12stem5darlienkhyle

[12stem5darlienkhyle]

What touched me the most is the video entitled “Pamasko”. Presence over presents is more important. Every parents wants to see their children’s excitement and happiness through giving gifts. The video shows that material things will never make you happy even if it is the thing that you want the most, when in fact your hearts wants to spend time and share memories together with your parents. Their presence is the best present.

My parents are very hardworking. I can relate to the boy that was in the video just like him it’s been 10 years since i last saw my mom. I never saw my dad until now that they are separated, i mean we do video calls but in person? I never seen him, hug or anything. I was born when he is already OFW. I grew up with my grandpa and grandma in my fathers side together with my mom until I was in kinder my mom went after my dad. She came back to get us when we are already in grade 2 and left us with her parents our lolo and lola in my mom’s side. And that was the last time I saw her because after that she went back to Israel to work. I’m proud of my mom she’s so hardworking. She was able to support her siblings until they graduated and my brother. She keep on saying she will not come home until our house is finished and her brothers house. She wants to come home everything will be fine. I keep on saying when will you come home we miss you and her reply would be, “kunting tiis bbq makauli nako puhon”. Every time that we will encounter a problem especially when she’s planning to come home she would prefer to stay and work until our problem is solved. Like she wants but she can’t because for her, she wants to come home without worrying about a problem. Just like in the video everything that she gave to us, even if it is brands that we can’t afford, yes they make us happy but it won’t make us happy enough because we know there’s lacking. And it is her presence, being with my mom will be the best present i would love to receive.

My ideal family is the one in which every member have very good understanding with each other. Spends time, going out, create memories and being open to each other. Having a good communication is also important. I’ve been always jealous to my boyfriends family bonding. Their family bonding is what i want to have and my ideal family. Their bond to each other is just like friends. Even though his parents siblings already have a family they always gather and celebrate and bond together with his lola. The best family bonding. We’re almost the same but what’s lacking is my mom. Because every gathering they will always say Janet is the key for them to be complete, idunno why but my mom is the one that supports them when they are still studying and the one who supports my lolo and lola. My mom will be always the best. And that’s my ideal family, having a family bond that is just like a friends, that understands each other, helps each other, and now that our grandparents are still here i want to make a lot of memories together with my big family.

[12stem5darlienkhyle]

PAUSE FOR A THOUGHT

My love language is quality time the result was 33% when I take the teen quiz. Well i am the type of person that would prefer spending time with my love ones. Their attention and time makes me feel loved and also makes me feel that I’m special and appreciated. Especially to those who I value the most, I can manage not using my phone the whole day when spending my time with my special someone. Quality time is my way of expressing my love. I would prefer spending time with them than receiving gifts, i mean all of us would love to receive gifts but spending time and making memories with your special someone is the best for me.

[12stem5darlienkhyle]

PAUSE FOR A THOUGHT

To my favorite person, I have a lot to tell you. So here I am writing this even though there is no chance that you’ll read this and I would probably not going to write some of it. All I want to say is thank you.

I won’t forget the first time that I saw you, if I’m not mistaken that was 3 or 2 years ago. It was lunch break you were not from our school and your wearing white shirt and shorts, i was going out to buy my lunch and you’re entering our school campus. The first time I laid my eyes on you I already find you cute. I was so curious that time if what school are you because I don’t often see you in our campus. Time passed by you waved on messenger that was August 16, 2019, i’m not the type of person that will reply to strangers. I got curious and I stalked your account, I was so shocked that the guy that I find cute in grade 10 days chatted me. That’s where it started up until you courted me and we became in relationship September 17, 2019 up until now. Our relationship is not perfect, we fought a lot, we argue a lot, we’re on and off, a lot of things happened. But I was so thankful because despite of my attitude that is bad and my mouth that won’t stop talking nonsense and sometimes is below the belt, you still chose to stay. They say I should not date you because you’re a bad boy known as rascal or naughty. I have friends that are stopping me. But they don’t know that you still have a soft side which I love the most, you know how to respect girls and you love your mom. They see you as a tough person you don’t want people to see you cry but then you let me see you cry. I am so thankful that I met you, i am also thankful that you stayed specially when I’m at my lowest, thank you for choosing me everyday, for understanding, and for loving me.

I’ve learned a lot in our relationship. I’ve realized a lot and thanks to you. You’re helping me to change my bad habits. I don’t really know how to express this but thank you. I just want to hug you so tight. I am happy that the first guy that I introduced to my family is still with me.

[12stem5darlienkhyle]

PAUSE FOR A THOUGHT

What makes me happy is seeing or making my loved ones happy. As for me I put others first rather than myself, I know it’s not good for you but I don’t know how to put myself first. Making other people happy by doing what they want me to do is one of the reason that makes me happy. I’d rather hurt myself for them to be happy. And seeing them happy makes me happy also. It’s like it’s okay for me that they will control my life as long as they are happy. You can call me stupid or what for that reason but that is the truth. And also waking up everyday is also a one reason that makes me happy. Doing what I want to do also makes me happy but this one is very rare for me.

My take away for today is it’s okay not to be okay. Maybe you are sad but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy. Everyone is allowed to be happy and for you to be happy is to find where are you comfortable with and doing what you love. Always remember there’s always a rainbow after the rain.

[12stem5darlienkhyle]

Today, I watched a video and I discovered through the activity that the left side of my brain is dominant. According to the video I watched people who has the left side dominant are the people who are good at tasks where logic or critical and analytical thinking is needed, amazing at learning languages and speaking, good at numbers, person who mostly behaves logically, easily build algorithms or logical arguments basing on facts and dates and no can beat you at paying attention to details you see them first and with their help build the whole picture.

