and prayer always gets me through it. I may know myself more from the people around me base on their observations of my behavior but it was always I, who understands myself more. If I will depend on everyone's opinion about who I really am is not an effective way for me in getting to know more about myself, it will just make me unreal or plastic. But I am not invalidating it, I am just filtering their opinions base on how good and how would it improve me as a person. As an 18-year old girl who's still learning and growing, there are a lot of things to know about me and I'm still in the process of discovering and improving it.