veeeffvee - Tumblr blog

[veeeffvee]

Far worse, in my opinion, than the famous “he wouldn’t fucking say that” is “he WOULD fucking say that, as part of his facade, but you seem to think he would mean it genuinely”

[veeeffvee]

[veeeffvee]

I know this sounds super specific but I want you to draw teen Francis/Frances blowing a bubblegum bubble lol (ghost and pals)

You're right that is weirdly specific

In fact I can't help but notice that other people have gotten this request too

[veeeffvee]

.

I'm still angry.

They were so fucking rude to me too, somehow even worse than how you'd treat a stranger.

You think you know someone huh.

[veeeffvee]

Heya Vee. I've been really stressed lately, and reading that I'm not alone in feeling negative kinda helped me a bit? Anyway, this isn't about me, I wanted to ask if you're doing alright.

Well NOW I'm not doing alright, I'm fucking irate that someone just up and forgot about my entire existence.

We roleplayed together, man. They were my beta reader for a bunch of the GHOST fanfics I had written years ago, including COLOR-TV. I trusted them enough to basically hold my song hostage until they got it done. And they fucking forgot about me and everything we've done together.

This shit fucking sucks, and I'm beyond upset. All that time I spent waiting, not wanting to push their boundaries out of respect, and they FORGOT about me.

What a piece of shit.

But anyway, sorry to hear that you're not doing too well either. I hope things get better on your end, because I'm just. Having a time. Wanting desperately to break something in anger right now. But I'll eventually get over it... hopefully.

[veeeffvee]

Well this is just peachy.

Guys, way before I started working on those O.C songs I mentioned, I had been working on this super secret song that I was dying to show you all. The music, the lyrics, and the mixing have been done for years---all I needed were the vocals. It's a full length song.

I had a friend that had the Vocaloid I needed for this song, and we got to work on it. Then life kept getting in the way, and this kept them from working on the song. Which I understood, you know? I didn't want to pester them, so I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

I would occasionally pop in to ask how they were doing, but and sometimes they would give me an update. I waited some more.

And waited.

And waited.

They switched accounts, they switched Discords, and life kept getting in the way so we stopped talking as much.

Long story short, I asked them about the song today after a while, and they just. Completely forgot about me? I've literally been deleted from their memory somehow. And they didn't know what song I was talking about. The song files don't exist anymore on their computer.

All that waiting, all for the sake of being polite, for absolutely fucking nothing.

I guess the moral of the story is: pester the people you're working with. You never know just how fucking awful they are at keeping promises.

I'm gonna be completely transparent, I'm just gonna pirate the Vocaloid at this point. I'm so fucking done. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of this song not being done, I just want to get it done and move on with my life.

Fuck me man.

[veeeffvee]

I have so much unreleased music guys. Like I had been secretly making music for two years and it was only until PHR0NTISTERY when I actually started posting the stuff I've made, with that technically being my eighth song

The problem is that all the unreleased music is about my O.Cs, so I can't really post them without talking about my O.Cs, which is just... ughhh I don't wanna I hate my O.Cs but I want this music out there 😭

[veeeffvee]

woaj

I completely forgot I drew these two days ago.

I haven't drawn anything chrisken after the whole saturn thing. Here you go chrisken nation, get fed.

[veeeffvee]

Literally anyone else in the world: Christopher, no-

Christopher, grinning dangerously: Christopher, YES.

GHOST: Christopher, no.

Christopher, scoffing: Christopher, maybe...

You: Christopher, n-

Christopher: *stops and drops everything immediately* Christopher, no.

As much of a horrible person and absolute monster he is, you are the only person he respects and loves and would never even think about hurting.

Lmaooo I've tamed him guys >:D

Look at me, I've tamed the big bad Distortionist~ <3

[veeeffvee]

Ahhh it's them!!!! :D

Thank you so much for this! I just love seeing them together, it makes me so inexplicably happy lmao

Aye, @veeeffvee , drew something for you!

[veeeffvee]

You are so so so kind and sweet... I appreciate all of your lovely words and well wishes so much. I just do not have the ability to properly express it, I do not know how.

Things on my part are super complicated as usual, there is no way for me to even grasp the extent of it. A portion of it I could sum up with: my mental and overall health has not been good these past several months, my disabilities / mental and chronic illnesses have gotten worse, everything is super exhausting and draining, I barely have the strength/energy/executive functioning to manage simple everyday tasks (even those I tend to procrastinate on quite badly) and as a result of that I have not been taking very proper care of myself lately, which then of course results in my state getting even worse, and the cycle continues. I really want to get better and get out of this recent slump but it is hard and I am so tired.

I just feel like I would need a complete break from the entire world for at least a couple of months + sleep at least for 1 year straight, you know? Do you ever feel that way too? Pardon me for assuming, but I just have this feeling that you would probably understand.

