00002968

[00002968]

SJY. ᝰ is writing — "I dare you to kiss me and keep it in your pants...hah! Get off me loser—"

vol 9 . — Y/n swears no one compares to Park Sunghoon. The campus heartthrob, department topper, and possibly her guardian angel. Her world spins on his orbit.

Jake swears he can’t stand Y/n. She’s awkward, invisible, always leaving curly hair in his textbooks. He'd rather share a class with Tora, his flawless senior crush.

Amongst the push and pull of unsaid words and obviously said insults they find their life getting tangled in bizarre way.

𖧧 ָ࣪ 𖧵ֹֺֽ໋໋݊ rom-com, angst, coming of age, enemies to lovers, college chaos, one-sided crushes, accidental friendship

note: there's no comedy.

Y/n didn’t ask to fall in love with Park Sunghoon.

He just… kind of glowed. Even under those hideous fluorescent hallway lights, he looked like he walked out of a K-drama with pink aura, flower petals falling on him and was about to change someone's life with a smirk and a backhug. It was criminal, honestly.

She always walked three steps behind him on campus — not literally, but emotionally. Her eyes trailed him like a soft background music she couldn’t turn off. Hands busy to press down the disobedient folds of her unironed clothes, running fingers through her unruly coiled brown hair, trying to pull them to a more simpler straight form, biting her chapped lips and hoping if he ever turns around he would look at her big brown eyes and not the pre pubescent acne scars all over her cheeks.

He laughs and she looks up. He fixes his sleeves and she adjusts her breath. He sneezes once in the cafeteria and she, a devout atheist, thanks God.

Every day, Sunghoon nodded at her when she passed him by the vending machine. She lived for those nods.

“Can you stop staring at him like you’re writing Wattpad chapters in your head?” a voice muttered from her left. She didn’t even flinch it was always him. Jake Sim. The resident campus know it all, emotional cactus, and king of side eyes.

He was currently glaring at her like he’d just set his thesis on fire. Meh whatever.

“I wasn’t staring,” she whispered, straightening in her seat. “I was looking through him. Big difference.”

Jake scoffed. “You were drooling.”

She clutched your notebook, cheeks warm. “That’s just how I breathe.”

He muttered something under his breath, something with the words “hopeless” and “loser” in it. Jake sat diagonally behind her in class, but he made his presence very known. Every time she tripped on a chair or dropped her pen, she could feel his judgy laser beam eyes burning through her skull.

She was pretty sure he hated her. He was the only person who borrowed books from the library before they were assigned. He always had a pen in his hand, three tucked behind his ear, and he once asked the professor to recheck a paper because he got a 97.

Jake Sim was not normal.

But even he wasn't immune.

Because every time Tora walked into the lecture hall, second year, ethereal, angel of a kind. Jake turned into static.

She noticed it the first time Tora waved at someone across the room. Jake, who had been scribbling equations like his life depended on it, dropped his pen and didn’t even pick it up for a full five seconds.

Then, he turned crimson.

Y/n was stunned. Jake Sim, the emotionally unavailable nerd with the personality of a sock... blushed...?!

One day she couldn't keep quiet anymore and asked, “Do you like her or are you just clinically allergic to good looking people?”

Jake gave her a 'are you serious?' Look at her while adjusting his glasses. “I’d rather dissect my own brain with a spoon than explain anything to you.”

Classic.

Still, he had this very specific habit of fixing his hair every time Tora entered the room, so like… okay, sir. You’re not subtle either.

The first time Jake noticed y/n, she was untangling her headphones like it was a life or death situation. It was during one of those 9 AM lectures, where half of the class still smelled like sleep and the other half faked alertness with caffeine and borrowed notes. Jake, of course, sat at his usual spot, second row from the front, near the window, precisely five feet away from the only functioning plug point in the room. He had his laptop open, his glasses fogged from the humidity outside, and a new pimple forming under his jaw. Life was great.

And then there was her.

In the back row, left side. Hair like curly alphabet noodles spilling out of a careless ponytail, wearing a too big hoodie with a fraying cuff she kept picking at. Her face was mostly hidden behind books and the hood she tried to disappear into. Most people wouldn’t notice her.

He did.

Not because he wanted to. He just kept finding her hair.

There was a strand on his desk last week. Another stuck in the Velcro of his pencil pouch. One had somehow landed on his mechanical keyboard. He had theories. Maybe she shed like a cat. Maybe the wind liked her hair more than it liked gravity. Or maybe, just maybe, the universe was playing a cosmic joke on him.

He noticed, to her , Park Sunghoon was a walking sonnet. A poem in a pressed white shirt and neat handwriting.

She was, quite tragically in a coma.

Jake saw all this. The stolen glances. The quick head turns. The pathetic heart eyes she made at Sunghoon when she thought no one was watching. He wasn’t judging her. Okay — maybe a little. She just seemed so... awkward. Always tripping on her own shoes or spilling tea on her sleeves. And then sitting in silence like a background character who wasn’t sure if she had lines.

Jake didn’t dislike her. But he didn’t particularly like her either.

His attention was currently reserved for one person and one person only, Tora Choi.

Tora, the senior with the swanlike grace and poetic presence. She was always seen in floral tops, nude lipstick and blush blindness suited her. She read in the cafeteria. Voluntarily. She walked like the hallway belonged to her. Her voice had that musical lull of someone who probably spoke French at some point in her life.

Jake, who could barely remember to apply sunscreen, was hopelessly smitten. And every time Tora passed by their class, Jake transformed into a crash dummy blinking too much, straightening his hoodie, then immediately regretting straightening his hoodie. He was a wreck. A nerdy, overthinking, emotionally constipated wreck. One time, Tora had smiled in his direction. Jake had to go drink two bottles of cold water and recalibrate his breathing patterns.

So no, Jake did not have time for some hoodie-wearing backbencher who got nervous around her own shadow. And yet, there she was again, trying to open her juice box without spilling it across her notebook. He rolled his eyes so hard, he almost pulled a muscle.

Jake turned his gaze downward. He needed to stop doing this. Acting like a fool every time Tora acknowledged his existence. They’d known each other for years. She lived two houses down. They shared the same school bus in middle school. She once gave him cookies after a bad test. And yet, here he was, fully prepared to faint like a 19th century heroine at the sound of her voice.

“Alright,” Professor Lim said, finally entering the room with his usual stack of unreasonably annotated papers. “Let’s begin.”

Class moved slowly. Something about Plato and false narratives and truth within fiction. Y/N scribbled furiously, her wrist moving like a motor. Jake side eyed her again. It was like watching someone take notes for the entire student body. And it was annoying how she didn’t even blink when the professor cold called her.

“Y/n,” the senior professor drawled, pushing his glasses up. “You look like you’re writing a thesis on this. Tell me, what did Plato mean by the allegory of the cave?”

She froze. The room did not.

She opened her mouth. Closed it. Then stuttered out, “Um, it’s—it’s about like, uh, shadows? And reality not being real?”

Someone snorted in the back. Jake didn’t even need to turn to know it was probably the Huening twins. They always laughed the loudest at things that weren’t funny. Professor Lim smiled. Not kindly.

“How poetic. Truly. Shadows and reality and—what, dreams? Fascinating. For someone who apparently studies fourteen hours a day, I was expecting an actual answer.”

That got a laugh. A ripple across the classroom.

Jake winced.

Y/n ducked her head. Her curls framed her face, hiding the worst of the blow, but her ears were red. Crimson, actually. “Sit down,” the professor said, dismissively. “Sunghoon?”

Park Sunghoon stood up and delivered an articulate, practically textbook-perfect explanation. Of course he did. People clapped, even though no one was supposed to clap in this class. She did not lift her head.

Jake looked away, annoyed.

People like her were always weird about things. Cry in the bathroom, write poems in margins. Talk to pigeons. I bet anything she would write some cringe journal entry about this later with lines like “I bloomed like a wound in a world that hated weeds.”

God.

The period ended, and everyone began to shuffle out. Jake packed his things slowly, even as the class emptied. A part of him expected her to run, awkward girls always ran. But she didn’t. Y/n stayed glued to the chair, head ducked, fingers twitching at the hem of her sleeves. He watched her from the corner of his eye. She looked like a kicked dog.

A pathetic part of him wanted to feel something. Empathy maybe. Guilt. Even annoyance. But the only thing he felt was second hand embarrassment.

It made him want to walk faster just in case someone thought he might talk to her.

So he left.

Y/n looked at her shoes.

She always did. The world was easier to handle when it was reduced to soles and laces. Faces were harder. They held too many judgments, too many half-hidden sneers and raised brows. She didn’t stop walking until she reached the back staircase, the one nobody used much. It always smelled faintly of wet cement and the occasional cigarette. Here, she let her body fold against the wall, backpack slipping off her shoulder. It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.

It wouldn’t be the last.

But that didn’t make it hurt less.

Y/n didn’t move from the back staircase for a while. The quiet was comfortable here, the hum of distant footsteps, the faint scent of damp concrete, the occasional echo from the hallway above. She could almost convince herself the rest of the world didn’t exist.

Almost.

When she finally pushed herself up and started toward the courtyard, voices drifted to her before she saw anyone. Laughter, high and light, like sunlight through a glass of water. She turned the corner and there they were. Tora stood in the middle of a loose circle of classmates, her shoulders slightly hunched in that modest way that somehow made her seem even softer. The light caught on her hair, turning it into strands of gold, and her lips shone with a faint, warm pink gloss. The color looked effortless, as if it had been made for her, the way flowers are made for spring.

Tora laughed at something one of the boys said, tilting her head, her voice carrying like a breeze.

She slowed her steps without meaning to. For a few moments, the noise around her faded, and she let herself slip into the kind of daydream she usually kept for late at night. If she had Tora’s gloss...that exact shade of dreamy pink would it make any difference? Would people look at her differently? Would they stop seeing her as the awkward, clumsy thing that tripped over her own sentences? She pressed her lips together lightly, then touched them with the tips of her fingers, as if testing the thought.

It was silly. Lip gloss couldn’t change bone structure or erase the history of every humiliation she’d collected. But still…

The sound of Tora’s laugh broke her trance, and she turned quickly, heading in the opposite direction before anyone could notice her lingering.

Exams crept closer like a slow moving storm, and with them came the strange transformation of the library. It became the campus’ unofficial capital. Every table claimed, books, matcha drinks , colorful highlighters scattered, every chair dragged into formation, the air heavy with the scent of paper and stress. Jake spent most of his days here now, his textbooks spread out like battle plans. He wasn’t the kind of student to normally invite company, but exam season brought a shift. People came to him for notes, for summaries, for diagrams, for the condensed wisdom of someone who actually paid attention in lectures. It stroked something in him, that small spark of pride. He liked the way they leaned over his notes, the way they asked questions in hushed voices, the way they looked at him like he was the difference between passing and failing.

He didn’t like, however, that Y/n was here too.

Every day, without fail, she sat at the table directly across from him.

It wasn’t like she was copying him or trying to talk. She never even looked up. But the fact that she stayed there, head bent over her books like she had any hope of understanding them, grated at him in some small, inexplicable way.

Jake figured that if anyone in this building needed notes, it would be her. She seemed like the type of student who’d take one look at an exam paper and forget everything she’d studied. And yet, she never asked. Not once.

It was almost offensive.

