#this took me like 2-3 weeks I think and like 3 different programs

[maareyas]

a little animation I made as my contribution to the Kaleidoscopic Absolution @silverfanzine! [Go download it for FREE here!]

I think he should be allowed to just chill and let time pass by :^]

[apathyfairy]

being a kid was thinking surely being an adult can’t be that bad but i just spent 2 and a half hours on a thursday morning trying to install a new antivirus on my laptop and now i either have to kill myself or go out and spend 7 dollars on coffee to cope

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 4/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 14.5, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22, PART 23, PART 24, PART 25, PART 26

More on the siblings' program.

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Lucifer stifled a chuckle as he observed his brother's expression. If only Michael knew that Lucifer had already been informed of his impending demise. He's more shocked that Heaven might be the cause of his death.

Heaven's really keen on killing him, huh.

Lucifer: I'm immortal! You're being ridiculous.

Michael: And you're being a fool! These threads just made a divine move. This had never happened before!

Lucifer: Then why tell me, huh?! Last I checked, you and Heaven could barely give a rat's ass about whether or not I'm still alive.

Michael: Because believe it or not, I do still care about you! You're my little brother, Samael!

Lucifer: I said my name is L̴͎̭̥͎͊̀u̷̧̨̟̻͓͗̍c̷̢̪̱̄̀̊̎̀͝ì̷̘͚̰̖̦̱f̴̻̮̲̮͈͈͑̓̃̃̊e̸̫̒͑͒͊͗͆r̸̨̤̀̂̚͝ͅͅ!

Sue him if he couldn't control the fiery words that erupted from his mouth. Michael always had a knack for provoking him, intentionally or not.

Lucifer: And you have a funny way of showing it. Did you know that the Fall almost killed us?! Lily and I had to lay there, surrounded by darkness, bodies so burnt we couldn't move for weeks.

Despite the looming threat posed by the King of Hell, Michael refuses to back down. Instead, he straightens his posture and closes the distance between them, showing the unwavering protector of Heaven that he is.

Michael: You don't understand! I- it was such a hard decision! It was the best option! I'm Heaven's protector and-

Lucifer: You were my protector too!

The Archangel was taken aback, a rare moment of vulnerability revealing itself in his features. Lucifer, observing this reaction, knows he has struck a chord. Despite Michael's claims of caring for his family, it's evident that Heaven had, and always has been his top priority.

Michael thinks about a lot of things too. Like how everything would've turned out different if he was never given this duty- this purpose.

Michael: They were going to kill you.

Lucifer couldn't remember the last time he had heard his brother speak to him with such softness.

Michael: Your original punishment was death. They wanted you killed. By my blade. We begged them to reconsider. You should've seen it-

The warrior of Heaven laughs wetly.

Michael: -the Archangels of Heaven, on their knees in front of people other than our Lord. It took so many meetings for them to relent. That's why you and Lilith spent a long time held in the Garden.

Lucifer: Shut up.

Michael: So, I'm really sorry that we let you down.

Lucifer: Shut up, Michael.

His brother once again composed himself, his gaze turning cold as it met Lucifer's.

Michael: But if I had the chance to go back, I would do it all over again.

Of course. Heaven always comes first.

Lucifer: You should've killed me when you had the chance. And now you think you can beat me at my own game?

He attempts to crush the thread still held in his hand, its glow resembling the purest gold. It seems to almost be trying to talk to him, to reason with him like Michael every time they meet. But it all sounds like mockery to his ears.

He hates it.

Lucifer lets out a manic laugh.

Lucifer: Divine move? Divine move? You think you have any moves at all?!

He begins to yell at the threads.

Lucifer: Maybe then, Heaven could've killed that weak, naive angel. But me? ME?! Ì̶̢̤̉'̵͙͕͑M̷̱͋̀ ̵̬͌T̴̥͠͝H̸̫́̑E̶̳̠̐̎ ̴̠̣̎̐D̷̼̕E̵̢̳͆V̶̳̩̉̋Ì̶̬L̴̥̗̾ ̴̮͝F̸̝̓̀Ų̸̠͗̑C̵͚͗K̷̺̚̚I̵̠̋̕Ň̸͎͈G̵̘̔ ̵̤͛I̸̩͐N̷̥̰̋C̸͓̒̍A̴̙̓R̵͍͛N̴̤͎͠A̵͇̟̓Ṯ̴̯͊Ḙ̴͑̇,̴̰͆̑ ̵̤́ͅÝ̴̙̫̈́O̵͚͐͒U̵̙͂ ̷̱̆͜͝Ċ̸͍̌Á̷̰́N̸͉̈'̶͇̎͂T̵̠̒ ̶͖́K̶̛̲̮̆I̸͎̘͐̃L̴̟̙̔̿L̴̜̾͊ ̶̱̥̌M̵̳̕E̵͈̯͋́!

Lucifer's disguise falters, his emotions resonating through his disguise as his golden hair reverts back to the darkness Roo had cursed him with.

The threads began humming. Were they afraid of them? Of him? That's funny, Fate itself, afraid of him? He wonders if even Death would tremble in his presence.

Michael splutters in disbelief at the sight of Lucifer's transformed appearance.

Michael: Lucifer—what? Why do you look like that? What did you-

The younger doesn't grace his brother with an answer or allow him to finish. Instead, he summons Keekee once more and swiftly opens a portal back to Hell.

Lucifer: Don't worry, Mika. I won't die that easily because I'll be there to watch Heaven fall.

Nothing matters. Not his brother's shouts of concern, not the short thread, not Roo's cryptic words. What matters is Charlie and her future.

He'll defy Fate if he has to.

-----------------------------------------------

Michael slumps on a chair in exhaustion after Lucifer left. He fears for the worst of Heaven and his brother's fates.

He grabs an orb from his pocket dimension and starts to recite and incantation to call his siblings. He knows he should tell the others, to discuss The Fates, Heaven, and Sa-Lucifer. Lucifer who is clearly hiding something.

But he hesitates.

'Knowing them, they would go down to Hell to confront Lucifer and it might just make things worse with their little brother than it already is. '

Before he could make a decision, there's a loud crash from beyond the door.

Michael: Hello?

He vaguely hears shushing on the other side and a bit of arguing. Slowly, he approaches the door. He grabs the knob and swings it open swiftly.

Michael: Gabriel, I told you not to-

Michael stops in surprise as he stares at his eavesdroppers. One lets out a squeak while the other saluted him.

'A young Seraph and a winner?'

Emily: Archangel Michael! We-uh- we can explain!

Sir Pentious: Your Heavenly Grace!

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A Shameless and Teen Wolf reference??

I miss season 3b. Nogitsune Stiles was the best villain to come out of that show.

Edited some stuff! Moved a few dialogues

[killmongerskeepermain]

Prompt Request: Hiii Can you maybe write a Shuri x fem!reader smut with prompts 3, 5 and 6? Where Shuri was busy in the lab for some time so they didn’t have sex for a while and Shuri just comes to her and fucks her brains out in the middle of the day because she was finally done with whatever she was doing. And omfg if you can write vibranium strap!Shuri it would be amazing Thank you <3

Smut #3: “I want you now”

Smut #5: “You can get louder can’t you”

Smut #6: “Don’t cum yet”

To say you were pinning for the princess was an understatement. You have been busy with meetings and conferences. She's been in the lab for the past 2 weeks with her head buried in her work. You wished she was buried between your thighs instead. You've used your own fingers but it's not the same. You squeezed your legs together before letting a sigh leave your lips. Maybe a shower would take it down a notch. You got up and grabbed your things before walking to the bathroom. You draped your towel over your neck as you turned in the water, feeling for the right temperature. 

Back in the lab the princess was feeling every bit of sexual tension within her. She has to finish this sequence or else Okoye's new suit won't be complete. She'd be lying if she said she didn't miss you. The both of you have been too busy to be with each other. Shuri in her lab and you with the Wakanda outreach program. When she saw you this morning it took everything in her being not to take you right then and there. She found herself thinking about the way you would whimper when she buried her fingers deep inside you. How easily you take her. She ran a hand over her face and grabbed a random chain from the sequence and placed it towards the bottom. She had to clear her thoughts of you before the wet spot in her boy shorts got bigger. Her eyes widened when she saw the link change from white to green and she clapped her hands. "Finally! Grio print it!" She said walking out of the lab. 

You climbed out of the shower with the towel wrapped around you with a frown. You tried to ease the throbbing sensation between your legs but it's still there even though you came. You made your way to the dresser before the door to your bedroom opened. You jumped at the intrusion ready to tell off whoever it was until you turned to see Shuri.

"Princess? Is there something wrong?" She stares at you and takes a couple of long strides before her lips find yours. You were taken by surprise but didn't question her when her hands cupped your cheeks. The kiss was everything but slow. Heated. Passionate. Impatient. Her tongue pushed against your lip and you sighed to allow her access. Your hands left your towel, letting the fabric fall to the floor. She pulled away to look you over before taking her bottom lip between her teeth. 

"I want you now." Her lips wasted no time latching onto your neck as you fisted the dress she wore. She nudged you backwards until your back hit the bed. Her lips never left yours as she sat up on her knees lifting your leg over her hip. Her hand slipped between the two of you, sliding over your folds with ease due to your arousal. You bucked into her hand as she circled your clit with a slow pace. It didn't take long for her to slip two fingers inside you. You let your head fall onto the pillow as she rubbed against your walls. It felt like it's been too long since you were under her like this. Your stomach tightened in knots and you wiggled your hips, signaling you were close to your release. 

"Don't cum yet." Not being able to hold back the whine when she chuckled as she pulled her wet fingers out of you. She brought her hand up your face and you opened your mouth to suck on her digits. "Fuck me." She reached for the dresser and you licked your lips in anticipation as you knew what was coming. She slid the strap you two would use but this one looks different. It's bigger. She must have noticed your face expression as she let out a laugh. 

"It's a new one I cooked up in the lab. I feel whatever it feels. You'll be fine I promise. Now turn around and bend over." She commanded and you pushed your chest into the mattress while putting your hands behind your back. Her hands ran over the curve of your ass as she glided the tip over your folds. She buried inside you and you let out a groan into the pillow. 

"Fuck. So tight for me." She moaned out as she slowly started thrusting her hips. The blasted thing was amazing. She could feel the way you clenched down on the strap while she fucked you. Her hand came down to grab hold of your wrists while you moaned into the pillow. "Come on you can get louder can't you." She pushed further into you and you lost yourselves in the pleasure as she sped up her pace. Chasing the release you both so craved. Her head fell back and you felt the coil inside you snap. The feeling of you releasing on the strap sent her over the edge and she stilled behind you. She slowly pulled out of you letting your juices trickle down your thighs. She rubbed her finger over your thigh, catching some of it before putting her digit in her mouth. 

"Delicious. Just as I remember." She grinned as she slowly turned you over. "Care to give me one more?"

[tragicxensemble]

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One More Chance (At Love) (Pt.1/?)

Slowburn Mark Sloan x Reader x George O'Malley

TW/CW: Mentions of medical terms and just overall Grey's anatomy gore, social anxiety/ anxiousness, Christina being passive-aggressive to the reader of you squint, Love triangle, jump cuts

Disclaimer/Summary:

‼️ SEASON 2 SPOILERS!! ‼️

AJ's a new intern at Seattle Grace Hospital and the niece of Miranda Bailey. She has an average reputation and never heard of 'McSteamy' a.k.a Mark Sloan upon moving to Seattle and working at Seattle Grace. Not understanding the hype around him nor falling for his charm, he ends up falling first and hard because he thinks she's "hard to get". He tries his best to flirt with her but to no avail, because she never picks up on any of those social cues to realize that he has been flirting with her the entire time because of her being neurodivergent (specifically AuDHD). Besides Mark, there's also someone else who has been eyeing AJ since they met.

Ps: This is mostly a self-insert but you can still read and enjoy this!! It's been a while since I've made a fic and I think it's time for a fresh start :). This takes place in mid-season 2 (specifically episode 9, a month before the Thanksgiving part of the episode starts then jumpcuts to the events of the Thanksgiving episode) to around the end of season 3. There are a lot of jump cuts in this fic and rhe reader is black

Wc: 3.4k

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@spexialvixtimxunit @verytalented

Seattle Grace Hospital. A hospital filled with opportunities and so much drama that it could be a full-course meal. That is, of course, if you're interested in having surgeries and nonstop sleepless nights on the menu. If so, then sign me up. Having the opportunity to work in the same hospital as my Aunt was a blessing and a curse. She knew that I was studying to become a surgeon, but what she didn't know was that I would be working in the same hospital as her. The other interns around me called her 'The Nazi' but I simply called her Auntie Mandy.

No one knew that she was my aunt so they had no room to treat me differently because of my association with her. I deserved to be in that surgical program just as much as they did. I worked my ass off to become a well-respected doctor, not a punching bag for bottomless insults. So, my strategy to survive the internship came in 3 easy rules. A guide that I follow every day.

1. Befriend the Nurses.

This step was relatively easy. I'm always kind to everyone I meet unless they give me a reason to be mean. Plus, I would hate to get stuck on doing rectal exams or sutures for hours on end just because I pissed a nurse off. They're human beings just like me and deserve equal respect because it took them years of med school to get to where they are.

2. Keep to myself and only speak when spoken to (a.k.a practically become invisible to almost everyone unless I'm given instructions to complete a task.)

Now, this step is a relatively difficult one to follow. I have no clue who I will encounter upon being on Auntie Mandy's service and they would make my experience at SG unpredictable. I won't let them get to know me upon surface-level things about me. It's too risky for them to find out even the smallest incriminating detail about me. I'll just have to wait for the right moment to tell anyone that Bailey is my Aunt.

And lastly, my most hated rule.

3. NEVER unmask, unless necessary.

Masking in itself is extremely difficult. If I show any sign of my neurodivergence to neurotypicals who don't understand what it's like to hide parts of yourself every day 24/7, I'm looking at weeks of being a laughing stock and judged by everyone. Even though this is a possibility, the road to being a surgeon is never easy for anyone.

So, with that being said you would say that I have 3 impossible rules to follow. I would have to try my absolute hardest to not expose myself but also to be on top of my game in this program if I want to make it in the real surgical world.

-------

My alarm rings at the ripe time of 5 am. I had to be at the hospital by 7:00 am before 7:30 am rounds started and before I could officially be assigned to my resident. I knew before today that I was going to be assigned to Auntie Mandy because of the letter in the mail a few weeks ago declaring my official internship and transfer to Seattle Grace. As well as what day I would start working. Transferring hospitals is like transferring schools, you have to start all over again in a new place. New environment. With completely new people. People who are already used to each other and probably friends with each other. Whereas I'm the new kid, the outcast. The kid that sits alone during lunch while everyone has already created their cliques.

I took a few deep breaths before getting out of bed to stop myself from becoming anxious at the thought of all the wrong outcomes that could happen. I made sure to pack comfort snacks the night before and an emergency meltdown/overstimulation bag that consisted of earplugs, a few small but effective fidget toys, compactable noise-canceling headphones, and an mp3 player that has my comfort songs on speed dial. I made my bed, as I usually do to start my morning. Following up on that, I meditated and did yoga for an hour and a half. It's a way to calm and ground myself before I tackle whatever the day brings me.

I did my morning routine and skin care before heading back to my room, to change into my outfit.

By this time it was already 6:40 am. I had enough time to spare to moisturize my locs and bring a scrunchie with me so that I could put my hair up when needed at work. I made sure to grab my messenger bag and my snacks for the long shift and promptly left my apartment at 6:50 am. The drive to work was roughly 15 minutes but ended up being 20 minutes with traffic. I didn't live far away from the hospital, which was alright in my opinion. I arrived there at 7:05 am and began to park. After I parked and got out of the car, a motorcyclist drove up loud and parked 2 spots away from me.

