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i paint. and because someone told me that another student wanted to get his portrait done i approached this man who i have barely exchanged two sentences before and said "i heard you want to get painted. i'll do it for 500"

and it took as two very confusing and exparating minutes of haggling about the price and outlining the logistics of said painting during which i said sentences like "you can be naked if you want but that would be extra" and "what do you mean why would you pay me. i do all the work?" while he got increasingly more flushed until i put my foot down and said "well if you want to be painted baroque style that's gonna cost some money" and he said "oh my god PAINTED. that makes a lot more sense."

turns out he misheard me and thought a stranger. a random person. came up to him in the middle of the lecture hall in front of god and everyone and loudly and confidently said "i heard you want get pegged." and then got mad at his refusal to pay half a grand for it. can you fucking imagine

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who else up raising their open filthy palms like tiny daggers up to heaven

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an underrated kink is corruption. i want to make you worse. i love to coax it all out of you and make you admit how hot you really think it is. don’t worry, no one’s going to find out. no one’s going to judge you. it’s okay, you don’t have to fight it anymore. just let it get to you. you need this.

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OOF 

(original text from article by devon price)

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Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting

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an industrial and colorful warehouse conversion in london

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Happy Friday 🦀

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parents got a new cat they named lord montague and this morning i heard my dad in the other room say "i would have to advise against that decision, my lord" followed by a crashing sound

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I just imagined a creature that would scare you soooo bad dude

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not all of it is bad i think….…. we are going to be okay i think.

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theres a popular brand in canada called no name brand and it manufactures everything you can imagine in a grocery store and it kind of makes me feel like im in a world no one bothered to do much world building for

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roommate texted this to me……..

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i love seeing cardinals and bluejays together i’m always like “hehe.. evil siblings”

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I need everyone to know that the ship Götheborg, the world's largest ocean-going wooden sailing ship, answered a distress call the other day.

Imagine waiting for the coast guard or whatever to show up and instead a replica of 18th century merchant ship pulls up and tows you to the coast.