Did she think she didn’t need his help? Or was she just too awkward to ask? Either way, it didn’t make her look smarter. In Jake’s mind, it made her even more clueless than he’d thought.

By late afternoon, the library began to empty. People packed up their things in waves, leaving behind a faint, dusty silence. By five o’clock, only a handful of students remained. Jake was deep in his notes when he realized it had gotten too quiet. He glanced up and immediately paused. Y/n had slumped forward, her cheek resting against the crook of her arm, the edges of her notebook pressed beneath her. Her mouth hung slightly open, a tiny smudge of drool glistening in the corner.

Jake’s lips twitched before he could stop himself. A quiet snicker slipped out.

He leaned back in his chair, studying her. In sleep, the tension she carried like armor had fallen away. The curls that had been tied back this morning were now coming undone, framing her face in messy spirals. The late afternoon sun streamed through the tall windows, casting a golden light across her skin. It softened her, made her glow in a way he hadn’t noticed before. His eyes lingered on her cheeks, rounder than he’d realized, dusted faintly pink. For some absurd reason, he felt the urge to pinch them. He stopped fidgeting is pencil and caught off guard by the thought.

Before he could decide whether to act on it, she stirred. Maybe it was the weight of his stare or the faint scrape of his chair, but her eyelids fluttered open.

Her eyes met his.

Jake froze.

Up close, they weren’t the dull brown he’d lazily assumed from across the table. They were deep, warm, flecked with something lighter a kind of amber that caught the sunlight like liquid. For a split second, the air between them shifted, like someone had pulled a string taut.

Her expression flickered from confusion to alarm. She sat up abruptly, wiping at her mouth with the back of her sleeve. “I—sorry,” she said, voice low, as if she’d done something wrong by existing in his line of sight.

Before Jake could think of anything to say, she was already stuffing her notes into her bag. Her movements were quick, jerky, like she couldn’t get away fast enough.

He watched her walk out, the library door swinging shut behind her.

For a moment, he just sat there, staring at the spot she’d left empty. Then he realized his heartbeat was the only thing he could hear now.

Y/n rarely went to the mall.

The polished floors, air-conditioned coolness, and distant hum of chatter felt oddly comforting. But malls were for people who knew what they were doing, who walked with purpose, who knew which store sold the best lip gloss or where to find the perfect shade of blush. And she was definitely not one of those people. Still, here she was, standing in front of the largest display of lip products she’d ever seen in her life. Rows upon rows of tubes glistened under the warm studio lights pinks, reds, browns, corals, sheens, mattes, shimmers. Each one looked like it had been made for someone else, someone who knew how to choose.

Her fingers hovered over a pale peach shade before she quickly withdrew them. She didn’t even know what “undertones” meant. It wasn’t like she hated makeup, or was too lazy to try, she just…. never had anyone to guide her. Tutorials online always felt like they were in another language.

She was so caught up in the silent war between her curiosity and insecurity that she didn’t notice the tall figure walking toward her until she bumped into him.

“Oh— sorry—” she mumbled, stepping back.

“Y/n?”

Her head snapped up. Park Sunghoon stood there, holding a small gift bag. His sharp features softened into a polite smile, and just like that, her brain promptly stopped working. “S–Sunghoon… hi,” she stammered, her voice a pitch too high.

Before she could recover, another voice cut in. “Oh, it’s you.”

Jang Wonyoung appeared from behind him, glossy hair cascading over her shoulders like she’d stepped straight out of a commercial. She wasn’t smiling exactly, her lips were curved, but it was the kind of sweetness that stung.

“What’s a nerd like you doing here?” Wonyoung’s tone was light, teasing, but the edge was sharp enough to draw blood. “Finally thinking about a glow-up?”

Y/n felt her face burn. She gave a small, awkward laugh, trying to shrink into herself. But then… an idea.

Maybe this was her chance “Um… actually, I was looking for a lip gloss,” she admitted, fidgeting with the strap of her bag. “Do you think… you could help me pick one?”

Wonyoung blinked, clearly not expecting her to ask. Her gaze slid briefly to Sunghoon, who was distracted, scanning a rack of accessories nearby. With a faint shrug, she pointed lazily toward a tube on the far end of the shelf , a bright, almost blinding shade of fuchsia.

“This one,” she said absently, already turning away.

Y/n didn’t know much about makeup, but she knew that shade probably wasn’t for her. Still, the idea that Wonyoung, tall, radiant, effortlessly beautiful Wonyoung had chosen it made her chest swell with something close to pride. “I’ll take it,” she murmured, clutching the tube like it was a secret key to some prettier, better version of herself.

Sunghoon turned back then, a small box now in his hand. “Birthday gift for my sister,” he explained casually to Y/n, his voice warm. It made her throat tighten.

“that’s so nice,” she replied, and she meant it. But Wonyoung was already stepping forward, looping her arm through his. “We should get going,” she announced, her tone lighter now. “Don’t want to be late.”

Late for what? Y/n wondered. A date? The thought made her stomach twist, even though she knew Sunghoon was probably just being polite. Before she could say anything else, Wonyoung gave her one last honeyed smile the kind that didn’t reach her eyes and steered Sunghoon away.

She stood there for a moment, staring at the empty space they’d left behind. Then, with the kind of fragile happiness that blooms from the smallest scraps, she walked to the counter and bought the gloss Wonyoung had chosen.

She imagined herself wearing it tomorrow, maybe catching Sunghoon’s attention in the hallway. Maybe he’d notice. Maybe he’d smile. Clutching the tiny shopping bag like it held something far more precious than a tube of lip gloss, she made her way home, her heart just a little lighter than when she’d left.

Jake lay sprawled across his bed, one arm flung over his eyes, the other holding his phone loosely. The room was quiet except for the low hum of the AC, but his mind wouldn’t shut up.

It was her again. Stupid curls, boring acne scared chubby cheeks. Dumb Y/n.

Those big brown eyes of hers, wide, unguarded, that seemed to hold onto everything and nothing at once had been stuck in his head ever since that afternoon in the library. And it wasn’t the first time she was terrorising his consciousness.

He remembered the first time he’d noticed her, though he would never admit it to anyone. It was months ago, when he’d opened his physics textbook and found a few stray strands of curly hair tangled between the pages. She had been sitting at the desk before him that day, and somehow, that tiny trace of her had followed him home. He’d tossed the hair away, but the image stuck.

Then there were the stupid games his classmates played. Heeseung and Jay once teased each other over a lost bet, saying the punishment would be kissing Y/n. The way they laughed, loud, careless had made something in Jake twist uncomfortably, though he’d masked it with a smirk. He never knew why he was always there when she was getting clowned on. Always in the background, watching like a default backgroundcharacter. Like the universe was making sure he saw it every time.

Y/n was… ridiculous. Clumsy, socially awkward, stuck in her head more than the real world. Stupid. Dumb. Weird. He told himself that a lot, like a shield. Because why would she have a crush on someone like Park Sunghoon?

Jake knew for a fact Sunghoon didn’t care about her. The guy barely looked at her in the hallways. And yet, every time Jake caught Y/n gazing at Sunghoon with that soft, almost stupid smile that said she was somewhere far away in her head, something hot and ugly flared in his chest. It made him want to shake her and yell, No one cares. He doesn’t care. Stop looking at him like that.

But that would mean admitting he cared.

And somewhere, deep under all the annoyance, he understood her. Because Jake was a nobody too. He only admitted it when he was alone, but it was the truth. He wasn’t the guy girls like Tora noticed. She was too far out of his reach, and he knew it. That’s why he’d always turn around before entering the same room as her, easier to avoid the humiliation than face it.

So maybe that’s why Y/n bothered him so much. There was something reckless in the way she still dared to dream about someone like Sunghoon. Something he couldn’t do. And every time he saw her try even silently, even just with her eyes — it reminded him of how much of a coward he was.

His fragile ego hated that. So he did what he was best at, he cursed her in his head, turned her into a joke. It made him feel like he was the one in control.

Except now, lying in the dim glow of his bedroom, he wasn’t so sure he had control over anything.

Because why the hell was he thinking about her again? Why was it her face replaying in his mind and not Tora’s?

A thought crept in, uninvited, unsteady. Do I… like her?

Jake sat up abruptly, as if that would make the thought fall out of his head. He grabbed the AC remote and dropped the temperature from twenty four to sixteen, the cold air hitting him sharp and fast. Still, his skin felt warm. Too warm. He reached for his phone, fingers tapping before he could think about it

' can you like 2 girls at once '

The search results were instant, a flood of half baked answers and random forum threads. Some were serious long paragraphs about “emotional compatibility” and “differentiating infatuation from genuine affection.” Others were… not.

One comment caught his eye

' kiss one of them and find out lol, good luck bro '

He scoffed under his breath but for some reason, the words didn’t leave his head. Instead, his mind supplied an image he hadn’t asked for: leaning in toward Y/n, close enough to see the flecks of gold in her eyes, close enough to—

Jake froze.

It was like his brain had defaulted to her, skipping past Tora entirely. The image was so clear, so vivid, that his chest tightened and heat crept up the back of his neck.

What the hell?

His body felt suddenly restless, energy sparking through his limbs. He shoved his face into his pillow and let out a muffled, frustrated groan. The cold air from the AC blasted over him, but it didn’t matter. His skin still burned. He pulled the pillow away, staring up at the ceiling like it might give him an answer.

“What the fuck am I doing?”

The next morning, Y/n walked into campus with a thin layer of glossy pink shimmering on her lips. At least, it was supposed to be pink on her, it looked a little off. Too pale, almost like she’d just eaten something greasy and forgot to wipe her mouth. A couple of girls near the gates noticed instantly. They leaned toward each other, trying to stifle their laughter, their voices pitched low but not low enough.

“Is she serious?”

“It’s… not her shade.”

“Poor thing.”

They weren’t being cruel exactly, if anything, their tone carried a hint of pity but Y/n still felt the sting. She walked past them with her usual downward gaze, eyes fixed on the ground, hands gripping the strap of her bag.

Still, she kept the gloss on.

She even timed her route to pass the bench where Sunghoon usually sat before first lecture. Sure enough, there he was, leaning back casually, scrolling through his phone. Her heart rate picked up, her fingers twitching at her sides. She tilted her chin just enough for the light to catch on her lips, waiting for him to glance up.

He didn’t.

Not even a flicker of his gaze in her direction.

Her chest tightened. She kept walking.

It wasn’t until she reached the corridor that someone else’s attention caught her off guard.

Jake.

He was leaning against the wall near the library entrance, arms crossed, his gaze flicking toward her as she passed. For a moment, she thought she’d imagined it but no, he was looking right at her mouth. Her lips to be exact...

That looks so ugly, Jake grimaced, the words sharp in his head.

But even as he told himself that, his eyes lingered longer than they should. He didn’t know why. Something about it — about her looked different. Wrong shade or not, it was still a change. And not in a bad way.

By the time Y/n sat down in the library later that day, she’d mostly forgotten about him noticing. It was the same as every other afternoon she took the seat across from Jake, opened her books, and they didn’t speak. They never spoke. Until he cleared his throat.

She looked up, startled, her brows knitting slightly. “That shade looks hideous on you,” Jake said flatly, not bothering to soften the words.