Right in the middle of my car and the motorcycle came another car with 2 women and a guy who I'd assume knew the female motorcyclist because the group of 4 joined each other and I began walking into the building behind them. Mid-walk, another guy joins the group after what I'd assume was his morning jog. He was huffing and saying something I couldn't make out because of me keeping my distance from them so that they wouldn't assume that I was following them even though I was. I had no freaking clue on where anything in this ginormous hospital was. Sure I had a tour of the hospital but it's so easy to forget the layout when I've only been in it once.

While we waited for the elevator I quietly said, "Excuse me," as I tapped the shoulder of a brown-haired guy with cute doe eyes. He stopped talking with the blonde-haired woman and turned to face me. "I'm sorry, but could you help direct me to the surgical locker room? I'm not entirely sure where it is." As I was speaking the rest of the group turned to look at me, which was not intimidating in any way. (Yes it was.) "Yeah sure, We're actually on our way there." says the doe-eyed guy. "I'm George O'Malley by the way, that's Izzie Stevens, Alex Karev, Meredith Grey, and Christina Yang. We're all surgical interns." George introduced the names to the faces of everyone and I hoped for the best that I could remember their names.

"Oh, I'm AJ. AJ Brown. I'm also an intern here. It's my first day." I spoke. "What! That's cool, we could show you around sometime!" Izzie said as the elevator dinged. I nodded and followed their lead and got on the elevator with them, standing near the back of it. I listened as they talked about how their mornings went. The elevator stopped at the second floor. After making a few turns into the corridors, we finally made it to the locker room.

"What's your locker number?" Meredith asked as she began to walk to her locker. "Uh, it's G - 23," I responded as I looked around at my surroundings. Everyone was already getting changed. "Oh, nice you have a locker next to me!" Izzie smiled. The digital clock on the wall read 7:15 am, there was enough time to change into my scrubs and have my pager and stethoscope ready. As I was putting my shoes on Meredith spoke to me, "So, AJ, where are you from?" She asked as she closed her locker door. "Oh, I'm from a small town in Illinois," I answered. "What's a city girl like you doing all the way here in rainy ol' Seattle? Besides to work here?" Alex chimed in, "Family, stuff." I spoke shortly, in hopes of ending the conversation.

"That's nice that you can be near family here. Also, who's service are you on?" Izzie asked. "I have Dr. Bailey," I spoke as I stood up while closing my locker. "Awesome, she has the Nazi too." Christina deadpanned as they all began to finish up. "Christina, be nice!" Meredith nudged Christina's arm and tried her best to whisper that to her but failed. "We can show you where she is today." The group leaves the locker room and I trail behind them to find my Aunt.

We head to the elevator and we make it to the third floor, where we come to a spacious waiting area and a front desk that I'd assume contained charts and other important patient information. Among the crowd of people walking around stood Auntie Mandy, writing in a chart binder at the front desk. "Good morning Dr. Bailey." They all said one by one, before George spoke, "I think we have a new intern with us that's on your service." That sparked her to look up from the chart. "New intern? What new intern?" She said almost with an attitude. They all miraculously parted like the Red Sea to reveal my presence to her.

"Well, I'll be damned! If it isn't AJ!" Bailey replied with a smile before running up to hug me, which shocked the group as if they had never seen her act sweet towards anyone. She released me from her grasp and said, "I had no idea they were assigning you to my service! How's your mom? I know everyone must miss me back there in Illinois." Bailey chirped. I hesitated and replied shortly, "Everyone's fine and they do." I laughed awkwardly. "Wait? How do you know Dr. Bailey and how does she know you?" Christina asked, answering the burning question that was floating around in everyone's head.

"She's-" Before Dr. Bailey could finish her sentence our pagers went off. Talk about being saved by the bell. Or beep in this case. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in as we all began to follow Bailey's orders on where to be assigned. George ended up being the one to be my guide for the day as I helped him with patients and got used to doing checkups and filling out charts for a few hours. After that, Bailey assigned George to teach me how to run labs and work on sutures in the pit, as well as prescribing actual medicine to the patients. Before I knew it, it was lunchtime.

"Hey, would you like to have lunch with me? I'm usually with everyone because we all eat together sometimes." George asked softly as we headed to the cafeteria I assumed. "Uh, sure." I agreed. I brought a simple lunch with me, a turkey sandwich, apple slices, and carrots. While George offered to buy me apple juice. As I began to sit down next to George, Christina let out a loud groan and said lowly to herself, "Why did George invite someone we barely know to lunch, it's like she's his pet or something." This time Merideth kicked Christina's leg under the table, which caused her to verbally say 'ow' in response.

Upon hearing that comment, before I could start eating I got up and excused myself by saying, "I think left my pager in my locker. I'm gonna go get it." I grabbed all of my things and left immediately, what did I expect from a bunch of strangers? I found an empty hallway with abandoned beds and I ate in silence.

George's POV

AJ grabbed her things and speed walked away. Christina scoffed and spoke, "Looks like she ran off to go find her mommy, Dr. Bailey," Everyone let out laughs at Christina's 'joke' if you even call it that. "Enough!" I yelled as I slammed my hands on the table, "She has been nothing but nice to you guys and this is how you treat her on her first day? People deserve chances and you guys never even gave her that option to one." I grabbed the rest of my lunch and stormed off in hopes of finding AJ, before hearing out what everyone was going to say to my brief speech.

AJ's POV

I was almost done eating my lunch when I heard a familiar voice say, "There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" It was George. What a relief. "You have?" I said as I finished the last of my apple slices before I threw away the remaining trash. "Look, I'm sorry that they were mean to you, they don't like new people coming into their space." George apologized before he sat somewhat next to me. "You don't have to apologize for them George, it's not your place to apologize for them." I feigned a smile to try to reassure him.

"Sometimes they make fun of me too. And I wonder if they're my friends or if I'm convincing myself that they are," George confessed. "Well, can you be yourself when you're around them?" I questioned. George didn't answer. "If you have to think about it for a long time then maybe you should reconsider if they are your friends. Real friends don't make fun of you for being you. They appreciate your uniqueness and don't judge you." I declared. "It seems like you're a friend expert." I laughed a little at his comment. "I've had a lot of friends but never kept any of them so I know what it's like." I spoke truthfully, "Thanks for the lunch, George." I thanked him before I walked away once again.

-----

By that evening, my hands and feet were tired from walking and constantly talking to all the people. I desperately needed time to recharge my social battery because I could feel myself starting to get overstimulated. The lights were starting to get too bright and the bustling noise could make anyone go insane. I had a few minutes to myself in the on-call room so I spent it playing with my Tangle fidget toy and listening to a playlist of my favorite Michael Jackson songs in the dark while lying down on one of the beds on the bottom bunk. Needless to say, I ended up falling asleep for a good hour before I faintly heard the door open.

"AJ, wake up, Dr. Bailey needed me to find you," George said as he tapped my shoulder in an attempt to wake me. I groaned before sitting up on my elbows and glaring at him for waking me up, "I'm sorry to wake you but she needs more hands in the pit." He confessed which caused me to roll my eyes. I nodded before shoving my MP3 player and fidget toy down in my lab coat pocket. I put my shoes back on while George watched and we both headed out to the pit together.

Only a few more hours to go.

------

My first 12-hour shift was finally over. The aching in my feet was beyond compare even though I had comfortable shoes on made for walking. I went back to the locker room to change and I found myself left with a few people and George changing near me. "Are you autistic? I mean, if you are that's okay with me. I won't tell the others if you don't want to tell them so that they don't make fun of you. I'm not saying that they will but they can be mean sometimes. Well, not Izzie. Wait no, Izzie can be mean sometimes but not in-" I just stared at him until he finished rambling.

"Sorry, that was rude. I didn't mean to assume or anything. It's just that I-" George began again before I stopped him. This must have been on his mind all day. "Yes, I'm autistic and I have Adhd as well. And I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone because I don't want any attention on me about it. People will treat me differently." I shrugged it off to George as I grabbed my bag. "Can I ask why?" George said as he sat down on the bench. "Why what?" I replied, not looking at him. "Why don't you want to tell anyone?" I let out a huff and closed the locker before I faced him.

"This is breaking my rules," I mumbled, "Rules? What do you mean?" There was confusion in his voice but I could hear that he wanted to understand. "Ever since I was a kid, I always knew that I was different. I never had a lot of friends growing up and I never was invited to birthday parties because of how people treated me for being different. I don't normally spill my life to people I just met but I feel like I can trust you. I've been judged about my diagnosis of AuDHD. There's no point in trying to be myself when I can be what people expect me to be."

"But doesn't that get tiring? Having to mask all the time?" He asked and I nodded quickly. "It's hard to get a break and for people to not stare at me when I stim and fidget," I said disappointingly, "But what do I expect?" I shrugged it off and began to make my way to the door. "It's hard being myself in a room full of people who don't get you, but thanks anyway for trying to understand George, have a good night."

And with that, I once again walked away. It's becoming a habit now.

------

(A month later, at the start of episode 9)

------

Izzie had invited me over to help cook and decorate the house for Thanksgiving. I wore a simple outfit, a black long sleeve with denim jeans and black Converse. My favorite brand of shoes.

When I arrived I was greeted by Izzie rushing to get me inside. "I need you to get George for me, he's upstairs and he's supposed to be helping me cook but he hasn't left his room yet," Izzie said frantically. "Oh, okay. Um. Where exactly is his room? I've never been here before." I said while taking off my leather jacket and Izzie hanging it up for me.

"It's up the stairs, down the hall, and to the right." I listened to her directions and I reached George's room. I gently knocked on the door and waited for a reply. "Come in!" George said from the other side. I carefully opened it and saw him fully clothed on his bed with his eyes shut. "Why are you just lying on your bed?" I spoke as I closed his door behind me. He quickly opened his eyes, not knowing it was me.

"AJ! I- when did you get here?" He hurried and sat up to look at me. "I got here just now, not too long ago. You know Izzie wants you downstairs to help right?" I sat down on the end of his bed before he plopped back down with a huff. "I know but I'm afraid to go out there." I quirked a brow, "Afraid? Why would you be afraid?" As I said that he held his hands up and began counting down from 10. A thunderous noise arose from downstairs, and just when he reached zero, 3 men barged into his and screamed, "O'Malley!!"

Startled by the sudden noise, I looked at George for an answer. "Because of that." George huffed again. "Georgie, since when did you have a girlfriend? And she's hot too." I was taken aback at the man's comment. "C'mon, you know Georgie never gets laid," George rolled his eyes before getting up, trying to hide his embarrassment from me. "Please ignore my idiotic brothers," He began to go to his closet and grab camo wear. "Where are you going? Aren't you going to help Izzie?" There was desperation in those chocolate-brown eyes of his, and just when he was about to explain himself the older man chimed in and said, "Our Georgie is gonna kill his first turkey this year, I can feel it!"

"Dad you know Georgie isn't gonna kill a turkey, he never does." His eldest brother spoke, "No, he's gonna chicken out like how he usually does-" "Shut up!" George says while his brothers laugh, his face turning as red as a tomato now. "I'll be back as soon as I can to help. I promise I won't miss dinner." George tells me as he puts on his beanie and I thought he couldn't look any cuter. "Well, you better tell Izzie that," I scoffed as his family began to drag him out of the room chanting 'O'Malley' over and over again until they were down the stairs and out of the door.

"I don't think they're coming back any time soon." Izzie whined, "I hope he doesn't actually kill a bird."

---

[studentbyday]

week 1 / small commitments challenge

Summary: I was not focused on my challenge goals this week. I was preoccupied, thinking about the different paths I could take and weighing my options for the next couple of years. Not a bad thing, except I let the thinking invade every moment of my life I had to myself. That includes when I was supposed to be studying ochem and when I was supposed to be sleeping and when I was supposed to just be getting on with my day and doing mindless self-care stuff as quickly as possible so I can dedicate time to what's urgent. Yes, I needed to weigh my options and gather information across multiple days, but I did not have to go about it the way I did. It led to me becoming overtired and having difficulty sleeping which led to me being unable to get through my ochem goals which prevented me from doing anything else. The more tired I became as the week progressed, the worse it got. So my two new priorities for next week are: No. 1: Get enough sleep with a consistent sleep time (9pm be in bed, 10pm at the latest) and wake time (7am ideal but 8am bare minimum). Soothe yourself until you're calm enough to sleep. Like you would a baby (e.g. swaddle, massage/gentle touch, dark room, don't voluntarily subject yourself to anything stressful or overstimulating in the half hour before bed). That's how you stop and keep out of the overtired cycle. No. 2: Lots of meditation throughout the day! 5-10 mins when I wake up, minimum of 10-15 mins before bed (unless perhaps i feel less frazzled thanks to the meditation breaks which help me stay focused throughout the day? idk), and 1-2 minutes in between big tasks (those that take 2h or more) in order to reset my mind before I move onto the next task and give my brain a rest after processing lots of info on a deep level, so it can sustain that level of activity throughout the day and the rest of the week. I'm hoping that by prioritizing rest, I can succeed at my new study routine (which has also changed from last week as my priorities have changed...yet again) and work more efficiently and quickly while staying cool in mind! A chaotic breakdown of the week aka my sleep-deprived end-of-day gibberish where I try to make sense of everything that's happened lies below 😅

Monday: sleep deprived -> slow start to the day -> quite behind schedule. i listened to 1 and a half chemistry lectures, added to the notes from last week, read and annotated 1 of the 2 sets of notes i'm supposed to read this week, and answered all except 4 questions of a practice quiz on last week's material. asides from this, i did 1/3 of an Algebra 1 lesson, took a nap, and practiced driving.

Tuesday: later start than yesterday bc i wanted to get enough sleep. overall worth it, but that meant there wasn't enough time to get everything done and there were lots of distractions to field. i only did ochem and practiced driving today. i didn't even finish all the ochem i wanted to (i finished 1.5 lectures again, added to notes, started reading the second set of notes for this week, and answered 1/4 of the questions for 1 of 2 assignments for this week). i'm still trying to find a routine that works for this subiect bc it's really condensed (most weeks cover 2 lengthy modules at once 😭) and it's not a subject that's that easy to feel confident in just right off the bat...at least for me 😅 who knows, perhaps for the time being, i'll have to spend more than 4 hours on it a day until i feel confident in the fundamentals?? i also have lots to improve on in my lecture notetaking skills (i.e. trust my memory more and write down notes only AFTER i finish watching a lecture instead of attempting to write notes DURING the lecture and getting confused -> rewinding)

Wednesday: my problem this week is that i'm very distracted. still trying to figure out which path is best for me (i.e. to transfer uni or change program within my uni if that's possible...definitely probably shouldn't stick with my current program tho, that's one thing i've pretty much decided), asking around, doing my own research, trying to think of any combo of reasonable options i haven't explored yet (this is what i was doing for a lot of today). i really hate unresolved issues. they stick around in my head until it's resolved and even if i'm not actively thinking about it, i can still feel its presence in the back of my mind (and if it's big and concerning enough, it will keep bugging me at inconvenient intervals)! 😤 and this issue will stay unresolved until i have made a decision. and even then, i might still question it until enough time passes to show me that it was the right decision 😅 it's like...either i'm in "re-assess" mode aka "question every decision i have made and could make and predict to the best of my knowledge where it will lead me and do i like where it leads me?" mode (WHICH CANNOT ALL BE ANSWERED IN ONE SITTING SO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SCHEDULE THIS?!?! 😵‍💫😫), or "put your head down and do the work" mode wherein i'm in danger of losing sight of the bigger picture. i swing from one to the other whenever smth happens to make me realize i've stayed too long in one mode. (like in this case where i was feeling very annoyed with my current lifestyle, finally decided to say "fuck it" to my strong desire to stay within my comfort zone, and explored other options and their pros and cons which included grad school admission requirements 🤦🏻‍♀️). i'm grateful to have this many options, but today i got so overwhelmed by them and the deadlines by which i need to have made a decision and the fact that there's a lot of ochem this week to do which is more urgent but also not as existentially worrying that i decided to rid myself of the mounting anxiety with a cardio abs workout. 🥵😮‍💨😮‍💨 it worked...but now i am so pooped and don't wanna get up 😅 (update: i did get up and did a little more ochem)

Thursday: too tired to do all the ochem i wanted to (i did a little reading, a little bit of lecture watching, and finished the last 3 Qs on 1 of 2 assignments this week). i keep letting myself get overtired with my overthinking against my better judgment (like, especially after an intense workout the day before??? girl, you need to sleep!!!). anyway, i've finally pretty much decided to just switch programs at my current uni but i don't think i'll really believe i've made the decision (objectively! all on my own! using a weighted pros and cons list! 😁) until the end of this week. 😅 it will still be a more rigorous program, although not in the ways i expected (but still good!), and it will challenge me in all the right ways but i won't rack up as much expense (thank goodness! 🙏🏻) and it will be a shorter commute and i will get to spend more time with family which is just such a relief. i don't want to fall into the rat race mentality, tho sometimes i think i need to. but perhaps that's just FOMO and comparing myself against others in an unhealthy way. like, i don't actually want a rat-race/hustle culture type of life for myself if i have the option not to live one, yet i sometimes feel like i need to be a completely different person living a completely different lifestyle in order to really make it in this society...well, there are many ways to skin a cat.

