#i need to get up soooo early tmrw

[zero-is-nebulous]

Guys I'm so normal I'm so normal I'm so

[girlwithfish]

like I was not not busy enough to chill and read in the corner bc I have to redirect students a lot and keep an eye on them but I was not busy enough to not be like thinking abt all my shit too today. Lameeeee

[astrachigo]

Another update, lol. Soooo.. yeah, I did manage to get a half of the first part covered up in the last hour, but it still needs a lot of work. I'm slowly getting sleepy and my computer's dying, so I'll probably finish up by either Wednesday or Thursday. Once again, so sorry for the inconvenience, I myself didn't expect that and am very upset with how much progress I've lost, but at least it's turning out a bit longer so far? It's honestly mostly my fault, since I should've had saved the damn file sooner, but oh well, at least I'm used to it by now lmao. Again, I'll try my best to finish up as early as possible, though I can't promise anything. Will wake up earlier tmrw so I can continue working on the chapter. But for now, I wish you all a good day (or in my case, night)! Stay strong and remember to actively save whatever project you're working on! ✌

[messyliferip]

12.23.21

i seriously cannot believe the test is almost done…. my cousins engagement party is tmrw and i still have no outfit ready. i ended up pulling an all nighter and i finished studying all of anatomy but just the overview i don’t have anything memorized EKKKK!!! anatomy lab final is in the 26th and i am scared beyond my wits. histo and physio lab finals already seem so long ago. i need to just print out all the tables so i can drill the insertions and origins over and over again until they stick. i’m such a pos i’m gonna be at the party just doing flashcards cause i’m not at ALL prepared!!! i should be happy that i’ve finished a whole class a week and some before finals start but i can’t focus on that because i have a final in two days!!! what i studied for the theoretical class is def gonna help me with the anatomy so there’s that.

i’m soooo bad at freaking vessels and nerves like esp on models and freaking cadavers I JUST CANT TELL ANY OF IT APART!!!! anyways i’ve been up since yesterday so i’m best but i’m hoping to wake up early like 5am hopefully. i love how i literally wrote a whole song smh…. idk wtf is wrong with me. throughout hs i always studied with music and sang along like full out rock or rap and it was chill now i can’t focus for the life of me if i have any words even if they’re in a language i don’t understand so i was stuck with silence and then i tried binaural beats which are actually pretty sick but i wanted something more vibey so i tried lofi which went good…. until i realized some beats are so simple and i could easily write lyrics too…. smmmhh i’ve never written a full song or even like gotten to two choruses but now i have a full song smh …. this is NOT the time to pick up a new hobby.

anyways hopefully i get some good studying in in the morning so i can enjoy myself at the party !!

[cheswirls]

tbh i dont even know why i bother anymore ive been trying to fix my sleep schedule for the past few days now and this is the millionth time in a row where its nearly 4am and im still awake and part of me wants t go to sleep but another part is jus like if i go to sleep now then i wont wake up until like 6pm and i dont wanna waste away another day like that and hm hm hmmmmmm

but the past couple days ive been awake until like 9-10 and going good but then i lay down to do something like watch a video or w/e and then i fall asleep and its 8pm. and ive wasted the day away

so i think the optimal solution ive come to is this: im gonna get coffee. maybe we have gingerale, i doubt we have soda, i jus need caffine. maybe some oreos, some food. cold water. and im gonna start going thru the first divided section of my room so at least that’ll be out of the way on the chance i do fall asleep and stay unconscious for the entire day again. that’s one of the things ive been meaning to do but that i dont really have the motivation to do when its evening/night soooo uh yh

and im hoping i can be on it doing stuff until morning, maybe go get breakfast again, get like a slush or some caffeinated drink from the sonic near the house, take care of the dog some, and continue working on that section of my room. theres a lot to do when you’re having to decide a if you want to keep your shit and b if you want to take it w you to college and then c if not where does it need to go. i can maybe still be doing that in four hours, when its 8 and i maybe feel like trying to wake dad up. 

if i get done i got reminded today/yesterday eveningish -at this point everything rusn together ehfgkrwweb only the 4th is keeping me straight date wise like this many days til a holiday okay- shit

does dad even work tmrw? wow okay. maybe someone can wake me up if i fail myself but otherwise scrap that ig

k most things are still open so w/e mom still has work itll be fine. 

i got reminded earlier than i have like two weeks until my arizona trip that turns into the southern west coast trip a few days after that. so i can start thinking abt packing/planning for that a little more. i can draw after that i need to draw more

so basically im gonna force myself awake until like 2 pm bc by then mom will be off and shes the person ican work out maybe going to like target or kirklands and looking at dorm stuff with, maybe lunch bc chances are she had maybe a bag of chips, some popcorn, w/e since its a tuesday and thatll tie me over until tonight where i can sit out nd talk w dad while he grills shit and talk abt how the fireworks are gonna get rained out maybe but if not ey good for those ppl its been soso dry for these past few years but theres been rain every night this week like. hard. hard rain. so its a good fireworks time now.

and then after i eat dinner i can conk out around 10-11 pm which is NORMAL PPL SLEEP TIME and hopefully ill be so tired from doing a +24hr circuit that ill sleep early and wake up decently.

ooor i can sleep in til 5 but even 2-5 is better than 7-8 bc i literally do nothing then eat and then have all this time to do w/e bc im not tired sooo yh. thats the plan we will see

[messyliferip]

so…. 2/9 finals done

i honestly dont even know what to say.... like it was okay??? i didn't study enough ofc like i was literally passing out as i was studying like i would be reading my slides, fall asleep, wake up forty minutes later, read more, fall asleep for two hours, wake up and study and LOOP literally from 1am-8am thats all i was doing just breaking my neck. ngl I didn't have the coagulation factors memorized, all the ranges for cbc and csf were meshing together, totally forget everything i took for esr and just like idk i was a mess. and i literally took the test 60Qs in an hour and im just lost.... like i have no idea how I did. like literally no clue. Im pretty sure i passed the class tho, esp cause my attendance was good and then i passed the midterm. still worried tho.

I have an engagement ament party this friday that I would LOVE to go to but that means I need to study my butt off cause I have my anatomy lab final this sunday. It was initially on saturday but THANK GOD it was pushed back. I'm just terrfied tho like there's literally sooooooo much and i;m sooooo bad at anatomy idek why??? i used to be obssesed with anatomy but now im just tired. its so freaking dense and its head and neck AND lower limb + back like tfffff. its literally everything from the beginning of the semester.... Im so scared like I don't have the leg or the foot memorized at all... im studying back rn for just the anatomy class and it doesnt seem that back but im worried about all the muscles. and then i freaking hate head and neck like just shoot me ughhh i hate my antomy professor and the anatomy lab prof is get this..... WORSE HAH. so yea.... im struggling. finals are soooo soon and im so behind i made a semi study plan and hopefully i can stay on track cause i dont want to be fail :'|

anyways I have a geentics research paper which I need to turn in tuesday. so im going to start on that today, probably just read about the subject a bit, finish studying anatomy and review some physiology and then sleep and try and wake up supppperrrr early so i can get an early start cause tmrw i have no college.