There was no flicker of offense in her face. No glare, no muttered insult in return. Instead, Y/n’s eyes softened into something almost apologetic, big, round, and too trusting. Without saying a word, she dug into her bag, pulled out a tissue, and began wiping the gloss off.

Jake blinked in disbelief.

“You’re just… gonna take it off?” he asked, almost incredulous. She gave a small sheepish shrug. “I knew it didn’t look good. I just… wanted Sunghoon to notice.”

Her voice was quiet, matter of fact. Not even embarrassed, just… honest. Jake leaned back in his chair, staring at her for a moment. Was she actually this dense? Or just that straightforward? Either way, it made his chest feel weird. He exhaled through his nose, dragging a hand down his face. “I know someone who can help you. With makeup, I mean.”

Y/n’s head lifted instantly. “Really?”

The change in her was almost blinding, her whole expression lit up, like someone had just turned on a light inside her. Jake felt something in his chest jolt. His palms were suddenly warm.

“Yeah,” he muttered, forcing his gaze back to his notebook. “My high school friend, Sunoo. He’s doing a makeup course now.”

He scribbled a number on a sticky note and slid it across the table. She took it delicately, as if it were something valuable. “Thank you,” she said, her voice so genuinely grateful it made his ears burn. “You’re… so kind and helpful.” Before he could respond, she reached into her bag again and placed something small on his desk, a strawberry lollipop, still wrapped in shiny pink plastic.

“For you,” she said simply, before saving Sunoo’s number in her phone.

Jake stared at the candy for a second too long. It wasn’t anything special. But the fact that it came from her the fact that she’d felt the need to give him something in return made warmth creep up his neck. The rest of the study session passed without another word between them, but when Jake left the library, the lollipop was in his pocket. He didn’t even like strawberry flavor, but he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away.

Walking home, he realized he was smiling. It curled slowly at the corners of his mouth and stayed there, refusing to fade.

She had called him kind. She had thanked him.

And for some stupid reason, that meant more to him than it should have.

It was a breezy Saturday afternoon when Y/n finally met Sunoo in person. They’d exchanged a few texts since Jake gave her his number, but now, standing in the bustling makeup aisle of sephora, she realized how different he was from anyone she’d ever met. Sunoo radiated energy that could light up a dead room in seconds. His hands moved almost as fast as his mouth, pointing at palettes, testing swatches on the back of his hand, tapping his chin dramatically when something didn’t meet his standards.

Y/n, in contrast, followed him quietly, clutching a small basket. Every now and then, he’d glance over and beam at her as if they’d known each other for years.

“You,” Sunoo said, holding up a lip tint like it was a rare jewel, “need this. Perfect undertone, won’t wash you out, and—” He leaned forward conspiratorially. “—it’ll make you look expensive.”

She blinked. “Expensive?”

“Like you drink overpriced coffee and ghost people after two dates,” he teased.

Y/n stifled a laugh. “I… don’t think I could pull that off.”

“Yes, you can. Leave it to me.”

Over the next hour, Sunoo guided her through every essential, the right foundation shade, a soft blush that wouldn’t make her look sunburnt, mascara that lengthened but didn’t clump, and, most importantly, glosses that didn’t resemble cooking oil. He didn’t oversell. He didn’t overwhelm. It was just the right products, the right shades, in the right amounts.

When they finally stepped out of the store, Y/n’s bag was neatly packed with her small but perfect starter kit.

“I’ll make a demo video for you,” Sunoo said as they strolled down the sidewalk. “My classes are insane right now no break except weekends but I’ll send it online. And if you’re lost or stuck, video call me anytime. Even if I’m in the middle of dinner.” Her chest warmed. “Thank you… seriously, thank you so much.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” he said with a playful smirk. “Wait until people start staring at you in the cafeteria.”

They ducked into a cozy café afterward, settling into a booth by the window. The air smelled faintly of cinnamon and espresso, and Sunoo wasted no time launching into his stories. He told her about college, the good professors, the terrible ones, the one classmate who ate pickles during lectures. Then he spiraled into his high school years, his brief but dramatic dating history, and somewhere between a rant about cafeteria food and a tangent about a professor’s bad haircut, a familiar name slipped into the conversation.

Jake.

Y/n perked up instantly. “You know Jake from high school?” “Know him? We were in the same class for three years,” Sunoo said, stirring his iced latte lazily. “Jake was always… well, Jake. Smart, yes. But unnecessarily cold and introverted. Like he thought speaking to people would take years off his life.”

She tried to picture him that way. Cold, yes. Introverted, yes. But smart? Somehow, that made sense.

“Don’t tell him I said that,” Sunoo grinned wickedly.

Y/n giggled, and Sunoo, seeing her reaction, leaned back in his seat like he’d accomplished something. “But to be fair, he’s always been the kind of person who helps quietly. Never flashy, never asking for anything in return.”

She tilted her head, curious.

“There was this time in high school,” Sunoo went on, his tone softening, “when I used to get bullied by some senior boys. You know, for being ‘too feminine’ for a guy. Jake… he didn’t say much, but he always showed up. Sat next to me, walked me to class, made sure they backed off. He’s probably the reason I didn’t lose my mind that year.” The words sat heavy in Y/n’s mind. Her fingers curled around her cup as she remembered the library, Jake sliding Sunoo’s number toward her.

Jake was… actually cute. Not in the obvious, polished way Sunghoon was of course...

Sunoo, however, wasn’t done. “Has Jake ever said anything that hurt your feelings?” he asked suddenly, raising an eyebrow.

Her lips twitched into a pout before she could stop herself. “He… probably hates me. The way he looks at me sometimes—” She scrunched her nose, mimicking his signature disgusted expression. “It’s like I’m a bug on his desk.” Sunoo threw his head back and laughed. “Oh no, that’s not hate.”

“It’s not?”

“That’s his coping mechanism.”

She blinked. “…Coping for what?”

“For existing near people without combusting, obviously,” Sunoo smirked.

Y/n tilted her head, unconvinced. Sunoo leaned forward across the table, his eyes glinting like he was about to share a state secret. “Next time he says or does something annoying…” He paused for dramatic effect.

“…look him dead in the eye and say...........”

Her eyes went wide before a burst of laughter escaped her, so sudden she had to cover her mouth. Sunoo grinned triumphantly. “Oh, I like that laugh. Keep it. Use it on him, too — it’ll drive him insane.”

She wiped at the corner of her eyes, still chuckling. “You’re evil.”

“I’m effective,” he corrected with a wink.

The next week, Y/n followed Sunoo’s advice down to the smallest detail.

No glitter, no mismatched tones, just a light sweep of blush, a touch of mascara, and soft nude pink gloss that caught light in a way that looked effortless. It was the first time in a long while she walked into the building without feeling the need to check her reflection twice. Most people didn’t seem to notice. Her classmates breezed past her as usual, heads down, mid conversation about weekend plans or exam dates.

But Jake noticed.

He noticed from the second she stepped into the lecture hall. His eyes followed the curve of her cheek when she turned her head, the subtle shine on her lips, the faint curl in her hair.

And he hated himself for noticing.

Because then he noticed something else, the way her eyes, big and almost shy, sought out one person in particular.

Sunghoon.

Jake had seen that look before. Soft. Hopeful. Like she was waiting for something she never got. And when Sunghoon didn’t even bother to look her way, Jake’s jaw clenched so hard it ached. By the time the class ended, his frustration had reached a low, simmering boil. He wasn’t even sure if it was aimed at her for looking at Sunghoon like that… or at Sunghoon for not looking back. He left the lecture hall without waiting for anyone, cutting through the east wing toward his next class, Modern Literature. The one he shared with Tora.

His mind was a mess.

He didn’t know what he felt anymore.

Maybe this was it. Maybe he needed to talk to Tora, clear the air, tell her exactly how he felt so he could stop spiraling like this. Stop whatever this was with Y/n. When he pushed open the classroom door, it looked empty at first. He stepped inside, adjusting the strap of his bag and froze.

Tora wasn’t alone.

She was against the far wall, kissing a guy Jake vaguely recognized from class...Jay? His arm was braced above her head, her hand resting lightly on his chest like they’d done this before. The sound in Jake’s head went sharp and white, like static. He didn’t move. Didn’t say anything. Just stood there long enough for his stomach to twist into something unrecognizable before turning on his heel. His breath was uneven as he slipped out into the hallway, shutting the door as quietly as if he’d never been there. He didn’t want them to know. Didn’t want her to know.

He walked without thinking until his feet carried him to the one place on campus where no one usually went the back staircase.

Except someone was already there.

Y/n stood leaning against the far wall, her bag still slung over her shoulder, fingers fidgeting with the strap. Her posture was awkward, like she hadn’t decided whether she wanted to leave or stay. Jake stopped halfway down the steps. “…Seriously?”

She looked up.

“This is my spot,” he said flatly, moving down the last few steps. “I’ve been coming here for years.”

She huffed. “Your spot? Pretty sure the building belongs to the university, not Jake Sim.”

“Well, you’re in it,” he shot back.

She crossed her arms. “So what, I should just leave because you said so?”

“Yeah. Exactly that.”

They stared at each other, the silence thickening in the narrow stairwell. He could see it now, her eyes slightly puffy like she’d been holding back something all day, the way her mouth pressed into a thin line. “What happened to you?” he asked, before he could stop himself.

Her gaze flickered away. “Nothing.”

It wasn’t nothing. Not with the way her voice dipped at the end.

Truth was, she tried her best to get Sunghoon’s attention today, same as always. But instead of meeting her halfway, he hadn’t spared her a glance. And to make things worse, Wonyoung had said something cutting loud enough for a few people to hear, sharp enough to make them laugh. Sunghoon had been there. He had laughed too. Not cruelly, maybe, but enough to sting.

She came here to shake it off. To hide where no one could see her face and apparently, Jake didn’t count as “no one.”

“Look,” she muttered, “I’m not moving. You’re not moving. Let’s just… not talk.”

Fine.

Jake didn’t feel like talking either.

They both sank into their usual defensive positions. Her leaning against the wall, him dropping onto the last step, elbows braced on his knees. For a while, it stayed quiet. Just the distant echo of voices from the hall, the hum of pipes in the wall.

But Jake’s gaze wandered despite himself.

He noticed the way her curls framed her face today, soft and light. The faint sheen on her nose when the sunlight caught it. The way her lashes, longer than he’d realized, brushed her cheek when she blinked. And her lips —

He looked away fast, swallowing. It hit him all at once, the hollow in his chest wasn’t from Tora kissing someone else. That hadn’t hurt the way he’d expected it to. What hurt was this. Sitting here, looking at Y/n, and feeling something twist tight in his gut without knowing what the hell to call it. And maybe that’s why the words slipped out, sharper than he meant.

“Stop creeping out Sunghoon like you want to kiss him every time he looks at you. Maybe that’s when he’ll finally notice you.”

Her head snapped toward him. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

She let out a long, slow sigh that carried exhaustion more than anger. “It’s none of your business who I kiss or not.” He leaned back, crossing his arms. “Who would kiss you anyway?”

The jab landed and she turned at him properly “I dare you to kiss me,” she said, voice steady. “And keep it in your pants… hah! Get off, loser” tone carrying out exactly how Sunoo taught her.

Jake was star struck.

Her tone wasn’t flirty. It wasn’t shy. It was daring that prickled under his skin, made his pulse trip. His eyes flicked to her lips again, unbidden. She was still looking at him like she knew exactly what she’d just done — and maybe she did. Neither of them moved closer, but the air felt heavier now, charged.