Friday: ochem lab, watching another lecture, reading the ch, working on ochem assignment, and driving.

Weekend: sleepy. reset routine and family time. finishing up ochem submissions for this past week (done is better than perfect! 😤) and driving.

[yeehawbvby]

Falling Away With You | Ch. 44*

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Magnus... prepares you for your date.. I guess.

Author’s Note: WE’RE BACK BABYYYYYY

Thanks so much to everyone for being so patient during my hiatus!! I definitely needed some time to just slow down a bit (and to reiterate from my recent update, things still will be slow! But the time off was nice), and I really appreciate the kindness and support in that decision :3 It means so much to me, I wish I could better express it to y’all.

I hope that this is a good chapter for jumping back into things! I did my best to recap the past few chapters a little bit for those of you who need a small refresher, as well as incorporate a small time skip (like, 2 weeks tops).

If you're not into that, I hope the smut makes up for it <3

As always, I hope you enjoy, and I’d love to hear your thoughts! x Also, please see the comments for another author's note once you finish reading this chapter ^^

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Prev (if you want to skip my Author Updates(tm), go straight to chapter 40!) | Next

Seb had first seen magic as something spooky and surreal. Nothing more than a new and weird thing that fuzzied up the lines between the fiction he took comfort in, and the burdens of reality. It was a completely understandable take for him to have felt that way, and I had been surprised that he was so chill about introducing it back into his life through me! 

That said, I thought he’d still keep it to a minimum. 

But!!!

Ever since our visit to Magnus a few weeks ago — again, a visit that held the intention of Seb merely becoming a little reacquainted with the arcane, as we’d both expected him to keep his involvement small — learning magic has morphed into a bit of a passion project for him. A means to become as badass as his magic-wielding OCs and shit. It’s rad as hell. Kinda hot too. I dunno what it is about magic, but it does things to me, dude.

When Seb isn’t programming, and we aren’t spending time alone together, he’s now enthusiastically re-familiarizing himself with his rusty arcane skill set as well as indulging in some new knowledge. And likewise, when I’m not farming, taking care of Cannoli, or spending time with either of my partners alone, I’m honing my rapidly-increasing skills as a mage.

The necklace Welwick gave me has been working wonders for my abilities. Like, I now have that sixth-sense Magnus vaguely talks about from time-to-time, for when something magical is nearby. That could just be a result of my growth as a mage in general, but I think it’s more fun to imagine this little trinket siphoning a bunch of cool shit into me.

Also, clairvoyance doesn’t come to me so randomly anymore, aside from the occasional flash of something in my head! It’s getting a bit easier to tell the difference between dreams and a distant reality during my sleep, too. Similarly to… well, fucking everything else related to magic, I guess, it’s sort of a gut-feeling above all else.

This nifty little thing has also allowed me to practice my psychicism in the way that Magnus always had to resort to. For him to predict the future, he must conduct a spell and perform a weird ritual of sorts. He saves it for when things feel “off,” like when I moved to Pelican town… and for when he gets eager, and wants to know something right then and there. Like when he predicted when I’d be coming over to drink that nasty-ass potion that all but confirmed I’m a mage.

The process requires copious amounts of mana – another reason why he so rarely does it. But because of the extra help from my necklace, as well as my seemingly natural talent as an oracle that I’m assuming Grandpa passed down to me in some way, it doesn’t drain me nearly as much as other spellcasters of my skill level. Even Magnus and Camilla seem to get a bit more nauseated by the process than I do.

Throughout all this, all things romantic have been settling in too; things have gotten much more cozy. At the start of this journey in a polycule of sorts, the concept of openly loving two people in the same room was nothing short of intimidating. Now, it’s as natural as breathing. And while I wouldn’t say it seems like Seb and Magnus are becoming intimate with one another, they’ve definitely been spending more time alone, which makes me happy. Reassures me a bit as well. It’s a nice reminder that I’m not some sort of… I dunno. A selfish hussy. Or something. This concept still feels novel to me in some ways.

Both of my lovers are vague about what happens during their one-on-one meetings. Can’t tell if something’s going on, or if they just know the concept intrigues me, and they agreed to fuck with me a bit. Y’know, get my imagination going, for funsies. I mean, Seb’s crush on the older wizard is still as strong as ever, so I’m secretly hoping that they’re preparing to do some canoodling of their own.

I wish I knew what was going on in those pretty heads of theirs… seems as though mind-reading just isn’t gonna be a thing for me.

Whatever. I’m not bitter.

(Yes I am.)

Speaking of canoodling – I’m headed to Magnus’ place in a few minutes. It’ll be the first time we’ve been alone together in our past few meetings, since Seb can’t make it until later. The poor, emo cave goblin was up working until early this morning. Magnus apparently wants to take me somewhere new today, so it kinda works out, I guess!

After my usual morning routine of farming (the pumpkins feel like they’re taking forever to grow in, but they’re almost there!) and eating, I quickly showered, dried my hair, tossed on some light makeup, and dressed myself. I went for an almost-ankle length, dark and rusty orange, pleated skirt; a cozy and thick, cream-colored, mock neck sweater; and a big, olive-green ribbon to thread around my half-up hairdo. It’s getting to the point in autumn where it basically feels like winter, so I should be safe from sweating too much in all this. 

Once I’ve grabbed my satchel and a jacket to complete the look, I make my way outside. The first thing I do upon exiting the building is remember that I haven’t checked the mail yet. I probably should, just in case Magnus or Lewis have anything important for me… ugh. 

Unable to resist, I go out of my way a bit first, stomping on some leaves that have blown over from all the trees surrounding my land. Cannoli, who has been outside most of the morning, runs over to join in. I scoop him up with an evil chuckle while he’s distracted. 

“Gotcha, punk.”

He meows at me, seemingly pissed, but then purrs after I pat a few smooches onto his head. I hold the little fella in both arms as I open my mailbox with outstretched fingertips. I grab its contents, nudge it shut with my elbow, and sit on the stoop to read what I’ve gotten, with Cannoli staying put in my lap.

“One from Lewis…” I rip it open. “S’just about Spirit’s Eve, nothing major,” I mumble to myself as I shuffle through the envelopes. “Some Joja shit… gross.” I scoff and tear that one in half as Cannoli abandons me, giving me some more space to work with. 

The next letter is in a bright blue envelope with deep purple stars outlining it, each twinkling as though electrically or magically lit. I would normally assume based on the fancy casing that this is from Magnus, but it isn’t labeled, which tells me otherwise. I don’t really sense anything, y’know, magicky about it either. Weird. 

I stand up and go inside, tossing the Joja ads in the trash and before plopping the rest of my mail onto the table. I sit down and cautiously open the blue one, not wanting to damage the pretty stationary too much. Now that it’s in my hand on its own, I can feel that there’s something other than writing inside of it.

The paper itself is blue, this one lighter and more vivid than the envelope. The ink is a deep indigo and the words look like they were written with a sparkly gel pen. And beneath it all is a tiny, gold-painted walnut, still in its shell.

That doesn’t seem very safe to eat. I toss it across the room to the small waste bin between my bedside table and the door, hoping I make the shot. It lands in with a satisfying plink. 

Alex Mullner could never ball like this. He’d weep – no, he’d propose – had he seen such skill!

…Gross. I don’t want that. 

After shimmying that thought away, I turn back to the azure note. It reads:

“We can do great things, you and I.

Forage a rainbow shell and leave it in the train station Lost and Found box if you’re interested. I’ll make it worth your while.

I’m counting on you, kid.”

It’s not even signed by anyone… This is ominous as hell. Part of me wants to ignore it, but I’m also kinda scared not to, y’know? What if something bad happens if I don’t comply or find a way to respond? I mean, this person knows where I live, and is likely keeping things anonymous for a reason. 

Or… it could be some sorta creepy jape by Sam or something, and I’m overthinking as per usual.

I’ll think about that more later… for now, I just wanna get to my purple-haired boyfriend.

I shuffle through the rest of the mail once more to double check that nothing is too urgent before heading back outside.

_______________

“Oy,” I call out as I enter Magnus’ tower, immediately turning my gaze toward the coat rack instead of looking for him. “Where—“ As I adjust my line of sight, I find Magnus just a few feet away, a cheeky glare on his face directed towards me as he waters his houseplants. “Oh.” I blush, embarrassed by how annoying my loud intrusion was. “Hi.”

Magnus doesn’t seem to mind. He chuckles, places down his watering can, and strides over to greet me. “Good morning, my heart.” 

That pet name never fails to get me all tingly, oh my goodness. 

Before I can tippy-toe to indicate that I wanna kiss him, he’s already bending down to my level and scooping my face into his hands. I match the action, cupping his rosy cheeks. Unexpectedly, Magnus kisses me hard, causing me to stumble back against the door. 

“Mmf!” I squeak into the kiss before meeting his intensity. Makes him smile. 

He doesn’t show any signs of wanting to stop, our teeth tapping together a bit as he continues to intertwine our lips and tongues while we find a compatible rhythm. Releasing a palm from my cheek, Magnus grips the door frame behind me before dragging his opposing palm further from my face, weaving his fingers in the hair near my nape. The action prompts a dreamy hum from me. 

Yoba. I want him. 

As the wizard begins to kiss down my jaw and onto what little neck I have showing, I breathily murmur, “What about those plans you had for us?”

“You needn’t worry about that,” he mumbles against my earlobe, taking his hand away from my hair to lower the collar of my sweater. “We have plenty of time.”

He eagerly dives back down, leaving light kisses and love bites on my neck. My hands weave into his amethyst tresses as I giggle. The sound comes out airy; in contrast, a syrupy laugh escapes Magnus and vibrates against my skin.

“Mag–” A harder suck that’ll definitely leave a darker mark just below my jaw cuts me off. “Ah~” 

Smirking against my skin, Magnus prompts, “Go on.” 

God, he sounds so smug. It’s so sexy. I subtly shake my head and roll my eyes, a smile never leaving my face. “Nevermind,” I whisper, bringing his mouth back to mine. 

Magnus lifts me up in one swift motion as he accepts my affection, carrying me away from the entrance bridal-style. I open one of my eyes to take a peek at where we’re going. As I do so, he pulls away to watch his step while we descend to the basement.

“What’re we doing down here?” I ask, knowing this could go one of two ways:

Either Magnus is teasing the shit out of me, and he’s taking me to his hall of portals so we can go… wherever; or, he simply decided he wanted to get frisky somewhere other than his bedroom.

“You’re a smart girl,” he answers as he nudges the door open with his foot. His irises are like rubies. “I’m sure you’ve pieced it together already.”

“Maybe I just want some confirmation.”

“Maybe you need to practice patience, my dear,” Magnus teases back.

“Maybe I’m just not a patient person, my dear.” Hm… feels weird to call him something other than Magnus or wizard. I don’t hate it, though.

I drown the tinglies in my tummy by hoisting myself a bit higher with the help of Magnus’ sturdy shoulders, leaving a few open-mouthed kisses on his neck. The action prompts goosebumps across his skin. 

“Heheh–” I begin to evilly laugh at his reaction, but Magnus releases me from his grip, scaring the everliving shit out of me. “Ack!” He catches me mid-air using magic, allowing me to settle myself down without getting hurt. I glare at him the entire time, pretending my heart isn’t beating a bajillion times per minute. “That wasn’t nice,” I chirp with my brows furrowed, barely above a whisper. 

It’s Magnus’ turn for a menacing chuckle as he leads me to the couch where I usually do my studies; the one closest to the western wall of the room.

“I thought you would enjoy the thrill.”

“Clearly you know nothing about me, wiz.” 

Magnus’ eyes — which had shifted to their natural maroon again by the end of our short journey — are crimson once more. As we slow to a halt in front of the sofa, the absolute skyscraper of a man cages me in, his hands clutching the purple back piece of the furniture and forcing me to stumble into a sitting position. Wide-eyed and with heat creeping between my thighs, I lean back and look up at my partner. 

Then, a sadistic, almost lazy grin creeps across his features while he leans down, moving his hands to grip my sides once his previous stance probably grew uncomfy. He’s almost entirely crouching to level with me. 

“I know more than you realize,” he points out. Ominous.

I fidget with my long sleeves as Magnus’ lips draw closer to my ear, his breath on my neck and face sending a shiver down my spine. 

His hands slide lower while he kisses just below my earlobe, before continuing, “How many people out there, at this very moment, can say they know precisely what makes you squirm?” His voice is low and gravelly, and he punctuates his sentence by squeezing my hips hard, pulling a sigh from me. Proving his point with ease.

This prick actually waits a moment for me to answer his question, his head still hovering closely next to mine. “Well?” 

It takes me a sec to register any form of language until I blink out of my horny fog and respond, “I mean… not many, I guess.” My brain has kinda just blocked out any sexual partners I had prior to Seb and Magnus, given none of them could hold a candle to these men.

The elemental grows quieter as he proceeds, “Alright. And how many can claim they’ve known you far prior to your present lifetime?” His hands drag off my hips, now resting on the red velvet cushions. 

The cockiness, greediness, and complete possessiveness of his follow-up makes me shudder. Has me choking back embarrassing sounds and stuff. Makes it hard to speak.

“J-just you.” 

“Veeery good.” Yoba, so much praise… my poor kinky heart can’t take this. “In that case–” Magnus brings his face to my view, and manually tilts my head by the chin. After drawing closer, he whispers against my quivering lips, “I’d say on the basis of those two factors alone that I know you better than most, wouldn’t you agree?”

I inhale shakily. He grins knowingly. “Yes…” I could barely hear my own voice. It’s as if Magnus has me under a spell… but he doesn’t this time. He’s just that captivating.

Mirroring my volume – fucking tease – he lilts, “Good girl.” Then, he pulls away, leaving me yearning for more kisses.

Fuck.

Standing upright, he puts out his palm for me to take. My head feels swimmy as I oblige without question, and he replaces my spot, urging me to try to straddle him. Doesn’t work. Skirt’s too long.

“Um… hold on…” 

I get up from the half-kneeling position I was in and simply remove the skirt altogether. Magnus chuckles as I struggle to find more words, feeling the hot redness of my cheeks spread down my neck. Why do I feel so shy right now? 

Beaming with his brows raised, he claims, “How bold of you.”

“What else was I gonna do?” I quip. It came out meeker than I’d wanted it to, but Magnus pays no mind to that. 