I was having fun and also finds it funny knowing the some of the skills of left dominant has is mostly opposite to me. Well the only thing that got me right is the part where it said that people that has left dominant easily build algorithms or logical argument basing on facts and dates which also I observed to myself and paying attention to details that you see them first is also I can relate to. Well I’ve learned a lot today and it was fun learning more about myself.

[12stem5darlienkhyle]

POST FOR A THOUGHT

Every individual experiences stress, well as for me stress is maybe part of our daily life. I don’t know if there are people who don’t experience stress but I can say that all of us experiences stress. There is a positive stress and also a negative stress. As for the positive stress it allows us to be motivated and productive. An example of situation that I consider as a positive stress is when I did my modeling, while I’m still at the backstage I felt nervous because I’m afraid that maybe I’ll make mistakes but I’m also motivated to do good and to leave people amazed on how I walk. While on the other hand the negative stress results poor health and breakdown, example of the situation that I consider as a negative stress is when I’m so tired that I question myself “why am I even here? Breathing?” Like every night literally every night I cry without knowing the reason. I don’t know the reason why am I crying all I know is I’m tired, I want to stress, I want to feel free, feel loved, and I want to feel that I am worth it. Am I aware of my tipping point when it comes to stress? Well my answer is I don’t know.

My take away for this lesson is we should know how to handle situations in order for us not to regret. We should share our problems or asks for advice but then again advice is useless if you, yourself won’t take the advice. We should take advice and learn to accept in this way we will know what should we do or the best thing to do.

[12stem5darlienkhyle]

PAUSE FOR A THOUGHT

In my childhood days I can say that I did a lot of things that I’m not doing anymore right now. Having these memories is such a blessing because a lot of children nowadays are more into gadgets. I can say I am blessed that I’ve experienced those things not that I’m comparing myself to the children right now but I am thankful to experience those as part of my childhood. The thing that I did before is I am more socialize comparing now that I don’t even want to get out of my room. They say as we grow older our perspective in life also changes and yes that’s true for me because before I want to hangout with my friends or stroll, now that I’m at the legal age I’ve changed a lot I don’t come along with my friends, if they want to hangout I make excuses because I feel tired to get out. I want to just stay in our house and relax. I am more at peace in silence. Well as you can see I am no more a socialize person today and the opposite of it is my old me.

I would describe my adolescence as a mess, not totally a mess. Well I overthink things and my plans keep on changing. It is stressful but I can still handle it and enjoy if only I will look on the bright side. Encountering more challenges that gives me lesson and helps me to decide properly.

Today, I’ve learned that it is okay to lose people around you, people that is close to you. Be afraid of losing yourself. Don’t let yourself do things that you don’t want to, just to fit in with their standards. Do what you wanna do, do not mind what people are saying about you. They don’t know you, it’s you who know yourself. Don’t let people destroy yourself, be confident and don’t mind the judgement. In life we should start to accept people for who they are, we don’t need to destroy one another in order for us to be at the top. Don’t compare your experiences to others, we went through different hardships, different stages of problems, and lastly we have different journeys in life. Be who you want to be and do the things that you’re comfortable the most. Keep your chin up and be confident.

[12stem5darlienkhyle]

PAUSE FOR A THOUGHT

Every person has a different personalities. We have different perspectives in life that often causes into arguments. Each and everyone of us is unique. In our daily lives, we met a lot of people that has a different characters.

I have met some people that are difficult to understand. There are people that are easy to read and approachable. There are also people that we wish we can help them to change for the better version of theirselves. I have this frienf that is difficult to deal with sometimes and easy to deal with sometimes. It is so hard for me to the point that I’m controlling myself not to get angry. We can’t judge easily a person because we don’t know his/her story. Some people may have gone through difficulties that makes their self-esteem become so low, and I am one of those. We become more shy and afraid to people, we tend to hide in order to protect ourselves, we also forget to consider other emotions in the situation that we find hard to handle that we choose to fightback and went too far. Sometimes we are becoming so invested with our own emotions that we do things or make decisions that we will surely regret right after.

From the song entitled Forgiveness by Metthew West it says that forgiveness can take all away your anger, hatred and bitterness. Forgiveness is for our own growth and happiness. Forgiveness is letting go the painful past and frees us to live in the present. Forgiving someone is one of the way to move on and start a new beginning.

In life we need to always remember that we should put our self first. Give what yourself deserve, because no one can help us to be the better version of us but ourselves.

[12stem5darlienkhyle]

PAUSE FOR A THOUGHT

Do I know myself? Do i really know myself? I ask this questions sometimes to myself and my answer is always no. Sometimes I know myself sometimes not. Most importantly what I hate the most is I’m not confident, which I tend to turn down a lot of offer. This simply because I’m insecure. My body scream insecurities. A lot of people say I should try this and that, a lot of offers or opportunities that I’ve wasted just because I’m not confident and I’m insecure. I want to try something new but there’s something that’s holding me. Maybe I’m afraid to be judged? Well maybe that is one of the reason why, my family judge me always. I’m afraid to join pageants because I can’t feel their support, in my modeling while we are still having our training they don’t even give an allowance they just give me money good for the ride. Even this one special person keeps on giving me negative thoughts. There are times that I was crying all night until 3 am in my room, because of my personality. I made people cry, hate and leave me when I’m angry bceuase I can’t control myself. In my mind is I was hurt and I need revenge. I discovered this kind of behavior just recently, specially when I’m angry, insecure and full of hatred. Me myself discovered it or other people also observed and share it to me. They would also talk to me that I should try to calm down next time if I’m angry. They do gave me some advices on what should I do. Knowing this is making me nervous sometimes, because when I’m angry I can’t control myself or my mouth that I say some words that are below the belt. Words that can hurt people.

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