His throat was dry, and his chest felt too tight, and for once, he didn’t have a quick retort. Somewhere above them, footsteps echoed in the stairwell. The spell broke.

She looked away first, brushing a curl behind her ear like nothing had happened. “Thought so.” Jake forced a scoff, though it came out weaker than he wanted. “You wish.” But when he left the staircase a few minutes later, his ears were burning. And for the first time, he wasn’t sure who had actually won.

Over the next two weeks, it became a pattern. He bumped into her in any way possible. It was almost like someone set a love trap for them in every corner of the university.

Vending machine. Library staircase. The cramped little photocopying room. He’d turn a corner and she’d be there, half-flinching like she’d been caught somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be. It was never intentional.

At first, Jake chalked it up to campus being small.

Then… he started wondering if it was something else. By the time exams were over, Jake had a strange, simmering awareness of her. He told himself it was just because she was everywhere, like an inconvenient shadow. But there were moments, fleeting, uninvited where he caught himself watching the way she brushed curls out of her face, or how she always chewed her lip before answering a professor’s question.

He liked it.

He liked the feeling of noticing her, the way it made something unfamiliar twist inside him. It was addictive almost.

Yeonjun’s parties were legendary. Not as wild in the way movies liked to exaggerate though there was always a flood of alcohol and at least one person crying in the bathroom and everyone wanted to be there. He was rich, charming, and the type of host who remembered your drink preference even if you’d only mentioned it once in passing.

So when his “End of Semester Blowout” invite dropped into the group chats, the campus might as well have been issued a mandatory attendance order. Jake didn’t care much for big gatherings, but Heeseung convinced him.

“You need to loosen up,” he said. “Besides, everyone’s gonna be there. You don’t want people thinking you’re hiding.” That last part was bait, and Jake knew it but he went anyway. The house was glowing when they arrived. Lights looped across the fence and up the porch railing, music thumped low from somewhere inside, and the smell of something sugary and alcoholic hit Jake as soon as they stepped through the door.

There were clusters of people on couches, leaning against kitchen counters, spilling onto the backyard deck.

Laughter and music blended into a dizzying haze.

Jake spotted her almost immediately.

Y/n was standing near the living room’s edge, a drink in hand, talking to a girl from their department.

She looked… different.

Her usual boring hoodie was replaced with something softer, still pastel, but the fabric caught the light in a way that made her seem almost luminous. Glossed lips, loose curls falling over her shoulder and yet, she still stood with her weight shifted back, as though ready to retreat at the first sign of trouble. He told himself he was just observing.

Noticing, because noticing was unavoidable in a place this crowded.

And yet, every time he moved through the room, his gaze found her again.

The spin the bottle game started in the den. It was Nicholas’s idea, which meant it was guaranteed to be just cruel enough to keep people entertained. Jake didn’t sit down to play. He leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching the circle form on the rug. Bottles were always dangerous things in rooms full of bored college students.

It started harmlessly.

Two people kissed, everyone whooped, someone took a shot.

Then the bottle spun and landed on Y/n and Sunghoon. Her name rippled through the group like a lit fuse.

Someone giggled.

“Lucky draw, Sunghoon!” another voice teased.

Jake’s eyes narrowed. Sunghoon’s brows shot up. “What?” “She’s a virgin, right?” someone else chimed in. “Careful, man.”

The laughter that followed was sharp edged, the kind that made Jake’s stomach knot. Y/n’s cheeks were already pink, but she smiled, that tiny, brittle smile she wore when she wanted to pretend words didn’t sting.

Sunghoon didn’t lean in.

He shook his head, still smiling like it was a joke, and said, “Nah. I’ll pass.”

The room erupted laughter, mock groans, a couple of “Oooooh, burn!”s.

Jake didn’t join in. Neither did Y/n. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. It should’ve ended there.

But Nicholas, grinning like a cat who’d cornered something small and trembling, said, “Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t she kiss Jake? Both losers. Perfect match, right?” The laughter this time was louder. A chorus of ooohs and do it, do it! filled the room.

Jake’s jaw tightened. It wasn’t just the whole setting.It was the way they said it, the glee in watching someone flinch.

Y/n didn’t even try to laugh it off this time. Her throat bobbed, and her eyes darted to the floor.Then she stood too quickly and slipped through the crowd.

Jake pushed off the wall before he’d even decided what he was doing.The air outside was cooler, but she wasn’t slowing down. He followed the sound of her footsteps down the street until she stopped under a flickering streetlamp.

“Y/n,” he called.

She didn’t turn.

Only when he caught up and gently grabbed her wrist did she look at him. Her head jerked back toward him, eyes wide, but not startled.

More… tired.

Tiredness from carrying the weight of other people’s words for too long.

“Y/n—”

“Let go.”

Her voice wasn’t sharp, just flat.

Jake didn’t.

Instead, he stepped around her so she had to stop. The streetlamp above them flickered once, buzzing faintly, casting light and shadow across her face in unsteady intervals. He didn’t have a speech prepared. Didn’t know why his chest felt too tight, or why the thought of her walking away made him feel like he was missing something crucial.

“I’m… sorry,” he said, and the words felt strange in his mouth. Her brows pulled together, just slightly, before she forced a small, practiced smile.

“Why are you saying sorry?”

He opened his mouth and closed it again. Because what was he supposed to say?

Sorry that people are assholes? Sorry I didn’t stop them sooner? Sorry I didn’t punch Nicholas in the throat? Sorry that I… noticed you tonight more than I’ve noticed anyone else?

Instead, he just stood there. And in the space between them, he noticed the tremor in her hand where his fingers still rested. She was shaking, he felt it when he shifted his grip, thumb brushing her knuckles.

“Hey,” he said quietly, tugging her closer. Not enough to close all the distance, but enough that she had to tilt her head up to look at him.

Her eyes were glassy in the half-light.

And for a moment, he thought she was going to laugh on herself, that deflective humor she always used when things got too real.

Instead, she whispered, “Do you think I’m… that ugly?” It hit him like a sucker punch.

He blinked, certain he’d misheard. But she was still looking at him, searching his face like she expected him to confirm it “listen I—”

“I know I look ugly, okay?” she cut in, voice starting to wobble.

“I know I’m a loser, and no amount of makeup can fix me, but....I wanna be loved too.”

She didn’t say it with drama.

She breathed out the word that had been stuck in her throat as a lump for so long, her voice worn thin at the edges. And Jake who had always had something to say, some sharp remark or savage comment couldn’t find anything. Nothing that wouldn’t sound pathetic or wrong.

“Y/n, stop… please.” His voice cracked halfway through, and he hated that she might’ve heard it.

She took a shaky step back, pulling against his grip, but he didn’t let go. “Go away, Jake. You were right, I was infact creeping him out...for someone who knows how to embarrass myself in every moment I don’t deserve Sunghoon, I don't deserve you. I’m not stupid — I know you don’t like me, so you don’t have to pity me—”

Her words died when he closed the space between them in one step. He pulled her in gently, movements slow, deliberate, that gave her every chance to push him away. One hand slid to her hip, fingers curling loosely against the fabric there. The other still held her wrist, and now, with careful pressure, he guided it upward until her palm rested flat against his chest. She felt it immediately

the heat under his shirt, the quick, uneven rhythm of his heartbeat.

Her breathing stuttered.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she could’ve pulled away. But her fingers stayed splayed against him, feeling the thud of his pulse. Jake’s eyes were locked on hers. Not scanning, not drifting, just there, unwavering, like he had finally decided to stop looking anywhere else. When he leaned in, it wasn’t to kiss her.

Not yet.

He pressed his forehead to hers, and she felt the faint brush of his breath against her lips. His voice was low, almost a restraint whisper.

“Don’t dare me to kiss you so hard ” he murmured, “that you fall on your knees right here.”

What the fuck.

Her mind was a blur, throat painfully dry, chest tight, and pulse pounded so loudly in ears it nearly drowned out the silence around them. The street was still, the flickering lamplight catching on the faint glimmer of her teary eyes. She absolutely swore that throwing herself into Jake’s arms and kissing him until the world stopped spinning was the only solution that made sense right now. The air between them was loaded, fragile. No words, just the sound of their breathing, soft, uneven, a little hesitant. Somewhere between that and the erratic rhythm of their hearts, something unspoken was pulling them closer.

Jake could feel it too. The weight of her hand still pressed against his chest, the warmth of her body just inches from his. His brain was screaming at him to move, to say something, to do anything, but his mouth was frozen. The only thought looping through his head was ' I’m done for. '

But he didn’t regret a single word he had said. Not one. If anything, he wished he’d said more. Her shoulders, which had been trembling moments before, softened under his hold. The tension slowly bled out of her body, and before Jake could register what was happening, she tilted her chin up ever so slightly.

Her lips brushed his in a fleeting, tentative touch, a peck. It lasted less than a second.

But to Jake, it might as well have been an eternity. His stomach twisted, a strange cocktail of adrenaline and warmth shooting through him so violently he swore he heard fireworks in the distance. His knees felt weak, almost gelatinous, and his chest… God, his chest was a mess of chaotic thumping that felt both unbearable and addicting. She pulled back instantly, her face flaming red. “I—sorry, Jake, I—” She stammered over the words, her voice shaking. “You’re—I couldn’t stop myself—”

Her eyes darted downward, avoiding his entirely as she stared at the tips of her shoes, biting her lip like she was about to spiral into a full blown panic. The night air nipped at her cheeks, but she was too flustered to notice.

thump

Her head shot up.

Jake was no longer standing in front of her instead he was on the ground, sprawled out on the cold pavement, the faintest dazed look on his face as if the kiss had knocked the last coherent thought straight out of his skull. “Jake?!” Her voice pitched higher, panic flooding her veins. She dropped to her knees beside him, gripping his shoulder.

He blinked once. Twice. Then a slow, lazy smile tugged at his lips. “fucking finally,” he mumbled, almost dreamily, before letting his head fall back again.

Y/n’s jaw dropped, her heart doing flips she didn’t know were possible.

Her nemesis, apparently, had just passed out from a kiss.

“Oh my GOD. OH. MY. GOD. Did you kill him? ”

The moment she answered, her eardrums were assaulted by Sunoo’s high pitched voice and she held the phone an inch away from her ear.

"About that....well..." she blushed, a small giggle escaping her lips.

“You KISSED him and the man collapsed like a Victorian widow! This is literally better than any drama I’ve watched!” Y/n groaned, dragging her hand down her face. “It wasn’t—stop making it sound like—ugh—it was just a peck!”

“That’s the point!” Sunoo howled through the line. “A peck did that to him! What’s he gonna do when you—” He cut himself off, letting out a scandalized gasp. “No, actually, don’t tell me. I’m pure.” She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out. “You’re the farthest thing from pure.”

“True,” Sunoo admitted without shame. “But please, you have to tell me if he passes out again. I’ll start bringing smelling salts to campus.” She hung up before he could escalate further, tossing her phone onto the bed while letting out a scream mixed somewhere between highschool girls finally kissing their crashes and a breakdown.

Somehow, despite the chaos of that night, she and Jake slipped back into their usual dynamic.