He shrugs, taking both my hands in his as I settle back onto his lap. His erection is apparent now that I’m sitting on it. Mmmmm. 

“I merely assumed you would roll up the fabric.” 

I close my eyes and lean forward further to rest in defeat against his silk, navy button-down, before copying his shrug. He has a good point. 

Magnus, sensing my unease, exhales jovially through his nose, before reassuring me, “Worry not, dear.” After unweaving our fingers, he wraps his arms around my waist. “Your haste is more than welcome.”

I grip the fabric of his shirt in both fists and groan into it. “T’still embarrassing though…” I complain, my voice muffled by the fabric.

Magnus moves his hands, now cupping my ass in each one. “Let me shift your mind away from that, then,” he purrs above my ear. 

I tilt my head so that my face isn’t being consumed by his chest anymore. “How the fuck are you so smooth?”

“I don’t necessarily mean to be.”

It makes sense, I guess. He’s been around for a thousand – or two, or whatever it is – years. He’s had more than enough practice. “Of course not…” 

I sigh. Then, I slip just under his face, leaving featherlight pecks along his jawline. He giggles a bit. “That tickles…”

“Yeah?” 

My instinctive laughter comes out menacing and gremlin-like. I attack him with more little kisses, paired with ten wiggly fingers against his sides. And oh boy, I’ve never heard such high pitched or loud noises come from this man.

“C-cease yourself!” 

“Never!” I proclaim, nearly cackling at this point. I’ve never seen him laugh this hard, and god, it’s fucking adorable. 

I keep myself planted atop him and do my best to dodge his swats towards me as he lays himself down, keeling over. Magnus lets out a snort that puts down my guard for a moment, and before I know it, he’s finally grappling my wrists, taking claim of them on either side of his face. The action pulls me down, bumping my forehead into his.

Magnus winces while I let out a quick and half-assed “Ouch!” before laughing a little more. I rest my face in the crevice between his head and our arms to recuperate. I gotta breathe oh my god and my abs hurt. 

When I come back up, Magnus is giving me sort of a funny look. Like, he’s still blushing (eyes included) and smiling, but I feel like I’ve never seen this exact expression before. 

“What?”

His lips curl up further before shaking his head slightly and answering, “I… your laughter is so beautiful.” My eyes widen a little, as does my smile. “I love you so much. Come here.” 

As the words leave his mouth and before I have a chance to verbally return the sentiment, he’s removing his hold on my wrists and tugging me into a deep, slow, and much more passionate kiss than the almost-feral ones we shared upstairs. It still leaves my tummy fluttering and my heart racing just as hastily. 

Once we grow a little more heated, I find myself accidentally grinding against Magnus’ arousal a bit; and once Magnus realizes it as well, his hands find refuge on my butt again, aiding my movements.

Sucks how that weird potion I drank to become a mage made me more athletic and cardiovascularly healthy, but it didn’t actually fix any of my joint issues. Even just this gentle rocking with my legs spread out this wide is making my hips cramp up a bit.

“Sore?” My partner murmurs into the kiss.

“How’d you know?”

“T’was a gut feeling.”

“That sure is a fancy way of saying you were in my head again.”

“Damn.” He breaks, an amused huff escaping him. “I almost fooled you.”

I sit up and very lightly punch his chest a few times. Asserting my dominance, for sure. 

After a few hits, I glare down at him, palms pressed against his chest. Magnus glares up at me, thumbs tracing small circles against my sides. He scans my body as he gnaws his lower lip.

This is hot.

He eventually speaks up, his orbs red as can be. “Are you finished throwing your little tantrum?” His usually sweet tone was replaced by something still honeyed, but more gravelly and domineering.

That was hotter. Fuck.

I swallow thickly and nod, subconsciously stimming with one of the lower buttons on his top. “Yeah.” 

His eyes drink in my body again. “Perfect.” Next, Magnus tugs me by my hips, giving me a little lift to bypass his arms as he all but plants me on his fucking face.

“What are you–” He cuts me off with a bite to my inner thigh. A heady sigh leaves me. 

With his pupils blown wide, he suggests, “This is surely easier on your hips given how much less you need to stretch them, no?”

“I-I guess.” I hide the lower half of my face in some of my hair. I feel so vulnerable. In a good way, but still. I don’t think I’ve ever ridden someone’s face before. I voice this concern into his brain, too timid to say it out loud.

Magnus repositions our forms slightly, giving his neck more comfort as he lets his head lay down flat against the cushion, with a little room to spare between his scalp and the arm of the sofa. I peer back at his legs. His left is dangling off the opposite end of the couch and probably bumping into the bookshelf a bit, while the right is planted on the floor beneath us.

“Would you like to try?” The wizard finally asks as I bring my gaze back to his.

I take a sec to contemplate it. On one hand, I feel weird being so exposed. On the other… How is this really any different from being eaten out while I’m laying down? Some fingers of my left hand are twirling a soft strand of Magnus’ hair. Those on my right are still tangled in my own (h/c) tresses, which continue giving my mouth and chin some privacy. 

Despite the need to stim out my nerves, I still nod my answer to him.

After being given the OK, Magnus begins to softly kiss my inner thigh. In between, he orders, “If you want to stop, let me know.”

“‘Kay,” I smile. 

Gently, Magnus tugs my panties to the side and lowers me down. After a single, lingering kiss to my lower lips that’s already got my head feeling funny, he spreads me open and licks a gentle, pointed-tongued circle around my bud. I’m instantly turned to putty, it’s a little embarrassing actually. The small grip that I had on his hair tightens, and I rock slightly into Magnus’ proud hum, accidentally throwing him off-track. I shyly meet his view to apologize to him, but before I can say a word, he’s finding a better spot for his tongue. 

“Fuck,” I moan, my eyes fluttering shut. 

My fingers drop my hair and move to my mock-neck, using that to fidget instead. This feels so fucking good, but my anxieties over the positioning still haven’t died down yet. 

I abandon the clutch I had on the wizard’s hair and rest my hand on the arm of the couch behind his crown. With the way his nails are threatening to dig into the curves of my hips, I have just enough leverage to let him lick how he wants to while moving myself accordingly. 

The slight change in position startles him, I think — he telepathically checks in with me, “Are you doing alright?” 

“Yes, Magnus~” I verbally respond. The way he growls at my enthusiastic reply sends a palpable wave of excitement through me. 

With each swipe of Magnus’ tongue, I lose myself further. My hips grind with more confidence, and my sweater-filled hand starts drawing downward on its own, now leaving only my chin beneath my collar. I curse under my breath while he adds some more pressure, and let out a startlingly loud mewl as he repositions his left hand to nearly meet his lips, sliding two long digits inside of me. That can’t be comfortable for him by any means with the way his arm is contorting, but I’ll be lying if I try to claim that it doesn’t feel fucking incredible. 

“Holy shit,” I cry. 

He moans against my clit. It sends a vibration through me, and I moan as I lower myself a little more, pushing his fingers deeper inside of myself. Is this what people who are able to ride dick feel like?!  

“F-fuh–”

“Is it too much?” he nonverbally inquires.

“N-noh god, I love you, y-you’re perfect, Iloveyou.” Each word proves to be more of a struggle to get out as I feel myself beginning to peak. He chuckles beneath me, adding fuel to the fire. “God, Mag~”

I can’t physically move any faster – again, bad joints and all that jazz. He’s the captain now. There’s a subtle pounding in my ears, and I can’t tell if it’s my adrenaline, or blood flow, or whatever, or if it’s something else outside of myself entirely. I pay no mind to it, not caring what’s happening around me. Too fucked-out.

“So close,” I breathe. “Please, I–”

“Wait juuust a little longer, sweetheart.”

I whine in frustration. “W-why?” I ask, just barely above a whisper, looking down while complying by slowing myself to a halt. His eyes crinkle, indicating that he’s smiling, while continuing to lick my pussy and probe in and out of my cunt. 

He doesn’t give me an answer.

“Oh, wow.” 

Seb does?! 

Well, kinda.

I yelp, head bolting up and left towards the source. Standing near the entrance to this room is fucking Sebastian, his dark indigo eyes darker with want, and his grin just as shit-eating as ever. 

Magnus still hasn’t stopped. 

I look back and forth between Seb and Magnus a few times, my mind racing and chest heaving and throat dry as I can’t verbalize any of the confused thoughts that I’m having amidst what’s happening all around me.

Seb is slowly drawing closer to us. Magnus is working me even harder, as if he’s trying to pry my orgasm out of me now of all times. He can’t curl his fingers much from this position, but he can sure as hell fuck me with ‘em. I try to steady the slight bounce each thrust of his digits causes to no avail.

…Yoba above, did they fucking plan this?!

Magnus coaxes a moan out of me, but my eyes stay trained on Seb. His grin widens and a soft chuckle emits from him as he listens and watches in on the action. 

When Seb reaches the couch, he places a palm on the armrest before leaning forward to almost match my height. He then removes my hand from its hold on my sweater and takes my newly-exposed chin between his thumb and forefinger. In turn, I instinctively grasp his wrist, probably squeezing him a lil’ too hard while I try to prolong my pleasure as per Magnus’ orders.

“You said you were close, yeah?” Seb asks.

“Y-yeah,” It comes out whiney, and Magnus picks up his pace. “Fuck.” 

My eyes threaten to close, but I keep them locked into Seb’s. I don’t miss the way his view trails down to my tits, clearly a little enthralled by their slight jiggling underneath my sweater. My prior concern morphs into a breathy laugh. I look down to the wizard, and he’s still focused on my face. Reading my every reaction with those sparkly, red eyes. God. 

“Please Magnus, I—“

Seb’s grip on my chin strengthens, pulling my view back to meet his. “You wanna cum, yeah?”

“Yes, please, Seb~” Yoba, I sound so desperate. I don’t care anymore though.

“Be a dear and cum for him, then.” 

This is so absurd. 

Not in a bad way, by any means, but just… holy shit I wasn’t expecting this.

Near-immediately after Seb’s command, I clench around Magnus’ digits, grinding against his taste buds and urging him further inside of me. Probably smooshing his face a little bit with my thighs too. Sorry, dude.

Between his hasty pokes and the delicious alternation between licking and sucking, my high hits me like a fucking train. It makes me feel a bit lightheaded until Seb catches my lips with his own to ground me. 

After however many otherworldly seconds of whining against Seb’s tongue and probably suffocating poor Magnus, the feeling simmers away. Once he senses I’ve settled down a bit, Magnus repeats his earlier motion in the opposite direction — he softly repositions me away from his face and nearer to his lap, before wiping my excess wetness from his features.

Neither of them say anything. I look between the two of them, who are approvingly peering between each other and myself. 

When I find my voice again, I speak up. “So, like, what the fuck—” 

“Before you ask,” Seb starts, “this was mostly coincidental.”

I furrow my brows. “What?”

Magnus sits upright, and just when I’m about to shift some more to give him some room, he scoops me up and repositions himself so that his spine is against the back of the couch while my legs are draped across his lap. I cross my arms and lean my shoulder and head against his chest, waiting for more of an explanation. 

“He requested to borrow a book to assist him in falling asleep,” Magnus informs me.

Seb cuts in to add with a slight hand-raise, “Drank too much coffee overnight and figured my own books at home might just distract me too much.”

I nod subtly. “When did this happen?” I ask them both.

“When I got here,” Seb claims, “ready to just steal one anyway.” 

Seb and Magnus share a cheeky glare with one another. Seb’s is paired with a menacingly goofy smile. He then wraps around the front of the furniture so that he can sit next to Magnus and behind me. I crane my head so that I’m able to see him, albeit upside-down. 

Sebby continues on, while taking advantage of the angle of my throat to murmur against it. “But when I heard those pretty sounds of yours…” he trails off, planting an open-mouthed kiss against my goose-bumping skin. He knows I’ve gotten the gist of it by now.

This lil perv definitely asked Magnus outright if he could come down here to see me in action.

“I hope it hasn’t made you uncomfortable,” Magnus chimes in.

“No, I mean, it was surprising, but like…” I sigh, laying down, my upper body now splayed across Seb’s while my lower body remains on Magnus. I can’t bring myself to meet their eyes as I softly admit, “It was… god that was so cool.” 

Both of them chuckle, Magnus squeezing my thigh as Seb scruffs up my hair a bit. I do my best to flatten it back into place, then direct my attention towards the wizard, lazily pointing at him once a thought pops into my head.

“I’ve got a question for you.”

He cocks his head slightly. “What is good?” 

God, he’s trying so hard to be ~hip.~ He’s so cute. I do my best not to laugh at him.

“Are you straight?”

“I doubt it.” 

He seems to ponder the question further for a moment while I give Seb a sneaky thumbs up. As if to tell him, without a single word shared, “Maybe you have a chance with him too!” Seb rolls his eyes and nudges my hand away, a playful smirk on his face.

I draw my eyes back to Magnus once he continues, “I’ve predominantly had women as partners for as far back as I can recollect, but it’s not as though I’m opposed to relations with other genders.” I glimpse at Seb, unable to hide my mischievous grin. I could never be an actor. “Why do you ask?”

“Eh, just curious.” 

“That devilish smile you’re wearing tells me something else.” 

Damn, he saw right through me. Who woulda thunk it?

I completely dodge him.

“Don’t worry about it.” I pair the phrase with some finger guns.

“So,” Seb diverts the conversation, “would you mind if I just crash on a couch? That way I don’t have to worry about making the trip back here later.”

“Go right ahead,” Magnus smiles warmly at him. Then, he turns his attention to me. “Are you ready to go?”

I look down at my form. I’m still skirtless, and I’m probably fucking sopping given what just happened. Plus, there’s spit down there too now. Gross. 

“Uh. Lemme clean up real quick.” I shakily crawl off my partners and gather my skirt in my arms. “Should I meet you back down here, or..?”

Magnus shakes his head before answering verbally, “I’ll follow you in a moment.” 

“You got it.” I turn to Seb, scurrying over to give him a kiss. “See you later, nerd.”

“Yeah whatever.” Rolling his eyes and laughing, Seb pulls me back down with one finger hooked into my collar. After a soft peck, he says, “Love you. Have fun with the geezer.”

Magnus leers over at Seb. “Quiet, child.”

I snort at the exchange. “Love ya too, Sebby.” I part with a two-fingered salute before making my way upstairs.

[bi-animated]

The Patakis Week Day 2!

I’m honestly so proud of this one, I just finished it today so I can post it in time. (I really don’t wanna fall behind like Inktober ☠️)

Following the prompts, here is the scenario:

Arnold and Helga are volunteering at PS 118 for their summer program that is essentially just a glorified baby sitting gig, which is why they’re letting high schoolers do it in the first place. We all know why Helga took the job, and it has nothing to do with kids. So when a young student in her cluster, Daisy May*, becomes overly attached, Helga exploits Daisy’s love of pudding. Arnold has been watching Helga too, and notices that she’s up to her old tricks. “You can’t just sit the kid in a corner with a pudding cup, how is she going to learn?”

“That’s how Bob did it and I turned out fine”

“Okay Helga, just be big enough to clean the mess”

*Fun fact: Daisy May is the name of the love interest in Lil Abner, where Arnold’s pet pig gets his namesake. Daisy May pursues the main character even though he shows no interest. It’s a Helga-ception.(credit to my bf for that)

One thing that I LOVE about Helga is her tenacity to break the rules (law😝) for the sake of her personal mission. Since it’s just a blurb for a picture, I didn’t get too detailed with the plot but I’d like to think that Helga was getting up to something Football related 😏

I wanted her face to look frustrated for being caught out, but also totally elated that Arnold was paying attention to her 😍

@opthepatakis

————————

Since I’m using my Tumblr as more of an “art diary”, I’d like to include some more info behind what went into this piece:

Much like Inktober, I’m using this challenge to learn more about Procreate, experiment with brushes and figure out what’s “right” for me.