I am sorry for dumping all of that on you, forgive me. I hope it does burden or stress you out too much, but if so, please tell me. I just felt the need to give a little bit of context/explanation.

Though, on the other hand.. All of that only makes me appreciate, cherish and treasure your kindness and sweetness all the more. Thank you with my whole heart, Vee. <333

Also, I wanted to say this a lot sooner, but in regards to the tags you left on the second-to-last ask I sent in (probably from the beginning of April, if I remember correctly?)... I cannot tell you how much it has warmed my heart to hear that you consider me a friend. 🥺🥹😭 It is SUCH an honour, seriously!! It means so so so much to me and I do not know how to thank you enough. Please know that I treasure every single interaction we have, as well as you as a person, and if you are okay with it, I consider you my friend too. <3

You are such a lovely person, even if you may not feel that way about yourself, and I am grateful that I made the (really bold for my timid ass, lol) decision to begin sending you asks back in August when I started getting into G&P.

Again, thank you for being my friend, and just for being so kind and lovely and for being yourself. ❤️❤️❤️

I wish you nothing but the absolute best, from the bottom of my heart.

(The Shy & Awkward & Anxious Anon)

Yeah, I can understand that feeling of wanting to put life itself on pause, I totally feel that whenever I'm overwhelmed. Specifically for me, I'd like to stop being "me" for a while, you know? To stop being "Vee." To stop being "[irl name]" and just be someone else for a day or a week or a year. I can get a bit of that whenever I'm writing a character but it's not quite what I want lmao. I think you maybe just need to lose yourself in some hobby, like really get into the zone while doing something. But ahh I'm not an expert on this stuff, I just wanna help however I can haha

By the way, you don't have to explain yourself to me or justify not messaging me for a while, especially if you don't actually want to. Life just gets in the way sometimes, I totally get it! And it certainly doesn't get any easier as you get older lmao, so I understand. Although I do appreciate a little check-in now and then just to make sure you're still okay ;v;

And let me just say that it's been a pleasure to be your friend. I really do enjoy your kind messages, and it's just nice in general to be able to talk to you (even though it's in this ask/answer format lmao)

I hope things get better for you soon, because it makes me sad to hear that you're struggling. Please don't give up, because I believe in you. :>

[veeeffvee]

Hello, Vee. I have been wanting to come back and re-connect with you for a while now, I am sorry I have not. Things have just been really busy and exhausting and hard for me lately (even though "lately" in this case is more than 7 months now), and time flies by way too fast. I really want to keep in regular touch with you though, and there is a lot of things I would love to share with you in the near future.

However! The most important thing and main reason I am sending you this ask is that I want to congratulate you on officially graduating college! Huge congratulations, Vee!!! That is absolutely incredible and I am so happy for you and so beyond proud of you. 🥳💖💖💖

I hope that now you are finally free from all the college-related things, you are planning on enjoying yourself, doing the things that you love and that bring you joy, and especially on getting plenty of rest. You more than deserve it.

(The Shy & Awkward & Anxious Anon)

Hey anxious anon, thanks!!! :D And I don't mind that you haven't sent an ask in a while, so don't worry about keeping in touch if you're busy, I totally understand. I still enjoy hearing from you whenever you happen to have the time to message me, and I always look forward to the next one :>

And yeah, I sure am glad that college is finally over! I'll try to take better care of myself now that I have the time, although the stress of getting a job is still there lmao

I hope you're taking care of yourself too, and I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through something. Please hang in there, because I'm rooting for you ^^

[veeeffvee]

i found a tiny little kendall sitting in my files and figured you might appreciate him

Kendall!!! :D

Thank you for this I will hold him very gently

[veeeffvee]

bro I found your ao3 account and my jaw dropped through the floor, through the earth, out the center and out the other side, before falling through the sun at 600,000,000 mph and detonating the sun

Is this an insult or a compliment

[veeeffvee]

hiii I hope this doesn't seem creepy but your voice is really pretty and I kinda wish I sounded like that aaaaahhhh

:O ...

Wow, I sure wasn't expecting a compliment like this lmao. But thank you! That means a lot, since I really don't like my voice myself, haha. I'm glad you enjoy it though, that makes me feel a bit better about it 😅

[veeeffvee]

Fun fact: that whole hand rant in the fanfic I just posted was taken almost word-for-word from a rant my sister made a couple years ago (don't worry I asked permission to use it lmao)

Hey good material is good material and I refuse to let it go to waste ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don't have a particular appreciation for hands, but my sister does! It's the perfect opportunity to utilize a perspective I don't fully understand! It's called being resourceful!

[veeeffvee]

before you ship something stop and ask yourself... Is this otp material? Make sure your characters are:

Obstinate and inflexible in their actions

Terrible for each other in most circumstances

Poor communicators