If you could call it “usual” anymore. The insults were still there. He still called her a loser every other day, and she still found new, creative ways to tell him he looked like a dog when he stared at her pretending to look at the white board. But there was something different in the way their banter lingered now like their words were a thin veil over something neither of them wanted to name just yet. Sometimes she’d catch him staring at her from across the cafeteria. Not the hostile, “I’m trying to figure out if I hate you” staring from before, this was softer, distracted, like he’d forgotten anyone else existed.

And sometimes, when they were alone between classes, their arguments didn’t end with just throwing insults. They ended with him backing her into the wall, his mouth on hers, five whole minutes of kissing like the world was going to end before the next lecture.

“You’re still annoying,” Jake mumbled between kisses, his hand sliding to the back of her neck.

“You’re still a loser,” she shot back, breathless, not moving away.

“Yeah?” he smirked, brushing his lips against hers again. “Guess we’re perfect for each other then.”

It was ridiculous. It was stupid. And yet… they didn’t hate it.

Sunghoon and Tora were… well, they were still there, somewhere on campus. But to Y/N and Jake, they had become distant memories. They were still losers, by most social standards. Jake still made enemies with professors for making them check his answer sheets 5 times. Y/n still found new ways to trip over her own shoelaces in public. But being losers together somehow made college feel less like a battlefield.

Sometimes they wondered when exactly things had shifted between them. Was it that night on the street? The moment his forehead pressed to hers? Or maybe even before that when they were still pretending to dont know each other but kept finding themselves in the same places anyway. None of them didn’t seem too interested in figuring it out either. He just kept showing up sometimes with coffee, sometimes with sarcastic remarks, sometimes with both.

One morning, as they walked to class together, she bumped his shoulder.

“You know, if anyone saw us, they might think we actually like each other.”

He smirked. “Let’s not ruin my reputation like that.”

She snorted. “Your reputation’s already trash.”

“Yeah,” he said, glancing at her with that infuriating softness in his eyes. “But it’s our trash.”

And for the first time since she’d set foot on campus, Y/N realized she wasn’t counting the days until the semester ended.

College was still exhausting. People still made snide comments sometimes. But now, she had someone to sit with during boring lectures, someone to sneak off with for five stolen minutes, someone to laugh with when they both inevitably embarrassed themselves in front of the entire class.

They weren’t perfect. Far from it. But they were in this together.

Two losers, making it work.

THE END

©sunishake

[00002968]

[00002968]

COLDER THAN ICE !

nhl!toge inumaki x reader

𓇼 preview: you have a habit of walking along the beach near your campus late at night, needing to be alone after many long days of classes and socializing. so what happens when there's an unexpected visitor-more specifically a star in the nhl- below you? you fall--in more ways than one.

𓇼 warnings: all characters are aged up and/or in college, strangers to friends to lovers(soo original), they go through the canon event of the GODAWFUL "casual" stage, angst, fluff, SMUT, freaky toge, he matches his "snake" name (you'll see), sunshine/grumpy kinda, happy ending!

𓇼 wc: 4.1k

𓇼 a/n: guys i finally learned how to do gradient text and i feel like a fucking coding genius. i need to elaborate on this hockey!toge thought more and i def will... not my best work for sure... oh well!

anybody, even if they aren't a fan of hockey, knows about megumi fushiguro and inumaki's dynamic. inumaki's first name was unknown by the world, similar to the rest of him. an absolute powerhouse in the world of hockey, when working together, megumi quickly wraps and weaves himself around players to block and trip them up while inumaki focuses on doing the dirty work. inumaki was ruthless, not afraid at all to fight other players or slam them against railings as he scores. the name "snake and fangs" is extremely fitting, inumaki not being afraid to bite.

you yourself weren't too interested in hockey, but your friends dragged you to their games anyways.

"is this your guys' idea of fun? are you insane?"

your friends scream loudly as players are being slammed into the plastic guarding, the only shield separating the fans and the ice. hockey was certainly not your favorite thing to watch, easily becoming overwhelmed by what to focus on, what is and isn't allowed, and the fights. your friends and their boyfriends cheer and scream for your mutual friend, megumi.

though, megumi could be the last player you're focusing on, the only player that has your attention is number 11. you process the large letters on his back spelling "INUMAKI" before you realize who he is. inumaki, a star in the national hockey league and one half of the most powerful duo: snake and fangs.

the game went on as it usually did, the only thing different was your hyper attention on inumaki, the snake. you always knew of his reputation, but you never payed much attention until now. and even though you admired him, you were never going to talk to him. you didn't even know what he looked like under the protection of his helmet. their team won, as they usually did, and you bid your friends goodbye before they went to the afterparty celebration.

a deep sigh was the first thing to escape your lips once you closed the door to your apartment--an investment you finally made in your third year of college. today was longer than most, having a full day of classes and the hockey game with your friends shortly after. it was now 10 p.m., and the only thing relieving your stress from today was the fact that you had no classes tomorrow. you soaked in one of your only times of peace and quiet in your apartment before shifting into your nightly routine.

as much as you wanted to go straight to bed, you ruined your schedule for yourself two years ago when you first started attending college. ever since the breather you took at your first party, finding a secluded beach in the process, you went every night before going to bed. and this habit wasn't going to change now, and you wonder what will happen to your sleep schedule if you move away after college.

so, as always, you change out of your clothes into something more comfortable and head out to the same secluded beach. it was familiar and felt more like home than anything, the soft sand under your feet and melodic waves crashing on the shore. it was ever the same, you didn't need to watch for anything or keep a smile in case anybody saw you. except one thing-- you surely didn't expect to fall over somebody laying in the sand.

you crash into the ground with a choked gasp, the sand-and body- softening the fall slightly. quickly pushing yourself up, you look at the person, now clear to be a young man, with utter embarrassment etched on your features. as if falling onto a guy your age wasn't awful enough, he was probably the most attractive man you'd seen in your life.

"shit, i am so so sorry-" you quickly run your hands over your face, groaning softly, "this is so embarassing."

the man laughs softly, and everything is worse. as you start to take in his features, your blush deepened and spread. he was beautiful, his features softly illuminated by the moonlight. he has silky platinum hair, a scarf covering the lower portion of his face, and dark brown eyes. no- were his eyes purple?-

before you could stare anymore than you already were, you heard soft scribbling and looked down, seeing him write into a post-it note.

'it's okay. usually nobody's out here.'

he smiled softly as he held it up, or at least you hope he was smiling, seeing his eyes squint slightly at the edges from over his scarf. his note makes you smile slightly as well, whether it was due to his silent nature or the familiar beach calming you.

"you're telling me..." you groan again before speaking quietly, "i've been coming for years and i've never seen you."

again, he scribbles quickly into his notepad and holds it up for you to see, having to squint slightly due to the moon's poor job at illuminating the sheet.

'i usually come later than this, work ended earlier than usual today.'

you nod silently, "not a big talker?"

he huffs softly at this and shakes his head, not with any serious meaning. he once again reaches for something to write with, but instead pulls out his phone and opens his notes app. the light from his phone successfully lights up his face, highlighting his features much better than the moon. yeah, his eyes were definitely purple. he faces the phone screen toward you, the bold lettering much easier to read coming from his phone.

'yeah. went to the doctor when i was a kid and found out the nerves in my vocal chords are fucked up. i can speak a bit but most of the time talking hurts like shit.'

you smile sympathetically at him and trace your finger through the sand, looking down. "it's alright, i like the quiet."

he looks back at you with a small smile, admiring your features under the moonlight. he notes that your voice is smooth and comforting, and he finds himself wanting to hear it more as he writes to hear more responses from you, and best of all hearing your laugh.

you ended up talking to the stranger until 3 a.m. that night, but you didn't mind. the cold bit at your face, but it was hard to notice even that in his company. after that night, you continued meeting at the beach for months.

even as he didn't speak, he made you laugh, hard. whether it was because of something stupid he typed on his phone, a brainrotted meme he sent you, or purely his expressions and reactions to things you tell him.

without fail, every time you smiled or laughed, he looked at you with a soft smile, losing his scarf along the way of knowing you. without fail he always found some way to touch you, whether it was wiping something off your face or burying his head in your shoulder because he's "tired." you also learned that his name is toge, he's rich as fuck, and very protective about his life outside of you.

you, on the other hand, shared a lot of your life with him. you told him extensively about all of your closest friends and family, specifically megumi. you boasted about having a friend that was in the national hockey league, gushing about how cool it was. every time the conversation of hockey was introduced, toge pursed his lips and nodded tightly, not knowing how to respond. you assumed that he just didn't like hockey, but nonetheless begged him to meet megumi, along with the rest of your friends. every time you did, he wrote 'maybe' and that 'i don't know if they'd like me.'

another thing you didn't know about toge was what the two of you were. even after a year of him becoming your closest friend, you didn't know if the word "friend" was fitting. you had fallen asleep in his arms and woken up to him softly kissing your forehead and touching each other a bit too comfortably for “friends” frequently, all while keeping the title of being close friends. your time together extended beyond the beach, almost for an entire year, buying shitty gas station food and going to an arcade. the beach looked different than it had in the winter, spring, and summer, all seasons you had spent at the beach with toge. it didn’t matter what you did, he spent most of the time observing you quietly, then softly scratching into a notepad or typing into his phone. 

never real dates, but never doing anything that was simply friendly. you'd rather die than bring it up, though, and you weren't planning on moving past whatever it was now. although your meetings had started to occur outside of the beach, your beach nights were still frequent.

one particular day you spent studying in the library on campus, feeling a familiar double-buzz in your pocket. you had changed toge's ringtone soon into your friendship, knowing immediately if a text was coming from him. it wasn't hard to tell, though, as when he texted he usually spammed you. sliding your phone from your pocket, you glance at your screen and smile softly.

toge!!: hello hello

toge!!: work done…dying..only you can save me.....

chuckling softly, you type out a quick response.

'you're about to ask if you can stay over.'

toge!!: PLEASE

toge!!: i can only fully sleep and recharge at your place idk what it is

toge!!: be honest is there meth in your ac....

another thing that happened as the two of you grew closer and bonded was that he loosened up. he was incredibly funny and never failed to make you laugh just by being stupid, and so as always, you roll your eyes and bite back a smile, pushing your phone back into your pocket. no matter if you responded or didn't, he was probably already on the way to your apartment.

once your key unlocks the front door of your basically shared space, you step in to see toge passed out on your couch. you huff slightly before quietly dropping your bag and jacket off by the front door. slipping your shoes off, you walk over to where toge is laying and sit by where his head rests, watching him inhale and exhale deeply. seeing him sleeping so peacefully stirs something inside you, and your thumb lightly grazes his cheek.

toge stirs slightly and his eyes flutter open, widening at the realization of your proximity. he clears his throat and turns so his creeping blush stays hidden. pulling out his phone again, he types quickly.