To be frank, it has been a mildly frustrating experience internally because I already know that my weakness is color. Digital painting and traditional are just not the same, they don’t work the same (to me anyway). The interface of Procreate is so different from Photoshop too, finding and remembering to use tools isn’t a simple transition, either. It makes me self conscious of my art, even though I’ve gone to art school, and it throws me off to have to stop and Google stuff. But! I think with this piece, I’m FINALLY in a good groove of how I want my art to look and how to get there.

TLDR; I cry bc the lesson I refuse to learn is that you never stop learning 🙃

PS - skipping Patakis Week Day 3 to put the amount of effort and time that I want to put into Day 4’s prompt, however, I’ll still post something fun! 💜

[killmongerskeeper]

Hiii

Can you maybe write a Shuri x fem!reader smut with promts 3, 5 and 6?

Where Shuri was busy in the lab for some time so they didn’t have sex for a while and Shuri just comes to her and fucks her brains out in the middle of the day because she was finally done with whatever she was doing. And omfg if you can write vibranium strap!Shuri it would be amazing

Thank you <3

Smut #3: “I want you now”

Smut #5: “You can get louder can’t you”

Smut #6: “Don’t cum yet”

To say you were pinning for the princess was an understatement. You have been busy with meetings and conferences. She's been in the lab for the past 2 weeks with her head buried in her work. You wished she was buried between your thighs instead. You've used your own fingers but it's not the same. You squeezed your legs together before letting a sigh leave your lips. Maybe a shower would take it down a notch. You got up and grabbed your things before walking to the bathroom. You draped your towel over your neck as you turned in the water, feeling for the right temperature. 

Back in the lab the princess was feeling every bit of sexual tension within her. She has to finish this sequence or else Okoye's new suit won't be complete. She'd be lying if she said she didn't miss you. The both of you have been too busy to be with each other. Shuri in her lab and you with the Wakanda outreach program. When she saw you this morning it took everything in her being not to take you right then and there. She found herself thinking about the way you would whimper when she buried her fingers deep inside you. How easily you take her. She ran a hand over her face and grabbed a random chain from the sequence and placed it towards the bottom. She had to clear her thoughts of you before the wet spot in her boy shorts got bigger. Her eyes widened when she saw the link change from white to green and she clapped her hands. "Finally! Grio print it!" She said walking out of the lab. 

You climbed out of the shower with the towel wrapped around you with a frown. You tried to ease the throbbing sensation between your legs but it's still there even though you came. You made your way to the dresser before the door to your bedroom opened. You jumped at the intrusion ready to tell off whoever it was until you turned to see Shuri.

"Princess? Is there something wrong?" She stares at you and takes a couple of long strides before her lips find yours. You were taken by surprise but didn't question her when her hands cupped your cheeks. The kiss was everything but slow. Heated. Passionate. Impatient. Her tongue pushed against your lip and you sighed to allow her access. Your hands left your towel, letting the fabric fall to the floor. She pulled away to look you over before taking her bottom lip between her teeth. 

"I want you now." Her lips wasted no time latching onto your neck as you fisted the dress she wore. She nudged you backwards until your back hit the bed. Her lips never left yours as she sat up on her knees lifting your leg over her hip. Her hand slipped between the two of you, sliding over your folds with ease due to your arousal. You bucked into her hand as she circled your clit with a slow pace. It didn't take long for her to slip two fingers inside you. You let your head fall onto the pillow as she rubbed against your walls. It felt like it's been too long since you were under her like this. Your stomach tightened in knots and you wiggled your hips, signaling you were close to your release. 

"Don't cum yet." Not being able to hold back the whine when she chuckled as she pulled her wet fingers out of you. She brought her hand up your face and you opened your mouth to suck on her digits. "Fuck me." She reached for the dresser and you licked your lips in anticipation as you knew what was coming. She slid the strap you two would use but this one looks different. It's bigger. She must have noticed your face expression as she let out a laugh. 

"It's a new one I cooked up in the lab. I feel whatever it feels. You'll be fine I promise. Now turn around and bend over." She commanded and you pushed your chest into the mattress while putting your hands behind your back. Her hands ran over the curve of your ass as she glided the tip over your folds. She buried inside you and you let out a groan into the pillow. 

"Fuck. So tight for me." She moaned out as she slowly started thrusting her hips. The blasted thing was amazing. She could feel the way you clenched down on the strap while she fucked you. Her hand came down to grab hold of your wrists while you moaned into the pillow. "Come on you can get louder can't you." She pushed further into you and you lost yourselves in the pleasure as she sped up her pace. Chasing the release you both so craved. Her head fell back and you felt the coil inside you snap. The feeling of you releasing on the strap sent her over the edge and she stilled behind you. She slowly pulled out of you letting your juices trickle down your thighs. She rubbed her finger over your thigh, catching some of it before putting her digit in her mouth. 

"Delicious. Just as I remember." She grinned as she slowly turned you over. "Care to give me one more?"

[cr0ftisprocrastinating]

Crofty! My favorite and beloved academia Dramione writer! Will you be a student again this year? What is the back to school season like for you?

I also want to ask, how do you set intentions for the beginning of the semester/school year and make sure that you stay committed to them? How do you balance separate writing projects with your coursework?

In addition, would you be willing to share advice for a reader halfway through her undergraduate degree? For context, I’ve had some rough setbacks in my first two years, but I’m really eager to prove myself. I want to build back my GPA and earn my way into a humanities PhD program.

Thanks so much! I hope your academic years are wonderful (in the true old meaning of the word!) and give you great joy, wisdom and inspiration.

#ADHDinacademia #PhD #dramione #darkacademia #hogwarts #oxford #oxbridge #ivyleague #columbia #manuscript #marauder #hermionegranger #undergradwoes #lumos

Sweet Piedra! Happy September, aka the best month of the whole year! (it may or may not include my birthday).

I will be a student this year again! I'm just about to start my second year as a phd student (programs in the UK are usually 3-4 years, so I'm nearly halfway through already?!).

The biggest advice I can give about studying is firstly: wanting to do well is the first step to doing well in anything, so you are already a good chunk of the way there!

2. pick things that you are naturally interested in (for option papers). Life is a hell of a lot easier when you're not making it harder for yourself, even if you think you *should* be studying something bc it sounds impressive (personally, I am not into Russian Literature at all, so I just don't force myself to slog through Crime and Punishment, etc. This simple realisation improved my life by at least 100%)

3. Do as much reading as you can. When I did my undergrad I was so surprised at how little reading people did lol, and doing the reading makes a big difference. The Professors have made the reading lists for a reason and they want to help you.

4. Utilise office hours! It took me ages to realise that I can just...go to the office hours and talk to the people who were teaching me. Go in person if you can. Talk them through your essay plans and they will course correct before they're marked. Let them know that you're interested in pursuing it further, and find out what they think you need to do to fill in any gaps you may have. Don't be discouraged if they're short with you, bc academics are a weird bunch.

5. Try not to be so focused on an end result that you forget to enjoy what you're doing right now. Romanticise the hell out of your life whenever you can. It's short!

In terms of my 'process' (sorry this is SO long):

This term is going to be pretty hectic! In addition to my PhD I work Tuesdays and Wednesdays at a corporate job to help pay the bills. I have funding, but funding in the arts is just...not enough.

I will also be teaching this semester for the first time ever (yay!) so I have reading lists and essay questions to put together before Oct. That's every other week though, so it's not too much work.

My supervisors and I try to get a 'chunk' of my thesis written a term (8-10k roughly). I have about 8k due at the end of this month as I have written 2 chunks over the summer, and will have another due at the end of term in Dec.

Also, I've been asked to give a talk about my research at the end of the semester which I am SO excited about, but it means I'll be adapting one of my thesis chapters for that, too! :)

Broadly speaking I do fanfic writing Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, as after grown-up-job-things my brain is too toasted for academic work. When I'm getting to the end of a story however I get real itchy fingers and have to get all the words out as quickly as possible, so I let a lot of other things slide, like cleaning or cooking or washing my hair or also doing my work. Gross, I know, but I've never been particularly functional when I have an idea in my head.

However, I do believe that if you are busy then you are more productive. I have 2 modes: INSANE or blob. I do not recommend this approach, but that is just the way that I'm wired. Today, for instance, I spent the entire day in bed. Tomorrow I really must go back to the library.

Oxford terms are only 8 weeks long, and honestly no matter how prepared I am at the beginning, by halfway through I'm clinging on by a thread. I try not to be too hard on myself when that happens, and focus on getting my work done and not keeping my house clean or whatever else I've decided to beat myself up about.

My username is about procrastinating for a reason. I just kind of productively procrastinate and then at some point everything just gets done?

Some personal mantras:

'everything in moderation, including moderation'

'say yes and figure it out later'

'the work comes first' (normally I say this to try and galvanize myself into staying in the library when I want to go to the pub)

'fuck it' (said when the pub wins out)

'it'll get done, because it has to' (said when I have a week to write 4,000 words because i've procrastinated too close to the sun, again)

[heyitssashag]

Over the weekend, we tried to get into the Christmas spirit. The kid and I made salt dough decorations. Then my parents took us to a Christmas fair, a lighting ceremony and an amazing lunch.

My pain levels were surprisingly pretty low throughout the day until we hung outside. Standing in one spot for a while in the cold doesn’t bode well for me. Other than that, it was a really nice weekend.

I read a book (actually, I listened to it on Audible), called Bright Line Eating. The author was a former drug and food addict turned PhD and healthy person. She includes a lot of science behind what happens in our brains when you’re a food addict and how sugar is basically as addictive as heroin. The food plan is all about portion control (weighing your food), cutting out all added sugar and flour. (Fruit is okay.) I read it because I was recommending the book to others… but I hadn’t actually read it. lol. I just heard good things about it. It’s a pretty hardcore diet but I can see why it has to be if you’re truly a food addict. Anyway, there’s a lot of research backing what she was preaching so I’m on day 3 of no sugar or flour. I figured I’ll try it for a month and see if it actually makes a difference in how I feel. In no way shape or form will I be actually weighing my food, meal planning, joining a support group or eating at specific times because I don’t care about losing weight. However, I’m writing down what I’ve been eating each day as she recommends. Anyway, if someone is struggling with weight loss/food addiction and they thrive under a structured regimen, then I think this program can be very helpful and will work.

A friend of my parents passed away this week from colon cancer. He was diagnosed a few months before I was (the first time) back in 2018. He went into remission for a while, then it came back. He wasn’t much older than me. I haven’t seen him in a long time but he gave encouraging words to my parents to pass on to me - especially when I was first diagnosed. I felt like if he was thriving and powering through, so could I. It’s a hard blow that he’s actually gone now. He left behind a beautiful family and many, many friends.

Cancer is an asshole.

I took an extra week off the Ibrance and had lab work done today. Now I know that it takes exactly 2 weeks for my blood to return to a normal person’s levels. Maybe I’ll go get a tattoo tomorrow. lol. Kidding. (Fun fact about me: I’m allergic to tattoo ink.)

I looked at my MRI scan and it turns out I have a compression fracture in my lumbar spine - at the L2. Which is where most of the cancer is. I’ve been complaining about lower back pain in that area for a long time now. The fracture was apparently on the last full spine MRI which was August of 2022. So it’s been there for well over a year and no one bothered to tell me. Awesome. (Glad I made that neurosurgeon appointment.)

I’ve been still getting in my walks. On Saturday I took a light backpack with my chair and a thermos of tea. It weighed 6.5 pounds and it was a little too heavy for my neck. After about 30 minutes of walking, I was feeling sore. So I cut my walk short and went to the beach. I saw a sea lion which was cool. Wasn’t able to get a photo, though. …but here’s some boats.

Anyway, I have a busy week ahead and need to get up early. I’m reading a weird book. Will give a review later. Going to read a bit more before bed.

[futbolfanficpunk]

Just you and me, finally

Player: Kostas Tsimikas Word count: 5.2k Summary: You and Kostas are ex-lovers and best friends, and have been for almost 3 years, but now that you are seriously dating someone else things seem to be different. You are meeting him in person for the first time in forever but the dynamics drastically change once you see each other. Warnings: Angst, Infidelity, Fluff Author's note: This took me forever to write, I rewrote it so many times I lost count. It started the idea of texting. Probably should have divided it into 2 chapters but it was too cute to stop, it's worth it, I promise. Hope you like it

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kostas

<<Hey! Call me soon, yea? I miss your stupid jokes and ugly accent

;) >>

     It’s been three years since Kostas and you broke up. He was playing with Olympiacos then. It was a passionate yet short affair of a few months but you two decided to stay friends since you actually got along. You were only in Greece for six months, living in Piraeus, and did not want to put your academic career on hold. So, you broke it off in a friendly manner. You both agreed it was for the best in between tears and kisses, but it was done and you went back home. 

       The long-distance friendship had worked well; it was fun yet respectful, and you both cared for each other. You kept in touch by calling each other with voice or video calls every few weeks, sometimes every few months but you always texted each other with memes, news about Greece or to congratulate each other’s accomplishments. You followed each other on social media and were on each other’s close friends' filters. Every now and then, when you were both single there was some flirting but it was always very innocent.

       Now that Kostas lived and worked in Liverpool you thought that you would talk more often and maybe see each other every now and then, but that did not happen. He had a new girlfriend, you had met her on a video call, she was sweet and beautiful and she looked at Kostas the way you used to, you recognized the love in her eyes when she looked at him while he talked to you. You were happy for him but it also made you a bit uncomfortable for some reason, and you did not like feeling that way but you ignored it. You also had dated guys but nothing serious, had a few dates with an older girl but that was a disaster. Now you had gone on a few dates with a man from your doctorate program, who was three years older than you, and he seemed to be wanting something serious which kind of scared you but you were intrigued. You hadn’t had anything serious since Kostas and by the end of it, you almost lived together. It was the relationship to compare to all others. Maybe you weren’t completely over Kostas because the thought of a serious relationship made you so nervous.

      Your cell phone rings at night while you work on a research paper, it’s a video call, and it’s Kostas. You look at the phone, and it shows you your reflection. Your hair is a mess, you fix it and pick it up. 

“Hi, Kos!” you say with a smile on your face

“Hey! How are you?” he asked while you noticed his new hairdo. He used to shorter wavy hair, he told you he was growing it but now he has a Nuñez type of bun. You almost cracked up.

“I’m good, laughing at your Nuñez costume”

“Oooooh! Are you trying to roast me, woman?”

“I think I already did”

“Well, Darwin is considered cool and handsome in the female circles, so I’ll take that as a compliment”

“Sure, getting called the poor man’s Darwin could be considered a compliment”

He laughs and you give him a cheeky grin through the screen while he shakes his head. “Even if you’re trying to make fun of me, I’m glad I didn’t wait for you to call me because you were taking forever”

“Yea, sorry, I’ve been so busy with this paper I’m working on. It slipped my mind but I’m glad you decided to call, it’s so great to see you”

“I’ve missed you, Y/N” he said while showing a shy smile while he tilted his head

“Me too, darling"  you said while your whole body felt relaxed and warm knowing that you two were feeling the same. You and Kostas had an affinity towards each other that only old couples have.

       As the regular update phone conversation continued, you asked him about his girl, Hannah, his family, and his work, you had seen that Liverpool was struggling. He asked you about your doctorate program, your family and inquired about your love life. When you told him about John, the serious contender, his face got serious and he said “So, I think I have to fly over and scare him off”

“I don’t think he’s a afraid of guys with funny hair”

“You’re so rude!” he girly screamed and he burst out laughing 

“Sometimes!” you said while laughing at his scream. “So, you think this John guy might be a serious thing?” he asked in a pressing tone, changing the mood.

