#overcooked spaghetti

[canisalbus]

This made me think of Machete being flattened from cuddling or just generally being a dog that looks like he was squished by a boulder like a cartoon

Also I am constantly in tears over Vasco and Machete

[averagenderedmanta]

If you dont acknowledge the microwaved tea, you should prepare for a bed made out of overcooked spaghetti.

[linddzz]

Being the stronger one in the couple while also being a full foot shorter is the best. The real life dwarf/elf couple vibes. The physical comedy of picking my husband up and his feet are still scraping the ground. The confused people at stores when I'm the one who's picking up the big heavy bags as an ongoing theme of us existing as proof positive that you can have an m/f couple that still makes Straight people clock and get confused that something Not Normative is going on there

[cantsayidont]

LISA FRANKENSTEIN (2024): Perplexingly tepid retro pastiche of HEATHERS and EDWARD SCISSORHANDS, about a teenage outcast (Kathryn Newton) who befriends a reanimated 19th century corpse (Cole Sprouse), leading to murder and mayhem as they try to get him the spare parts he needs to be a Real Boy.

The premise promises grisly fun, but Diablo Cody's hopelessly muddled script undersells the central romance, takes a weirdly ambivalent attitude toward its own violence (which fails as both horror and revenge fantasy), and awkwardly nerfs both the gore and the obviously necrophiliac overtones in pursuit of a misguided PG-13 rating (which I'm astonished it actually received, given the content).

It's clear that Cody and director Zelda Williams are big fans of the older cult classics the film endlessly quotes and paraphrases, but it's equally clear that they've failed to grasp what works (and doesn't) about those movies, much less how to combine their various homages into a coherent original story; LISA FRANKENSTEIN has no real satiric direction of its own and is only intermittently funny. (Also, despite the title, the film, which is set in 1989, includes no vintage Lisa Frank designs, the filmmakers having apparently blown their entire licensing budget on REO Speedwagon and Echo and the Bunnymen songs.)

This could have been a slam-dunk for people who grew up loving the movies it references, but you'd be better off just (re)watching HEATHERS instead.

[angeltannis]

Love when lesbians and dudes into death by snu snu come together for a common cause

[uldahstreetrat]

I got a few asks and stuff over the weekend and I promise im not ignoring them <33

twas a busy time cause of my sister's birthday so I just need a day or two to rest up! the chronic sure do be illnessing

[halfsiblingsinblue]

In case you were wondering, that stain on the carpet is from when a junior officer accidentally spilled their spaghetti lunch years ago. They never did manage to get it out completely.

[graveyardrabbit]

I don’t think laying down in the soil would completely fix me, but I think it would help

[mychemicalroadworkahead]

Safe foods are wild cause I’ll have a meltdown then not be able to eat for the rest of the day but then when I finally can all I’m able to eat is a spoonful of peanut butter like what? My brain is so fucking weird

But also very happy that I still have all the same ones that I had as a kid and nothing’s been changed about them because I genuinely don’t think I could handle my life right now without Kraft mac and cheese cups

Plus side though: found a new safe food that checks all the boxes! Easy to make (literally just pop it in the microwave for 4 minutes), good texture, tastes great, not hard to chew, can be gotten into mouth without having to open mouth very much. And a bonus point for being vegan so I don’t have to worry about getting sick from it:)

[violasmirabiles]

Good evening! I bring you five scenes of Bill and Ryan that kinda sorta have like. Themes and stuff, but also it’s not that deep. This is not the trauma fic I was planning some days ago and that’s fine <3

[kyoupann]

Sometimes I'm sitting there, spaced out and suddenly TotK comes to mind and I'm brought back by the whiplash of all it could have been instead of whatever it ended up being 🫠

[dhwty-writes]

I moved to a new room yesterday and honestly I don't know from where I summoned the spoons to pull that off but somehow I did. I managed to unpack all of my boxes except for one that's full of kitchen stuff where I wanted to ask my roommates where to put it. The room is not yet tidied up (dear god my desk is a MESS, not that it ever not is) but I got so much more done that I expected

I was also really nervous about living with other people and not feeling comfortable in shared areas/sneaking around the whole time bc that's what happened every time since I moved out of my parents' house. Apparently I shouldn't have worried at all bc after one of my roommates came home we stayed in the kitchen talking for 2 hours and it was super nice

Honestly I'm so glad I moved and probably should have done that way sooner. This is so much better

[ectokelpeigh]

Yk, I remember watching that one Ep from S3 where Vlad runs for Mayor, it totally made me think of The Simpsons episode, Sideshow Bob Roberts. Because they both rigged an election to win, they get their plans foiled. And they both hate children *COUGH COUGH* Danny and Bart *COUGH COUGH*

So Vlad has displayed… clown behavior 🤡

[sleepykas]

stop talking about jeans immediately /j, here, have some lasagna

I will not stop talking about jeans and I despise lasagna so this is the worst bribe ever

[loversandantiheroes]

The life-or-death struggle to find take out spaghetti that doesn’t suck and isn’t over $20 for a single serving.

[wyvernwinds]

why is fitz spilling all of the fools shit to the pale woman you literally just met her and saw she had people in cages 20 minutes before that WHY are you telling her all the fools plans you absolute idiot i want to whack you with a stick