‘work was shitty today. coworkers pissed me off’

you didn't press on his privacy much, but you did wonder. he's secretive about what he does for work, he's loaded, he's handsome, and he doesn't speak. as you've gotten closer he's promised to tell you sometime in the future.

so, you didn’t ask him about his work this time and let the good moment with him last, cuddling on your couch becoming a habit the two of you shared, as friends.

another particular night was hot. the winter had come and passed, and the humidity of the blazing sun was back, even when it wasn't in the sky. as you slip off your shoes and walk down the beach to your usual spot, you smile and wave when you see toge ankle-deep in the water.

you speed up, lightly jogging toward him. he lifts you up slightly in a hug, which he had begun to do shortly after knowing you. when he began to do this to greet you, unable to do so properly with words, he blamed it on your inability to not fall onto him. this might have been partially true, but he really just wanted to touch you; touching you was one of the only ways that toge could express himself fully due to his condition.

you feel him huff softly in your ear and gently put you down, smiling back at you. he pulls his phone out, but instead of typing a message out he takes a picture of you-which you quickly try to protest once you realize what he's doing- the moon slightly highlighting your features. he then goes to his notes app to type a message,

'so pretty.'

you blush heavily, hopeful that the poor lighting was hiding this, but his grin says otherwise. he kisses your forehead softly, chuckling at the way your blush deepens afterward. you press your head into his shoulder and mutter a soft 'shut up.' when you look up into his eyes again, you expect him to be smiling goofily at you and try to do something stupid again, but he's not.

instead, he gazes at you softly, slowly reaching up to cup the side of your face and lean in slightly. your breath hitches as your eyes go wide, out of shock- or maybe fear.

one other thing you learned about toge: he always acted on his impulses. so, like many other times, he did the same by closing the distance between the two of you.

your lips moved slowly, softly pressing against each other before speeding your movements and holding onto his neck, wrapping your hands into his messy hair. when he eventually did pull away, he smiled at you like he always did: his friendly and goofy smile that made your heart drop. you never really had guy friends to this extent, maybe that was just normal.

so, when you went home that day, you called him like normal and everything seemed okay. things went back to how they were before, the same dynamic in place.

again, you didn't press on his privacy much, but everyday you two spent more time together you wished to know about anything from his personal life. you’ve learned that his parents aren’t quite in the picture, but you wanted to know more. so tonight, you finally asked. 

"toge.." he hums quietly at your calling, tilting his head slightly. "why don't you tell me anything about yourself?"

his eyebrows pinch together as he drops his hands from your face, shaking his head slowly. he lifts his phone again and types, opting to text you as your own phone lights up.

'soon, i promise. :)'

you roll your eyes in annoyance and look away, as he looks at you sadly, apology in his eyes, muttering "god knows when" to yourself.

when, exactly, was june 18th.

the stanley cup had finally come, and you of course came to support megumi. cheering loudly, you adorn yourself in shades of light and dark blues, the colors of their hockey team: the ice wolves.

their opposing team was their all-time rival and tied for the best team in the nhl: the blazes.

the stadium was loud, screaming coming from both sides as players zipped around each other and striked the puck, attempting to score a goal for their team. it was the final three minutes of the game and it was a tie- 3 for 3.

it happened fast and was hard to make out exactly what happened, but it was hard to miss once it did. the central attacker for the blazes, yuuta okkotsu, skated extremely close to inumaki, attempting to gain control of the puck multiple times. eventually, he shoved inumaki lightly, and his reaction was explosive.

inumaki quickly ripped off his gloves and threw them, landing somewhere on the ice. yuuta was quickly slammed into the glass railing and inumaki's fist met his face multiple times before yuuta fought back, grabbing his jersey and pushing him away. megumi intervened by shoving yuuta out of the way and screaming something you couldn't hear. though, as inumaki fell, his helmet loosened and eventually came off as he hit the ice.

cameras flashed at the speed of light before you could even react or fully see his face, quickly putting his helmet back on and skating off the ice as he was in penalty for the rest of the game.

you didn't check your phone much after the game, heading straight to the beach and spending almost all night there, but toge never showed. you eventually left and used your phone for entertainment, one news article catching your eye.

BREAKING NHL: MYSTERY PLAYER INUMAKI, OR "THE SNAKE" 'S IDENTITY HAS BEEN REVEALED

you click on the article, curious as you never got to get a good look at who he was at the game before he out his helmet back on. it took a second to load, but once it did-

toge.

you quickly text him, no doubt blowing up his phone with messages.

toge????

read 11:17 PM

this is why you've been hiding what you do??

read 11:30 PM

can you call me please

read 11:38 PM

this continued for weeks.

you failed to hear from or see toge at all, and he hadn't been spotted by any press either. you even resorted to texting megumi, begging to know where he was.

"i'm sorry, y/n, i seriously don't know" megumi sighed, "if i did i would tell you."

you turn around, walking out of the hockey arena exasperated. you were once again checking for him at the team's practices, and had even been asking megumi if he was showing up to them (he wasn't) or if he had seen him (he hadn't). not only were you worried sick about not seeing him at all, he was missing practice and faced the risk of getting suspended or removed from the team.

you walk to your car as quickly as possible, bumping into someone on your way out the door. you look up to say a quick sorry and flash a smile, when you see him.

"toge," you sigh, anxiety creeping in your voice. "where have you been?"

toge's eyes widen when he sees you, quickly grabbing your hand and delicately leading you to the first room he sees, a meeting room for the executives of the team. you were angry, furious, at him, shoving him away from you and tears quickly brimming in your eyes. you were hurt, and rightfully so. he quickly closes the blinds to the room and looks around frantically, spotting a whiteboard on the wall and quickly writing.

'im sorry im so so so sorry. let me explain- hold'

you turned away, reaching for the door handle, until he gently grabbed your arm and pointed you to the whiteboard, everything written.

‘im sorry y/n, i fucked up, i just genuinely freaked out and ghosted everyone. you have this fucked up effect on me and i can’t get you out of my damn head. i was being selfish and i am selfish because i love you and i know you deserve better but i don’t care. i love you’

you violently shake your head, tears falling from your eyes. “deserve better than me? what the hell are you talking about toge? all i’ve ever wanted is you, toge” your voice trembling and shaky. you couldn’t continue, burying your face in your hands.

he quickly embraces you fully, rubbing your back comfortingly and kissing the top of your head. he whispers so quietly, even you’re barely able to hear it. “im sorry.”

you hated him for what he did, and still all you wanted was for him to hold you. you didn't know what to do, so you did what became tradition for the two of you. you lean up to him, softly placing your hand on the side of his face and stroking your thumb against his cheek, his eyes fluttering shut as you both lean into each other.

the kiss starts slow, an apology. his hands hold your head and rub your back, begging you to forgive him through his movements. and you do, as your lips move more feverishly and your tongues begin clashing together, toge pushing you against the meeting table.

his lips move down to your neck, slowly taking off your tank top from that day. suddenly, you push yourself away from him and gasp, "toge- the door-" which he kisses you quickly again in response, quickly locking the door and moving back to you.

you become more intense than before, promptly undressing each other. once you are fully undressed, toge pulls away from you and takes you in, all of you. his eyes shift from longing to pure hunger, moving toward you again and moving lower, eventually moving to kissing and sucking the side of your breast. you moan quietly and tug his hair, when you feel a sharp sensation where his lips once were.

looking down, you quickly realized that he bit you, and you instantly become as ravenous as he was. you pull him toward you again, whispering, "please, toge. i need you."

he gives you a smirk before kissing your breast once more, then up your body until he reaches your lips, pushing into you slowly. you moan and wince slightly, he was bigger than anybody you had been with before. he notices your soft sound and gently caresses your face, looking at you with pure adoration in his eyes. he kisses your forehead carefully, waiting until you give him the go-ahead to start moving.

and once you do, you almost regret it. that feeling is quickly replaced with pleasure, though, as he pushes in and out of you desperately. another thing you've come to learn about toge, he sure can grunt despite his throat condition. you can barely hear the sounds he's making, though, over your whines and gasps. he continues to kiss you when hes pounding into you, sucking gently on your neck before biting once again, swiping his tongue over what would surely become visible marks in the following hours.

and every time he delivered a particularly sharp thrust or nipped into your skin, you responded by tugging his hair, eliciting soft whines from his lips and stuttered movements. once his movements became completely wild and based on instinct, you knew he was getting close, and so were you.

you pulled him closer than he was before, impossibly so. he pulls away to look at you, conflicted. you nod at him, "i'm on the pill, toge."

that was all the confirmation he needed before he thrusted into you for the final times, pushing completely inside of you and releasing. he moans at the feeling of you pulsing around him before slowly pulling out and pecking your lips repeatedly, mouthing i love you.

you pull him into a final kiss before getting dressed again, about to walk out to your car. he pulls you into him again, looking confused and pulling out his phone.

'where are you going?'

"what do you mean? i was gonna go home, we're friends again."

a flash of hurt strikes his features as he looks at you sadly, typing fast.

'friends? you're fucking kidding me. y/n, we just had sex.'

"yeah, well, you've kissed me before too and expected nothing out of it, so i didn't think this was different. i didn't think you actually felt the same."

he laughs at you, shaking his head and scoffing.

'y/n, we've never just been friends and i think we both know that. have i not been clear enough? maybe i should be more obvious about it.'

he pulls you in again, kissing you deeply and picking you up, throwing you onto his shoulder. you laugh and slap his back, telling him to put you down. he doesn't though, and carries you into the players lot where his white mustang was parked. he put you down in his passenger seat, fastening your seatbelt for you and kissing your cheek again before getting into the car and driving into the city.

even after months of being together, it still takes getting used to that the two of you are actually together.

the infamous toge inumaki, or 'the fangs' had to adjust to actually being in the spotlight with his identity being revealed. he was mainly concerned for you, as you had to deal with cameras following you around as well, interrupting quality time together. however, it wouldn't stop for a while as toge was never seen smiling, let alone in public, unless you were there. he was still largely feared by the public for his behavior on the ice, even with the increased publicity of him and you together in public.

you couldn't care less, though. all you cared about was the fact that you were finally with toge. he loved your smile, and you loved how he talked late at night, nobody being able to come in between the two of you. you both never let the phone ring, and everything small about the two of you made you love him even more. he was good to you, and you wanted him more than anything in between.

thank you so much for reading!! i plan on making more parts to this, message me if you want to be on my taglist!

[00002968]

rest in peace angel 🤍

[00002968]

[00002968]

[00002968]

Blink Twice

Pairings: The Salesman x Fem!Reader

Summary: After pushing your body to the brink, it's finally giving out. You're rewarded for all your dazzling work ethic with a “nice” dinner. As ‘nice’ as ‘nice’ gets with him…

Warnings: Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Language, Coercion, Murder, Abuse, Male Manipulation, Implied Violence, Age gap, God Complex, Brainwashing, Psychopathy, Blood, Gore, Codependency, Yandere!Salesman, Stalking, Smut (+18) mdni, Handcuffs, Exhibitionism, Blood Kink, Sadomasocism, Dom!Salesman, Sub!Reader, Choking, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Blood Play, fingering, Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Sadism, Punishments, Dom/Sub Dynamics, Squirting, Fingering, Somnophilia, Period Sex, Bodily Fluids.

A/n: I'm not responsible for the media you consume

"H-How do you keep breaking into my apartment?" If it weren't for the fact that you were currently being fingered awake, you might have found it in yourself to sound more angry.

But you weren't awake, and he had taken advantage of your unconscious state just enough to bend down over your sleeping frame, and slip his hands between your legs.

You had promised yourself a quick power nap on the couch, anything that might lessen the pain that had been steadily blooming in your left arm. That nap had stolen you throughout most of the day until, here he hovers over you- the man who is undoubtedly the culprit for all this bodily pain you're in- with his fingers inside you.