“Maybe, we’ll see. I’m testing it out now but he seems to want something more serious than just hooking up and hanging out a bit”

“Ok, that’s good, not a douche”

“I guess not, yea” you said, shrugging and nodding

      You talked about other things for a few minutes, some news, songs you were listening to, and Greece. You always talk about Greece. Time always flies when you two talk, it always feels so natural and fun, like childhood friends who never lost touch but you had to cut the conversation because you needed to get more work done. 

“I’ll call you soon, ok?” I love you, stupid” You said as a good-bye.

 He nodded as he said “Me too, chazós” and blew you a kiss, you did the same and hung up.

Y/N

<<Wooopps! I just accidentally buttdialed you.>

 <I know I owe you a call. If you want to call me back right now, you can, I’ll be home for an hour or two before leaving. If not I’ll call you tomorrow. I swear! >

<I’m not the worst friend but the worse? I just thought of that joke>

<I apologize, it’s bad *skull emoji*>>

    It’s been a month since Kostas and you had talked, although you had texted and dmed on instagram with each other, you had not made time to call him like you said you would. He didn’t insist either. Since then, things had turned a bit more serious with John, he had asked you to be exclusive and be a thing. You couldn’t think of any reasons to say no. He was kind and smart, you two had similar interests and values, you found him handsome, he had a cute American accent from the west coast since he was from Seattle, Washington, and he loved to eat you out when you two had sex, which was your current favorite thing about him. So, you said “Okay! Yes!” with a stupid happy smile on your face when he asked you. The more you got to know him, the more you liked him.

            Tonight you were going out with him to a restaurant and then you had a night event at the uni where some of your musician friends had a recital. John was picking you up about in an hour, and you were getting ready when Kostas called you back after seeing your message. You panicked but decided to pick up since he had seen you put makeup on dozens occasions. You put the phone by your vanity mirror and picked up. “Hello Kostas” you greeted him while putting eye makeup on.

“Hello! Worst friend ever” he sang in a loud voice “Oh, shut up!” you said as you stop to look at him through your screen and gave him a fake mean stare even though you smiled half through it “Can’t you just say hi?” He had his hair down and to the side, he had to be home.

“Are you getting ready to go out?” he asked

“Yes, I have a date with John” you replied

“Is that still going on?” he said with sarcasm in his voice “Obviously, and it’s kinda serious now, you know. We get along great. We’re dating exclusively and see each other a lot, he loves to come over”

“I’m sure he does, I would”

“I’m sure Hannah does, doesn’t she?”

“She practically lives here” “There you go” “It’s what happens when people fall in love with you, they wanna be around you” “Oh, I don’t know if he loves me, but he does tell me he’s crazy about me”

“And, are you in love with him? “I’m not there yet…you definitely are though”

“With Hannah?” 

“Yea”

“Oh, yes. I am.” he responded

You two were quiet for a second. You asked him for a minute so you can finish your eyeliner, put on a bit of blush, and then you started doing your lips, putting on a red lip color. He quietly looked at you the whole time. 

“So, what are you wearing tonight? I want a fashion show” he inquired when he saw you were done “Oh! It’s a really elegant black dress, it’s not too long or short and it has a slit to die for” you said with excitement “Less talking, more showing!” he demanded

“Give me one second!” you went off camera to put it on then you stepped back into view far enough so he can see how the dress looks on you. “Wow! You look gorgeous, John is going to want to stay over tonight!”

You cracked up in laughter and blushed a bit, while your hands held your face in embarrassment . Kostas was not usually this flirty with you but you just played it off as funny banter. “You’re so stupid” you said

“I’m not kidding! You look real good, woman. I mean. You are a doll, no matter what you wear” he said with flirty eyes.

“Stop, Kostas.” “Okay, okay, Sorry!”

“It’s ok. I’ll take the compliment as a job well done on this fit” you said in a more serious tone while coming closer to the camera. “Hey, I’ll let you finish, have fun tonight. We’ll talk” he wrapped the conversation up feeling a bit of awkwardness from you but especially because he felt like he couldn’t stop himself from flirting with you.

“Thanks, I’ll call you next weekend, I promise”

“Don’t promise, just do it” “I will, bye” you waved at the camera

He did too and hung up. You felt butterflies in your stomach and a knot in your throat. Why was Konstantinos Tsimikas acting like this? Usually, your conversations sound more like two guys taking the piss out of each other than this weird flirtatious conversation you just had. Then the apartment doorbell rang. John was here.

Y/N

<<Kos! I have great news! >

<I have a conference, next month in Liverpool that the uni is paying for. Although the conference is three days, I can stay six. So, maybe we can see each other?>

<Maybe at a game or restaurant or your place? >

<I hope you are there that week and not playing somewhere else. I’m freaking out just thinking about seeing you again! Hope it works out! Worst friend ever!>>

Kostas

<< holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>

<We’ll make it work! I have to see you!> <Excited! *red heart emoji*>>

It had been three years since you had seen each other in person. Hugged each other, touched each other, or had been close to each other. You were so nervous, getting out of the taxi and walking up to the door of his huge house, your heart was racing. Kostas opened the door before you even get to finish walking up to the door. “Y/N!!!” he shouted as he walked towards you. His smile was bigger than his face, he looked more fit than when you left him, he had the manbun on, and his arms were open to give you a big hug.

“Kostas! Hi!” you opened your arms to receive the hug, even though you were trying to hold on to your purse that had a wine bottle you brought as a gift.

You squeezed each other tight while making all sorts of noises that came out instead of words. “I’m so happy that you are here” he said while he holds your face with his hands and kisses you on the cheek. You let out a small giggle. “Me too, me too! I can’t believe it’s been so long!” you said almost screaming and you hugged him again.

You two looked and sounded like teenage girls while Hannah appeared by the door

“Kostas, get her inside! It’s chilly out there!” demanded Hannah

He moved aside and pointed to the door with his hand. You spent the evening with Kostas and his Hannah. They did make a sweet couple. She was a beautiful & gracious host that seemed to be very curious about you and is surprised by the aggressive banter you and Kos had between each other, constantly roasting each other through the night. 

Kostas had spent the afternoon making various of your favorite Greek dishes and surprised you with Greek snacks that were really hard to find anywhere else but in Greece. You were so excited you gave him a big hug and explained to Hannah that it was impossible to get back home, you only got them through your host family back in Greece who sent them by post. You all sat down to eat, and had wine, talking, joking, and enjoying the delicious meal Kostas had made for you all. You caught yourself staring at Kosta a few times while you ate, he had a very clean and fashionable all-black outfit on. You tried to engage otherwise or talked to Hannah but just being around him again was magnetic in a strange way, you did not want to think about it.

Both Hannah and you complimented him on a job well done. Later, you all chatted in the living room while Kostas played Greek music in the background. You had two more wine glasses while you all talked and joked, you start feeling a bit tipsy. You told Kostas that maybe it was time for you to go. He told you he would drive you to your hotel even when you insisted on an uber or taxi because he barely had two glasses of wine with food tonight. 

“This has been great. It was so nice to finally meet you in person, Hannah, and thanks for everything. You are amazing, Kostas is lucky to have you” You said while hugging her in front of their front door.

“ Aw, you’re so sweet, Y/N. You’ve made Kostas very happy by coming, he couldn’t shut up about it all week, preparing everything for the dinner.” said Hannah

“That’s not true, she’s exaggerating” interrupted Kostas

“It is true. Anyway, you are welcome to come back anytime” concluded Hannah

“Okay, let’s get going, my car is down there” pointed Kostas

“Bye!” you said as you waved to Hannah. 

Kostas kissed Hannah goodbye and joined you.

       He opened the door to his black Land Rover and said “After you!”

“Thanks” you said giving him side eye, you didn’t know if he was really trying to be a gentleman or just joking around.

He sat down, started the car and immediately asked “Did you have fun?”

“So much fun! Thank you everything, especially the food. It was soooo good”

“Good! Took me all fucking day to make it!” 

He started the car and drove towards the exit. 

“You know what my favorite part was?” he said while looking at the road

“What?” you asked while looking at him

He turned to you before taking off to exit to the left

“Having you here” he said

You gently slapped his arm and showed him your phone

“The GPS says the hotel is ten minutes from here” you said

“I’m going to need more than ten minutes alone with you” he responded

“Konstantine,” you said, “Don't say things like that!”

“No, I’m being serious. I just want us to talk by ourselves. I haven’t been alone with you anywhere in three years, and before you suggest it, I don’t want to wait until tomorrow” he protested

“Okay, fine. We can go up to my suite. It has a nice couch with a TV we can sit and chat, and I can drink some water” 

“Sounds perfect”

You decided to cut the conversation before you start thinking about what was going on and just relayed the GPS instructions until you got there, he didn't say much about you two, he just talked about Liverpool and the things you may want to see tomorrow before you leave.

      The elevator door rings and opens, the hotel halls are green and blue, and the doors are brown. A relaxed and unthreatening place.

“It’s over here to the right” you explained where your room was

“Lead the way” he replied

As you open the door you tried to remember if you left a big mess or not but the room looked tighty with just a shirt on your bed and empty water bottle on the side table next to the couch. “It’s not the Four Seasons but, you know, the uni paid for it”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s fine” he says as he walks towards the mini fridge” Should I get you a water? ‘Please” you said as you sat down on the couch, took your shoes off, and sat with your legs facing the opposite direction of our torso.

He sat down, opened the bottle, and gave it to you while sitting so close to you that your knees touched. “Thanks" you said after you drink your water.

“Can I tell you that I am losing my mind by the fact that you are here?” he said as he softly tugged a thick strand of your hair. You knew you were blushing, you felt the warmth of your face giving you away. You didn't want to like what was going happening but you did. You suspect Kos was being wreckless, and maybe, you were too.

“I know, me too. It’s not the same on the phone. You’re funnier on the phone” you replied with a smile. He chuckled and tapped your knee.

“And you’re prettier in person, Y/N” he said while softly caressing your cheek “Stop flirting with me, Kos” you snapped at him

“Why?

“Because I’m seeing someone and I just met your girlfriend of one a half years, we just spent like three hours with her. It’s weird”

“It’s weird? Is that why? He said with a mild annoyance is his voice “you were staring and smiling at me the whole time you were at my place, with Hannah right there, giving me “love me” eyes and now it’s weird that I tell you that you’re pretty? Is that why you want me to stop?”

“because I like it! That's why” you blurt out “I don’t want you to flirt with me because I like it. I don’t want to but I do. I want you to and it makes me feel strange” He leaned closer to you and said “You want me to?” in a soft voice

Your heart was racing, and you felt like it might jump out of your chest. He was so close you could smell him. His sweet and earthy cologne, his expensive hair products, you could hear his breathing, it was fast, just like yours. “Yes,” you said while you felt your face getting close to his. “It’s hard to explain” 

You stared at his mouth while it continued to move towards you. “It’s not,” he said, hovering his mouth over yours, lips almost touching. He started stroking your arm with the back of his fingers as he talked. “You’re my favorite person, I’m your favorite person, and I’m tired of pretending that’s not true” You knew there was truth in that statement, it sent a tingling feeling all over your body, you couldn’t stop yourself and you kissed him. He held your face and kissed you back, his mouth was hungry for yours. You felt like this was a dream, not real, like you turned back time and you were both in Piraeus at the end of your first date where you ended up kissing just like this, wanting each other’s mouth and kissing like two desperate kids. But you felt his new facial hair scrubbing against your face and that reminded you; this was another time and another place. You pulled back. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t”

“I shouldn't have done that” “I wanted you to, I was just about to do the same” “Well, we shouldn’t. It’s wrong” 

“Did it feel wrong to you?”

“I think you should go home”

“I don’t want to go home. You’re here. I just…”

Kostas held his eyes with his right hand and sighed

“I have all these feelings bottled up, all these years. You are such an amazing person, my best friend, I don’t want to fuck it up with you -”

“You won’t”

“—but I’m not over you, and tonight, you look so beautiful, your clothes, your hair, your funny laugh, your smile after you say something funny, it kills me. You are more beautiful each year, smarter, more fun, it’s so unfair. I never felt like I wanted to talk or be around someone so much. I just wanna be with you”

“and tomorrow? Hannah? John?”

“I don’t care. I care about you. Don’t you feel like that at all, Y/N? Be honest, please” You hesitated to speak right away, you looked down and then looked at him, you were still in love with him and you were afraid to admit it.

“I do feel like that, Kos. I tried to just put all those feelings in the back of my mind away from me, because, What good would they bring me? We were far away from each other, busy.  I just rather us be friends. But lately, since John, I felt like you were trying to be different” “I didn’t want you to date him, I hate it” “Yea” There’s a moment of silence when you just stare at each other,

“How do you feel now? he asked

“I feel guilty, but…”

“Uhum?”

“I feel like I’m still in love with you, and I’m dying for you to kiss me” you said with a sigh

“Good, because i’m dying to too” He cupped your face and kissed you softly, like he was afraid to hurt you by kissing you. You grabbed his sides and kissed him back, your tongues, lips, and saliva made loud noises in a silent room. You both moaned into each other’s mouth, squeezing each other now that both your arms were wrapped around each other. All those years of bottled-up emotion were starting to come out. You start leaning back into the couch but his phone vibrates on the couch. You both stopped and looked at the phone.

Hannah

<< Are you almost done? I’m ready for bed.>

  < Just in case I fall asleep b4 you get here:

Love you>

“You should go home” you said while you caressed his face when you saw the message on his screen.

He kisses your nose and said “I know, but we’re not done”

“What do you mean?” you asked “You’re going to see me tomorrow. Before you leave”

“When is that going to happen?

“I’m going to give you a ride to the airport after I finish training, I’ll pick you up” he said with great confidence 

“Okay,” you agreed “sounds good” 

He stood up, helped you up and pulled you into him to hug you, you hugged him back. Just then you remembered that his mouth is full of lipstick from making out with you. 

“You have lipstick all over your face, let me clean you up before you go. Don’t want you to get into more trouble ” 

You both went to your bathroom where you got one of your makeup removing towlettes and cleaned the light red lipstick out of his mouth and chin, you did it with a lot of care so his skin wouldn’t get red from the friction. He just stared at you while you do it, it felt so intimate and calming. 

“All done”

“Thank you. Hey, before I go, let’s take a mirror pic. I want to remember this exact moment forever”, he said as he took his phone out of his pocket . He moved behind you and grabbed you by the waist, he handed you the phone, he kissed your shoulder while you took it.

“I’ll send it to you later. Tomorrow, I’ll text you when I’m on my way to pick you up’ he said as he walked to the door. “Tonight, I’m a very happy boy”

Despite all the drama that could possibly come out of it you too were glowing, you almost felt high. 

“And I am a happy girl, see you tomorrow” you said as you open the door

“See you” he said and kissed you on the cheek, turned and left.

You closed the door, turned around to face your room, It just dawned on you that things were different from now on, there was no turning back from what you both have just done. 

“Oh my fucking god! What just happened?” you said outloud

Kostas

< <I should be in front of the hotel in 30 minutes. Can’t wait to see you, baby>>

Y/N

<<I’ll be ready, can’t wait either>>

It was late afternoon. You got seated in the passager seat and waited for Kostas to come around. There were people staring at you two, and one guy in the hotel valet area was waving at him while shouting “Greek Scouser!”. Kostas who is wearing a designer hoodie, black pants, and blue sunglasses waved back and smiled. He got in and drove forward. He hasn’t said much yet. “Sorry, that was hectic, too many people recognized me”

“No worries, it’s normal, you play for a big club”

He turns on the car stereo, it’s playing Greek Hip Hop.

“So, How was your day? I’ve been thinking about last night and you, all fucking day”

“It was okay, It took me a while to go to sleep last night, I was almost jittery when you left. But, I seized the day and did a couple of things today. I went sightseeing in the morning, and it was nice. Beatles stuff, Museum of Liverpool, took a walk, and had a late lunch in Chinatown, but mainly I just kept thinking about seeing you again the whole time, to be honest”

“I love that!” he said and kissed your shoulder and cheek

“This next one is the exit! Don’t miss it” you said while looking at the GPS

You arrived at the parking lot for your terminal area, Kostas parked between a wall and another car. He left the car on and lowered the music. 

