the-bloody-sadist - Tumblr blog

[the-bloody-sadist]

Are you normal about irl gay men or do you sexualize/reduce them down to being 'yaoi'?

Yes actually when I see myself in the mirror I do, in fact, reduce myself down to "doomed yaoi", thank you for the 100 plus IQ question

[the-bloody-sadist]

Hi, it's been a while - I haven't looked at anything bsd related in a while (besides just reading the last chapter of the sinner epilogue) because it's not one of my current fixations, but I wondered if I could hear more from you about emotions? Recently my brain has been rotten by a love of computers and robots and maths and physics and I have been obsessively consuming all versions of I have no mouth and I must scream (have you heard of it? If not, ihnmaims is a short sci-fi story written by Harlan Ellison about an AI, AM, torturing the last 5 humans). The relationship between Ted and AM is fascinating to me, especially in terms of what 'emotions' AM feels towards him, and it reminded me of something that I think you wrote about how intertwined hate and love are - how hate is to care enough about a person to want their suffering and pain (I'm not entirely sure if that was you, forgive me if I'm wrong-). I'll spare you my ramblings about the story itself unless you are interested in hearing more, but I am very curious about your perspective on a being who was created for war, gained sentience and immense power and intelligence but will never be free, will never belong, will never play Mozart on the ivory keys of a fortepiano... a being who cannot feel in a way we can conceive but is driven by hatred, who craves humanity or release yet cannot die, who has no mouth but must scream.

There is a point where AM invades Ted's mind, ramming The Hate Monologue in the form of a steel pillar into his mind - some of the lines in this section make me go a little bit feral - "AM touched me in every way I had ever been touched, and devised new ways, at his leisure, there inside my mind."

It's incredibly intrusive, and for Ted there is no escape from AM - it's physical machinery covers the entire planet and the humans live within it, it's 'belly slaves'. As AM cannot die it keeps them alive, pretty much immortal (but not indestructible) and in the end, Ted too has no mouth though he must scream.

It's a fascinating mix of hatred, envy, deification, love (?), hope, resignation, invasion, co-dependence, wires and viscera that can never mix or understand each other but are the same in every way.

Apologies for the rambling infodump (especially if you have already read it/have absolutely no interest in this sort of thing - this isn't a rec, just my putrefied brain matter leaking into your ask box), I should really be asleep right now so I would not be surprised if this is entirely incomprehensible.... I just want to study them under an electron microscope.... It's a very grim story, with a powerful sense of the indomitable human spirit but very grim nonetheless. The hyperfixation is hyperfixating....

Anyway I should shut up, and I would love to hear your thoughts (I don't even know what I was intending this ask to be .. I can't remember now but I don't think it was .. this..) and thank you for putting up with this mess of a message- hope you have a lovely day/night!

- 🪼

P.S. oh yes! I loved the last chapter of sinner's epilogue- your writing never fails pluck my heartstrings like.. a very strange surgeon (?)(I'm so sorry I am very tired)(I have no brain and I must sleep...) I adore how you write Fyodor's experience of emotion and (as always) Dazai's fear and panic-

Okay listen, I don't plan to get into this story (I've watched essay videos on it so I do know about it, at least), but I respect how much time you took describing this to me in my asks box, so I'm putting it out for anyone else who might find it cool!

Despite my love for psychological trauma, some stories are a certain flavor that I know I shouldn't get into, and IHNMAIMS belongs in that category. Pretty sure if I read it it'll haunt me for the rest of my life and I'll have to deal with a big depressive episode over it for the weeks after, WHICH IS NEVER FUN.

This and other reasons are why I never read A Little Life, and then I learned that I dodged a bullet by putting the book down on the first instance of Jude's cutting episodes, BECAUSE OH MY GOD DUDE THAT STORY DID NOT HANDLE IT THE WAY I NEEDED IT TO BE HANDLED AND I COULD SMELL WHERE THE STORY WAS GONNA GO WITH IT AND TAPPED OUT. I won't get into the frustration of A Little Life but IHNMAIMS felt like it would be that same level of too much grim, not enough plot?? for me. Does that make sense? Too much bad happening just feels like dragging myself through mud without reason, making myself miserable by enduring hours of hurt-no-comfort LMAO

Regardless, thanks for talking to me about it! I knew most of the details of the story, but it was entertaining to read your description of it--I'm glad you find such interest in the story!