“There you are, sleepy head,” His face is so close, you can see the smile wrinkling his face. His smile is bright and kind but his fingers aren't. They're stretching your cunt out, wrenching a moan from deep within you as you stare down at your hips moving off the couch.

“Fuck…” Your voice cracks as he scissors his index and middle finger inside you, still on a mission to split you apart. You drown in the scent of his cologne and his perfectly new suit- a black one today.

You throw your head back, feeling the pressure mount as you grind down against his fingers all while he watches with immense satisfaction.

“Can't- just-” you gasp when your wetness seeps out of you and onto the couch. “Can't-Do-This-” For all those moments you forget that you're nursing a sore arm. As you grind down against his ruthless fingers.

You forget that he might have seriously injured you this time.

“I couldn't help myself,” he whispers hoarsely, forcing an orgasm out of you before placing a kiss on your forehead. “You look breathtaking when you're unconscious.”

As the orgasm passes, you try to wake yourself up and become more aware of your surroundings.

Your body is shaking once he's done with you. Your cunt aches and reality sets back in. “Get out of my house.”

He straightens his tie before standing to his full height again, “You say that like I don't own the place,"

He's smiling stiffly as he stands before you, clutching that bloody briefcase, having come to collect you for another round of games...

Something inside your worn-out soul breaks at the sight of him so unfathomably fazed. You were experiencing another round of those 'realization moments'.

You have actually gone and sold yourself to a sadist.

Especially now that he's gone and done it again. After vehemently expressing that he 'please be a little more gentle with you', he insisted on pushing your body to the brink of its abilities. Toying with you and punishing you and releasing all the workings of those sick, sick, sick games on you, and for what?

It hits you more often than not these days.

A paid apartment? Paid university fees?

You try to keep your sleepy eyes unkind as you glare up at him but even you blanch at how much of a necessary force he's made himself in your life.

"And how often are you going to remind me that all my resources are tied to you?" You rise from lying supine, waiting for the world to stop spinning before you start stretching. None of your limbs protest as much as yours left shoulder that practically howls in pain. He watches you with robotic intrigue.

"I thought I should make good on that promise to take you out.”

"Take me out?" He notes the way your good shoulders tenses and smiles.

"I already said I've got no plans to kill you. You're the most fun I've had in years and years." He says "I want you to go to dinner with me."

"You wanna take your abuse victim out to dinner... looking like this?" you try to lift your arm but it protests, sending a sharp pain through your entire left side.

"I think you look rather beautiful."

"You would think this is what beauty looks like."

A tense silence falls.

"You're angry." He tilts his head, "And in pain."

You scoff venomously then, "Whomever might the culprit be?" You ask sarcastically before picking yourself up from the couch. You're cradling your arm, dragging your worn body across the floor to the adjoining kitchen.

"My fucking arm still hurts." You nearly cry as you squeeze the words out. Shooting a teary-eyed glare at your sadist from the kitchen.

"Tonight is your celebration dinner and it's way overdue." He busies himself by folding up the quilt that had been draped along your sleeping frame, "All my virtues rest on giving credit where credit is due, and you my dear..." the gaze he arrests you in is warm, and penetrative, like you were being reminded that he owns your body and soul, "-have done stellar work for me."

It's said in a wave of reverence you didn't really expect.

"Let me take you out,"

Sure he was sociopathic, and deranged, and everything you should most definitely be seeking refuge from, but the sentiment in his voice is genuine. As if, after 40 years on this earth, with the violent tendencies he had undoubtedly been born with, here is someone that's actually helping him. That's what you're doing, you're helping him. But it comes at a steep, steep price.

"You have virtues?" You ask sarcastically, causing the once intense moment to scatter and lighten.

"And your humor would be missed if I killed you. Where else would I find someone with such a stellar sense of humor and almost no sense of self preservation?" He asks aloud, as he walks towards the counter that separates you both. "You should've asked for help the first day you met me-"

"You offered to pay my shit if I played your games, who would walk away from that?”

"You should've." He smiles. "But I'm glad you didn't." His smile reaches those dead, almond eyes, "And tonight we have a celebration dinner."

"I can't go out," you say, turning your back on him to drink water.

His voice is dark when he says, "Can't or won't?"

"Can't." You slam your cup down against the sink, earning a thick wave of silence. You were never angry with him before. Never. "I think you broke something." You say, turning slowly, still cradling your arm like a baby.

There's a jarring amount of care in his voice as he rounds the counter to walk closer towards you. He examines your arm with deceptively soft eyes as he softly says, "I really did a number on you, didn't I?"

You look up at him with blank eyes, "Try not to get off thinking about it," you snip back. Sarcasm was your only weapon.

"I couldn't help myself," He rests his large hand on your arm, "you know that right?

"Y-Yes," your resolve falters and you're back to being his submissive. "I don't blame you."

"In fact." He nods along with you, conditioning you to accept his view of the events as he says, "Our session this past week had been nothing short of magical."

You're not quite sure if that was a reliable portrayal of the events but your weak mind is already fitting the memories to be so.

Somehow, you're thinking of the events with less anger: how he had snapped real, silver handcuffs on your wrists, resting them behind your back while you were being fucked from behind. It had been blissful until he pulled too hard on the left and you screamed and you blacked out.

Now here he stands before you, drenched in the afternoon sunlight, wearing a brand new black suit, smelling of fine cologne, telling you it was magical.

He came when you broke your arm.

"Alright, I'll come with you," he decides with finality, prompting you to snap out of your daze.

"No, I can go myself!" You move around him to gather your things.

"Unless you've magically obtained the ability to communicate in Korean then I suggest I come with you." He watches you race across your tiny apartment, gathering your things.

"There are English speaking doctors I'll be f-uck." As you were searching for your phone between the couch, you angered the arm, causing another wave of pain to blossom.

"I'm taking you." He stands by the doorway, "Let's go."

Your nostrils flare as the real reason for your discomfort rears its head. "B-but what if..."

You let the words die on your lips. Choosing instead to look at him, hoping your eyes relay the severity of the implications that might arise from a simple trip to the hospital. All those questions.

"Don't tell me you're worried about me." He says, still smiling.

"Worry?" You snort as you make your way to the front door where your sneakers sit, "If you go to jail who's gonna make me cum?"

He clutches at the space where a heart ought to be and says, "And here I was thinking you were falling in love with an old man like me."

"You can't love anything," you shoot back coldly.

"I can't," he confirms, "but you can."

You move away from the conversation like It's growing teeth.

"Let's just go," you mumble quietly, heading out the door, not looking back and knowing he'd follow.

𓂃

The hospital is bombarded by the smell of antiseptic and busy bodies in white coats whizzing all around you. It's dizzying actually being here as the severity if it all comes hammering down on you. You didn't like being around so many people at the best of times- even attending university everyday was met with its fair share of anxiety. Almost on instinct, you curl a little closer into his side, letting your right hand slither over his wrist. Surprisingly, he lets you.

"What should I say?" It only strikes you now that you probably should have rehearsed some script since 'I'd like to seek medical attention because I'm meeting with a homicidal sadist weekly who pays my bills and my body is finally giving out,' probably wouldn't be a good way to go.

The confidence in his stride leaves you brimming with nervousness. Your less than orthodox dynamic has already made a few passers by stare but here, inside the hospital, you feel like the only two humans to exist.

"I'll do the talking," he reassures and something inside you sighs. This is what made him such a necessary force for you. He handled way more than you ever could. He moved through the world, headstrong and in charge. He was everything you weren't.

"Good day-" he says to the nurse manning the front desk, "I'd like to get my wife treated for a possible fracture or broken bone-"

Wife.

It rings through your ears.

Meanwhile, kind eyes- genuine, human eyes- look at you from across the desk. You realize then how little contact you've had with anyone normal. Anyone real.

"Poor thing," the nurse murmurs and your heart tugs at the kindness drenched in her voice.

"Alright, Sir, it's just-" the nurse gestures towards the rest of the waiting room, "We're just busier than we usually are for a weekday so you might have to wait a while-"

"You have medical aid?" You enquire softly, letting your side bump against him. "Who the hell are you?"

He stares down the small woman as he reveals a glistening card from his wallet. She quickly looks at you before she tentatively takes the card and types away at her computer.

Somehow, up until this point you had fooled yourself into believing you were on the road to autonomy, that going to university and being a woman in her 20s away from home meant you were finally obtaining sweet sweet independence but in actuality... you were just a little girl, deluding herself into thinking the city might be kind to her. It's swallowing you whole. And you're being left to watch.

It made you aware of how completely vulnerable you had really been. You could barely afford rent, let alone something as luxurious as medical aid. For all your time in this city you tried not to get hurt because medical bills would eat you alive and here he was, whipping a card out.

"Right this way-" The little nurse moves from behind the counter, and almost immediately, you hear a distinct uproar in the waiting room behind you. "I think doctor Park will see you, but we'll first head over for X-Ray and-"

"Hey!" The sound startles you, causing your shoulders to tense as you grip on your Salesman's forearm, making sure he's still there, "We've been here for 4 hours," You meet the haggard glassy eyes of a middle aged man. He's scowling at you as if you've committed a grave murder right before him.

"I'm sorry, Sir." The nurse begins, her voice filled with concern, "This hospital is legally obligated to help out those with medical aid first-"

Shoes click against the cold floors. A shadow descends as your Salesman steps forward as if protecting you from the man's vehemence. Time stands still in the moments he makes his venomous proposition. A proposition so vile it nearly had you vomiting here all over the hospital floors.

"My wife needs a new heart-" he begins, gesturing to a woman- a ghost seated in the chairs behind him. Her skin is practically translucent as she stares off into space. "Who knows how much time we're wasting while we're being forced to wait here-"

"Are you up for a game of rock, paper, scissors by any chance?" Your salesman asks, causing your heart to sink. The man examines him as if he's grown a second head.

"If you win a single round against me, I will pay for your wife's medical treatment. New heart." At the peroration of his incredibly insensitive and evil proposition, your Salesman smiles.

"One round." He says, before his eyes snap to the woman pulling at her husband's arm.

"She doesn't look too well," The Salesman pouts and you walk up towards him, limbs shaking as you whisper-yell in his ear, feeling all your nerves being shot out of you.

"Jesus, you're fucking disgusting."

"Birds of a feather-" he whispers back, before refocusing his attention onto the man.

Meanwhile the nurse tries to pull you away but you're rooted to the floors. This whole ordeal makes you realize that you've never actually seen him interact with normal people. It makes you wonder where he goes when he's not with you. You'd almost believed that he's a fragment of your delusions, something your lonely brain cooked up to make you believe someone in this city cared about you. But he's real. And he has a life outside the two of you.

"Don't you wanna help your wife?" He continues to tempt the man, "Look at mine-" the Salesman said, gesturing to you. "She's a little battered and bruised but she's alive. You're not dying any time soon, right honey?"

You rip your eyes away from him just as your nurse returns. She places a warm arm on your forearm and in the midst of the game, she places a card in your hand. "Let's go for your x-rays,"

While they play their game, you look down at the piece of paper.

Blink twice if the man you're with is the one who assaulted you.

Call it female intuition.

You have no idea what could've led to the fact that he was the one but the nurse is watching you with a heavy gaze and bated breath. You almost drown in the concern she holds for you, a mere stranger.

