11thand12thmonthoftheyear

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

never thought that i had a pic like this. just found it and a bit cutie lol but to be honest, we're kind of sneaky that time. 🤭

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

this was written last year,,,

mid-Nov, i guess, and i just wanna put it here for memories since ill come to a point where i’ll be deleting my dummy account, so, yes... 

i hope your pretentions will turn into real and genuine one. i mean, just leave her right away if you don't have have plans giving back the genuine love she invested in you bc if not, you just ruined someone again, i know i also ruined you but dili tungod kay nasakitan ka buhaton sad nimo sa uban, remember you have cousins na babae and a sister, karma won't tell its comeback. leave her nalang and focus on yourself, work on yourself, work on your healing and peace. all i want right now is your happiness. do everything for her, everything, katong mga butang nga akong gina-long nga wala nimo nabuhat, fill all the void if that means to be happy for you ug sa iya, i know she will do the drill, "the give and take".  i'll be moving on nasad, walay lain gatuyok2 sakong huna2 kundi ang "sayang", sayang ang tanan, sayang ka, sayang ta. but the more we come close to each other, the more we sink, the more we’re drowning. unta paboran nata sa panahon sunod, ug pwede pa. i am really sorry for hurting you, dat. iloveyou so much. please don't do the things nga ginabuhat nato gud like the cheeks-to-cheeks, handkissing, the nicknames, the "badat", the iloveyou pas iloveyou, basta katong mga butang nga nabuhat nato nga kita ra duha nag explore because those will always remain as my treasures, im crying again haha, mao nalang nagapalipay nako usahay ug mingawon ko nimo, those things and all the memories are taking me back on how good we were before but also, those are my reality check, they keep reminding me na memories nalang jud to taman. bahalag pang buhaton to ninyong mga butang nga wala nato nabuhat. sorry bc i lied, wala nako gidelete atong convos, i want to keep them as well. amping kanunay, dat, labi na sa pagbyahe-byahe nimo. ciao.

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

11th without 12th.

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

an open letter to you;

i cannot really say na happy na kaayo ka, though, somehow nalipay na sab ka and good for you. its been near 5 months naman diay since nangayo kog chance and near 5 months still striving to keep myself on track. i never really regretted meeting you, never in my entire life. you used to be my home and the love of my life. it is just ive said those things last time bc of your effect on me. as i have learned things on my own about your deal rn, it slowly eats me up. the unending questions abt my worth, the unending cries in the middle of the night..  perhaps, this will be my farewell to this acc of ours. balik na baya sa Iya ha, im still praying for you, for your healing. di ko gusto ba nga naa koy mga hinigugma nga wala sa Iyang tiilan sa ikaduha Niyang pagbalik. dili pa ulahi ang tanan, unta kabalo ka ana (if you have the chance, invite her nga magsimba, be a channel to her spiritual life). amping mo nila ate ishi ug dodong, miss na nako sila, be a responsible kuya as always, and masinubtanon nga anak sa iyang mama, one thing i am proud of. hapit na bday nimo, thank you for the 2 years celebrating your natal day with me, dili naka maginusara magcelebrate this coming december. advance happiest birthday! :)) i am so sorry sa tanan and thank you. thank you, my bayanyan. stay safe always, i’d rather see you with someone else than not seeing you anymore, ikamatay sab nako na (seriously talking here, hunahunaa sab nga naa pa kay mga manghod ug mama nga masubo ug magbinoang kas imong kinabuhi)  iloveyou with the love of the Lord, see you around! ciao.

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

if you happened to open this (our) account, please know that i have already forgiven you, long ago, palangga. and im still wishing you all the happiness in the world that you deserve despite its cruelness towards you. it still hurts and it hurts more now knowing that you have already someone you can count on. tbh, i’m still hoping, i am still wishing every night that i will wake up from this nightmare, i am still begging the heavenly bodies to be on my favor, just once. sakit pirmi sa dughan kay dili mawala-wala akong paghigugma sa imo. it’s so hard to swallow the truth, the changes, everything; but don’t worry, don’t feel bad for me, please. i am still here for you. know that i’m striving to be better, for myself, and for future endeavors. see you soon, love.                                                                                                                                                                                    -kaykay

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

March 31st

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

I put you so much pain to the point of slowly losing you. Perhaps, I was too selfish or I lacked at things that could possibly make you stay longer, or I love you  in a way that made you disappointed and hurt. This is so exhausting. I wish I could still hold you, but you are now far, out of my reach. I always think that maybe I am not really worth the risks at all. I know you’ve reached your point and you are tired of dealing the “us” and I understand that bc to be honest I don’t buy your reasons why you don’t love me anymore.  This is my fault and it breaks me more. I hope if I will recover from all of these pain and exhaustions, I wish I will be happy of being happy because I am afraid that I will miss you more if I am fully happy since you’re not there anymore. I will miss you more because I will reach our goals in life that we once planned without you, I will miss you more because I will be doing crazy things to the fullest that we once wished to try and without the presence of you. Those will make me miss you even more. :((

I am so sorry, dat. :((

Just let me love you and chase you until this will fade, don’t worry. 

i miss you so much and iloveyou pas iloveyou, palangga nako. <3

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

a connection that has been ended; 

memories will no longer be created;

however, this love will always caress my heart until the end. :))

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

More pokemon from my twitter :)

[twitter] [ANLW Instagram] [instagram] [threadless] [gumroad] [patreon]

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

I want deeper connections with the people around me. I need to reach out more. Because not everyone leaves. Sometimes if you reach out, the person you’re trying to reach will be right there waiting.

Susane Colasanti (via quotemadness)

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

I hope you always find a reason to smile.

Unknown (via quotemadness)

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

I have buried you in every place I’ve been. You keep ending up in my shaking hands.

Bon Iver (via quotemadness)

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

Like lightning in the night, trust is born, complicity arises … And the cosmos echoes our flying.

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

Rosa ‘Borussia’

Photography by Xuebing Du

Instagram: xuebing.du

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

2nd year xoxo

[11thand12thmonthoftheyear]

Why was the lamp not heavy?

Because it’s light.