“How long until you have to check in?” he asked

“30-40 minutes I would say”

“Okay” He took your hand and wrapped his around it, and softly put his lips on your hand to smack a trail of small kisses.

“Wish I could stay longer but it’s probably for the better” you said 

“You would get me in so much trouble” he said

“Like we’re not already in deep shit?”

“Oh, It could get worse” 

“That’s true” you said biting you lip because you knew exactly what he was referring to

“Come here” he said

You felt like a little puppy dog, moving your body towards him without thinking about it at all, ready to obey. He didn’t have to insist, you wanted it as much as him. He pulled your face towards his with his hands and gave you a passionate kiss, both of you shuffling on your seats finding ways to deepen the kiss. Your hands held on to whatever they could, his arms, shoulders, his face. His hands went from your face, to your hair, to your waist, your breasts, and arms. 

Kostas pulled back after a while and stared at you with serious intention, staying quiet for a few seconds. 

“There’s one thing that you need to do when you get home,” he said while playing with your hair “You need to get rid of John” he said

“Why would I do that?” you asked 

“Because I’m leaving Hannah” he responded

“Are you for real right now?” you asked barely able to talk 

“I mean it. It’s not fair for her or you or me to continue. I don’t want to have a secret or hurt her more than I have to. Look, I have two days off in a row in two weeks and I plan on flying to see you. But this time it’s not going to be a secret weird thing, I want to be with you. I want to try it out. I know you still have a little bit of time left for your university stuff. But I already waited three years, a couple of months won't kill me. We’ll figure it out. We”ll make it work.”, he held your hands again

You felt overwhelmed for a few seconds. But your mind turned to all the pleasant and warm feelings that you had the last day that reminded you so much of your time in Greece and how happy you were then. John was great, but he was not Kostas, and being in love with Kostas was bliss.

“That’s a big thing to ask, Kos”

“It is but I’m sure about this.”

You sighed even though you were sure too, it was hard to admit that you were going to break other people’s hearts.

“Okay, I’ll be ready in two weeks. We have to really try to make this work, darling. I promise I’ll try, I couldn’t bear it not working out. What I feel when I’m with you, it’s not like that with other people, you know?

“I do know. It’s going to work. I love you, Y/N”.

“I love you, stupid”

“I love you more, cottonhead” he replied before you kissed him again. He hugged you and hid his face on your neck. You wanted time to stay still, for Kostas and you to have this moment together forever. 

“It’s almost time for me to go” you announced in a sad tone

“I know” he said and he hugged you tight.  

Kos

<<There in one minute. I’m so pumped. Just you and me for two days.>

<Love you>>

“Just you and me” you read out loud, "finally." It really was happening. Your door’s ring bell called you, and you jumped up. You had organized your apartment and had a few candles lit up. You were wearing natural-looking makeup, you wore a crop top with high-waisted relaxed-fit pants, and wearing socks because your apartment was a no-shoes place. You rushed to the door, you opened it and there he was. 

“Babe!” he shouted and came in to hug you and kiss your face. “Kostas,” you said while hugging him back “get your stuff inside”

He turned around to get his luggage and closed the door. “Now, can I kiss my girl, please?”

“Yes, please! and thank you” He chuckled while you smiled

“Where’s the bedroom?” he asked while hovering over your lips.

“Down the hall” you replied 

You kissed each other with the freedom of honeymooners, loving each other, you wanted to devour each other, and for the next day and a half, you did exactly that.

[ruhorih4ra]

From Eden 💙

Chapter 2.5

Synopsis: 10 years after your death you reborn in the celestial realm, becoming an angel and protector of the gardens of Eden. You tried to forget your life in the Devildom but it seems that fate has other plans for you.

It contains:

Grammar mistakes. ಥ_ಥ

Angst?:(

Gn!Mc

LuciferxMc

Chapter 2

Lucifer was facing the mirror, he looked different. You once told him that everybody changes, even if they look the same. He sighed for the tenth time that day. Lucifer sat in his chair and carefully took the quill between his fingers, he stared at the blank piece of paper before him and his resolution began to falter. He swallowed, lifted his chin and started to write.

Dear, Mc.

It's been ten years since your death but I have to admit this to you, my love, it feels like a century has passed.

Sometimes I remember those days when you used to make fun of your own mortality, remember that? When I overworked, you would tell me how you could die at any moment and how bad I would regret not having stopped working to give you a hug.

Everytime you said that, my heart ached and no matter how many kisses and caresses you gave me, the pain wouldn't cease.

I always stopped my work to give you a hug, but you lied to me, my love. For I still regret not having hugged you more, perhaps that last time I shouldn’t have let you go, maybe you would be here with me.

I suppose you may want to know about my brothers, they are doing better now or at least they are trying. The first month after you left was pure chaos.

Satan's whole room was filled with books about how to revive death people. Beel didn't eat for a whole week and when he finally ate, he almost devoured the entire Devildom as he cried.

You would think Belphegor slept the pain away but no, he stayed awake in the planetarium looking your stars shine. He used to say that you were there. Leviathan and Asmodeus cried in their room, both tried to hid from reality. When they were about to sink they found each other, even when you're not here you bring us together.

Mammon took it worse, he was your “first” and he blamed himself. "I couldn't protect them" he repeated those words intensely like a broken record. The witches started to fear him, just imagine dear, they were afraid of Mammon because "He has the eyes of someone who has lost everything."

I didn't know what to do, I was scare of losing him too… but then, Simeon told us. You were reborn in heaven! You were alive! My brothers’ eyes, you should have seen that.

We thought you’d come back, we didn't want you to fall but maybe you could come with Simeon and Luke. But you did not. Why? I remember you were angry before your death. Diavolo brought another exchange student, the second phase he said. You told me how lonely you were feeling and how unfair it was that you were in the human world losing all the fun while we were hanging with the new human, you went as far as saying you would captivate them too.

I know you were joking, Mc. But maybe you’re still angry, is that so? Why do you keep torturing us with your absence? Why do you keep torturing me with the lack of love?

After your death, Diavolo said the exchange program would be "put on the waiting list”. I didn't know back then but that was his own way of mourning. Yesterday he told me that it was time to bring back his plan to unify the three worlds, but he seemed afraid. Something bad is happening. I know this is egotistical, love, but I wish you were here.

Please, come back. This may sound foolish but I'm sure that if I could see your face once more, I could die a happy demon.* So hurry up, come back to us, to me and when you see me, be sure to show me how much you’ve missed me.

With love, Lucifer.

*Yes, It's a line of "All I Want" from Kodaline. I was listening to it and my stubborn ass wanted to use it even if it didn't fit that much.

From Eden is also a song, from Hozier. 💜

This is not a replaced Mc au, that shit it's scary. (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

Chapter 3. ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

[prosopopeya]

2023 meme!

it's time

1. What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before?

went to ireland.

got married again to the same person in ireland. (we finally had our originally planned ireland elopement.)

went to physical therapy

went to the gym and lifted weights (unrelated to the physical therapy)

took my husband to the er

saw death cab for cutie and postal service in concert!!

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don't like to make those so probably not. and also no.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon's aunt passed away, which was very sad and sudden. jimmy buffett also died. not close to me but a significant loss.

5. What countries did you visit? ireland! not a country but we visited my aunt and uncle in maryland and had a great time!

6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023? i would like to get a new job that pays more with better benefits. but we'll see.

7. What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? same date as last year's meme, which is june 9. now it is the date where we got married in ireland. :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? working on healing my shoulder pain was pretty significant. also getting 69 bookmarks on a porn-centric fic of mine that's close to my heart. luckily i managed to catch it before it tipped over to 70.

9. What was your biggest failure? quitting going to the gym. i did genuinely enjoy it, but then i got that pinched nerve in my shoulder and the pain was pretty bad. i need to start it up again.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? yes, the pinched nerve in my shoulder. in ireland, i pinched my sciatic nerve and also nearly passed out from heat at the top of blarney castle. had a bad sinus infection when we came back and couldn't hear out of my ears very well for like a week.

11. What was the best thing you bought? the dress i wore to the ireland wedding.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? various tour guides and people in ireland who made our time there so awesome.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? i mean like most americans.

14. Where did most of your money go? wedding, travel, door dash, hotels. same as last year.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? ireland, obviously. starfield, and then womp womp. heartstopper. death cab and postal service concert! seeing the eras tour by myself in the theater.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2023? olivia rodrigo's guts album. noah kahan. the eras tour concert.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. Happier or sadder? the same i think. ii. Older or wiser? both i think iii. Thinner or fatter? i reject this iv. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? talk to people, exercise.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? ordering door dash. but it's just so easy...

20. How will you be spending Christmas? we went to my mom's house this year. my brother broke up with his girlfriend (a good decision on his part) and she proceeded to start a barrage of threatening texts from different numbers that is continuing to this day.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? we watched candlenights and then took turns playing music in a joint spotify jam while he played powerwash simulator and i started working on some of my legos.

22. Did you fall in love in 2023? with the game coral island.

23. How many one-night stands? at this moment i have several games that i started and abandoned because something new came out: tears of the kingdom, red dead redemption 2, baldur's gate 3, starfield, octopath traveller 2. and i'm currently installing spiderman 2 to play that. i do want to go back and finish all these games but god. it's so much work.

24. What was your favorite TV program? heartstopper, probably. i feel like i don't really know what tv i watched this year. i did watch a bunch of sister wives to keep up with tiktok conversations, but i would not rank that a favorite.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? i wouldn't say i'm loving where i work right now. my now ex sister in law isn't high on my list of faves but hate is a strong word.

26. What was the best book you read? i did reread the horse girl au again so there's that. i read most of 91 whiskey. i investigated some a/b/o stuff just to give it a shot. i don't know how many actual books i read.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? noah kahan.

28. What did you want and get? a new ipad, which was nice. powers johns lane, a new fave whiskey. married in ireland. 69 bookmarks. squishmallow. adhd diagnosis and medicine, which is going pretty good.

29. What did you want and not get? an interesting slime rancher 2 update. haunted chocolatier (jk concerned ape take your time).

30. What was your favorite film of this year? i saw everything everywhere all at once which was pretty great. i also saw the eras concert, the barbie movie, dungeons & dragons, the newest puss in boots movie. but there was a bit where i just watched a bunch of gay movies and i might have to give it to this english version of brokeback mountain that i enjoyed: god's own country.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i mostly sat around and bought myself presents and it was great. i turned 35.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? feeling like writing more often. <- last year's answer is still true.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023? comfy. comfort. comfortable things.

34. What kept you sane? quitting teaching <- still true. my husband. supernatural, bizarrely.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? i had a real olivia rodrigo moment this year.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? i mean i'd rather not think about any of it bc it all is depressing.

37. Who did you miss? my teacher friends. <- still true

38. Who was the best new person you met? we had a contractor at work who really talked me up and made me feel like i could find another job and get paid better. she was nice.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023: work to live, etc.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Oh, yesterdays are over my shoulder, So I can't look back for too long. There's just too much to see waiting in front of me, and I know that I just can't go wrong with these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes; nothing remains quite the same. With all of our running and all of our cunning, If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane

- jimmy buffett, "changes in latitude, changes in attitude"

[dudadragneel]

Dear annon! Here it is! I'm sorry that it took so longo and for the lame ending.

Requests are open

hello💞 not sure if requests are open but may I propose a Jake x reader where he’s nauseous and feverish on tour and y/n takes good care of him 💖

Idols schedules were always frantic, comebacks, concerts, MCing, variety programs, interviews, and trips. And sometimes all of this could happen within a week.

Tours were also tiring, sometimes there could be 2-3 concerts back to back, and usually, they had very little time to rest before catching a plane to another country. And that meant different time zones, jet lags, and different kinds of food.

It's actually surprising how they manage to deal with all of that, but, do they really?

You and Jake started dating a while after their debut, and of course, you kept it secret, you were even surprised how the company allowed it, but if it was working, why question it? 

Your dates would usually happen at the company building or sometimes they arranged it so they could go to your house and you could go to the dorms. 

You loved to play games with them and they always welcomed you so warmingly. And of course, whenever you could, you'd go on a few trips with them. But you could not take all of their schedules so, sometimes, if the tour stopped by your home country, you usually stayed there. 

This time, they were mid-tour and they had gone from a really hot weathered country to a cold one. And that messed with Jake's immune system.

You went with them to rehearsal but you and the boys noticed how he grew quiet throughout the dances. And when they were done with the first half of the rehearsal, Jake just slumped down to the floor with a loud sound, alarming everyone.

- JAKE!

You and the members ran to his side, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and squeezed them reassuring him you were there.

- Hey, babe, what's wrong? 

- I dont...I dont know.... I felt lightheaded all of a sudden.

You noticed that he was sweaty and you felt that he was hot through the fabric of his hoodie but it was only when he touched your hand for comfort, that you felt how hot he was.

- Oh my god, Jake, you're burning up! 

- Jesus man, you're on fire! 

- I'll bring a cold towel

The leader said exiting the room.

- Babe, how are you feeling?

- Hot and suffocated...

- let's take off this hoodie for a bit, hm?

- Okay.

You took off his hoodie and the moment you touched his skin, he hissed in pain.

- Agh!

- What is it? What's wrong? 

- I dont know, it hurts. It feels like everything is on fire when touching my skin.

- Can someone give me a thermometer?

- here.

One of the staff handed you a thermometer and you placed it under Jake's armpit. Five minutes later you took it off and were shocked.

- 37,5°C! Jake, how long have you been feeling like this?

- Come on, it's not that high....

- Not the time to be cute. Answer me.

You were as serious as someone could be and he didnt like to see you like that because he knew it was his fault.

- Maybe, since morning? No. I think it was since yesterday, at the end of the day.

- Why didnt you tell us?

Jay asked, just as serious as you.

- I dont know. I thought it was just because of the cold weather. That once I slept, it would go away.

- And what exactly were you feeling yesterday? 

- My nose was runny and my head was hurting a little. But I thought it was just because of the plane ride... didnt know it would become like this.

- And how are you feeling right now?

- Cold, lightheaded, and tired.

- I'll ask the instructors for a break.

Jungwon said getting up to talk to the staff.

You and the boys propped Jake up to his feet and guided him out of the room. It was too hot and stuffy inside there and it was making him feel out of air.

Jay got a wet cloth and handed it to you so you could wipe off Jake's sweat.

- I know it's uncomfortable, but it will make you feel a little better.

- Thanks....

- Jay, can you buy me a sports drink? I'm a little thirsty.

- I'll be right back.

After a few minutes, Jay got back with the drink and followed by Jungwon.

- The staff said we need to pass the choreography one more time and then we can go back to the hotel. You dont have to participate though, you can just watch.

- Alright.

- How are you feeling right now?

- A little better, I guess.

- Then let's get back into the room. 

- I'll stay with him.

- Please.

You went back to the practice room with Jake and sat in a corner watching the others run the choreographies.

You noticed how focused he was and how from time to time he pressed his forehead and squeezed his eyes.

- Hey, you okay?

- Hm? Yeah... It's just my head, it's hurting a little bit. 

- I have some painkillers with me, do you want one?

- No, thanks. I dont think I can take them now...

- Why? Are you feeling something else?

- I dont know for sure...my stomach feels kind of weird?

- Weird, like nausea?

- I dont know how to explain... It feels like I'm full even if I didnt really eat that much.

- Okay. So slow down on the water, alright? Take small sips. Just for precaution.

- Alright, my love.

The practice felt like it would never end and eventually Jake was feeling too tired, his head was hurting, his face felt like it was lit on fire, his skin felt hot and damp at the same time, and his stomach felt weird. He just wanted to get out of that place, he wanted a shower and a bed, that's all.