In another life, you might've had a friend like her. She's relatively young, budding with youthfulness, actually. You imagine she has a boyfriend. An actual one. One who holds her bag while she's shopping. One who kisses her. These kinds of people develop empathy. The ‘fixed people’. You can tell she knows love.

“I-”

“Rock, paper, scissors-”

You blink once before looking away and the nurse sighs in relief.

"Better luck next time." You watch with bated breath as the man draws a rock to the Salesman's paper.

𓂃

An oblique fracture, they called it. The thing that's been plaguing your left arm for a week has finally been given its name. You're walking out of the doctor's office feeling light and remarkably relieved to leave this place and all its people. He walks confidently beside you, having sat through the whole ordeal. He had been there as they fashioned the pink cast over your arm and he walks beside you now, like your own personal well-dressed shadow.

On your way out, you pass by the receptionist's desk, she smiles over at you but glares at the Salesman. Just as you're about to make it out, you hear her voice.

“You said she's your wife,” the woman speaks up, causing you both to stop. “I don't see a ring.”

Cold, white, fear runs down your spine and your hand that was in his, squeezes as silence envelops you both.

“Good Day,” is all he says with an amicable smile before pulling you along.

Silence enveloped you on your taxi ride over to the Japanese restaurant comfortably situated in the Gangnam district. He had been remarkably quiet in the taxi driver over and he is remarkably quiet now as you're being led to a booth in the restaurant. It's adequately filled with its patrons. Families and couples like perhaps you two were. You wonder if he has these thoughts…

“She did make a good point,” you mumble as you take a seat in the booth, watching silently as he slips in beside you. “If you're going to be telling people I'm your wife and they don't see a ring…”

He sets his briefcase in the booth beside you both, sighing softly as he mumbles, “People don't usually marry their toys, do they?”

Before you're able to respond, a waiter walks up to your booth, having his pen and notepad at attention as he asks for your order. You watch your Salesman expertly lay down your order, everything from yakitori, to miso soup to onigiri. It's mesmerizing watching him order for you and you suspect it had the same effect on you. His hands on your thigh squeezes slightly, while you silently let him order. In a moment the waiter vanishes.

“You're so old,” you say suddenly, trying to make up for the silence and the nervousness raging through your heart. This is the first time you're out with him in a public setting and its setting you alight with worry. “I'm sure you remember when Korea was under Japanese occupation,”

“Keep making your little jokes,” he says, sipping on his complimentary water as he allows his back to rest against the seat, “And I might not be so forgiving…”

His hand rests his hand on your thigh, it's the only thing you're able to focus on. How his fingers cover so much space. The sheer size of it. The sheer size of him. You feel so completely small beside him, you almost don't realize that he's begun talking again.

“My father fought in the war when he was ‘round about your age,” that brings you clean out of your thoughts. Your eyes snap up to meet his but he's staring aimlessly ahead, as if reminiscing on something beautiful.

“Jesus I-” you swallow thickly, “That was a bloody war,”

He nods, momentarily removing his hand from your thigh to undo the buttons of his blazer.

“More than 3 million dead.” He says taking another sip.

“Right.” You nod, heart hammering when he places his hand back on your thigh. “2 million soldiers and 1 million civilians,” he places the glass back down on the table and he shakes his head slightly, twirling his index.

“Swap the numbers around.”

“Right…” you clear your throat, keeping your gaze locked on your lap, “That's... heartbreaking. I'm sorry.”

He turns his head, finally regarding you under the dimness of the hanging light fixtures. He tilts his head to the side in that way he does when he's particularly intrigued by you. “You are sorry, aren't you?”

You nod.

“But I have no idea why, you're not a Japanese fascist from the 40s.”

“No, but I have empathy.”

“Curious.” He replies back, before letting silence fall.

“Spread your legs,” he says so suddenly it gave you whiplash. Your head snaps up to him as you begin to plead.

He couldn't do this. There had to be some sort of refractory period in which he let your body recuperate.

“I’m in pain-” you grit out through your teeth, but his large hand is already seeping to the center of your closed legs, trying to pry them apart.

“Your legs work just fine.” He whispers, letting his mouth graze your ears, “Your cunt works just fine,”

You place a hand on his forearm. “The doctor said no strenuous activities.”

“Do you listen to the doctor or do you listen to me?” He asks, staring at you deep into your frightened eyes, forcing you into that liminal space of submission. Your eyes were brimming with not only fear but embarrassment.

“Spread your legs.” He whispers,

“I'm on my period,”

Another troubling moment of contemplation falls between you both and you're left to stare deep into each other's eyes as the restaurant's cultural music makes the ambience swell. It could be romantic, this energy that's festering between you two.

Even though you know it's anything but, you allow yourself to dip into those pools of delusion.

“You were fine this morning,” He says, and you note the grogginess that's begun to veneer his voice as he looks down at you.

Young, impressionable, darling you.

“I got it before we left, that's why I asked to use the bathroom again- point is,” you tug on his arm, “We can't.”

His eyes soften and for a split second, you think you see kindness there. Your gaze falls to his lips, anticipating the words they'd form.

“Spread your legs,” he says once more, before applying the necessary force to pry them apart yourself. “Let me in, Doll.”

A small whimper escapes you as you open your legs. You let him drift his hand under your skirt. His fingers are cold to the touch, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake as he inches them towards your cunt.

The second his fingers graze over your mound you gasp slightly before sitting forward with your head bowed. Your cast is behind the table as you hide your head in your hand. He watches you with heavy eyes, “It's rude to have your elbow on the table.”

“Shut up,” you mumble, trying to muffle yourself by the palm of your hand. You feel him swipe your underwear away. You feel his fingers dip into the pool of wetness at your entrance. Wetness you knew was not arousal.

“Don't look at me like that,” you mumble, staring down at the table as his fingers rub against your slick folds.

“Like what?” He asks.

In your periphery you can see him hunched over you slightly, his eyes on you and you alone. It was tiring having his attention. And so incredibly dangerous.

“Like you wanna eat me alive.”

He bends down, letting his fingers graze over your clit as he whispers, “I do. That's all I wanna do.”

The waitress returns with your food and you mumble a quiet ‘thank you,’ While your Salesman keeps his gaze locked on you.

“Grind down on my hand,” he urges and you shake your head,

“Do it.”

“Or what?” That was probably the worst thing to say to a sadist who looks like he's brimming for you to give him a reason to hurt him.

“Fuck my hand or I'll fuck you.”

You were feeling particularly stubborn today. The injury, the nurse, the hospital, the man and his wife… you're disgusted with this man beside. It dawns on you then that you have to get away from him.

“You can't do that-” you begin to whine but his voice is like steel when he reolies, “I thought we've established that there are many things I can do and very few I can't.”

All is quiet.

“Fuck my hand or I'll fuck you, I've been dying to play in your blood.”

You're still wrestling with either of your options, trying to outweigh the good against the bad was impossible when both choices just seemed bad. It puts you at an unfair disadvantage and you are drowning.

“W-Wait-”

“Times up.” He mumbles before removing his hand from your underwear. You're utterly horrified to find it stained in crimson.

He calls over the waiter, at least having the decency to hide his bloody hand behind your back as he politely says, “My wife is quite sick, could I be pointed to the bathroom, please?” He sounds so amicable, so deceptively kind, of course the waitress quietly urges the two of you to the bathrooms nestled at the back of the resturant.

“I'll do it-” you breath heavile as he urges you past tables, “I'll do just-”

“You picked too late," he whispers in your ear as he steers you into the female bathrooms. “Disqualified.” He says before pushing you into a sta. You could only thank your lucky stars that the stalls are empty but that is where you luck runs dry.

It's only you and your monster who's fervently unzipping his pants before locking you both in a cubicle.

“My arm hurts-” you begin but he turns you around, pushing your back against the door.

“Your cunt still works.” He repeats, “I didn't get to drive a knife into it the last time-” he whispers hoarsely as he plays drunken kisses all across your collarbone. You hate to admit how dizzying the effect of his kisses are. How they carry you off into a completely different mental state- where everything becomes morally grey. You felt like you could get off to almost anything in this state and so you don't bat an eye when he says, “I need to see your blood on my cock,”

In fact, you moan, trying to find your bearings as you slip so far into subspace. “You're not allowed to pass out on me-” he says, manically, breathing oh so heavily as he pulls his cock out over his slacks. “I'm not even using any of our favorite toys, you do not get to pass out.” He warns before slotting himself between your legs.

“W-wait- pull your pants all the way down, otherwise-” you hiccup, “I'll make a mess.”

A deep and low groan reverberates through his chest and you watch him lower his pants all the way down, revealing sculpted legs before he brings his cock to your cunt. It's wet enough to allow him to slide in smoothly, and he looks down between you, pressing down on your tummy as he watches your blood soak his cock.

“Here taste your blood,” He's prying your teeth open and you let him. Crimson floods your mouth and you moan around his fingers. There's a manic sort of edge to his laugh as he admits, “I’m not gonna last quick.” before he's kisses you deeply, grinding himself into you

“Fuck- you're filthy.” His eyes are absolutely insane as he drives his cock into you setting an unforgiving ppace. He snaps his hips against you, trying to drive his cock in further and further.

“Cum- I'm gonna cum-” He pulls back to urge, just as you hear someone walk into the bathroom. He's breathing heavily, surprisingly being mindful of your cast as he dips his hand down to your cunt. His fingers drag across the blood like it's the most fascinating thing on earth, and that has you cunt tightening around him.

A toilet flush, just as a whimper seeps through your lips. Your eyes are squeezed shut as you take his brutal fucking, watching him stab your cunt with his cock like he's daring himself to break you.

You place a hand on your mouth, muffling your violent cries as you buck your hips against him. Your own period pains that were flooding your system is beng fucked away. Your thighs and his pelvis are absolutely stained in crimson and his eyes are rolled back. Thankfully, the door opens and closes and you are alone once again.

“I love playing in your blood-” his voice cracks. Meanwhile, he's using you like a ragdoll. Through it all, you manage to ask the question plaguing your mind.

“Did he…” You moan, squeezing your eyes shut as the tip of his cock grazes your cervix, “Did your dad make it back?”

He rears his teeth, smiling in that twisted way that was far different from the smiles he gave everyone else. Only you got to see him like this. “Yes, Doll, he did.”

“W-What happened to him-oh god-” he picks up his pace grabbing your hips and pulling your cunt down on his cock.

“I killed him.” His eyes roll back into his skull and your mouth falls open. His cum floods your system and in that same moment his pelvis grazes along your clit, triggering your orgasm. You cum with tears in your eyes and it fills you with unmistakable dread.

If this man was capable of ending someone in his own bloodline, who were you in his eyes? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

“Don't look so scared.” He whispers, still grunting as he emptied himself inside you, “He was useless. You- you're not useless.”

He kisses your face. Everywhere he can.

“You look like you're about to have a panic attack. Compose yourself.”

You breathe in thickly.

In and out.

In and out.

[00002968]

[00002968]

[00002968]

im sorry but this is the craziest thing ive read today ??

yes the beauty industry sucks but like ?? girl be a better friend to these people 😭 insecurities don’t stop just like that

[00002968]

tired girl core

[00002968]

my bf hasn’t texted me in 2 days i think it’s over

[00002968]

“english isn’t my first langua—“ say no more.

[00002968]

[00002968]

𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑤𝑛𝑒𝑟

[00002968]

[00002968]

he won’t answer me