ALSO THANKS FOR THE COMPLIMENTS ON THE NEWEST SINNER EPILOGUE, I'M ACTUALLY WRITING YET ANOTHER ONE CURRENTLY...AHAHA....THEY NEVER STOP....we'll see how long it takes me since my writing has been out of touch with me for a while, but fingers crossed! <3

[the-bloody-sadist]

Drawing this one made me so emotional. I just love how attentive Damen was in realizing Laurent was fighting with himself in that moment.

I had far too much free time on my hand this week, so I kept going. I wanted to try a cleaner way of drawing a comic page this time. The more rougher "coloring" style worked great for the fight scenes, but I wasn't sure about it for emotional ones... even if it did, I really like to try things out and see what happens.

[the-bloody-sadist]

This is why I loved that movie Only Lovers Left Alive, both vampires had the proper amount of experience and wisdom for collecting different currencies and saving it, but they lived in very meager conditions and it made the whole tone of the movie unique. There was no nobility fighting each other for control, just one guy who makes weird rock music with a band longing for a friend who wouldn’t die and one woman on the other side of he world enjoying the beauty of human culture who missed him and wanted to see him again.

And the vibe is so grunge, too, I love it.

Not to mention it’s Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston, so that’s crazy

why are vampires always so ridiculously wealthy? I get generational money, but that shit has gotta run out. Give me a vampire who works the overnight shift at the seedy diner who can’t make rent. A nighttime security guard who’s leeching off a string of girlfriends. Casino vampires?? There’s no windows around. The possibilities, come on. Where are the crummy vampires living their shitty lives?

[the-bloody-sadist]

Working on an old project 🧍‍♂️

[the-bloody-sadist]

Not a question, but I just wanted to compliment your art!! I love everything about it!! The expressions, the anatomy, everything is awesome!! Keep it up!! 🩷

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Oh my god I genuinely forgot to answer the poor asks that have been in my inbox for so long until you sent this one 🧍‍♂️ THANKS FOR REMINDING ME I HAVE AN ASK BOX…..MUCH LOVE 🖤

[the-bloody-sadist]

kiss

[the-bloody-sadist]

I found an interesting thread on twitter about how fandom puts the well- being of fictional characters above that of actual abuse victims and I wanted to share it cause some of y'all really need to read

[the-bloody-sadist]

Uncensored on Twitter (gunplay hurk hurk)

[the-bloody-sadist]

Mori’s playing with sharp objects ✂️💉(full ver on Patreon)

[the-bloody-sadist]

A character who's been shot is captured by enemies/bad guys. They're bleeding badly, and their captors need them alive. The bullet is removed, and the wound is poured with alcohol and bandaged tightly - none of it is done gently, and, being tied up (and maybe gagged), they can do nothing but scream and cry out in pain while enduring the rough treatment.

[the-bloody-sadist]

Working on the next HC undress, but for now, I had a WuLian idea 🚶‍♂️calamity Xie Lian making Wu Ming take off his mask….🧍‍♂️forcing him to show his wounds after a battle….🧎‍♂️AUUHHHH

[the-bloody-sadist]

Whump Art 9

Whumpee is safe, but terrified of his rescuers, or maybe he's still with Whumper, who is trying to be a better person, but Whumpee can't forget all the things Whumper did to him so easily.

[the-bloody-sadist]

I just wanted to redraw that one Genshin scene as Wriochi 🚶‍♂️

[the-bloody-sadist]

STRIP GAME STARTED OVER ON TWITTER! IF YOU SAW MY HUALIAN SKETCHES WITH BOTTOM HC AND YOU WANT MORE YOU CAN HOP OVER HERE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE GAME!! (I don’t play very conventionally with strip games so XL will get involved very soon)

REBLOGS MUCH APPRECIATED HERE AS WELL!! I don’t have much of the fandom in my audience yet!!

The Twitter post

[the-bloody-sadist]

Forgot to post my skk doodle from Twitter 🧍‍♂️

[the-bloody-sadist]

i can no longer be touched without remembering how you touched me

-eleos