Noticing this, you guided his head towards your shoulder and wrapped your arm around him, while your other hand massaged his.

- It'll be over soon babe. Then we can go back to our room.

- Thanks....

He felt safe and comfortable with you and he must've been more tired than he thought because he managed to doze off even with all of that noise.

After more 45 minutes, the never-ending practice finally ended. You woke him up and helped him to his feet. 

The fever must've gotten a bit higher because the movement made him dizzy. As soon as he was up, his vision blurred and he felt his head spinning before he knew he had leaned his weight on your body.

- Hey! Jake! 

- Oi! You okay?

Jay said grabbing one of Jake's arms while you supported him. The rest of the group made their way to you alerted by the situation.

- Jake-Hyung, are you okay? What happened?

- Sorry guys.... I just got really dizzy when I stood up....

- Babe, I think your fever went up a bit....

You said putting your hand on his forehead.

- Yeah....it feels like it....

- Come on, let's go back to the hotel.

- Can you walk? 

- Honestly? I dont think so.... my legs feel weak.... I'm afraid of fainting....

You could hear in his voice that Jake's condition worsened in the last minutes and that he was feeling more than tired, he was exhausted. 

- I'll give you a piggyback ride to the car, okay?

He was embarrassed to the core but he felt like every ounce of strength left his body, so he accepted your request.

Thankfully he wasnt that heavy so you could carry him on your back.

The ride back to the hotel went peacefully, he slept through the entire ride on your shoulder and you could feel how hot he was. 

Upon arriving to the hotel, the boys and the managers helped Jake to your room.

You helped him lay down on the bed.

- We'll have the medical team check him, okay?

- Alright. 

- Hey, babe, do you want to take a shower? You sweat too much today....

- I dont think I have any strength right now.... I just want to sleep for a while....

- Okay...Lets wait for the doctor, see if they'll give you any sort of medicine.

After a few minutes, the medical team came to check him and concluded that he had a cold, hence the fever and the diziness was being caused by it. They said that since his throat was in good condition, he could perform, after taking the medicine and eating.

- You can rest now, we'll come to get you guys for dinner later, okay?

- Okay. Thank you.

- Do you want to take the medicine now, my love?

- Yeah... hopefully it'll help me rest a little...

He took the medicine and within 15 minutes he was fast asleep, you laid down next him and pulled him closer to you. Jake wrapped his arms around you, and rested his head on your chest, your heartbeat helping him calm down.

You checked his temperature from time to time and felt relieved when you noticed it was coming down.

Jake slept for the rest of the day, until night, which you were grateful for, he really needed that.

Around 7PM, Jake woke up, and he felt better, thankfully, the best he felt all day.

- Good morning, sleepyhead!

- Y/n.... good mornin- wait, what?

- I'm just joking haha

- You startled me, babe. Was I out for too long?

- Well....basically for 5 hours or so. You slept like a ferret.

- I needed that, I feel much better now.

- Your fever went down a lot! Do you think you can take a shower now? We'll leave in a few minutes for dinner.

- Yeah! I'll be ready in no time.

He felt a lot better, so he thought it had just been the symptoms of a mild cold and that he would be 100% better by morning. But his evening was just starting.

Getting out of the shower he decided to put on a hoodie and some pants, it wasnt the most stylish outfit but you had to admit, he looked cute. He said that given what he felt that day, he just wanted to be comfortable. 

The group was going to have dinner at the hotel's restaurant, given Jake's condition earlier, they didnt want to risk going out of the hotel and something happening.

You two met with the rest of the group in the lobby area before heading to the reserved area of the restaurant.

- Hey Jake! How are you? 

- Better. I slept for some time. I feel much better now. And y/n said my fever went down, so that's good. 

- Great! You must be hungry.

- Starving!

- Your table is ready.

The food came and you had to admit, you'd never not be surprised by how much these boys ate. Sometimes you wondered if they ate anything at all during the day. 

Jake ate as if he had been starving all day, and for a while, you were very happy to see him eating like that. But that didnt last long.

30 minutes into the dinner, Jake's body started to feel funny again. There was a slight headache starting, he felt like his fever was coming back and his stomach was starting to act up. He decided to sit back on his chair, trying to get a little away from the food, but you noticed he had gone quiet.

- Hey, babe, is everything okay? You got quiet all of a sudden....

-Hm? Yeah, I'm fine, it's just my head started to hurt a little.

You grabbed his hand and noticed it was a little hotter than when you guys went down to the lobby.

- You're starting to feel hot. Maybe you fever is coming back?

- Maybe. But I'm okay.

- If you say so...Look! Your favorite food is here.

- Ah, yeah, I'm kind of full now...

- Really? But you like this so much! Just a bite, you deserve it after what happened earlier.

- Okay.

Jake started eating again, and for some time, his stomach actually accepted the food but then things took a turn for the worse. 

He had one more bite, and his stomach decided it was just too much. He immediately felt nauseous, he felt cold sweat on his neck, he put his spoon down and tried to keep up with the conversation going on.

But it only got worse, he felt his food coming up his throat and began swallowing convulsively, he held onto the fabric of his clothes with a tight grip, trying to focus on his breathing, but it wasnt working. He was going to be sick. 

- Guys...Excuse me... where's the bathroom?

- Hm? It's a bit in the back. Jake, is everything okay?

- No- I'm gonna be sick-

He gagged onto his hand and Heeseung was quick to get up from his chair and went to Jake's side.

- I'll take you there. Can you stand up?

- I dont- I feel lightheaded...my legs feel weak....

- Come on, I've got you.

Heeseung helped Jake up and held him close as the younger bent over. You wanted to go with them, but you were in a somewhat public space, meaning you couldnt enter the men's restroom.

- Y/n noona, was he like this before?

- No...He was feeling better. He took his medicine and slept. When he woke up he said he was feeling good and took a bath. 

- Maybe the food didnt sit well with him...

Heeseung got to the restroom just in time, as Jake couldnt hold it any longer. He bent over as a thick stream made it's way out, coming out of his nose as well. The sensation was horrible since he didnt drink anything during dinner, it was just solid chunks, which made him even more nauseous, as the texture left a horrible sensation in his mouth and throat. 

He had no time to breathe before another wave came out, hitting the edge of the toilet as well. 

Heeseung kept rubbing Jake's back, up and down and in circles, trying to give the younger a little comfort. 

After a few more rounds, Jake straightened his body, trying not to vomit anymore, but everything he felt that day had escalated to the maximum level.

Suddenly his fever spiked, his head pounded as if someone had landed a punch and he felt incredibly lightheaded.

The movement made him dizzy and he felt cold sweat from his neck all the way to his back. He was going to faint.

- Hyung....I feel like I'm gonna faint....

- Okay, it's okay. I've got you. Come here.

He was thankful that he knew English as Jake suddenly spoke in his native language. It happened whenever he got sick, as it was more comfortable for him. 

He put his arms underneath Jake's arms just in time as the boy lost consciousness, and he felt how hot the younger was. He carefully guided him down to the floor and used his hoodie as a temporary pillow, and he lift Jake's legs up to help the circulation back to his brain.

He soaked a towel with cold water and used it to wipe off the sweat in the boy's face. Slowly, the color came back and he started to breathe normally again.

A few seconds later Jake regained consciousness, but all the information coming back was too much, the lights, the smells, the noise, everything was too much. Before he even managed to get up, he felt vomit coming up his throat again, he barely had time to turn to his side before throwing up again. 

Heeseung helped him sit down and rubbed his back as he continued to vomit again.

- I'm sorry hyung-

- Dont worry about the mess okay? Let everything out. 

Jake's body was determined to get rid of everything as he continued to vomit, each wave hitting the ground with a sickening sound. 

- There you go. Do you think you're done? 

- yeah.... 

- Can you stand up? 

- No....I have no strength

- I'll help you up.

He put his arms underneath Jake's and slowly guided him up, and once he was standing, he made sure to support him and check if he felt dizzy again. He helped the boy to the sink to rinse his mouth, but standing up was killing him.

- Hyung- I dont feel good...I cant feel my legs...

- Here. I'll carry you back.

He helped Jake to his back and gave him a piggyback ride back to the restaurant.

Everyone was shocked with the situation.

He sat him down on a chair and you went straight to him and pulled his head close to your body and started rubbing his back reassuringly.

- Heeseung hyung, what happened??

- He threw up a lot and his fever spiked and he ended up fainting. 

- Oh my god.

- Hyung, isnt it best to take him to the hospital?

- I think it'd be better. We need to figure out what's going on with him. I'll take someone from the medical staff and y/n with us. I'll let you guys know as soon as we have an answer.

- Okay, hyung.

The manager took you to the hospital and after some tests, Jake was diagnosed with a bad stomach flu that was aggravated due to his immune system being weak. He spent 2 hours in the hospital taking IV fluids due to dehydration.

The doctor gave him a prescription for anti-emetics and a fever reducer before you were free to go.

Arriving at the hotel, the manager carried Jake back to your shared bedroom before leaving to tell the members about his condition.

- Hyung, how's Jake? What's wrong with him?

- He's got a bad case of stomach flu. The doctor said that his immune system is weak due to all the trips and everything and it aggravated the situation. They gave him a prescription for anti-emetics and fever reducer. He probably wont take part in tomorrow's performance.

- I understand. Well, we'll let him rest then. Y/n is with him right?

- Yes. The medical staff is with them as well, at least for now.

BEDROOM 

- He probably will continue to vomit, but try your best to keep him hydrated. If you notice that he's losing too much water, call us and we'll set another IV fluid for him. It might be an arduous night but we'll be available any time okay?

- Okay! Thank you so much.

After the medical staff left, you were left alone with your sick boyfriend.

- Jake, how are you feeling?

- Like I could pass out at any time....

- So a bath right now is the last thing we can do....

- Yeah...but I feel gross, I smell like vomit and I'm covered in sweat...

- I can wipe your sweat. I'll call one of the boys to support you while I do it, okay?

- That's embarrassing but okay.

He said, finally letting out a little laugh.

- Yeah, you'll have to deal with it, babe.

You said laughing back. 

Before calling one of the members, you checked his temperature.

- Jesus, babe, 38.5°C! No wonder you feel like fainting. 

- It feels awful....

- And the nausea?

- Gone for a while...

- Thank god.

You called Jay to help you give him a little bath.

- Yo, Jake, how are you feeling?

- Horrible, but at least the nausea is gone for now.

- That's good!

- Babe, let's take off that hoodie.

You said, coming back with a bowl and a wet towel.

- Jay, can you sit behind him? And support his back for me? While I wipe off his chest?

- Sure.

- Babe, this might feel bad because the water is a little cold.

He hissed in pain as the cold cloth touched his skin, his fever was so high, the smallest of touches made it feel like it was cutting his skin.

You whipped off the sweat from his chest then moved on to his back, and Jay helped you and him throughout the process. 

After a few minutes, you finished the process and gave him another hoodie, a lighter one this time. He needed to take his fever reducer so he had to eat something.

- Babe, do you think you can stomach at least some bread? Just so you can take your medicine?

- Maybe...I dont feel that nauseous anymore

- Good.

You ordered some bread for the sick boy, which the hotel staff was quick to deliver.

He ate it and thankfully his stomach accepted it and took his medicine.

- Babe, I'm tired...

- Do you want to watch some tv until you sleep?

- Yeah...

- Come here, my love.

You let him rest his head on your chest and cuddled him. You kept stroking his hair and within a few minutes he was fast asleep.

You turned off the main lights and let just a darker one on so you could read.

After 1 hour or so, the boy was still sleeping and you thought that he would finally be able to rest after such a tiring day. But that wasnt the case.

2 hours into the night, Jake started to feel funny again, his stomach started to twist and turn while he was sleeping. You noticed him shifting uncomfortably and woke him up.

- Babe, Jake, wake up. What's wrong? 

- Hm? My stomach....I dont feel good...

- Do you think you're gonna be sick?

- I dont know....

- Okay. Can you walk to the bathroom?

- No...I feel weak, I dont want risk passing out on you....

- Okay. Here.

He sat on the edge of the bed and you gave him the bucket that was near. You sat beside him and rubbed his back.

- Just let it out babe. Unfortunately, you'll only feel better if you let it out.

- I dont want to, my stomach hurts from all the movement.

- I know babe, but holding it in wont help.

He didnt want to throw up again but his body said otherwise. The nausea increased by the second and he started to spit thick saliva into the bucket, he gagged unproductively a few times before another wave of vomit poured out of his mouth hitting the bucket.

- There you go. You're doing good. I'm right here my love. 

You rubbed his back up and down as he emptied his stomach. You thanked the heavens that it had been enough time for the medicine to kick in so he wouldnt have to take it again.

The ordeal went on for a few minutes before he was left dry heaving. You cleaned his mouth and gave him some water to rinse it. 

Given the situation you decided to settle him in a sitting position on the bed, just in case.

- Lets try to take that anti-emetic? Think you can keep it down?

- I hope so...

He took the medicine, which his stomach thankfully accepted.

After a few more minutes he was asleep again, you took the opportunity to clean the bucket and take a shower. You sat beside him on the bed and kept rubbing his hand.

Unfortunately, it wasnt long before he got sick again and that's how your night went on, with Jake getting sick at least 5 more times.

The next day, he didnt take part in the concert, and he also couldnt go to enjoy it with you.

You two spend the day on the hotel room, but this time Jake only got sick two times and by night he was feeling better, the fever being the lasting symptom.

- Babe, next time you're not feeling well, you need to tell us, okay? So we can avoid the situation worsening like this.

- I'm sorry, love. I really thought it was just something from the plane ride. Will you forgive me?

He looked at you with the cutest puppy eyes you've ever seen in your life, and you couldnt help but squeeze his cheeks.

- I love you.

- I love you too, babe.

[wiltking]

finished The Stark Divide by j. scott coatsworth

i liked it, but i wish i could have liked it more. conceptually there are a lot of really cool things going on. how many scifis about generational ships have horses? AIs with organic hearts? a heavy focus on natural elements and primitive survival skills as a safeguard against disastrous over-reliance on tech? not to mention the author's whole deal of casually (but firmly) queerifiying scifi.

but this whole thing really could have used a better editor. not only to fix continuity issues like a character's hair color changing from dark to inexplicably blond, a completely wrong name on the map, and the wrong form of a slavic character's name, but to help shape it into something better overall because there's so much potential here. and it had such a strong start! but parts 2 + 3 felt like they took massive steps back, mostly in terms of dialogue. a lot of it felt generic and even unnecessary. it was clean and idealized, almost characterless, which is unfortunate when the first part felt so (problematically, messily, interestingly) human.

now i need to dip into spoiler territory for this paragraph because it bothered me that we barely knew anything about colin's lifelong gay lover. even without any romance i would have liked to know more about the guy instead of having him as an extremely distant and vague presence the entire time. probably my biggest issue however is the instance where a character refers to a refugee camp as a literal "cancer on the land, the virgin territory of [ship's name]", when the entire reason for the camp's inhumane state is a direct result of governmental neglect. it's a bit. tonedeaf? especially coming from the 'good savior' character sent to sort out the camp. especially when, later, hundreds of other emergency colonists are suddenly forced into the same system, they're given instant access to communal mess halls and temp housing programs that were available all along but never repurposed to help with the refugee influx. like, okay. sure buddy. and we're never going to talk about the disconnect there? not even going to address it? not even going to have a list of the refugees' names after weeks of mismanagement? cool. you could frame this in a way that comments on how real refugee camps are run and how migrants from different origins are treated vastly different, but it blows my mind that there is none of that. it's all given at face value with zero narrative legwork and this presentation doesn't sit well with me.

overall i think coatsworth has good intentions with this story, and some genuinely fascinating ideas. but man looking at the downward slope of my enjoyment makes me sad.